737. - Brynn Wallner

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? New Year's. Rockin' Eve. It's Chris Black here in Los Angeles with my illustrious And beloved co-host, DJ Them Jeans, Jason Stewart. What's really good, baby? It's New Year's Eve. Avoid the bookings, beloved. Yes. Thank God that our podcasting hero, Joe Budden, who did get charged with public indecency for sleepwalking nude in an apartment building. Has he is in Turks and Caicos. He is wearing kith on the beach. Everything is fine. He didn't do any time. We're going to get out of this. We're going to push through. He will be exonerated on all charges. I've talked to his legal team. We have a great strategy. Yeah. So I would say the strategy of I was sleepwalking nude. Do you think that's going to hold up in court? How do we prove that? Do you know what the actual charge? I mean, it just says indecent, indecent exposure. Yeah, it's indecent. So that means he was outdoors naked. No, he was he knocked on his neighbor's door fully nude. That's what I put the neighbor. But apparently it's it's the place where they record the podcast. So they've had to move the recording back to Parks's basement because they're like banned from the building.

It's this whole thing. We'll get to the bottom of it. Okay. So he's in a live workspace in New York or New Jersey? Of course. New Jersey. Yeah, but he has a giant house in New Jersey. I think it's probably like they go late and he's just like, fuck it, I'll stay here type shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, hopefully he has a history of nude sleepwalking. That reminds me of Mike Birbiglia, the polar opposite of Joe Budden in every way. No, don't. Mike Birbiglia definitely wears weird Bottega beanies. Don't do that. You know he does. Don't discount his swag. Yeah, I was listening to Budden yesterday, and he was talking about the shower trick. which is one of the moves that he uses to seduce a partner. Before he retired, he's out of the game now. Decades ago, many, many centuries ago, back when he was doing dirt and doesn't do anything like that anymore at all. I don't think Mike Berbiglia has ever done a move to have sex ever. It's just like, oh, this is happening. That's his move. Yes, I would agree that he doesn't seem like a real monster. He ain't at Starlet's blowing a bag, that's for sure. He hasn't blown anyone's bag. The last time he blew a bag out was probably when he didn't empty out his lawnmower and the bag was full. No, that's when he stood up too fast. He blew his own back out. Last time I blew my back out, I was playing soccer with the kids in the yard. Yeah, that's the only way he blew it back out. But look, we're praying for Joe and all of the Bionic Six over there. Let's get through this. It's tough to get charged like this. But I found out some pretty exciting information for me personally, Jason. Okay. And I got a call. I was chatting with Jeff Henney this morning, and then him and Sarah called me. best performances three-way call it was no that she just hit the phone rang immediately and then it was just her on the other line but his name showed up type thing got it chris we're in the car we have a question to ask you about pop culture that's literally what it was no it was it was it was more of a what should i do at pause i'm going to the brentwood location which is obviously obviously i'm well versed but then we started talking about the party the the best performance party on saturday and she confirmed saturday fuck she confirmed that several cast members

from Landman, my new favorite show, will be in attendance. Okay. So I need you to be ready with the .5 mode to get me and Ali Larder together in a picture so we can caption it, Landman Season 2 coming soon. Do you think you could help me with that? Of course. I'm a .5 master if you want. I also am offering bespoke boomerang services this season. Ellie Larder. I know that name, but I need to... Oh, okay. I see it. She's a Chris archetype, but she's also been around. She was in the Abercrombie Bruce Weber catalogs. You know what I mean? She's kind of a legend. She played the baddie in Varsity Blues. A lot of people my age got their first chub to that type of situation. She's, of course, in Legally Blonde. The list goes on. Her husband has a real Chris-style name. What's his name? Her spouse married in 2009, Hayes MacArthur. Hayes? He's an actor as well. I've seen him in a bunch of stuff, but just that name, Hayes MacArthur. He got lucky with this one. Okay. We'll say that. All right. Big Hayes is batting out of his league. God bless him, and congratulations to them on many years of marriage, and I hope to at least get a photo with you, if not a phone number. Hayes MacArthur, come on the pod. He's most known for his work on TBS comedy series Angie Tribeca. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From 2016 to 2018. Hey, those sitcoms, those network sitcoms pay well. We know that. That probably bought them a house in Beachwood Canyon. It's nothing to shake a stick at. Angie Tribeca did not take place in Tribeca either, did it? No, it didn't. I remember that show. I don't remember the details. Forgive me. It was like a cop sitcom that was kind of like the Naked Gun. It was like LAPD. Classic film. Hijinx kind of thing. I love Naked Gun. The Naked Gun. Did you just say Naked Gun? Naked? I love that. I love the fucking Naked Gun. Bruh, my favorite movie, Naked Gun, 33 and a third. 33 and a third. Damn, that's funny that they named it that. All right, so it's New Year's Eve. We have plans tonight. But first and foremost, we've both been using these weighted vests. And I used it today at Equinox for the first time. And I felt...

insane but also everyone at equinox looks so insane that i feel like they don't even notice that i'm wearing it no not at all but i'm because i'm wearing it over my shirt i'm wearing it like over my clothes okay you wear it underneath well i've never worn it to i've never worn it public yeah i just wear it like while i'm walking the dogs in the morning so far or like working out in my backyard like you know do some pull-ups with the thing on so yeah i guess i'll wear it over but yeah otherwise i have like a jacket on over it because it's Freezing. Everyone at Equinox or any gym ever is just always dressed stupidly. I saw two different guys with cherry hoodies on today in the Equinox. I walked past the cherry store a couple days ago. I had to return some shit at the railroad and then we went to Santa Maria Novela. and we walked past the cherry store and just carol and i we didn't know that it was the cherry store we just you know when you're walking down the street nyc style and you look into a store and you're just like That's what happened to us. We both looked inside. Every single person walking in, every person working there, everyone had these fuzzy pants. It's like 9 a.m., and I'm wearing sunglasses indoors, and the sunglasses are bright yellow. It's one of the worst out. I don't even know what it is. You know what I mean? I couldn't even describe it to you, which is a testament to how bad it is, because if something's really bad, I can go into deep detail. It makes Matt Happy look like Laura Piana type shit. I mean, at least it doesn't have a fake mental health bend. I'll give them that. It's just like Beverly Hills Rich Kids that bought ALD. That's all it is. But that's fine. That's all it is. But it really is. It only exists in LA. It's one of those brands that you only see here. You never see that shit in New York. No one talks about it. It's like it doesn't exist. I'm sure some NBA players are sharing the wealth. And it's dipped into Miami a little bit as well. Yeah, Wemby, they don't make pants long enough for Wemby at the park playing chess. Wemby and I go custom. And I talked about this before in the last episode. Wemby, you got any pants that don't work for you? Real, real. Give me a notification alert.

You should sign up for Wimby alerts. I want to subscribe to Wimby on The RealReal. The RealReal. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited. We're going out tonight. We have dinner at Etra. Then we're going to Chateau Marmont. And then who knows where the night leads us. I've gotten several party invites in just the last [redacted address] New Year's Eve always goes. This morning, Carolyn and I were walking. And I was just like, you know, if it wasn't for Carolyn, you know, putting plans together. But she's not even. She's just. She's just receiving. She's just opening her phone and things are happening. Yeah, yeah. But I was asking myself, if I was single and just on my own, what would I be doing on New Year's Eve? I would either be doing nothing or something bad. You know what I mean? I would either just stay at home. I don't want to go out. That's stupid. You'd be ordering prime pizza or going to a warehouse downtown. And there's no in between. There's no in between. You're absolutely right. I would definitely be staying home. I would find myself. blooming on the dance floor somewhere downtown at 5 a.m. I guess I like techno now. You would definitely be blooming, and then the petals would be off the bloom as soon as the sun rose. But, yeah, I'm looking forward to, let's see, I have a 10 o'clock with Hunter on New Year's Day. Jesus. I'm crossing my fingers that I'm hitting the pillow by two, latest, which I think is reasonable. Okay, that's pretty good. I think that's reasonable. I told you I've budgeted $200 for valet services. Just to be safe. Are you going to be okay if you don't hit that 200 mark? Or are we going to spiral? Do we have any coping mechanisms in place? I'll be stopping at the 7-Eleven for a box of Cheez-Its on the way home. We'll round it out. If I have a fiver left over. If I have it over-tipped. Not that Valet is so expensive. I don't think they over-price or gouge on New Year's. But it's more just like... we have multiple stops and shit. So I feel like it's going to get complicated. And I'm, I'm very happy with my role as designated driver. It feels like my calling. I couldn't be happier about it myself, but you know, it's, you know, I don't mind new year's Eve Ubering. Like usually as long as you get a black car, of course, you got a spring for that. And then everyone,

The drivers every year are always just in a nice mood as long as you're not an asshole. If you get into the car and say, hello, thank you, and close the door and don't drink or vomit or eat Del Taco, they're like, hello, thank you so much. I hope you're having a good night. It's one of their busiest nights. It's got to be one of their big moneymakers. It is, but it's also at what cost for these poor, innocent souls who have to deal with the worst at their worst. Yeah, drunk people do suck. I couldn't agree more. Drunk people suck. Also, mean people suck. Mean people suck. Maybe worse. All right. We do have a guest today. And as a New Year's, a 2025 gift to you, we're bringing back a close friend of the show. Is this three times? Is she a four-timer? I think it is. Three-timer. I guess she'll know. Three-timer. She'll pretend that she doesn't know. Yeah, she knows. But she'll know. We sent her a jacket, which was nice. So hopefully she's wearing her roots bomber. But yeah, Bryn Walner. When did this become a Canadian podcast, by the way? Bryn Walner. It's always been a Canadian podcast, sweetheart. Bryn Walner, one of our close friends and fan favorites. You know her fabulous watch. brand dime piece uh you follow her on instagram she's the matriarch of the watch yeah vertical yeah she's the is it a vertical are we calling it the only watch the only watch vertical owner that doesn't wear supreme at least occasionally i think i think she's somehow you know i'm sure she has in the past because she's obviously in a long-term relationship with a well-known skateboard photographer so she's close to the four wheels um but uh i can't wait to ask her about wheel size trends for 2025 are we going are we finally going to go back small again bro i had to get fucking i had to get riser pads bro i like to cruise at a 56 i like it's going to be rodney mullen steez in 2025 i feel it oh you want bearing you want the bearing condoms on for some pressure flips you already know let's go to the east village and talk to brand this episode of how long gone is brought to you by squarespace

Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking... Something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled.

Over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Should I go inside? Does it sound bad? It doesn't sound bad, but it sounds like the connection could be a little bit better. All right, let me go inside. If you're able to hop on your Wi-Fi, I think it would be better. Next to the Wi-Fi. How are you guys doing? You're sitting on the 5G tower on your roof right now. Bitch, I am Wi-Fi. What do you mean? I'm uncomfortable because I thought this would be better.

What headphones are you wearing? Beats? Beats by Bryn. It is my AirPod. I'm wearing my AirPod. I didn't know. Is it better now? Yeah, it's better. So Bryn, you're not a wired it girl. I've tried to wire. I got the wired ones that Chris is wearing right now a couple months ago, but it's still, I don't know. I can't do it. Can you help me? I use them to podcast because of the Bluetooth situation, but using them on the phone, I hate AirPod. AirPod Max has changed my life. It's the best product they make. Regular AirPods just suck. I hate them, but I can't wire in public either. I want to. I'm with you, Jason. Brynn, yeah, you do seem like a wire. I'm actually not a wire. Are you wearing a wire right now, bitch? She's a rat. I am not a wiry egg girl. I need to multitask. I can't multitask with a wire. That's actually, that's true. So you're texting and driving and walking and you can't do that all with wires. I think a big part of it was like, you're at the gym, Chris. Yeah. And if you have a wire. Your phone has to be in your pocket the whole time. If I'm in my house, I put the phone in the middle of the room, AirPods in, I'm in this room, I'm outside, I'm inside, I'm boom, I'm moving around. I'm taking calls. I don't have to worry about your phone in your pocket. I'm taking calls. I'm doing 25 sit-ups every hour. I don't have time for wires is the problem. Are we recording? Oh, yeah, of course. We're always recording. You guys just go into it live. Yeah, because we do an intro, so we're warmed up, and the guest needs to get down or lay down. You know what I mean? It's up to you. Did you have a coffee before this, or are you coming in uncaffeinated, Brynn? I actually took a cold shower. You did a pre-pod plunge? PPP?

I did a PPP and I also did some yoga. I was getting my Lily Rose Depp Nosferatu bridge on. Okay. Okay. Wow. Okay. No spoilers. I haven't seen it yet. She does yoga in Nosferatu. Hold on. You're saying that Lily Rose Depp does a bridge in Nosferatu and I haven't seen that yet. I haven't seen a clip. Yeah. Can you please bridge the gap between Lily Rose Depp Nosferatu and you doing yoga? Yeah. This is a stretch. I see it. The choreo is unparalleled. What is this, a musical? Wait, the Dracula? Are you sure we're talking about Nosferatu and we're not talking about I'm Just a Freak yet? Bitch, I saw it on Christmas Day. I went to the movie theater. What song do they dance to in Nosferatu? It's more of a... Jai Ho! Is it Jai Ho? Opa Gangnam Style. This sounds like a different movie than what the trailers led me to believe. Hold on, is Nostra Fudamus, is it about Dracula? I didn't even know that. Put some respect on the name Nosferatu. Nosferatu sounds like a fucking role-playing game on a computer for a nerd. Chris, that's like asking, wait a minute, does John Lennon have anything to do with the Beatles? It's like, bro, know your fucking history. Sorry, bro. I don't like nerd shit. This sounds like Harry Potter to me is what it's starting to sound like. It started in 1922 in Germany. German expressionist cinema. As soon as you said Germany, he's like, I'm back. No, he's in Germany. There was an expressionist cinematic movement, and I took a course on that in college my freshman year. It was kind of like a jerk-off class, but it actually was really interesting, and they made us watch Nosferatu, which is a silent film about vampires. Oh, wait, hold on. You're saying this shit is just based on a silent film that's already out? But it's also about Dracula, the book. Nosferatu is like the original, you know, it's like this amazing film about Dracula known as like the greatest of all time type shit. It's the goaded. All right, all right.

Both of y'all, y'all need to go back into the Criterion closet with this shit. I don't need to hear anything about this. This is not like obscure knowledge. This is like explaining to somebody that Wicked is based off of The Wizard of Oz, and you're like, say what? You think I knew that before the movie came out? He's like, bro, I'm just saying, I know I'm gay, but there's a line for me, and I don't know nothing about Wicked. It seems like the line is monsters for you. I don't like monsters. I don't like Wicked. Alex was watching Wicked, and I could hear it, and I was just like, I can't believe this is a thing people watch. He was watching it at home on a Blu-ray? Yeah, no, not Blu-ray. We got a little secret. We put Jason on this week. You ever heard of... No. It's an illegal streaming service that you can see anything on. Breaking the law. Breaking the law. Bad boy style. We were at dinner a couple nights ago. Chris and Alex came over to the crib, and they were explaining it to me, and I pulled it up on my phone. I hit two buttons, and after 17 pop-up ads and my identity being stolen, I was literally streaming Nosferatu. Boom. Wow. The amount of pop-ups. We were trying to use it last night. I do have all new credit cards now. We were using it last night, and I was literally like, how many times do I have to close pop-up windows before it works? And she's like, you just keep hitting it until it works. It's like you just keep closing them until it's like a video game. It's like a video game. I close 15 windows. It's a real whack-a-mole situation. It's very whack-a-mole. It's very whack-a-mole. It's meant to weed out the week. Chris, the job is done when it's done, bitch. I learned that the hard way. So, Brynn, you went to the movies on Christmas Day. Yes, I did the most on Christmas Day because I was also in another state on Christmas Day. Were you in Joe Budden's New Jersey? Yeah. Hell yeah. I was in the home of the drones. Okay, so you were... Chris Christie. Were you drone hunting? Yeah. Like the Twista? Did you and Chris Christie go try to find a McDonald's that was open on Christmas Day? Take the law into my own hands. Make it these. Bring it over here, Rax the Shoddy. All right, where are they at? All right.

All right, so you went to New Jersey to build with your fam, and then what did you do on Christmas Day besides the movies? Did you hit Ruby Tuesdays or anything or Chili's? Well, you're not far off. It was the night before Christmas. And we go to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Edgewater, New Jersey every Christmas Eve. This honestly, this dead ass sounds like a plot line from the Joe Budden podcast. I'm so intrigued. All right, so you went to the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Christmas Eve with your dad, I assume. Yeah, my dad and my brother and my stepmom. Wow, stepmom reveal. Reddit just exploded. I can hear it happening right now. So your hot VC tech brother was in town. He was peeling off hundreds from his San Francisco bank. Who paid for dinner, though? Yoga Wagyu here? Yoga Wagyu? He's like, I'm more of an omakase man myself, but I will take the buttered steak on a 500 degree plate. Watch out. Okay, so you went to Ruth, Chris, and what is... What is Bryn's order at Roof Chris? Oh, Jason, we should go in Atlanta. It's a scene, as you can imagine, in Atlanta. I learned about it from Fabulous. Yeah, F-A-B-O-L-O. It is name-checked in a lot of rap songs. What did you have there besides the free bread, of course? I'm like, that's just free. Let me get another order. Say less. Say less. I actually... plot twist. I don't get steak at Ruth's Chris. Hold the fuck on. What do you get? Are you like me? Go to a steakhouse and get fish? Let me pick my jaw up off the floor. I'm like, let me just get the potatoes au gratin and the cream spinach, por favor. Two sides. That's it. Can you let me talk and listen to women? Women's stories matter. I get the chicken. I get the stuffed chicken. What's it stuffed with? You're going to... Hennessy? Chris, you're going to throw up, but I'm in my games era. I'm in my Lana Del Rey pre-Ozempic. I'm trying to pack on the LD. It's stuffed with cheese and herbs. Hold on. Okay, Brynn, are you actually trying to get your games on right now? Well, so far, so good.

I'm looking thick. Okay, hold on. So you're telling me that this chicken, so what they do is they take a chicken, they hollow out the innards, and replace... Chris, it's probably a chicken breast that they butterfly and then stuff with cheese. Oh, I was hoping they stuffed it like a turducken. Brin got the whole chicken. Bones, everything. Yeah. Okay, so there's no drumstick. What do you know about chicken poferkia? I don't know anything. I don't know anything about it. That's why I'm asking these stupid questions. All right. Now, was it, was it hitting? Did it, was it smacking? It wasn't smacking this time around. It's pretty hit or miss. With the chicken, we go like four times. Did you say it's pretty hood or miss? Hit, hit, hit, hit. Oh, I'm sorry. All right. Hit or miss. Because I kind of heard hood or miss as well. It is. No, I get Ruth's Chris with my dad like four times a year. It's our special occasion restaurant. Well, MJ Lenderman lyrics right here. Yes. First, let me hop out the motherfucking morning. I went to Ruth's Chris with my dad is some MJ Lenderman lyrics. Wait, who's MJ Lenderman? He's a musician that has great lyrics about kind of stuff like that, like regular life stuff. Oh, yeah. I'm more of a McGee girl. Yeah, you would be. Yeah, you and Perfectly Imperfect. How dare you transition this conversation? Don't bring up McGee here. So what does your dad get? He gets the big boy steak with the butter, I hope, like a man. Yeah, he gets the cowboy ribeye. And, I mean, it really does come out sizzling. It is a whole spectacle. So you're saying the tomahawk is sizzling upon arrival? Bone in. Yeah. The tomahawk is sizzling. So did you go as a family to Ruth Chris and then to the cinema?

It was the night before Christmas, let me remind you. Okay. Christmas Eve, we do the roof Chris, and then we all go home and we play a game called Codenames. We play Code Switch here on How Long Gone. Is it similar? Codenames. Is that when you do an Indian accent? How does it work? Yeah, what is this? I think it's like some Czechoslovakian. It's like a board game. It's kind of a new age board game that you get in the game section at Target. Wikipedia says Codenames is a 2015 party board game designed and published by the Czech Games Edition. Two teams compete by each having a spy master give one word clues that can point to multiple words on the board. Ooh, I would kill this one. Yeah. I have no idea what that means, but I would kill it. Jason, you would because you're a real wordsmith. Check me out on Grammarly. That sounds fun. Does it get super competitive? Have you had to punch anybody before or is it pretty? It does. It gets competitive. But who wins? I bet your dad wins. Well, so we do girls versus boys because you have to team up. That's pretty antiquated, but go ahead. Well, we're a conservative family. Hey, welcome to the resistance, sis. Do you call it Christmas in your house, Bryn? Is that what you're saying? We don't say happy holidays? We don't say happy holidays. We're going to make America say Merry Christmas again. That's right, goddammit. Yeah, I don't watch that Squid Game bullshit. No, no, no, no, no. Listen. I team up with my stepmother, who is double Ivy League educated. Damn, okay. That pulled twice. I love it. My man's got taste. Shit. Slow down. Yeah, so we kind of slay. Okay, so what are your focus areas? Because if she's double Ivy League educated, there must be some blind spots. Is she not really into?

pop culture like she can't name like who won American Idol in 2004 yeah it's less pop culture and they're like I'm leaning on like Greek mythology okay wow I would do bad at this game this is why I don't play games but no because you would be on my brother you would be on my brother's team and you would be like uh Vincent Chase okay the cards would be like Porsche and girl. Okay. Anyway. Who won after your Ruth Chris feast then? Who won, guys or girls? The guys won, but the guys, and if my dad's listening, I'm sorry. But there is a little cheating. Oh, so you're saying men cheat. That's what you're saying. You're saying men cheat. Wow. But that's it. Tell me something I don't know. You know what I mean? Oh. Oh, all right. So these men ain't shit. If you ask me, are you saying that? But if you lose, if you lose, does Santa still come or does he kind of skip your house? Santa still comes. He goes holly jolly down the chimney. Get the cookies and milk. What did you get for Christmas in New Jersey? Did you get a juicy sweatsuit? A little Prada bag? What did we get? I got a Porsche Carrera with a bow on top. No, you didn't. It's not Lex's time to remember. Slow down, Meadow Soprano. Happy Honda Day. What did you get for Christmas? Some Bath and Body Works? I did get a little bit of that. I got some sunscreen. My dad is really into like all natural projects. He's very like goopified. Really? Yeah. Dr. Brunners? Are we going to call him Dr. Brunners? I went there. Dr. Brunners. That's actually where my name comes from. Okay, so he – I got some non-toxic sunscreen. Okay. Is he cool about it or is it a little too far? No, no, no. I mean, I'm like, yeah, I could use that. Okay, okay. I feel like enlightened. So unlike us, like when I go to my parents' house, it's like we got Pert Plus in the showers. When you go back to New Jersey, it's looking like a fucking – it's looking like a C.O. Bigelow in there. No, no. I'm saying you look in the shower at Brin House.

It's a collection of rocks and moss that you're meant to rub on your body in a sustainable manner. I see, I see. Not even a loofah, just a smooth rock. Just loose powders from the earth. You have the Pert Plus 2 and 1 and the Black House? No, you know I bought Aesop for my bathroom. Come on now. No. I love an Aesop shampoo and conditioner. I thought you needed hair to shampoo. Oh, ha, ha, ha. Funny, funny, funny. Wow. I went there, too. I love shampooing, and you know I'm a clean cat. Sorry, Gary. You know I'm a clean cat. My dad don't shampoo. My dad had shampooed in a decade at least. Clean cat. So your dad's into natural. So does he gift you like new natural skincare products that you haven't even heard of? Is he like that advanced? Yeah. He's kind of on the cutting edge. I'm trying to. He also bought me something. He comes down the steps. You ain't got these at Sephora, bitch. Yeah. We don't go. We got this a clean market. He's like, is that a paraben? Not in my house. I'm trying to remember. Better get that paraben out of my house. I can smell it on you. I can smell it on you when you walked in. Go take a shower. It kind of do be like that. These plastics are too micro. So is he scared of the unnatural ingredients or is he just woke? No, I think it's just he is. very wary of... I mean, and he has a point. All those chemicals. Does he eat mega clean too? Yeah, he's a thick god. I feel like Chris, he's yearning like... turn into him when you're in your 60s. Well, if I would have been a lawyer, you know, I could do that. But unfortunately, I'm going to have to work until I die in my pathetic fields. So I'm not going to have as much time to research the natural skin care. But now that I know this. In our pathetic fields. Now that I know this. Boiling away at the podcast factory. I want to send your dad some margin skin care. This is a good. We're going to lace your dad. We're going to get. Yeah, put him on the seating list. Has he thought about starting a TikTok? How many followers does he have?

He's like, you guys, you don't even know. Here are my 10 top new sunscreens for 2024. It would be so cool, actually. Alex follows this older Asian influencer woman who's beautiful, and she makes her husband participate sometimes, and it's pretty funny. They're doing push-ups together, and they're 80 years old. Wow, that could be you, but you're playing. That's 100%. It's cool. I think it's a nice – like when you're older, nothing's embarrassing anymore. Everything's embarrassing. Everything's embarrassing. So Christmas Eve, you do that, and then Christmas Day, you hit the theater. Who's in the crew at the theater? So Christmas Day, we open the presents in the morning under the tree like God intended. That's right. And then I come back home from Hoboken to Manhattan. Okay. Manhattan. It's beautiful here, by the way. It's like completely empty. Not a creature with stirring, not even a mouse. And we come back and watch a little bit of the Lakers game. And then my brother comes over and then we go down to see Nosferatu. at the Battery Park Regal Cinema, which is my favorite theater. Yeah, that's great. That's for the heads. That's for the heads. Because it's got the mall, so you can go get a Dos Toros burrito. I'm sorry, Regal Cinema is for the heads? Well, no, the Battery Park, it's just kind of out of the way, but it's connected to a mall. It's where the J.Crew office is, so it's connected to a mall. So you can get some Nike dry fit socks. You can get a burrito. You can get... Tory Burch, everything you need, and see a movie. Okay. When you say heads, you mean middle America, sloppy, slopas. Yeah. You might be hitting those Toros, you know, gains, but I'm over at untuck it. Oh, yeah, because it's gain season. You're trying to get into a thickum status. I can't tuck my shirt in. I'm too thick. All this fupa, I can't tuck shit. I'm too thick. I'm too thick.

Thank you. By the way, can I get a jumbo bucket of popcorn free refill? All right. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated, but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer. And quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Hi Talk House Network listeners, it's your old friend Nels Klein from Wilco here. Wilco is touring this summer and we'd love to see you somewhere on the road. We're playing shows this June and July in Rochester Hills, Michigan, Chautauqua, New York, Lafayette, New York, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Vienna, Virginia, Forest Hills, New York, Portland, Maine, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Memphis, Tennessee, LaGrange, Georgia, Charleston,

South Carolina, Virginia Beach, Virginia, Wheeling, West Virginia, and Columbus, Ohio. Plus, there are even more dates, some with Willie Nelson that I didn't even mention here. So please go to wilkoworld.net to see the full list of dates. We'll see you on the road this summer. Discover the spectacular contrasts of rural and urban spaces in this adventure of driving in the open world. Explore the various universes and beautiful landscapes at the wheel of more than 550 cars. Play at the premium edition of Forza Horizon 6 on Xbox PC. The Japan is waiting. People, people, the shit people do at the movies, like I hate eating popcorn at the movies because it gets grease on my fingers and I have to go wash my hands immediately. Bring a wipe. Bring a wipe. Nah, I don't bring wipe. People who wipe stuff, people who are still wiping down surfaces on airplanes, you need to get a fucking wipe. You're a fucking... Slow down. Wipe me down. That is the freakiest dork shit. Would you rather me pull out a little aloe vera natural tea tree oil wipe, wipe the fingers, boom. I'm still littering on the ground, don't worry. Or do I do a baby girl style finger suck in the movie theater? As if I just enjoyed a roof, Chris. No, I hate finger licking and I hate wipes. The only thing you can do as a man is wash your hands. Imagine a man using a wipe. Like, chill, bro. Whatever. Bro, I wipe. Brent, if you're on a date with a fella and you put M&Ms in popcorn, he pulls out his greasy little paw. It's got chocolate and butter all over it. He pulls out a gay little wipe from Whole Foods? No, you can pull out the wipe. You have to wait until you've hit to pull out the wipe. Pre-hit, a man's got to wipe it on his sock and keep it pushing. Pre-hit. I just don't think...

The fact they still give out the alcohol swabs when you board the plane and you see these mouth breathers wipe down. I'm like, that ain't going to fix anything. If you're going to get sick on a plane, you're not going to prevent that by wiping down the tray table with alcohol once. It is already written. Yeah, it doesn't do anything. You're on a plane with 300 people. They all stink. You're in trouble. Doesn't alcohol kill germs and bacteria, though? Yeah, but there's no way that is preventing illness, which is what people think it's doing. Besides, you already have the HEPA filter. Exactly. You're protected. Thank you, Brent. I thought HEPA was enough. I don't know why I went spine filter. I don't either. I don't either. I don't think it's white. So being back in the city, I've never been in the city on Christmas. Are you saying it's a majestic and beautiful place to be because it's emptied out except for the tourists clogging the M&M store? Yeah, that's literally what it is. It's all tourists. I feel like a townie. Is shit open? Yeah, it's open, but all your favorite restaurants are empty, so you get the whole place to yourself. I'm not talking about going to get some nasty-ass pierogies and shit. I'm talking about real food. No, well, pierogies, the Selka is the one restaurant that still has a line around the corner. I'm giving you the East Village scene report. Nasty-ass cabbage-ass restaurant. Okay. Cabbage is good. Their borscht is – they have a solid borscht. Don't be a hater. No, that's one of New York's most overrated restaurants. For sure. Come for the borscht, leave. That's it. You're in little Ukraine. Do as the Ukrainians do. So you went to Katz's and waited two and a half hours for a pastrami? That's what you did? Salty too. Send a salami to the boy in the army. Exactly. That line before Christmas was the craziest I've ever seen it. It wrapped around the block. It's crazy. I mean, TikTok. Are those sandwiches good? Can you guys be honest with me? I've never had one. It looks too thick. No offense. I don't think I'm swine. Who's offended by that? That was a joke. I think Katz's is, yeah, the sandwich is good. It's a pastrami sandwich. You know, you can't really go wrong with yummy bread, cheese, and meat. It's all there. But it's a little, some people say it's a little too fatty, a little too sloppy in comparison to a Langer's pastrami sandwich, which is a little more reined in and realistic. Yeah. The last time I was at Katz's was the Uncut Gems after party. Yeah, I was there with you.

Yeah, take me back. Yeah, take me back when people were thirsting over the Safdie brothers. Oh, my God. Chris, what did you think of that movie, Chris? Uncut Gems? I liked it. We saw it in the theater, so it was pretty fun, actually. It was. The soundtrack is so good, it needs to be kind of loud. That was fun to see it like that. I liked that. I mean, I'm not going to watch it again, but it was good. Oh, I really feel like we're in time traveling right now. I didn't wear an Alara hat, if that's what you're asking. Okay, well, I guess speaking of that, I did want to get into some 2025 predictions. Okay. Since it is the last pod of the year, is that okay with all y'all? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. What choice do I have? You're the leader here. I'm not the leader here, Chris. You can ask whatever you want. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. I love to get into 2025. Brynn, what do you have, Jason? Okay, well, I just wrote some things down in the last hour. I did a watch-specific one. GQ magazine did like a little prediction thing. And one of the things they said was they said that 2024 was the year of small zesty watches. And I know that you're a watch gal, Bryn. Chris, I wanted to ask you up top, what does GQ mean by zesty? I had no comment. Bryn, go ahead. You can't pass. I don't know what Cam Wolf meant when he said zesty, but you know, I would say, well, in my opinion, zesty is a word that appeared in [redacted address] to say something is gay when you're too gay to call something gay, gay. It is a little, I guess when I think zesty, I think colorful, which watches most often are not, unless they're very ugly bust downs. But Brynn, do you think men should wear these tiny little... Or do you think we should upgrade? We should go back to Panerai Breitling size. Well, I feel semi-responsible for helping make this trend mainstream. Okay, big dick swinging. I didn't know you could be responsible. Okay, tell us more. I know exactly what he means by dusty. The watch world is so insular. And I think he means with a little extra, maybe some, not bust down, but a tasteful factory set diamond or maybe a...

Alligator green strap. Right. The strap is like a weird statement color kind of thing. Yeah. Like a Tyler, the creator, bad bony kind of way. This is the general rule like most things. If you're famous and you're on a stage, what you wear, you're playing by different rules than a civilian. And people forget that, I think, sometimes. Like Tyler, the creator looks like that because he's very famous. Yeah. And that's okay. You cannot do anything like him and think it's going to work the same way. Well, you know. People are kind of, we have the Zesty watch at home kind of deal where they'll find their, maybe Kobe Arnold, friend of the pod. Yeah, of course. He sent me a photo of his friend who's a guy and he was wearing his grandmother's antique Rolex from like the 1940s, which I thought was pretty cool. Yeah, look, if there's a, I mean, that's the thing about all stuff like that. There's like a history to it. It's cool. So you're saying you have to have generational wealth? I'm not saying that. I'm saying that, like, otherwise it just feels like a trend. I mean, I remember when I saw, like, years ago, we were shooting a Tom Brown thing at the L.A. Coliseum, and he had on, like, a very small Cartier, and it obviously looked cool on him. But, like, that would look crazy on me. Well, that's not your style. But you don't even wear them, Chris. You don't like them. Famously. No, it's a nightmare. But, I mean, I would love for you to prescribe one for me. You know who's been talking to me about some watches? Oh, I do know. I do know. I've heard about it a lot in my household. It's happening in my household, Jason, and it's beyond my control. The call is coming from inside of the house. Exactly. I mean, yeah, but she wears watches. She has several. I gave her mine. Yeah. You've got the peanut special on. I forgot. Yeah, we wore the – when Brent and I went to the Rolex box at the U.S. Open, I made Alex wear it because I was like, I can't wear it. I had a resize for you. You've got to wear this tonight. You've got to wear this. Yeah. But I still think if I was to really come up on some money and I needed to waste it, I feel like a watch is a great place to put your money. Yeah. It's a nice tangible asset.

And depending on the model, it may or may not appreciate. But do I have to sell it with Mike Nouveau or Dizza? Who's going to give me the most money? When I'm ready to unload my AP, who's going to give me the most money? You're like, which crook? Who among us? Yeah, which one of these grease balls on TikTok is going to bend me over and stick it in? Who's going to let me use their pushers.io account to unload all of my watches? This is crazy. 11.6 is best I can do. Get out of here, you kidding. You want 18 for that? You know, I did one of those on TikTok. I pretended to sell my Rolex to the guys on Vukum. Oh, you did? Yeah, it was real reality TV hours. over your eyes that's like when i did when i did that tiktok that was what i did when i did that tiktok thing yeah i went there and it was all fake and people were like people thought i rolled up with 10 bands to buy a watch just like willy-nilly i'm like no i don't i think the only people that do that are like watch like wheelers and dealers regular people obviously aren't doing that yeah that it's all for the spectacle um well luckily you guys got paid for that right uh no No, that was a free opportunity. That was for the exposure. I did the DJ set for the exposure. The budget, we don't have as much budget. Some of my favorite currency over the years has been exposure. That's the BFM special. I've paid for several dinners and months of rent with exposure, and it's worked out great for me. Okay, well, moving on. Speaking of, oh, sorry, go ahead. Wait, hold on. Hold on. I painted Chris Black for exposure. I paid you for that, didn't I? No. Oh, my bad. You want me to Venmo you? No, I did it for exposure. Oh, okay. That painting of me hangs in my parents' bedroom. Chris, you put that on stories or grid? Stories or grid? No, that was stories, definitely. That was a while back. That was a while back. Price gone up, Bren. You know price gone up. Send a candle, Chris. Send a candle. You need to cut it. Price gone up. Got it.

I mean, your price has gone up, too. Everybody's price has gone up. That's the beauty of watching the growth, you know? Gone effect. Gains mindset. Yeah. I mean, we don't all get to fly to Switzerland once a month, first class, but we're trying. We're fine, first class. Yeah. Okay. But, Chris, your wife should get a watch, and you should definitely talk to her. Okay. I mean, trust me, I've heard about it a lot in the last two weeks. Because like most people, I mean, this is how I am too. Once I want something, it's like I'm hyper-focused on it until I get it. Yeah, it's manifest. But usually for me, it's a backyard bowl. It's not a $6,000 investment. Well, we all have our price. Anyway. When I see something I want, I take it. And I'm referring only to parking spots, and that's where it is. Do you think – Brynn, do you think men should – should wear a regular-sized watch? Do you think all this stuff is crazy? Well, is it gay to wear a watch? I mean, the answer is yes. Chris, I think that it depends on what your definition of a regular... sized watches. You can't really... Well, to me, Bryn, and tell me if I'm wrong, but like a GMT or a Submariner, that to me, that is like a man's watch. Yeah. Like the normal ass. What am I, The Rock? I can't wear a watch like that. It's not oversized. It's not small. It's just right. Am I wrong to assume that? Well, everything exists on a spectrum. Thank you. I know. I know you have autism, but we don't have to talk about that right now. In the 1950s, 60s, like... A watch that size would have been considered massive. So that's why everybody was wearing like Cartier pinks. So that style of watch wearing was coming back around. But, you know, the Y2K thing really took the oversize and put them on the map. So I don't know. I feel like the small watch thing, it is getting a little blown out of proportion. Like GQ's best dressed man of the year, Paul Mescal, with his tiny shorts and his...

He was wearing, like, some comically small watches on the red carpet. And I'm like, okay, maybe it's getting a little out of hand. You shouldn't be able to easily swallow your watch. Yeah. When the cops come because they know you stole it, you shouldn't be able to swallow it. The microchip. Yeah. I mean, Paul Mezcal, people really were, because he just turned 28, and people were like, damn, we need to get this guy some retinol. Because he does look. He does look older. That's no shots. He's Irish, right? Yeah. Those are my people. I feel like we don't age like a fine wine. No matter how famous you are and how much money you have, aging is not the thing. He's an Irish do-crack. Once you go Irish. No, he should talk to my dad about a new skin care. Once you go Irish, you call the police and file a restraining order. Oh, Lord, the luck of the Irish. The luck of the Irish. Okay, so speaking of big face rollies and living lavishly smashing out, do you think 2025 will finally be the year where the quote unquote roaring 20s return? People have been talking about. The Roaring Twenties happening again. It hasn't felt very roary in the last five years of this decade. Do you think we're entering a roaring zone? Are you asking me? I'm asking anyone. It's an open convent. Well, okay. I was watching the MTV stream from 1999 to 2000 of their New Year's Eve coverage. Okay. Does this make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was watching it on YouTube. Very Chris Black-coded? Yeah. It was a very, there was a lot of abandonment. Like, people were very nihilistic because they thought the world was going to end in 2000. And it was just so irreverent and so crazy. And I felt like watching it, I was like, this does not exist anymore. This is just kind of like on the hinge.

Not, like, unhinged in, like, the Gen Z, like, brat way. Yeah, like, real, actual. Yeah, and that was also the 1999, it was Woodstock 99, where, like, shit went so crazy. And I just feel like that kind of chaos is not, it's just not possible right now. Right. Because of social media. So we're not outside, we're inside. Yeah, we're inside and we're seeing a lot of, you know, like, take baby girl, which I haven't seen, but that kind of, like, over-sexualized, kind of just, like, over-the-top kind of expression of sexuality or whatever it is that we see in culture where it's, like, so, like, far left. I feel like that's so forced right now. And there's nothing, like, organic about it. And for there to be true Roaring 20s vibes, it needs to be, like... Coming from like a very natural source. And I just don't think that we're capable of that right now. I am with that. I guess the original war in 20s, like post war, everyone is happy again kind of thing. And we're sort of. We are pre-war and mid-war. We are not post-war. You know what I mean? I agree. No, you're absolutely right. I mean, I think people are partying more, but I think that's just like how the cookie crumbles. I don't think it's like that debaucherous. The pendulum is just swinging? Yeah, I just don't think it's that. I don't think people are going that crazy because you're right. Like 99-2000, it was literally like I might not be here tomorrow and the computer not going to work and the bank not going to work. So fuck it. You know what I mean? Whereas now it's like my car is pushed to start and my ketamine is designer. And it's like nothing bad. What's the worst that could happen? I have to take an Uber black home. My cat sitter is bi. Yeah, exactly. My Lambo is blue. Yeah, it just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. You mean to tell me my task rabbit is LGBTQ? I've never had an LGBTQ+. TaskRabbit, but I'm going to request one next time because I love the TaskRabbit service. Actually, Joe Budden was just talking about when you're hiring a TaskRabbit and if you're one of the fellas and like it's Christmas and you ordered a bunch of stuff for your kid and you got to assemble it and you hire the TaskRabbit to do it and they were saying like, I always hire a female TaskRabbit and they're like...

Don't you care if they're going to build it the wrong way? And they're like, nope. I ain't having no male TaskRabbit. I ain't having no male TaskRabbit come build my kid's swing set. That's crazy. In my house. Not in my house. Take your bitch. I'm a male masseuse. I only get male. I own a male masseuse only. I do not want a female masseuse. Light touch. You need the hand strength. I mean, I did get fucked up in Toronto by a female masseuse. But I didn't know that. With my woe. I didn't know anything about what I was getting into because I was in a foreign land. Chris was cleaning up his fascia with his woes. Getting out the knots with my woes. Yeah, I mean, it's tough up there. It's tough up there. Okay. Bren, earlier today, I texted something to Chris. It was just a sentence I wrote down, but I just wanted to talk about it as a 2025 subject. I said, Straight men will learn from everyone's mistakes but their own. Will 2025 be the year of the straight men? Are the straights going to take the streets back in 2025? The Chet Hanks white boy summer? This is more than that. Maybe. This is bigger than rap. Tell me more. Tell me more. It's been tough for us. We've been fucking up for a long time. Everyone hates us. You know, Harvey, Harvey, Jeffrey. We could go on. We could go on. We had a tough couple years. We are in the targets. We're in the sides. We are the punching bag being punched. At some point, is there going to be a cis male uprising where we take the streets back? I can't tell if you're fucking with me. I'm not. Well, I think there's going to be some January 6th energy, which is coming up. I think Trump getting reelected is indicative of, yes, a straight way. Hey, don't turn off. I'm going to turn off my location sharing on January 6th, Brad, just so you know. Don't even be looking. Don't even look where I'm at. Don't worry about me. I don't even know how to spell Tito Burrow. Don't worry about me. Do not worry about me. Is that Chris Black in a ceremonial head draft? You know I love D.C. I got heads down there. I got to go tap. I'll take the Acela down. It's nothing for me to tap in.

Nothing to tap into DC. I don't have a gun. I don't need a gun. I'm watching the news. Is that guy wearing a Noah jumper? Yeah, that's what we should call this podcast. Noah jumper. Noah jumpers. Noah jumper is really fucking funny, Jason. I saw a clip. I saw a clip today of no jumper, actually, because, you know, are you familiar with whack 100, Jason? A little bit. Yeah. Okay, so I guess there was some beef on the No Jumper podcast, and some guys, some ops came and just beat the shit out of the No Jumper. Not Adam, but the other guys that are on the podcast in the parking lot. And there was video of them getting pistol whipped. The podcasting is scary, Bryn. I see what you got out of the game. Yeah. It's so vulnerable. Oh, my God. Can you imagine if Jason got wetted up outside the Ralphs in Glendale? No, don't kill yourself. You're so sexy. I do the wedding. I'm the weta. I'm the weta. Well, I guess that's a good transition into my next. I'm the weta. I'm the spitter. Okay. Well, that's a good transition. 2025. I'm calling it Mr. Beast is going to kill someone. Oh, wow. What do you say? Accidentally or on purpose? Nobody knows. He'll try to frame it as an accident, but either he's going to kill someone or he's already killed someone and it will come to light in 2025. I like this. I like this from you. I like this. I like this from you. I feel like that's wrong. I like it when I say something to Brennan. All she can do is go. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Well, Bren's a big... Bren loves Mr. Beast and she's a fan. What is the name of Mr. Beast's stand-um group? The Beastie Boys. It is only men. That's for fucking sure. So Beastie Boys would make sense. If that guy were standing in front of me, I would not know who it is. Well, that's his whole... I think that's a big part of his appeal is that he looks like a fucking thumb. Moving on to somebody a little more.

In our strike zone, it's been quiet. No strike zone. Okay. Okay, Srim Life 2 in stores now. What do you think is going to happen to friend of the show, Jonah Hill? He's been quiet the last year. Is he going to pop up and splash out in 2025? I think he's going to. I bet he has a movie that comes out that redeems him because he's such a great actor. And if he would just get back to acting instead of surfing, you know, we would be better off. Surfing is the worst thing that can happen to someone. It really is. It takes you out of yours. It sucks up so much time. I don't care if you live in Malibu. It sucks up so much time. You've got to have the wetsuit. You've got to have the van. It's a lot of work and it's a lot of time. It's a schlep. If some of our greatest creatives would move into other forms of self-expression, I think that would help us. I think that would help the film and television. Some of our greatest creatives have to go to bed at 6.45 p.m. every day because of their need to surf. People, when I talk to people about surfing and they tell me what goes into it, I'm just like, this is insane. I'm sure it brings you great joy. Ian, I know you're listening to this and I'm happy. Bro, getting pitted is more insane. I just don't. Because Bren likes skateboarding is different. Obviously, Bren, that's a big part of your life. So you can understand that. Yeah, I go to the Tompkins skate park with the peanut butter jelly, the crust off. lunchbox to my hungry man and he says they're skating um yeah it's not like surfing it's not like surfing where you have to sit on the beach and watch and watch pain happen because i feel like surfing also surfing's a lot of waiting around you know what i mean yeah well so you think that's surfing lessons surfing is bad for others but i think it's good for for you no i think the soul i think surfing is i think i'm a soul surfer already um and i think that's kind of how i approach life in general no i think the chrome browser doesn't count chris oh okay okay well

That does change things. Safari surfer. I think surfing is a beautiful sport that takes great courage. This is no joke. It probably is very healing to the soul, but I think there's a lot of effort required to get up at [redacted address] an hour and have to put on a skin-tight suit to stay warm, and you might not catch a wave, depending on how Mother Nature is feeling. And I'm horny. I mean, yeah. Maybe, girl. Yeah. I've only been surfing once, so I don't know. I just don't know. Where'd you go? Costa Rica? No, I went in Hawaii, and my uncle actually worked at a... He was a surf instructor. Hot. Yeah. I bet he doesn't have a wife, does he? No wife zone. He's in the no wife zone. So you're saying there's a chance. He's eating the fucking spam sandwiches. He ain't got no chicks around. Spam Musubi from 7-Eleven tastes different when you don't have a bitch in your ear telling you it's nasty. Am I right, Hawaiians? I want poke, babe. Come on. Locals only, Holly. Yeah. You guys, wait. I just realized something. Sorry. I'll be eight years sober on New Year's Day tomorrow. Well, look, congratulations. Round of applause. Thank you. Baby, make that ass clap. All right. Eight years is a long time. How much better is your life? Because eight years ago, you were stumbling through Hollywood. Eight years ago, I had moved to New York, but I was visiting L.A. trying to chase the... The perfect wave, the endless summer. Okay, so you had your Steve Madden's on and you were stomping down Sunset Boulevard. My Steve Madden's. You had your Aldo's on and you said, it's time to get busy. I had my Allbirds on. My No Bull. I want you showing up to the crib wearing nothing but your Allbirds, shoddy. Your brother's definitely said that to a chick before in San Francisco.

That's real talk. No, you said, leave the birds on. Leave the birds on. She got the same shoes as my wife, but she bought them at all birds. So you were still coming back to L.A. because you weren't ready to leave yet. Yeah, I was like in denial. That night, what was December 31st, 2016? It was a real the shards night, if you will. Okay. Big house party in the flats of Beverly Hills and Debbie Schaefer's house. Yeah. But no more. No more. My life has improved. What did you do that night at the party? What kind of drugs did we ingest? Your favorite. Well, the best party drug. Cocaine. Cocaine. Yeah, that is the best. And shout out to everybody who's doing cocaine tonight. We're here for you. Make sure you test that shit. No Fent. You know what I'm saying? No Fent. No Fent zone. Yeah, no Fent zone. Yeah. I'm so glad we didn't have to deal with that. I know. We were joking the other night about how much... I mean, I've just done coke with people I don't even know. You know, in the back of a car, off the back of a toilet. I had no idea. It did not matter at all. And I think that that is definitely... a, a ship that has sailed. Yeah. I don't think that's happening anymore unless it's on the streets. And that's why we can't have the Roi Antonia thought. That's true. No, that, that is a bit that actually, I agree with you. I think people are, I think doing drugs now is looking at a PDF and using signal to get it delivered and it's safe and sanitized, which is good. But it does change the experience. Whenever I'm going to buy Molly tonight, and there's a little thing in the bottom where you can buy the drug dealer a round of beers, and I'm like, what the hell? No, there's not. I'm already paying you so much money. It was a joke. But I wouldn't be surprised. Or if it's like in L.A., it'd be like, donate to my favorite charity. Please. If you spend $500, it would behoove you to donate $100 to the wildfires. I think that's so important. It's affecting my family.

It's infecting my family. It's affecting my family. I only sell drugs because I want to, not because I need to. Well, congratulations, Bren. Congratulations. That's strong and brave of you. And we are proud and happy. That you are living a better life. Allegedly. Or that's what you tell your girlfriend. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you to Chris Black for making sobriety cool. I don't think. I wish I could say I was responsible for that. But I think it's a trend that is much larger than my pathetic existence. No. You help. Don't be humble. Humble king. That's what I love about you, Chris. Exactly. He's so humble. I didn't invent it. I perfected it. Chris makes this shit look easy. Actually, honestly, he does make it look easy compared to other people. Well, that's because when I'm. My palms are sweaty and I'm fiending. Actually, I told you this, Jason. It's really only happened once that I can remember where I was like, I need to be doing coke right now. Where were you? We were in London and George was DJing. George? George was DJing and we were in some weird little backstage room that was just dark and people were smoking. I was just like, this is... First of all, I'm about to have to listen to techno. I need some drugs. Second of all, I'm with the dare, for Christ's sake. The stage was set. I was like, you know what? I'm going to go stand out here. I went back into the main room. I rarely feel like that. Just being next to the dare, I'm like... I start scratching my neck. I know. I get it. I get it. It's partly because I want his Dior and partly because I want the Coke. I can't decide. I can't decide. I want to rub his Dior on my gums. You know what I mean, ladies? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Give me that tie, you little motherfucker. Give me that little tie. It's been so long. So how are you celebrating the new year tonight then? With Anderson and Andy, of course. Hell yeah. That's like us if we were rich. Great. No, that's going to be you. I was thinking about that this morning. Just give it some time. We'll be ringing in the new year with How Long Gone. How Long Gone Rockin' Eve. It just rolls off the tongue. It's going to be a silver fox and me ringing in the new year. Super sexy Ryan Seacrest took over for my bro RIP dick.

You know, and I'm just like, that should be us, bro. Ryan's Secret's got enough going on. It will be. It will be you. I don't want to spend my New Year's Eve that. I want to spend my New Year's Eve at a dope house party, not on TV. I would much. I don't care how much money they're making. Wait for the offer, though. Yeah, wait for the offer. Well, yeah, I'm sure the check would be medium compared to. Medium? Seacrest. But never forget that Seacrest is also a producer on the Kardashians. Ryan Seacrest is the executive producer on the Kardashians. Oh, my God. Yeah, well, that's my point. Them doing this is not going to make their year goal. You're like, oh, cool, here's another $17 million every month or whatever they make. But he's the guy that we trust to ring in the New Year with. Anderson and Andy. Not me. Anderson and Andy because they get drunk and you feel like they're flirting. Yeah. And it's a will they or won't they on New Year's situation. Andy's just trying so hard not to offend someone. Do you think they've hooked up? Probably. I feel like that's the gay way. It is the gay way. It is the gay way to fuck your homies, have sex with your homies. 20 years ago, one thing led to another. I feel like their vibe is old married couple, which you can't really achieve unless you've had intercourse at least once. Yeah. So you're staying home and watching, you're literally, that's what you're doing, ordering some Pad Thai and snuggling up with honey? No, I'm making a big plate of baked ziti. Oh, okay. Oh, hey, I'm eating over here. Get my Carmela Soprano. Hey, I'm trying to get Gaines over here. I told you where my Gaines are. Is this a Bryn family recipe, or are you pulling out of the Alison Roman book? It is the Alison Roman. Let's go. Happy New Year to Alison Roman, our favorite chef. Happy New Year. She taught me how to cook. Like with her books or you took lessons? With her books. Teach me how to Dougie. Can you cook? I mean, I'm getting there. I didn't cook at all until I discovered Allison Roman. Real talk. Wow, that's actually powerful. That's cool. Yeah, it is. I didn't know the power of... I mean, I know the power of Roman because I'm terrified of her, but I also... I didn't know that she was really bringing people to the hot plate like that. Yeah, but we all know who was cooking the stew before the stew. Are you talking about DJ Them Jeans? I am. Okay. In the pot.

He'd be in the pot. He's been in the kitchen with the pot. I'll be in the kitchen with my baby, yeah. New Jersey's finest. Brynn, you're the only person. If there's one person left on the world listening to Fetty Wap, it is you, isn't it? Man, I feel for Fetty. Fetty got a rough. Free Fetty. That's all I'll say. Free Fetty. Did he get a raw deal? He committed some crimes. 1738. But he didn't. I mean, it ain't that bad. It wasn't. He didn't deserve. He didn't deserve that. If we if we could free Bobby Schmurter, we can free Fetty. Oh. What about Thugger? Yeah, we need to... Biden should have pardoned Fetty Wap. Because Fetty Wap had a... He had the streets rock it. Like, he had hits. Yeah, he did. Those were big-ass songs. Yeah, but he was... They were huge songs. He was convicted of trafficking 100 kilos of cocaine, heroin, fentanyl, and crack. Look! Jason! With conspiracy to distribute. Oh, my God. You know he was just a figurehead. He just took the fall because he was famous. You know he wasn't the foot soldier actually moving the weight. You know that. The fall guy. At least he's not trafficking women. Because it's always the most famous one who takes the fall. Yeah, it is. At least he's not trafficking women. It could be worse. Yeah. When you said trafficking, I held my breath a little bit. But then you said drugs, and I was like, oh. I was like, oh, I bet. All right, hell yeah. Brent, before we go, is this your third time? Oh, thank God it's only fentanyl. Is this your third time? Is this your third time on How Long Gone, or your fourth time? This is my cotienne. My fourth. For those of you who are not known, day 600 of their Duolingo lessons. Fourth timer club. We are going to send you a Letterman's jacket like SNL. You're our Kristen Wiig, so we've got to figure it out. We got to figure it out. We're going to get one made for you because four times, that might be the world record. Yeah, and you send me that, Jack, and I'll go straight to Buffalo Exchange. Don't waste the thread. Bitch! Put it on Depop at least. At least on Depop. You could have somebody on Grail. Somebody would buy it. All right. Happy New Year to all of our listeners. Thank you guys for spending another.

A year with how long gone. Bryn, thank you for joining us. We love you. And it's always a treat to chat. Follow Bryn at Dime Piece on Instagram. If you're in the market for a watch, you can DM her and she'll facilitate the trade, the deal. If you're looking for a sponsor, send her a DM. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But no, thank you for listening. Bryn, thank you for joining us. And have fun tonight. And save me a plate of the baked zini if you don't mind. Yes. Love you guys. . . . . . . . . . and your clients want security guarantee before engaging. That's precisely where Venta comes from. Venta comes from and automating the risk, the conformity and the trust clients within a single platform. If you prepare your SOC 2 or pilot a GRC program, Venta helps you to stay secure while accelerating your sales cycles. Follow the example of Conto and Pigment, reduce your audit of 82%. Lance you on Venta.com.