027. - Yassir Lester

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started.

Hello. What up, big dog? Oh, you know, just cruising. Not a whole lot, I guess. A big change for me is happening today. And my girlfriend, who I live with, is not in the house today. All day long. Oh, hell yeah. Jason out here got his dick swinging, boy. So now I could finally swing my dick around. Thank God. Damn. I guess we'll have to do this. I guess we'll have to do this edition of the podcast on FaceTime video. This is a too hot to handle situation. Well, I guess we have to launch Patreon now. Well, how does it feel? Are you feeling free? I mean, yeah, it's kind of weird because we have been living together and spending every day. together you know and there are we we we exercise healthy um alone time and like you know yeah she says jason get your ass out in the yard we need to dig some holes you're like yes ma'am quite the opposite quite the opposite tj takes the alone time more than he is instructed to to take he he starts it but he initiate he initiates the the quarantine from the quarantine i i make no I don't hide the fact that I need my alone time or else I go a little crazy. My girlfriend knows that and she respects it. Some people have a harder time asking for that than others. They'll feel guilty. They don't want to make the other person feel sad. They don't want to be around them. We know your heartless ass doesn't feel nothing. I grew up in the streets without a heart, man. Bitch, no you didn't. You grew up in Orange County with a loving mother and twin brother. Continue. That's true. I do have a very loving mother. But there's a little bit of heartless going on. That's all good. Look, as a fellow from the streets type of person, I understand where you're coming from. Speaking of that, I also found out that my girlfriend's mom has listened to this podcast.

Did she ask for my number? There was no commentary involving you. I did not talk to her about it firsthand. She just told me. You're receiving this information through KK? Yes, that is correct. My girlfriend said that she brought it up. And that was it? There was no like. good bad and different the the the feedback from her mom was like i i i get you know like i like jason he's a funny guy blah blah blah i think you know it's cool but i i i can't really comment on it either way because i have no idea what these people are talking about that's a very measured take from someone in her position i would be like It's a measure take or it could be just a very nice way of saying your podcast is trash. But, you know, my girlfriend's mom doesn't really listen to podcasts and she, you know, I don't think it's, you know, she's not like, well, you know, I subscribe to this, this and this and I'm not feeling your shit. I was into the earlier stuff, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's no Bill Burr, but it's okay. Well, I think that's nice of her to check out what you're doing and not flame you when she could. Yeah, I mean, I always had a weird thing with my mom listening to my podcast because when I did Tall Tales, I would be like, Mom, I do this podcast. Promise me you won't listen to it. Yeah, but it's like telling a kid not to do drugs. If you tell them not to do it, they're going to get rid of it. I know, I know. But then when I did the food podcast, I'd be like, do a food podcast now. Totally listen to it. Check it out. It'll be stuff that you already know about. On my general interest podcast, you're not going to... Unless my mom also wants to make fun of G-Eazy for an hour, it's not really going to be her demographic. Speaking of Gerald, Gerald's been in the news this week, bro. He's a damn homewrecker. He's piping the wrong pipe?

the wrong Gerald Gerald I wish I knew where the pipe went Gerald Gerald stole Ashley Benson from Cara Delevingne I mean can you is it stealing if you have a penis and the other person doesn't I mean I think it's yeah because they were still in a relationship and Cara Delevingne. Let's wait until our guest is on before we unwrap the way you just pronounced the word relationship, but continue. I just think it's an interesting, you know, I feel like they got stuck together in quarantine. We're like, all right, fuck it. Let's just bone, I guess. Cause like, we're going to be here. Do you think Ashley Benson was, was a real, a full certified lesbian person and has no interest in ding dongs? Or this was just like a little trying it on, a little test drive? I think Ashley Benson definitely wanted to get piped down by Gerald and was happy to. I mean, I think Cara Delevingne is probably one of the top Hollywood lesbians as far as fame goes. So for Ashley Benson in her middling career, it was probably a good move for her to get photographed with Cara Delevingne carrying that sex wedge into their house that time. That got a lot of attention. I remember that. the the swing yeah but but gerald i mean gerald's fucking famous and he's hot that's the problem i mean i don't i don't know i i think you either think he is hot or you really really are not attracted to gerald i think that the door only swings those two ways i would say that 75 of the the people that listen to this podcast would let gerald hit male or female who is the female equivalent of g easy like somebody who like Halsey, bro. Halsey. Because Halsey's kind of gross, but she's got a hot body. You know what I mean? Kind of gross. Well, I mean, Halsey seems to have talent. Halsey has hits. Halsey has slaps. Well, I mean, having a hit does not necessarily mean you have talent. I'm not really a fan of the creative output of Halsey, but you could tell that she has skills. She has talent.

And with G-Eazy, less, perhaps. I wouldn't go that far. But also, Halsey doesn't seem like a problematic person. Dudes are not like, don't go mess around with that Halsey chick. But I feel like if any girl in the world who's about to have sex with G-Eazy, all of her friends are like, I would not do that. Or like, I did. I had sex with G-Eazy as well, and this is why you shouldn't. I don't know who it could be. Gerald is very much Mr. Steal Your Girl, though. He's famous enough and good-looking enough where he can basically have whatever he wants, I think, in the room. Gerald likes the thrill of the hunt. Yes, I think Gerald. Which is a common trait for a white celeb swimming in non-white circles. Of course. And, I mean, he is truly a cancer on society. I don't want to get it twisted. But I do think that I see the appeal of him from a sexual standpoint. Not for me personally. I understand what you're saying. You could see why his iCal is full of pussy. Yeah, exactly. The schedule booked up, even in quarantine. I heard from a friend, a highly placed source, that there are multiple celebrities in Hollywood right now having women come over for Corsax and they're signing an NDA. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Do you know any names? No, I don't know any names, but I do think that it's probably every level. You know what I mean? Because it's too sensitive. Even if you're not that famous, you don't want to go out like that. So you're saying these might be people who normally would not set up an NDA, but because of the core ramifications of that getting out, then there's an increase in NDAs being signed before you... Yes, like this ain't DiCaprio. It ain't DiCaprio level, but if the cheeks are getting bust down, you're going to have a piece of paper to sign before. Which I think, you know, these are all just habits that have evolved during the core for the better. You know, where everyone's like, you know what? Maybe everyone should wear a mask when they're at the airport. Like that kind of stuff. Maybe everyone should get that NDA sign before you bust down these yeekies. It's just wise.

Excuse me, just real quick. Yeah, if you could just sign. Yeah, that'd be great. No, no, keep it on for now, but just sign this piece of paper and then the yeeks are going to get busted. Just sign this real quick, please. I mean, it's just responsible practices. I wanted to talk to you about a few of your tweets that I saw, Chris. You said that you were starting to... You're starting to hate the smell of Aesop because you're washing your hands so much. Is that a real thing? That's a real thing. I'm displaced, and that is what we have on deck here, which is better than your little bro-boy. method or what's that other shit brand? Meyers? Don't hate on Meyers, dog. Don't come from Meyers. No, get out of here with that little broke boy shit. I actually, for hand washing, I prefer the Malin and Getz cannabis a little bit more. I love the Malin and Getz cannabis. And it's half the price. I'm a Byredo Vetiver guy, but again, I'm displaced. Don't have access to that. But the Aesop smell is honestly, I think it's become too much. It's too ubiquitous. But also, it's better than broke boy shit you can get at the grocery store, which is all that's open now. It's an interesting place to be. It's an interesting time for us. And it's probably sold out online. No, I actually ordered deodorant from Aesop a month and a half ago. And it came quickly, actually. It was a very good experience for quarantine shopping. I know the Le Labo hand soap is always out of stock. The Hinoki is pretty good. I agree. Don't worry. I've got my eye on some other brands that have been at market but haven't reached that level of popularity yet. I will break one. Don't worry. It's my responsibility in 2020 to break a new hand soap. Is that it's your responsibility or that's like a dream of yours? I would say a little bit of both. I think I'm the man for the job and it's also something that I have thought about positively.

And then the other one we were talking about were the Ben and Jerry's Nike SB Dunk Low shoes. Those things look like absolute shit. They're so crazy. Who would wear those? It was making me think about our... are people really buying I mean I don't know like are people really buying it because they think it looks cool and they like it or is it just the rarity because I can kind of understand like if I remember what life was like in my mind in like 2007 when everyone was wearing like all over print shirts and new era hats that had a dollar sign embroidered on them cool in 2007 maybe like during the time that lmfao was popping dunks that's when dunks were cool dunks have not been cool in so long and they're coming back and i don't accept it like there's company garçon ones that are bad these are bad they're all bad i also don't accept it They're bad. I was there the first time. If you're there the first time, you're qualified to comment on the trend. That's my rule. Yeah, but also I think the people that are wearing these types of shoes now are not doing it because it's like an ironic fashion statement or they think it's funny. They're just like, these are going to make other dudes who drive Integra's think I am cool. That's all it is. They don't even know if they like the shoes. No, they definitely don't know if they like the shoes. I mean, it's also like, think about what this collaboration is. It's a collaboration between a ice cream company, a hippie ice cream company from what, Vermont? Like that's crazy. That doesn't need to exist. It does not need to exist, but there have been many more useless. No, of course. It's a legacy brand at this point, but still. It's a legacy brand for fatties, I agree. I think that if they want to do this, then more power to them. I'm just saying as one man who lived through the first dunk craze, they're trash. The fact that somebody over the age of 18 would buy those is also kind of insane. You know what I mean? It looks like they would be cool on your child, I guess. I know there are like...

Three 42-year-old guys listening to this right now who are like, oh, man, I need to get my life together. Because they are into those. And to you three bros, sorry. They like when John and Vinny's plays Kanye West. It's that kind of guy who would wear these. That's exactly who would wear these. They are. No, those are the Run the Jewels chatroom admin footwear. From the Jules Reddit thread admin. The official footwear of the Jules Reddit. I think our guest today, maybe there's a 14% chance that he's going to think these are popping because he is a kick man himself. And you have a history with him, correct? Yeah, Yasser Lester. He's a comedian, writer. wild on twitter very funny he always he always makes me chuckle with his ridiculous shit and he's done a few podcasts with me over the years tall tales back in the day always a always a funny guy he's a he's also an atlanta resident like born and raised so or at least raised so we have that in common and he's involved in my favorite new show black af uh i did my homework and i watched some black af as well Did you like it? Before he's on, you can tell me the truth. I did like it. I do have some thoughts. Okay, let's call him. Let's give him a buzz. All right. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools.

So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early, and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down.

the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. You didn't have to go that hard. Are you wearing a damn shower cap? Bro, it's a satin bonnet. Satin bonnet? You look like if Chef Boyardee was in the roots. But I'm cooking, no. What's up? Is that doing something for your hair, or is that strictly a look? Bro, it just keeps it soft. Wait, how come I can't see y'all? Because we don't do it that way, bro. This is... This audio only, bro. We're both bucket naked right now. Are you in your house? Where the fuck are you? Granny's house? I'm at my apartment. I don't know. I got to say, I love an old style. Here's the thing. I think maybe I don't know how to decorate. And because of that, I just decorate how I remember things being. floral curtains and like you know i think i kind of like it actually after you explained it to me i think i'll turn the corner i turn the corner really quickly that is no that is shocking it's a it's a phenomenon that i think is real and i think i used to have it until i started cohabitating with my girlfriends and they're like oh no oh no oh see opposite with us is my girl like

just doesn't care like truly like if i just use like old amazon boxes to like she'd be like dope so it's like it's really up to me that's incredible that's incredible that's a key here's the thing it's incredible for so many things like she's like truly the most like low-key like you know she's like a she's a tv writer too so it's like she, she's even more about it than I am. Cause I'm like, you know, a little bit like burn the system down. Who cares? Like all these people are garbage. And she's like, well, we still need to make money. I'm like, ah, yeah, I guess. Because of that, she said like the most, like her drive is so singular sometimes that I'm like, okay, well we still got to do the dishes. Well, yeah, I'm, I'm driven. I'm driven too, but we can't forget about, you know, the important stuff, the laundry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys are a few scripts away from having the live-in made, doing all that cleaning and shit, so you can focus 100% on these jokes. Well, here's the thing. Before all this, we'd get a cleaning lady every three weeks. Because it's stand-up and stuff. You're not home that much on top of working late. So we'd get a cleaning lady every three weeks just to pick it up. we weren't messing it up enough because we weren't here, you know, but now it's like being here. It's just like, I can just show you. Will it even let me flip the camera? This is the first time you've really lived here. What the fuck is going on? That's a new dog. And then that's snacks and that's vitamins and that's a shelf of things. And that's my. curling power blocks and that's fire i mean look i know you can't you guys can't you guys can't see this but he's showing us a floor that is just absolutely covered in shit all right y'all so is that do you have do you have mountain valley glass water though yeah dog big flex baby we love that you know

Barack had that in the White House. You're a hoarder with taste. I like it. A little bit. I'll say this. Back in the day, do you all know Gerard Carmichael at all? I'm familiar with his work. He was the first of my friends to really blow up and get money. I remember I went to his apartment. He was living at... There still is this big fancy... apartment complex, part of a shittier apartment complex called the Palazzo at Park La Brea. You're familiar with LA. Well aware. I think that's where the situation lived for a little while. That makes sense. Vanessa and Angela Simmons lived there. That's royalty right there. That's royalty right there. Elbows are royalty. I remember I went to his place and he was just drinking water out of this green glass bottle. And I was like, what are you doing? He was just like, it's the best water you'll ever have in your life. It's Bill Clinton's favorite water. And I was like, what? And so I had it and I swear to God, like the moment I had it, I was like, I got to get money. So some people try on the Gucci belt. Some people, you know, take a test drive in the Lambo. You just had some green water and you're like, I gotta get this bread. When water tastes different, you know what I'm saying? No, that really is a sign. No water tasted different for rich people. I was like, oh my God. So when we, you know, so when we moved in here, you know, I'll say that water is one of those things that, for whatever reason, I've always wanted the water machine. Then I was talking to Chelsea Peretti about it, actually. She was like, yo, I get Mountain Valley. I was just like, stop. They don't do home delivery. She was like, yes, they do. She hooked me up with the info. It's truly everything else in my life. I have a few gold chains and some sneakers. Other than that, the Mountain Valley is where people come over and they're like, oh, it's like that.

no mountain valley we used to we used to have that in my in an office of mine that i shared with my friend dana and it was like getting it up the stairs the guy looked like he wanted to kill us you know what i mean it was just it was it was like the ultimate flex to be like yeah yeah no just bring it up two flights bro yeah just yeah yeah just just no no i'm not gonna help you just come on up though come on that is so funny because here's the thing is our apartment is on our apartment's on the second floor though we're on the first floor of the apartment So he still has to come up a flight because we're just essentially above our carport. And he's got these hooks and the giant water bottles. I'm always like, I think seven's enough this month. I don't know. What do you think? Eight? He's just like, kill me. It's the desert heat, bro. I think we're going to need extra two. We're going to need extra two. We'll sit on them, but we'll get more next month. He gave me his number. This is so wild. He gave me his number and was like, just text me the morning of. I don't want to know in advance. He'll be like, I'm outside. I'm like, okay, four. You know what I mean? He's not about the extra work, which is so funny to me. What neighborhood do you live in? Dog, we're in West Hollywood, but we're thinking about moving it on up to the valley, like to a Burbank or so. Why would you do that? Are you a cast member of fucking Vanderpump Rules? Who are you trying to be? Yo, Burbank is on the rise, bro. I'm out here in Burbank as well. Well, here's the thing. A, I want to be able to have a house one day. And B, I think I've hit my noise pollution limit. I get that. We're old, dog. These damn kids out here are making too much racket? Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? I live, I mean it for real. I think I live, again, like, you know, remember Oakwood Apartments back in the day? That's where Disney put all their child stars. Yeah, I'm familiar with the lineage. I think where I live in West Hollywood is like, if...

Your SoundCloud hits, SoundCloud moves you to my neighborhood. And it's just like these wild ass kids with like face tattoos, literally just racing up and down my street out there sunroof of like a rented like S500. I'm like, what is like, I just can't like, I was like walking my dog. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not trying to hear kids see ghosts when I'm walking my dog. I get it. I really do. Truly, it's not an exaggeration. Right before y'all called, I was like, I may need to figure out somewhere else to record this. Because right outside, there was just a dude, not doing anything, just sitting in his 98 Mustang, just listening to pop smoke. You can't be having that much fun. It's impossible. No, it's not fun. That's not fun. That's just passing the time. Yeah, exactly. So it's just like, I got to get out of here. Here's the thing. and i tell my girl this all the time it's like i want to be the most dangerous person in my neighborhood like by far like i don't know you know what i'm saying like i want if the cops stop me like it's an l i'll take but like if i get racially profiled that's fine but the neighbors need to know the neighbors need to know because then they can be like oh he was he's no he's one of us you know what i'm saying like But I want to be racially profiled and then go into my quiet home and be like, could you believe the cops? That is the ultimate. That's the ultimate flex. I agree. Well, have you started looking in Valley Village and Burbank to just see what's on the market? Yeah, you know, we're on the Zillow. We're on the Redfin. One of our friends is a realtor. So like, yeah, we see. But here's the thing. kind of talked about it like on twitter for a second the other day but it's just like did a million dollars stop meaning a million dollars to people a million dollars is the minimum almost in any major city that matters it's the which is new york and la yeah there's only two cities sorry

No shots at our listeners because I would say most of them live in the middle of America. But if you only have a million dollars, you can get a decent house in Burbank or Glendale where I live, but you cannot get that in West Hollywood. Oh, I did come to your house in Glendale, right? That was in Atwater Village, which is a lot more expensive. But I don't live there anymore. I moved to Glendale. oh dang yeah but that's the thing is that like i it's like the idea that like i remember being a kid and someone would say a million dollars and it was truly like saying infinity like you know what i mean like it was such an insane concept and now people will straight up look you in the eye and be like man this place is only one seven and you're like i will commit suicide in front of you No, it's one seven and you got, you got to have cash. We don't do mortgages. You got to come in there. You got to come in there with either a checkbook or a Louis backpack. It's how you're feeling that day. I don't know how saucy you're feeling, but it's true though. It really is true. It's absolutely insane. A million dollars is minimum. And like, again, like, you know, it's like I want to, you know, like I, you know, I hope to one day do it. So that's why we're like looking now and you know. Again, there's also a global pandemic, so that feels crazy to be like, ah, finally settling in. Mortgage rates are at an all-time low. It's time to cop. I know. Well, here's the thing. I'm also low-key wondering. This is such a conversation for the three people talking, but it also feels like... Do I wait until this is over? Because for sure people are going to be bouncing from LA. But then someone made the point that a bunch of people from New York are going to move to LA. I already know people who went there and now are just staying. That's wild. It makes sense. They have family there or whatever. But they're like, yeah, we're going to come back and move. But we're just going to stay. Fuck it. It's going to happen eventually. Might as well do it now. Man. Yeah. Don't worry. Real ones like me are going to hold it down in the COVID capital.

You already know. I'll have my fucking face shield on. I'll be out there. What would get you to leave? Were you there for 9-11? That's a good question. First of all, I'm not even there right now. I'm in Montreal. Second of all... He took his ass to Canada on the first knees that happened in the world. I started – I had to get a tissue, and I just went straight to the airport. I got to go. I got to go. Oh, my God. I was not there for 9-11. I was too young for that. I was probably like – I think I would have been a senior in high school when 9-11 happened. I moved – I've been in New York 11 years. I was there for Sandy is probably the biggest thing I've been there for, which is pretty fucking crazy. That was nothing compared to 9-11 or this. Yeah. It's just like, I don't know, man. What am I going to do in L.A.? You guys are fucking boring. You know what I mean? There's nothing to do. Bro, every day is sandy in L.A., dog. This shit is fucking real life. I mean, the only thing that's good is the weather. All of my friends live there. Tennis courts, the food. Everything's better except culture. There's zero, and I don't work in Hollywood, and I don't know how I get a job. But OK, but see, that's the thing is that like and I think that is one of the problems with L.A. and the L.A. New York thing is that the people, the culture here, yes, is Hollywood. But like the culture creators refuse to create culture here because they say it's all New York. And it's like. But you can come here. There's a thriving art scene. You know what I'm saying? I make out the shows all the time. I'm not a foodie like that, but there's some amazing chefs out here. The biggest thing I'll say is that the bummer is that the city is so segmented, whereas in New York, you walk outside, you run into every single person. and 12 seconds. That's what I really thrive off of. I can't get in my Prius and drive to Burbank to hang out with you. That's my whole thing. I think after COVID happens, I think that the New York that you love is not going to be the same anymore. I think these New Yorkers are starting to hedge their bets and predict that and then come out to LA because that shit doesn't matter anymore and they might as well enjoy this great weather.

better restaurants in exchange for lack of culture because no one's going to leave the house anyway. Mr. Black, let me pitch you an idea real quick. You text me and Mr. Stewart. You say, it's going down today. Meet me at Century City Mall. We all centrally located. Meet at Century City Mall. We hit the food court. There's Massey's Mediterranean Grill. There's Chick-fil-A, Chipotle. There's rock house sliders. There's saffron Indians. There's everything you can want. And we haven't even hit Eataly to browse yet. We haven't hit Eataly. We haven't hit Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse. First of all, Del Frisco's is a fucking New York institution. Do not talk about Del Frisco's as an L.A. thing. But what I'm saying is you don't need to be in New York for it no more. You can have it. Really makes you think. Yeah, pull up and get a sweet green salad just like in New York. No problem. I mean, look, guys, I love L.A. more than probably you two, honestly. Maybe not, but I just think that I'm an East Coast guy. I feel like that's my true – even though I'm Southern, I feel like I really found myself when I became an East Coast media elite. I don't know if I could abandon that for just another white guy with a podcast and a Twitter account in Hollywood. Yeah, but you could turn that into your book. I could turn it into a book. Here's the thing. Those are just the loudest voices. You know what I'm saying? I don't know, Jason. You can speak for yourself. I feel like most of the times we donk on those people. You know what I'm saying? They're still dorks. They just happen to run the UCB Twitter account. You know what I'm saying? Good point. Or they happen to run your career at William Morris. yeah yeah yeah one of two options there's two jobs you could get either way they're dorks and they got the job from their parents or or or an uncle or something 100 but i will say this you know like because i love new york i mean that for real like from the bottom of my heart like did you ever live there yeah yeah so i lived there off and on for three years because of girls and then like some other jobs that i had and like i i'll say this like

because i you know i moved from georgia to la so when i got to la i was like wow the big city blah blah blah i'm like hollywood and stuff and then when i had to move to new york for work i was like oh this is the big city i had been like thinking of the whole time like there is like unless there's something wrong with you i feel like there is like an immediacy to new york that makes you feel like you've always belonged weirdly like i feel like some people talk about it like i said like people talk about it like it's isolating or people talk about it like, you know, like everyone is rude and very individualistic, but it's not, I never found that to be the case. I only had fun. The idea, like I don't really sleep. I would get up, I would just be sitting there at three in the morning and be like, I'm gonna go get a sandwich and you just go outside and get the best sandwich you've ever had. You know what I'm saying? So it's like stuff like that. Doing, doing Coke is cool. I didn't know that you did that much Coke. That's cool. Yeah, man. Damn. Here's the thing. People do coke, but I do coke. What neighborhood did you live in? Brooklyn? No, no, no. For a hot minute. I actually lived. This is so crazy. I was working on this show. One of the producer's assistants, her family owned a brownstone in the heart of the West Village. She was like, you can just rent this studio for me for mad cheap. It was this incredible studio if you know where Cafe Clooney is. Of course I do. That's some Sex and the City shit, baby. Literally right across the street, the building next to that magazine stand. Sorry, the one next to the Beatrice Inn. Now we're talking about real landmarks. Now I understand. Damn, you were living the dream. little tv job you had a little apartment yeah well that and i had never been i had been to new york literally for 12 hours before that i had to fly in for a thing and they immediately were like you didn't get the job and like flew me back so like i never got to see this thing so like when i moved there for work for real i was like like i know like i i think there's a thing that happens with wherever whatever city you came up in

you have like a love hate with right because it's like you succeeded there but you also struggled there so that's how i feel about la like i'll still drive by places it'll be like a restaurant or a clothing store and i'll be like fuck that place people are like why and i'm like because i couldn't afford it 15 years ago fuck cafe gratitude man haters in there fuck the pink dolphin store I know you're laughing, but I swear to God that's how I feel about the flight club on Fairfax. I walked in one time because, again, I was just a dude from, I mean, not the sticks sticks, but from the sticks of Georgia. Marietta ain't. This is like the internet wasn't what it was. You know what I'm saying? You're still isolated. What were you about to say, Chris? I just think Marietta's not the, I mean, bro, Marietta's a nice suburb. Now in it. I thought you was really country, bro. Yeah, dog. That ain't really. What high school did you guys here? I went to Pope, but I grew up by Wheeler. So, like, do you know where Roswell Road? I grew up by the Big Chicken. Damn, Big Chicken, that's another fire landmark. So we got Beatrice in and Big Chicken. My man is fucking running the game right now. But here's the thing. The Big Chicken, no one's like, oh, this is the city. No, you're right. It's just the big chicken. For those of you who don't know the big chicken. Please explain to Jason what the big chicken is. The big chicken is truly not a joke. It's a KFC and it's the biggest KFC on the eastern seaboard only because it has a gift shop and a giant chicken head attached to it. It's just a KFC. And that's what I grew up next to. You know what I'm saying? No wonder you're jaded. Well, that's my point is that I got to LA and it's like you didn't – I didn't – like the sneaker resale market wasn't like a thing that was in our vision. You know what I'm saying? Like you had to go downtown to like places like Walters in LA. Yeah, Walters. Not in LA, in Atlanta. Jason knows about Walters from our – we have a mutual friend, Decatur Dan, who's a real Walters. Yeah, but he's a real Walters head. He's a real OG. Oh, okay. He's been at Walters.

he what ben ben had walters oh my god so you're so i didn't i didn't know that but you're so you're a real sneaker head huh yeah man here's the thing i mean it sincerely a it's like the game the game's all twisted and you know me and my brother have like a sneaker podcast and we're like this is it's still it's fun for us and it as a as a actual thing that exists in the way that talking about fashion will always be fun because it will always exist it's fun in that way but like i mean and we all see it because it's happened with so many things but it's just like a bunch of dorks figured out how to manipulate it to make it seem like they're cool when in fact they're just dorks with welcome welcome to podcasting uh i'm your host chris this is my co-host jason But I know what you mean. I feel like it's the same kind of thing for your friends who are still into wrestling. Same kind of energy of like, yeah, I'm just in it now. I'm a lifer. I know it's not getting me laid anytime soon, but it's just what I do. But, yes, are you copping heavily and flipping? Are you just copping and wearing? I don't know. I just get them because I like to wear them. We need the top five dead or alive right now. We need the top five. Oh, man. Ben and Jerry's SBs. Ben and Jerry's SBs just dropped today, and it's the ugliest you've ever seen. They are, but here's what I'll say, and I mean it sincerely. I like it. They're ugly. Hold on. Hold on. They're ugly because they're. actively just trying to be what the container of ice cream is so they're not they're not ugly in the way a jeremy scott adidas is ugly where you're like this is actual i'm sorry i those are travesties Those are travesties. We don't disagree, but I like where your head's at with this. I think almost all sneakers, and this is coming from a guy who is currently quarantined, and his number one shoe he brought is the Kiko A6 that are green and white check, like the ugliest shoes ever made. But saying that, I still think most shoes that come out and that I see people really going nuts for are either really basic or ugly. There's rarely something I'm like, oh, that's actually interesting and cool.

Well, but see, it's all, but I, here's the thing. You're, you're right. But it's also to me, just like the art world a little bit. Cause it's like, what are we actually hyping here? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like everyone, you know. there's there's pieces of art right that we all collectively have agreed like you know the mona lisa or you know cause the big wave cause for you for all that shit all that fire cause shit for sure you already know that's my mona lisa A rainbow-flowered Murakami. Jason has the Murakami rug and is in the podcast room. I already know. You already know. Shoes come off. That's an Asian household. You know the shoes come off. But you know what I'm saying? Here's the thing. Again, those things got diluted a little bit. But what I'll say is that... so much of it truly and again like the sneaker world and that like hype art world the venn diagram has now just become a complete circle and they just went like oh these are things that interesting people are into so i'm gonna do this so i myself will be considered interesting by association and because of that the whole system gets messed up right because now even like and it's like yo like i know people have problems with yeezys and stuff and it's like like the easy 700 i think is a dope shoe and i'm like the reason i realized i think it's dope i was talking to my brother about this like the reason i think it's dope is because it looks like a skateboarding shoe and i skated like you know what i'm saying it's like there's so many little tricks and you know even like virgil like doing like revisions of osiris skate shoes and then you know having them as louis vuittons is crazy that's crazy crazy because those cyrus shoes are ugly as a motherfucker they're they always were tanks they're literally tanks but it's just it's more to me proof that everything comes back around and if you're in a position of power i mean if i'm virgil i'm doing the same thing it's like wait this is the shit i like growing up and i can make it now myself yeah okay sure shit let's do it yeah absolutely they're ugly as a motherfucker no yeah

absolutely but again and it's like you but then you do the thing where you go like it doesn't matter right it doesn't matter if they're ugly or not you go well there's only five of them and yeah you know what i'm saying really if you want to flex like you would have this all i want to do is all i want to do is flex that's the fucking all i want to do is flex it's it's a bummer like i read your thing uh the micro luxuries thing yeah the piece you did but i mean but it's funny because it's like again it's like something me and my brother and sister talk about it's just like yo like just having a full gucci sweatsuit as much as i would love that it's like it's almost more of a flex to be like oh the wallet's gucci but you know what i'm saying like you know like and the rest of it is kind of like because even like my wardrobe it's like All the same thing. It's just black long-sleeved t-shirts and black pants. And that's it. And black Air Force ones. And the black Air Force ones. But then the sneaker game go crazy. Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the thing. Mine are somehow ashy. Like, I got the only ashy pair. You got ashy ones? Yeah, man. They don't stay moisturized in this desert heat, man. That's what it is. It's the desert heat. What kind of timepiece are you working with, Mr. Hollywood? You got the AP bust down? You got the rollie? Oh, wait. Here's the thing. You got the swatch? Like, what you got? I'm going to tell you. I have an 18-karat gold 1988 Rolex Day-Date presidential band. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Light work. That's light work. That's what I wear on Saturday, so I know which one to talk about. another one because the dial is stuck on saturday so right exactly yeah exactly so all right so yeah the fit is understated this is well here's the thing i'll say that i also it was it was like my 35th birthday present to myself and like i and you can make the excuse after excuse but if there is like as a person you know whoever you are there are certain things that you are

when you're 12 years old you go that is a thing someone who is successful they have that thing right i'm not like i i've had my dream car already which was a 1988 ford bronco xlt eddie bauer edition and then it died so then i got a prius like you know what i'm saying like i had my dream car oh bro eddie bauer so you know hunter green with the tan no black and tan top bro my bad my bad You know I had them chrome step bars, bro. This is real power shit. You really did not have to go this hard. You really did. But to me, every day I go hard, bro. Every day is the gym, man. I'm starting to see that. I'm starting to realize that. Slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that you go harder than we do. Every day. Every day is Equinox, man. All this gear talk, though, I need to talk to you about Black AF. because oh yeah yeah i fucking loved it yeah yeah i loved it i thought it was very funny and i thought the way that clothing was involved was really interesting um because it reminded me of how a lot of people i know actually live you know what i mean yeah for better or worse well yeah but because that's the thing is that like Yeah. And me and Kenya, and that's the other, so that's the second part of the watch thing is that I was working on black AF at the time. I was, you know, it was like before my 35th birthday and like Kenya's Kenya has the illest Rolex. His, uh, his EP, uh, executive producers, dude, Hale Rothstein has, you know, they both, and they had like the big face ones. They have the 40 millimeter ones, which is crazy to me, but, uh, Because I was like, no one's wrists are that big. But I digress. But they were just like, man. And they meant it for real. They would just look at you and be like, man, you ain't got no Rolex, man? You really don't got one? And I was like, no. People just don't have Rolexes. And he's like, yeah, they do. They really do. I was like, OK. So finally, I was like, I'm buying this fucking watch. But he for real, Kenya lives that shit for real.

Fully come in. Like, I mean, and just every day is, he's not just wearing dunks. You know what I'm saying? He's wearing Sakai's three months before they come out. He's wearing Balenciaga, you know, not even the Balenciaga sock runners, which everyone liked. You know, he was wearing like the big chunky ones that look like the D3s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's Balenciaga, yeah. I appreciate the commitment. I also think, though, what did he do before Black-ish? Was there, was, is this, was he rolling in it before? Yeah, he's been a TV writer forever, but outside of that, he also co-created America's Next Time Model. What? Yes. He developed the show with Tyra Banks. He's the person who made it, essentially. Oh, that's really interesting, actually. I had no idea. I'm sure that's out there, but I've never heard that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, he talks about it in Black AF, just at the very top of the pilot. What did you do on the show? Did you write and produce? Yeah, I was one of the writing producers. So I did that. And then I had to leave early because Black Monday restarted. So I had to go back to Black Monday. How many shows are you going to do with Black in the title, bro? We get it, all right? I've done three. I know. Damn, you don't see me doing white AF. I mean, look, I just don't get it. I got to understand why you got to throw it in my face, bro. You don't have to title your thing white AF, Chris. We can kind of just do that. They already know. It's called Goop. You should do white AF by Chris Black. That would be – I agree. That's the flex. That's the flex, bro. Well, how many shows are you working on right now? Right now, just one. I mean like you're kind of – Yeah, just one. I'm waiting to hear if Black Monday is getting a third season or not. But Kenan Thompson's doing a new show for NBC, so I'm just helping write that for the next few weeks. We were supposed to literally be starting a film in 14 days, and then God said, nah. We're big Kenan Thompson fans on this show.

are you he's the backbone of snl i'll say he's the backbone of s and jason jason and i are both diehard snl watchers even if it's whether it's good or bad i don't even care it's part of my culture to watch me too and people it's so here's what i'll say like yes people clown it yes of course even when it's not good we clown it whatever like it's also by nature of like any i i truly mean this because like there's there's this it's not a new thing but there's a resurgence of positivity in art where like uh and when i say art i mean all i mean the collective of everything right anything creative and so there's like this new not new thing but again this thing that's come back around where people are just like, it's just about making it and like being positive and happy. But I'm like, and I mean this sincerely, I think so much of art is actually misery. And so this idea that like, we've stopped like critiquing things and like, I don't want to like, I'm not going to like go on TV and be like, here are the 12 things that I hate. But I will, I will do that for a small fee. But I have less to lose than you do. Everyone is a damn snowflake now and nobody wants to critique or say things that may offend or hurt someone's feelings because everyone is all precious and shit. But that's not going to help you. it's not going to help you. But also it's weirdly the one thing that people don't mind it with for some insane reason is SNL. People always go so hard at SNL. And I'm like, at the end of the day, and like, here's the thing. I mean it. Like I've got friends on the show, blah, blah, blah. Like when I like it, I like it. When I don't, I don't. And that's just what it is. But like this idea that people hold, like. I enjoy it as the legacy that it is also. It's just so crazy to have something that's been on air for this long that kind of doesn't make sense. But when people are like, SNL's bad this year, I'm like, it is a collection of sketches. That's it. That's like saying YouTube was bad this year. Right. It's so crazy to me. People hold it to the wire. I'm like, bro, it is.

People who came from UCB and the Groundlings pretending to be like old people, you know, and now they're on TV. I mean, I think that it's heyday. I don't know. I think everybody just remembers it from when they grew up. You know what I mean? Right. It's James Bond. Because I swear by the best of Jimmy Fallon DVD from SNL. It is fucking incredible. I used to watch it all the time as an adult, like in my early 20s. It is fucking incredible. He had so many hits, man. The leather store shit? I could watch that all day, bro. It's just him laughing. That's why it's funny. That's why it works, because he could get away with it for some reason. Are you a Fallon stan because of your rampant cocaine use? Maybe. Fallon and I did do cocaine in the same locations many times in the early 2000s. There was a big Sunday night party. Where was that party? There was a Sunday night party that was in Union Square that he was always at. I mean, just yacked out. And you guys just LCD sound system blasting, shirt off. Yeah, there was a member of the Strokes or Razor Light in the building. Parliament lights everywhere. But I just think that he really... I mean, now I don't watch the show now, but I think that era of SNL, because that was my prime time. You know what I mean? That's just what... But I have to recommend that video. I have to recommend it. It's really good. There's a whole series of DVDs of best ofs. Dude, buddy, here's the thing. I owned the series. You know what I'm talking about. I know. Dude, here's what I'll say. The Eddie Murphy one is truly untouchable. Well, of course. Untouchable. We're not talking about that level. But then, dude, I was going to say a very close second is the Will Ferrell one. The Will Ferrell one goes in. And the Chris Farley one, too. Yeah, Chris Farley one goes. They didn't really do it. I mean, they're pretty much all good except for the Jimmy Fallon one. They're all good. I knew Jason would be a hater, but Jason doesn't like to admit when he likes white comedy. He only likes to talk about Cat Williams. Cat Williams. It's so funny because Cat Williams is so funny because I mean it for real.

Cat Williams is exclusively for black people, but only white people really love him. That's funny as fuck. I think you're right about that. Jason, how does that make you feel, Jason? You feel seen? Yeah, I feel seen. It's 100% true. But I just think black comedians of that era, they still had a little bit of, I don't know, a different kind of showmanship and energy that they delivered versus just like, I'm just going to be a regular comedian. It was a little more sing-songy, animated, and energetic and all that stuff. Which is what a guilty white person wants a black person to see do, you know? Right. They want them to tap dance. More or less, yeah. Do the thing that I saw you on the news for. Do something crazy and insane that a white person would never do. Then all the comics became slow-talking black dudes with glasses. Yes. Well, I know you're right. No, you're right. I don't know if I haven't watched. I have not really been able to get into the Zoom stuff, like the Zoom SNL. I can't. I appreciate they're doing it, but I just don't really. I'm not that interested. Oh, man. I got to be honest. I love it. Is it because you understand the craft and how difficult it is to do what they're doing? Not even that. I'm like. It's truly the only show. I love that they realize they're the only show that could do it. That's true. I agree with that. That's a good point. They're the only show that could do it. And then what's her name? Chloe Fineman, dog, is a star. Oh, she did the Britney Spears shit? Yeah, she did the Britney Spears shit. That was wild. She did the Carole Baskin impressions, and she's... She's out of this world. She did that Timothee Chalamet thing, masterclass. She's phenomenal. She was just a featured person, right? Yes. She's about to come up. I would argue that she saved what those episodes were going to be. You know what I'm saying? I think everyone else was kind of... It weirdly speaks to...

I think we're all kind of in this place a little bit, you know, us three, especially in the same age, we're all kind of just like, you know, the YouTube, TikTok, like Instagram stuff is all kind of corny. I get that younger people like it, but like, you know, it is what it is. I don't, I don't love it. It don't impress us much. Exactly. Right. It don't impress us much. You know what I'm saying? Brad, you know, Brad Pitt, you don't impress me. Someone may have said this before already, but it has got to be crazy. You're literally Brad Pitt, and that song also exists. That's crazy, and that was a big song. It was a big song, and you're like, keep in mind, at the time it came out, that's probably like seven Brad Pitt. You know what I'm saying? What if it's early peaks? Yeah, but I'm saying if you're Brad Pitt now, you're like, get rid of the song. Take care of it. i'm flawless take care of the song um but anyway what i was gonna say is that like with instagram and tiktok and youtube all stuff blah blah blah um that i've kind of found it useless like it's fun and stupid to watch stuff on your phone i guess because there's nothing else happening but like seeing her realize that like that is the way to format the show and like her being so good online and that making the show so good because that's what they had to pivot to i was just like oh like You see the space for it, I guess. I don't know, but I dig her a lot. I think she's so great. I was really into Bo and Yang right before the quarantine. I thought he was becoming my fave cast member, and now he's not on it at all. They don't give him shit. Why? Does he have a computer? He might not have a computer, yeah. I don't think they pay very much on that show. Hello? What's up? I totally blanked out for a second. You were into Bowen Yang is what you were saying. But now Bowen gone. He don't have a MacBook, so they had to cut him. He got a Surface tablet and couldn't handle it. Speaking of Surface tablet, one thing I noticed on... Are we good?

I should have answered on my computer. No, it's okay. Just stay in one place. Don't move. No, I am. It's just like... Oh, it's just you suck. All right. Well, we got to keep it moving. We got to keep it moving. Speaking of the Surface tablet, when I was watching Black AF, I noticed that there is a possibility that you guys were sponsored by Samsung. Is that a thing? Very, very sponsored. dude it's so crazy like because that was also the time i mean they completely tanked them but remember they were like we got a folding tablet y'all get ready the phone that would fold in half like a book and then it broke so really took a shit literally immediately so they like sent one to kenya like please like put us in your show so it'd been like written in before he even opened it because like you know people like kenya like people He's a dude that you gift things to. You know what I mean? He just had it sitting in the corner of his office forever, just sitting there. Then he finally opened it up, and truly, the moment he opened it up, it was just half of a webpage and then just half of a white LED screen. I was like, how does something not work out the box? You know how bad that is? Even Soulja Boy's watch worked better than that probably. Damn, that's low, TJ. Hey, man. Look, here's the thing. You can't keep a watch from ticking, big boy. You know what I'm saying? Amen, brother. I think that you guys did a good job at... having the the samsung integration be fairly seamless but you obviously can tell if you are the type of person who keeps an eye out for that type of stuff is that you know do do you think that this is going to be just like a more and more commonplace thing as budgets get smaller and is this something that you had to do or is this something that they wanted to do it's well you know it's weird like that here i don't

like i didn't get full producer i know you did not orchestrate this deal but you know right but i will say the thing that's interesting about that one in particular is that netflix is literally known for no product integration like if something is there it's because like the creator wants it there but samsung is so big that i would not be shocked if some form of monetary yeah compensation went into production because like it's just i mean i i assume that that is a absolute given that that's just written into the budget of like all right we're gonna give you guys 10 million to shoot you know 20 episodes or whatever and they're like cool it's gonna cost 25 unless samsung gives you five milli this ain't gonna happen type of thing right yeah because like it just is there gonna be a second season I hope so. I haven't heard anything about it. Kenya is also like a mad busy dude. So like, it'll, it'll be interesting to, to see. I, and he also like, I mean, I don't know if you guys read like black Twitter reviews. It wasn't. That's why I'm still waiting for my invite. When I first watched it, I was like, damn, this is funny as fuck. I really like this. And my girl, we both, we watched like three episodes. I was like, damn, this is funny. I really like this. And then started looking into it. I was like, oh, wait, wait, black people don't seem to like this. So maybe I shouldn't like this publicly yet. Let me just let this, let me let this, let me let this chill out a little bit before I make a public comment on it. And then I did make a comment and all the people that agreed with me were white. So I don't know what that says about me and my people. so weird i'll say this like there's there's a weird thing that happened where like and here's the thing i'm people are gonna come at me anyway so i i kind of don't care the fact that i'm discussing this with two white dudes they're gonna be like these straight white males and blah blah blah anyway y'all deal with that part of it don't deal with it every fucking day that's our okay good okay but i'll say that the weird thing to me that happened is that like we made the show

and like again because i had to leave early i like we we wrote you know we wrote as much as we did when i was there then i came back to film my episode and then you know i didn't see any of it till it came on and then i watched it i was like you know i was like oh man this is like wild to see how it you know played out and i was like yeah yeah like i mean like and it was all things that like i'd even said the room was just like some episodes felt a little bit long to me or whatever but Other than that, I was like, I really love this show. It's so funny. It's so weird. It's so interesting. The idea of dealing with hyper-rich blackness is such a crazy thing to just put on without... That seems unexplored as far as television. Outside of HBO's ballers, it hasn't really been touched on. I truly was about to say, besides rap... like a fake version of rap or a fake version of an athlete you don't see it because like those are always those are always worlds that are like filled with like you know it's always filled with their peers right so it's like if you see a hyper rich lebron he's standing next to a hyper rich kevin durant like you know what i mean like so there's kind of a a weird like camaraderie there but like this is kind of like a hyper rich dude who shouldn't be super rich who's still around people that don't make as much as him and then he's kind of the only black dude where he is so it's like oh okay like so it it's fun to see but like i think what what you know and then woke black twitter got a hold of it and they're like how dare you like this isn't there's nothing about this is black and blah blah blah charlamagne the god had something to say don't get me started on don't let me get it on big charlotte don't even get me started on him but the crazy thing to me is that he's like i understand that black people we're not monolithic but this isn't how we are and i was like but that's you are you are discrediting your own statement by saying that like you know what i mean people got like i was like i truly think that and like

Here's the thing. The original title of the show was Black Excellence, and I think that would have clarified it for people a little bit more. Well, that's a known term, too. That's a term that most people recognize. Right. But, like, I think the idea that, like, it was called Black AF, and I think people thought, I don't know if they thought it was going to be, like, a revolutionary show, you know, but, like, this idea that, like, I truly love the idea that there's a black father on TV who doesn't like his family, who doesn't like his kids, who's completely selfish. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's funny to see a dude who's Kenya's age, who, like, who is cool, but, like, genuinely, like, if you talk to Kenya for real, he's like, I need that off-white sweatshirt. Like, you know what I mean? cares about that stuff and it's like so funny to like have that guy on TV and like you know it was his first time acting I thought he did a dope job acting I loved Rashida in it cause like that's who she is you know what I mean the kids were amazing the kids were so good it was so you know like It was, so again, like all the things that I thought that made it interesting. And again, it's like, it's like with anything, right? When you like force people to like kind of shift their perspective, they're like, I hate this, you know what I mean? And so like, I think in time as, you know, hopefully we get another season or more shows aren't just like, you know, sad sacks of, you know, the cops shooting us in Chicago or whatever. Well, that's the thing. That's the thing that I don't understand. I guess, I mean, it's hard for me to understand, obviously, but to me, it seems like. somewhat refreshing because it's new and whether you whether you agree with the sentiment or the way it's portrayed it's still i mean to not laugh at that is crazy to me it's fucking funny like it's not i don't i don't you know what i mean like i don't really understand but i think that's why it's important though is because it is something new and that's the whole point it's like pushing the conversation forward and it's not exactly it's not a stereotype so i don't really i don't know i don't

I didn't read that much into it, but I did notice that because the Mindy Kaling show came out at the same time and people were just drooling over it. And that doesn't interest me at all. I have no interest in watching that show. Oh, you haven't seen it? No, I have no interest. I'll say this. It is phenomenal. That's what everybody says, but I will eventually watch it. It's phenomenal. it was one of those things where you're just like, so, you know, when you're like, this person knows exactly what they're doing. Like, that's how it felt. Like I was just like, it is like, but in an annoying way or not? No. And a very like charming, like, cause like she just has, she just has like such a good voice for like young comedy. And I don't mean like for kids. I mean, just like, you know, like I, you know, I've luckily gotten to work with her and she's like, She is who she is too. I've been lucky enough to work with problematic or not. I've worked with Lena and Mindy and Kenya and all these people that people have these very strong feelings about. But that means they're doing their job to me. Exactly. I have very strong opinions about all three of those people, and I recognize that's good, no matter what the opinion is. And that's why they're famous, and that's why people care about what they have to say. Right, exactly. And that's the thing I say to everyone. you can hate Lena, you can hate Mindy, you can hate Kenya, you can hate Chrissy Teigen, you can hate all these people that you're, you know, complaining about. But, like, at the end of it, like, they are doing them and it's working. Like, you know what I mean? Like, they have a sense of self that, like, you know, I think, like, just gets to a lot of people. And I think that, again, one of the problems with Black AAF is that, like, Kenya has always known exactly what he's wanted, what he's wanted to do. And I think that, like... you know again for better or worse maybe going on twitter and arguing with every person who has to say about it but like but like uh but it's just like yo this is his fan like you can't come at someone for like making a show about their life like again it's like the fact that the title was the title is almost what i think like hurt it most but even then i'm just like like the the crazy thing is like you know who who has the complaint it's like

These are my lead is so crazy again that I'm like saying this here, but like my problem is like, it's like, it's like, it's all the like middling college educated people have a problem with it. It's like dirt poor people and like hood people all love it. And then like hyper rich people or people with any form of success really like it. But it's like all these just like. college dweebs who need to you know like who just need an opinion and I'm not even one of those people that's just like shut up snowflake you know what I mean like I'm just saying it's just like these people who like truly think that they're being woke or being intelligent by having this take on it and it's like but you didn't even think about the thing that you're saying you're just saying it because you feel like what you're watching is antithetical to everything you've been taught but it's like The fact that you don't like it is actually antithetical to the movement that you are claiming to portray online. You know what? People online are fucking mad. That's what I'll say. Yeah. Yeah, I think the people, fans of anything in the middle are always the worst. You go to a basketball game, the only cool people are courtside or in the bleachers blacked out. Everyone in the middle is boring as fuck. They're salty that they're not doing either of them. The $200 ticket is different than the $5,000 or the $10. Yeah. That's very true. I thought that Black AF did a very – if you are into woke black Twitter, I thought it did a very good job at having entertainment and comedy but also mixing in. you know, important black history moments and educational pieces in a way that was not, you know, boring or uncalled for. Yeah, but that's the other thing, though. It's like it either... It's like people would have rather seen nothing than what the show did. Because they're like, how come you didn't talk about Sir Marvin Reese of 1772? And it's just like, what? Because I don't know who he is. Make a show. He invented the laundry basket.

I was off the weed when I was watching it last night. It reminds me of Big Mouth. It's sort of for that perfect demographic to teach them and educate them about a subject. That was sex education. This is black history. Doing it in a fun way. We're going to teach you this shit. You're going to learn some things. We're going to have 12-year-old kids saying fuck. But see, that was the thing. Remember when Big Mouth, they did like the joke with Ali Wong saying that she was pansexual and people were like, that is not what that means. Right. And the same type of backlash for something that shouldn't, you know, that if you are, you know, an intelligent sort of open-minded person, you're like. I mean, I wish I had this when I was 13 years old so I could learn about all this shit in a way that was actually entertaining versus a boring textbook in school. Right, but it's also, like, it is the thing that you're saying it is. It may not be the complete and full, like, you know, like, DSM-4 or DSM-5, like, definition of what that is, but, like, people are, like, so mad if you don't get, like, the, like... We've lost our ability to understand that nuance can exist without us having every syllable of that nuance explained. It's almost like the idea of subtext and subtlety has just gone out the window. You can't just have an opinion on anything. We're into classic or trash. world we are you can't no you have right nothing exists no it's true it's true and i think that people especially right now because of where we're at it's just like there's nothing to do except consume the shit and they regurgitate your thoughts on it there's nothing else to do dude it's such a bummer like it's especially i mean and but this stuff like i mean if i'm netflix i'm pumping shit out if i'm hulu amazon i'm gonna pump this shit out as much as i can because it does come and go

but people, you know, the audiences change the couch. Like they're not going anywhere and they're going to watch it and they're going to talk about it. It's a hater. They love it. There's, but there's no, there's no, there's no 6.5 of 10. That's for sure. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Truly. I mean, like it's so crazy. Like I just like, I, I fought cause I, you even find yours. like sometimes like that's also the other thing that I've really like come to also I'm like I don't need an opinion on 90% of the things I have an opinion on I'm like because I don't care enough I don't care enough to say this to another person I need to try to get there that's going to take me years of therapy to figure out how to do that your boy cannot relate your boy cannot relate but y'all are in different positions a little bit like you guys have also like I mean, curated careers also in the culture in a way that I have not. Like, you know what I mean? Like, my entire existence is to be a clown. Like, you know what I mean? So then when the clown all of a sudden is just like, we need to pay attention to Standing Rock, people are like, what? That is true. That is confusing. I still, you know, clearly Standing Rock isn't. issue that it was easy to get behind but i'm saying like you know that does carry into like so many other things that like i just find myself like watching something or reading something and being like this is trash or this is incredible or whatever and i'm like you know what like i'll say if something's dope i'll just say it but if it's not like what do i who who is who is this helping like there's no one at home being like oh my god if yasser says that mrs america is good or bad i'll pull this gun out of my mouth well then yasser we i think i guess we both probably think that it's important to have the group chat with your boys where you can openly talk shit on all this stuff and get it out of your system do you have that same support group yes i got here's i have group threads for

every subject i got you know i got the sneaker one the fashion one i got sourdough bread one uh nah man that's you know i ain't friends with that many white people and then uh then you know i got the you know the hate no here's the thing because i have one where it's literally just hating on other comedians and then there's that's a good one that's a good good one if you knew that thread and who we hated you would uh just chef's kiss in the air be so excited well just let me know let me know when i get the invite because i hate all comedians okay here's the thing after this let's just we'll start the thread and i'll tell i'll tell you not who's on the thread but i'll tell you who we talk about in the thread Okay, I'll take that. We'll go from there. That's enough information to keep you going. But yeah, of course. Here's the thing. You don't want hate out in the world. We're all annoyed by someone and all that annoyance comes from jealousy. So we might as well just be petty together. Damn, that's a real rallying cry, bro. I'm going to cry. We have to get that out of our system some way, so best to do it responsibly. It's like jacking off. We can't be fucking prostitutes on the street, so we just should jack off in our house and get it out of our system. Well, that's also my theory on cheating, especially for dudes. I'm like, every dude who has cheated just couldn't find somewhere to beat off for 10 minutes. It's like if you could have found somewhere for 10 minutes to just beat off, you wouldn't have cheated, but you could. That's true. I've heard that line of thinking before and I agree. Just need a place to jack off. Yeah, that's true. And again, like if it were more just like you're at work and you're like, oh, sorry, I got to go. I got to go smash one out.

Like if we had that more like in the, you know, and the public view or just like, you know, and that's just more of our line of thinking. I think that we'd all just be happy. Like women would for sure be happier. Like, oh, like dudes really just needed to beat off. That's why they're so angry. Yeah. And they would understand. Yeah, they definitely understand. No question. Yeah. Yeah. Also, ladies be jacking off too, though. Wasn't a say, but yeah. I gotta go. It's like the most subtle men's rights argument. It's like, hey, but for real, women also beat their meat. I guess. They beat their shit. They beat their shit. Shut up, Jason. Shut up. I can't be attached to things of this vulgarity. Chris had a story in GQ today. He can't be down here in the swamp talking about this. I'm a high level guy. It was about the rise of the reply guy during COVID. Because we're all logged on. Don't tell me. I'm going to read it. That's it. I can't. I'm so logged on that I can't, and I don't know what else to do, but I'm suffering. I'm sure, I'm sure Yasser experiences his fair share of reply guys as well. Oh, I bet you got a dark reply guy. Dude, here's, here's my thing. Like, it's so crazy. It's like, I try to tell my girl, cause like we talk about it and like literally no one hits on me except gay dudes. Like only in like, like in a way that like. And I try to explain it to her. I'm like, it's so crazy because, like, guys, like, heterosexual men don't even talk to women the way they talk to, the way gay men talk to a man they're hitting on. Like, because even, like, a man, like, trying to, here's the thing. I'm not saying that, like, all dudes are good, but, like, a dude will at least do something, like, if he's trying to, like, you know, smash some Instagram chick, she'll, like, post a picture where she's, like, butt naked with, like, a slice of...

pizza covering her vagina and be like oh my god had another pizza accident the guy will be like haha that's super funny what's your address but then like but like gay dudes with me i'll just like tweet something just like hey, I gotta say, I don't love lemon desserts. And that guy will respond like, why don't you bend over and spread in front of me? I guess that's also a way to do it. That's the difference in the cultures, I believe. I think that the forwardness of gay men is both jarring and something that I think we wish we could do. You're saying black people don't like lemon desserts, Chris? What did you say? Are you saying black people don't like lemon desserts? I didn't say anything about black people. That's kind of what it sounds like. No, that's not what I said. I'm an ally. Y'all see yours on this podcast. Just chill, bro. Just chill. If you're using me for your allyship, every black person in America will be like, he ain't one of us. You're right. I have other friends. Don't worry. i'll say this my brother my brother and so me my brother and sister all have different fathers but uh my i like posted a picture the other day like an old picture of me my brother called me he was like man you used to look blacker and i was like huh and then my sister facetimed me two days ago and i was wearing this bonnet and she was like I gotta say, man, you look just like a Middle Eastern dude. Don't nothing look black about you. And I was like, what is happening? What is my family coming at me? So you really are ready to move to Burbank. I got to, man. I got to. I think I looked a lot whiter when I was a baby, and then I have grown out of my whiteness as I've gotten older. So it is possible, I suppose. But if I grew out of being blacker, that's like...

Here's the thing. If that's the case, I grew out of being black, which was the hardest thing in America. Yeah, you worked too hard to not be black anymore. To grow into a Middle Easterner. It's like, that's worse. Well, don't worry, guys. I haven't grown anything. I've been alabaster since I came out the canal, boy. I've been white as hell. Are you from Conyers? Yeah, well, I was born in Atlanta. My mom worked at Piedmont Hospital. And then, yeah, I went to a high school in Conyers. And then I lived in the city until I was like 24, 25, and then moved to New York. Yeah. You and Dakota Fanning? Is that you? Actually, no, no. Dakota and the squad. Holly Hunter, Dakota and Elle, Chris Black, all from Conyers, Georgia. Pick your fighter. I was going to say, that's a strong showing, though. Dakota and Elle actually are our best exports. I love them, and they're very sweet, and I'm glad they're from our hometown. Three of the whitest people in the history of mankind. Elle, Dakota, and Chris Black. I mean, look, I don't... It's not my fault. What do you want me to say? Wait, Anne Holly Hunter, the homie? The homie. But do you go back? Is your mom in Atlanta? Do you go back? No, no, no. Here's the thing. My mom is from the Bay. She's from here. Oh, the Yale area. The Yale area, dog. I'm also part of the hyphy movement, so go on. You're going to let it go? Yeah, I have a scraper and all that stuff. Shut up. Even being in Georgia, my mom was like, y'all could never talk like these people. Why did you go there? Did she have a job? Yeah, she got a job out there, so we just moved to Georgia. I was super young.

Cause I was born in Miami and my brother was born in Cincinnati. And then my sister was born in Santa Rosa. And then like right after my sister, we moved to Georgia. But, uh, but yeah, so like, I, I mean, I'll say my experience is like, cause you're, I mean, I, I haven't spent too much time in Conyers. It's more of like a drive through, but like Marietta for me, like it was like truly. Because it was also because I think we're all around the same age. It was like also like the height of like jackass when I got to high school. It was like all my homies had pickup trucks and we would like steal things from Walmart to tie to the back of a pickup truck. And then we just drag ourselves around an empty field in a pickup truck, like in a kiddie pool at, you know, Chattahoochee Technical College. that is um i unfortunately had a lot of direction at that age because i was into hardcore so i was very uh idealistic and involved in stuff uh but i did know i did know people that did things like you i was also straight edge and i was also doing all kinds of jackass mess like that you know throwing shit breaking stuff i mean i would we we did a lot of tire slashing and like but none of this little comedy shit because i was really about this like i wasn't out here I wasn't out here getting jokes off. I was out here getting the movement forward. Tire slashing? Yeah. Were you listening to Under Oath? First of all, don't come in here and name the one shitty hardcore band that you know. You know he was blasting Under Oath and slashing tires. I've never blasted Under Oath. I've never blasted Under Oath. We would also shoot out windows of BB guns. Let them really know who's coming for them. Real street shit. But my question is, in Conyers, was it local aldermen or whatever? It was mostly low-level beef growing from high school problems. It wasn't anything serious.

They weren't about that life. They were like, they would threaten me. But then in the dark of night, I could go take their Jeep Wrangler and I'd slash the spare. Like I ain't even going to leave the spare. You know what I'm saying? Like we're going mask off. So the spare is on site for the spare tire. It is absolutely 100% on site for the spare. I kept the Leatherman on me and I would just stab. I was like, I was like, I was in London. The his man comes. That's right. You can call me, yeah, Chris the Hiss Black. Oh, he's leaking. The Michelin is leaking. I left him leaking. That is so funny. So funny. I just imagine just like the sweet citizens of Conyers. Traorized by one boy with a BB gun. That's me, yeah. Like a chubby guy wearing black dickies and a black t-shirt. I mean, we did. We did some egging too, which was more fun. We did one where we'd drive and you would throw the egg out. You would be driving in the street fast and you would throw the egg out of the driver's side window so it hit the windshield of the oncoming car just to freak them out. That's the fun shit. I think we did that once or twice. One of the homies one day was like, I think someone will die. And we're like, oh, yeah. Go slash the Wrangler. Don't do that. Yeah, man. Handle slash the Wrangler, dog. Any Grand Cherokees? Just a lot of Wranglers. I just remember Wrangler specifically because Wrangler kept the spare on the outside. Most cars don't. And also, the Jeep Wrangler is the classic fake flex car. For all kinds of, because it's like 30 grand, but people think it's like nice, I guess, or it seems expensive. I don't know why. There's like a culture around it and I don't understand it. As a Bronco enthusiast, what I think it is truly is that people associate it with an old Bronco, which is a flex. And you're like, but this ain't it. This is like, it's the Chrysler 300C.

Of, like, the topless convertible. Yeah. Don't say it's topless. Say the titties is out. Come on. Oh, man. Come on. Yeah, yeah. If Brother Nas has told us one thing, he said, don't say my car is topless. That might be his best line, to be honest. I'm not really, like, a bars guy, but that's, like, one of the best lines, you know. But I do, I mean it sincerely. I wonder if anyone has ever said it to him, like, back. Like, oh, you know I got a convertible. And he's like, oh, actually, I don't like that. I don't like that. I hope so. I hope that's happening. Yeah, I don't like the way that sounds. That's gross to me. It is gross. It is gross. And I do think that's happening. I don't know. Nas seems pretty serious. He doesn't seem like a guy who likes to joke around very much. You know, I'll say this. I weirdly in New York, boy. He's actually a chill guy, Chris, once you get to know him. You were at the Red Bull Studios? Yeah, is that right? I was at the Blue Ribbon Sushi off Christopher, the one on Christopher. And I walked outside to meet someone and accidentally ran into... Damn, so you were buying Coke outside of... Yeah, yeah. And I ran into this dude and he was like, excuse me, young man, I'm sorry. And I turned around and it was Nas. And I was just like, A, he was just shorter than I imagined. Celebrities always are. They always are. Here's what I'll say. I truly hope... I hope people either think I'm tall. I hope when I meet them, I'm taller than what they expected or I'm exactly where they thought. How tall are you? I'm 6'1". Just FYI, you're the shortest guy on this podcast right now, but go ahead. For guests, that's pretty high. For guests, it's good. Have you considered putting your height in your bio? Yeah, that's a good idea. Jason, you should do that.

but here's also the other problem is that i'm like a true like and this is this is so sad i'm actually six foot and like nine tenths of an inch i'm like right under six one right we could tell like i know i've got that energy of just like a dude you really do i talk so much that you're like there's no way this dude is six two six two or taller if you're nine tenths you're allowed to round up that's fine So I round up, but my point being is that like, but dudes who are five, nine round up to six foot. So like, I, me saying six, one people are like, he's probably five, 10. Like, you know what I mean? Like we just live in a world where like, I think that's probably the hardest part of being a woman outside of the obvious stuff is that like, dudes are always short. That's the hardest thing women have had to deal with is these short motherfuckers that are trying to fuck them. Do not come at me if you're short. I mean this sincerely. I think the world would be better for women if all dudes were tall. Damn. I think women would agree with you. Speak on that, brother Yasser. I think the complaints women have when they're like men are aggressive and mean and they're like just sending me these crazy pictures and they're like following me home. I'm like there is no nigga over the height. six one and a half that is doing that. It's short king energy. It is so short to hang out outside of a woman's house. It is so short to be aggressive at the club. You know what I'm saying? It's very Jermaine Dupri. It's very... It's Jermaine Dupri. It ain't DJ Tump. No, it is not Tump. It is not Tump. Here's the thing. A tall dude will be like, yeah, she can make as much money as me. I'm still taller. You know what I mean? A short guy's like, she's got to be broke. We approach differently.

yeah it really it's just like a different vibe for us you know what i mean like you know what i'm saying we need to kill our blessings pray every day to the gods that we are tall um can i i'm gonna be so real with you so my brother's like my brother's uh like closer to six three he's like you know six two and nine tenths or whatever but uh so he's tall and like he just had a grocery He was younger, but had a growth spurt before me. When I finally settled into my height at 25, I remember my mom, out of nowhere, dead-ass serious, she looked at me and she went, I'm so glad you got tall. I was like, huh? I was like, why do you say that? She just goes, it's just a lot harder for short guys. She knew that you being short, you weren't going to make it in this world. Yeah, no, not a chance. You know what? You maybe could have been a writer, but they would have never put your ass on camera. That's for sure. They would have, but it would have been like, hey, can you like climb out of this locker with like snot coming out of your nose? All right. Your parents are going to break in on you jacking off. Yeah, you're 45, but you're going to need to kiss this 17-year-old girl because you guys are going to technically be the same age. That's the one thing I will say about the Mindy show that really cracked me up. I haven't talked to her about it yet, so I guess I'll do it here. But there's a character who plays the high school girl's crush, and I was watching it with Chelsea, who's my girlfriend. I was like, yo, this dude is 30. He's just 30. And she's like, I don't think so. I was like, it's driving me crazy how old he is. I feel like men, we can definitely tell. Sometimes we have a hard time placing a woman's age. I feel like they have the same thing with us. She was like, he doesn't look that old to me. I was like, I'm telling you this dude is 30. There's no way he's their age. And I swear to God, I looked it up and he was 10 years older than the next oldest person on the cast. And I was like, I knew it.

It's Hollywood, maybe. Yeah, but you can push too far. Whenever you have one of those teen shows, we all know that everyone playing a high school student is older, but there's a certain threshold where you're like, all right, come on, dog. We can't suspend our disbelief this far. That's what I'm saying. Even Chelsea was like, how do you... you know and i was like he just has a level of tired that is just from a 30 year old man yeah he can't you got more energy when you're 23 and also like this guy playing like the sophomore quarterback can kick my ass and i'm a full grown man and that can't be that's not that's because he's 33 right it's like well because there's all the like but you know there's like that thing where it's like this is getting into dangerous territory but like when you see like a shredded 18 year old boy with his shirt off in a tv show you're like that is what an 18 year old boy who is shredded looks like but then you see a 30 year old guy who's shirtless playing an 18 year old and you're like that looks like loose skin wrapped around tightly some old dude's muscles Wow. I love when you describe me like that. This is the chest of someone who had a bad month with Xanax at 27. And you don't get that when you're still in high school. Right. It's just like, oh, those are lifting stroller muscles. You know what I'm saying? Also, I just can't wait for the clip where it's just an audio highlight of me being like, you know what a shirtless 18-year-old boy looks like? Don't worry. We love to isolate audio on our guests to promote our show with some controversy. Only a short podcaster would take you out of context, Yasser. Don't worry. You're in good, long, large hands here, baby. We don't do that. Big Dick Jason would never do that to you.

Yeah, big dick motherfuckers. We hit record, we hit stop, we hit publish. That's it. Swinging all through iTunes. Knocking over all our podcasts and shit. Tired from lugging it around all day. Exactly. Exhausted. Yasser, thanks for joining us. This has really been a guest. I tell you what, we needed to laugh. We needed a star from the comedy community to come on and really bust us down. You need the hands of a professional, and thank you for that. Exactly. I'm here for you always. Jason, you have my number, so start a group thread. Can you tell the people where to find you, whether it's TV or the internet? I feel like just go to the internet. TV's a wasteland. Go watch Black AF on Netflix. Black AF on Netflix. Watch Black Monday on Showtime. Duncanville on Fox. My Twitter and Instagram are the same. It's Yasser, Y-A-S-S-I-R underscore Lester, L-E-S-T-E-R. People always ask, why do I have an underscore? It's because I like the idea that they're spaced out. I don't like one word. I don't like the aesthetic of one word together. That's it. Thanks. We didn't ask, but thanks for sharing. Oh, wow. All right, man. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. I actually understand that, to be honest, as a guy who really appreciates aesthetics. Yeah, bro. Come on, man. Come on, man. Well, the next time you come on this show, we will unpack the psychology behind your underscore and so much more. I wanted to talk about... six, nine, all kinds of stuff. So we'll get into it. Okay. All right, let's do it. All right. Uh, we will, uh, we will talk to you soon. Thank you. All right.