323. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts. or watch on YouTube. Yeah, I was talking to a friend of the show, Rostam, a.k.a. Rostman. And we did not dead that yet, Rostman. Suck my dick from the side. And I posted a picture on my Instagram. What's up? How long gone? Chris Black, Jason Stewart here. Live, uncut, unedited from Glendale in the sauna. And Rossum was DMing me because I posted a photo. I was sitting inside of a Porsche 911. Brand new, that 2022. 2022. What color, by the way? The color is a dark, moody, sexy gray with all black, everything else. Dark, dark 20s on it, black. handles and features and all that. He said he got the Hollywood tent on that. He said they can't see me riding low in Long Beach. Yeah, and he has to take it in this week. He's going to get clear coat on the whole motherfucker, so I wish a pebble would fall off of one of those pickup trucks and scratch the shit. I don't know, man. I feel like if I was going to get a new Porsche, I would want that brown interior. Silver on the outside, brown on the inside, navy. On the outside brown inside, Hunter Green. Wow, you've been looking at Emily Oberg's mood board a lot lately. Where do you think I stole my whole swag from, bro? We're two months away from Hunter Green 90s car with tan interior. That's almost uncouth. It's almost jumped the shark. Well, the thing is you don't actually see them in real life. You only see it on the internet. I've seen one Land Rover LR4.

Hunter Green with the tan leather interior, and that's about as good as it gets for a car. It is. It is. But as a Yeezy owner, I have to kind of zig before everyone else zigs. So I'll announce what the new 90s Land Rover color scheme interior. I don't know. It's April 2, so give me about two weeks. Yellow with red, maybe, for you. Something nice and loud. First week at Coachella, I should be ready to announce it. Feels like emergency. But I'm talking to Ross and I post a selfie of me. It's a cockpit, not a driver's seat. I was hoping you would say that. I had it in super wet, wet mode on the steering wheel, of course. And Ross Mann was like... Is she yours? Did you say that you were in super wet, wet mode to Carolyn's dad when you got back? No, he was in the car sitting next to me. Oh, he was you. No, actually, no, he was... cuddled up in the back like a refugee he was like i don't i ain't letting you do this alone but i'll let my daughter i was surprised because i was like okay i'll sit in the front seat shotgun bay will kind of be curled up in the back like a set of golf clubs it's a notoriously small back seat it's it's really all you can really fit back there is the louis duffel a louis duffel that's it i mean if you have a full-size golden retriever Puppies only. We'll save dog talk for the end of the show. Okay, I'm sorry. So Rostam is like, Jason, did you cop up? Ooh, is she yours? And I said, the podcast is making boxer money, not 9-11 money. Did he like that? He understood. He has yet to respond to that DM, but I think he did like it. I think he got it. I think he got it. He definitely got it. It's Sunday. He kind of sleeps in. I understand. You've got to stay up late to create that magic. You know that. Yeah, and I know on Sundays he doesn't like to check socials before he's gone to the farmer's market and kind of had his hike. Sure. Yeah, I wish I could kind of get that centered. Me too. But, you know, when I drive by the Fairfax flea market on Sundays and see the third-man record zip-up hoodie in line,

Just feel good to zip on by, you know? I don't think I'm ever going to go to a flea market or a Pasadena thing ever again. I like it. I think there's cool stuff to be found there. If it's 2003, there was good stuff to find there back then. But I think it's all... No, no. It's all been fucked up. No, there's still good stuff to find there. It's just like I'm at a point in my life. $480. Well, no, no, no. I think you can do it. I just think I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather somebody do it for me and me pay a service fee for that. You got up at 4 a.m. You found the shirt I wanted. Thank you. I love Simon and Garfunkel. Here's $200 instead of $50, and that's fine because I don't want to be around it. I don't want to see it. It's worse than the Maru Fitz Instagram account. Oh my man. Did you already find out who it is? No, but I was like, yo, we've been talking. Sure. I mean, it's funny. I was like, I'm afraid. I was like, no, I really have to start dressing when I go to Maru downtown. He said, you pull up in that Porsche, you can wear whatever you want, sweetheart. Well, luckily, going to the Maru downtown is a rare occurrence, I would hope for you. I mean, he's going to branch out. Unless I have a meeting with an Asian architect. That's a perfect place for it. He's got to branch out to Los Feliz because the fits are absolutely twisted, and there's 100 people in line at all times. Yeah, the fits in Los Feliz, it's gone too mad happy. It's jumped the shark. It's just people who. Well, the Mario location downtown is literally across the street from Mad Happy, so I'm sure you get plenty of that down there, too. Well, that's Mad Happy employees, not customers. What's better, what's worse? That's a tough call. A question that our forefathers have asked us. Whatever the Mad Happy of the 1800s was when they were writing this Declaration of Independence. Did George Washington rock Mad Happy? Four score and... And seven edible mushroom gummy adaptogenic. Do you think that the founding fathers were as concerned with mental health as we are? And I think maybe that's why we're in this predicament that we're in as a country. Yeah, I think those are the same forefathers that if you have malaria, they drain your blood and give you different blood. Look, you got wooden teeth, but you need to think about the mental. That's really the problem. Yeah, just take these leeches and put them near your kind of temples.

And they will suck out the bad vibes. The bad vibes have got to go. These leeches, we do sell them in a nice 10-pack at the Mad Happy Boutique. $120,000. This is not a collaboration. This is just kind of us. And this is a cashless transaction. Yeah, if you could tap, that'd be great. We're still in a pandemic. Yeah, what's the 1800s version of that? It's like... I guess you're trading a horse or something like that. No, I think the beauty of the 1800s is that people didn't, you know, they're worried about living and dying. Not like, I'm overworked. Yeah, there was no such thing as I deserve this little treat culture. Oh my God, that shit was amazing. Yeah, there's New York Times article this week. Every day you wake up and a Joe Rogan-style grizzly bear isn't gnawing on your left leg, that is a treat. You're not getting your Reese's fast break after you go to the dry cleaners if the bear... You know, because the treat culture, it's not about capitalism. No. So I like to kind of rebel against that system by purchasing a candy bar from... Just to clarify, there's a New York Times article about a trend that someone absolutely made up about people giving themselves little treats because now life's big successes just aren't guaranteed. We were talking about treats a lot with Girl Puppy. She was saying she makes everything a treat. She had a better philosophy for it than whoever wrote this thing. Yeah, she was rewarding herself for like finishing a song, not I went to the grocery store today like an adult. Like this woman is literally like every little errand I run, I give myself a Reese's fast break. So you're fat and you're not even good at running errands. Imagine rewarding yourself. And you're supporting corporate candy. Errands, I don't know. I was blown away by that. But also like, of course, like. That's where we're at. In these last two years of unprecedented times, you have to... We're still in a pandemic, Jason. I'm still getting my stimmies. It's all going towards my Reese's. Jason said, you know what? I'm going to take these stimmie checks, and I'm going to get the fast break instead of the Porsche this time. But I swear to God, Biden, if we shut down one more time... I fell for it. I'm getting the tundra.

No, not the Tundra. Yeah, you're getting the all-new 2023 Tundra. Tundra, that's a little dick Toyota truck. What would you get? I'm getting the Tacoma XL 4x4. Oh, I'm sorry. Fat cab. I'm sorry. It's the most turnt up juice stuff. I want a Toyota Tacoma that costs about $108,000. Yeah, no, I mean, my favorite thing about living in L.A., one of the many beautiful things is the amount of money that people spend. on mid-range cars to make themselves feel like it's nicer. Mid-range cars? Spending $100,000 on a Toyota truck is absolutely insane. They do that everywhere in America, though. Of course, but I think it's more prevalent here because car culture is more prevalent here. True that, true that. Next time I go to the dry cleaners, I'm going to buy myself a Tacoma. It's a little treat. Just as a treat. I mean, if you could find them. Oh, that's great. Yeah, you're right. These issues. But yeah, the treat, yeah, I mean, one of the person's, One of the treats that this person enjoyed was going on a walk. Like, as if that is a... I mean... I don't know. I live a privileged life is what it sounds like. No, you're just not a loser. If going on a walk is a treat for you, you've got to rethink what's going on. You're already in the metaverse if going on a walk is a treat for you in the real world, not a virtual world. No, that's too twisted, man. That's too pathetic. As someone who's old enough and knows better, works at the New York Times and is... And something like that comes across their desk. They should be like, what the fuck? Get this fucking bullshit out of here. We're doing exactly what they want us to do right now. I know. And people are going to Google it and they're going to go read it and they're going to get mad and maybe talk about it. Or maybe they're going to feel seen. A big old plate full of cacio e pepe just sitting there on the windowsill. One of those nice blueberry pies that Linda Black makes sitting on the windowsill. The New York Times puts it there.

I bet you Chris Fatah's going to love the smell of this. And wouldn't you know it? And then you go over there, slams that windowsill in those hands. Gotcha. No, I bite. And you know what? There's nothing I can do about it. That's my little treat. Yeah, you're simply a squirrel trying to get his nut, which is a treat in its own, isn't it? That's right. I had an interaction right before I got here. Okay, so Sunday morning. It's early, gloomy outside. It's a little gloomy. I finished my first workout. I'm showered. I'm in my tennis clothes, heading to the car with my podcasting bag, and I'm ready to go. You have your podcasting bag. I look to my left, and I see some loser in his chick with a bag of dog shit opening my... And I say, Hey, man, why don't you put that dog shit somewhere else? Okay. His response was, is this your house? Why the fuck would I care if it's not my house, bro? This guy looked torched, too. The full thing. Ponytail with the hat on. The girlfriend was wearing fucking Spongebob. Were you standing on your house property? Or were you on the sidewalk? I had walked past the house property and did a look back at it and saw him. And he kept staring at me. What do you want to do? Bro, I'll fucking kill you, bro. Get the fuck out of here. He was like staring at me like he was so stunned by it. And I'm like, it's a known thing that people don't like this. Yeah. And then he took his shit and he walked off like a bitch. Like every dog owner. No offense. A respectful bitch. I mean, would you have preferred... I would have preferred to get into a fight with him. Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like. Yeah, I would have preferred. You would have wanted it to be a real showdown, a standoff. Everyone's squinting the eyes. I would have wanted that to end with me sitting on his chest, rubbing the shit into his face while his girlfriend in her dirty-ass pajama pants couldn't stop me because I'm just hulked out. The bottom of her SpongeBob pants is all frayed and torn, and she's filming it yelling.

World star. She's filming it. And if the cops come, I'd say, take me away. I'm guilty. I'm guilty for protecting my land. You know what? If that's where we're going to go. This is good. This is good. I mean, because these scenarios I think about all the time because I share most of your mentality because I, you know, just out of sheer boredom, just to entertain myself on my treat walks, I will, like, imagine a scenario where I, you know, pound somebody on the sidewalk. I'm a man at the end of the day. We're just animals. We can't control these urges. We descended from monkeys. That's right. Stuff like that. A part of me imagines I would love to be that guy. Then some guy comes out of his house and says, bro, put that shit elsewhere. I have the trash cans open. The bag is in my hand. I'm looking at him. I'm sizing him up. I'm like, does he have a sword? Does he have a gun? Does he know how to use the gun? So do you think this guy sized me up and said, I don't want the smoke? I think so. I think that is what happened. Because if he did want the smoke, or if he did believe that you were not really going to scrap, as it were. We live in a post-slap world now. Everybody can get it. Everybody can get it. Violence is accepted now by the academy and by the public. And I'm not talking about, I'm not going to shoot the guy. I'm not going to run over my car. I'm just going to let him know that his behavior is unacceptable. And if he wants to challenge that, then we can do that. I want to be holding that bag. I want the trash can, the fine Los Angeles County trash can, to be empty. Nothing else to cushion the blow. And I want him to drop it. And it's dropping in slow motion. Like Tom Cruise coming down the rope to steal something in Mission Impossible, Ghost Pro. And that thud hurt around the world. If I would have heard the thud, I would have ran over there. I would have taken my Birkenstocks off so I could run, run over there, and then I would have tipped his ass upside down into the trash can. I would have put his physical body into the trash can. That's where I was going. Head on shit. Head on shit. You don't want to catch a real case, like a felony assault case. You want to do the most humiliation. Yeah, it's like a swirly. And lessen...

learning yeah you you are going to learn today ponytail and you're gonna yeah you're gonna drop him down head first the lid goes on and then he's gonna kind of have to do a little side to side you'll have to tip the trash can over to get out of it which is humiliating anyway i've had an action-packed morning this is gonna be the longest day of my life so i'm glad i started out with a little um i chose violence that's good but also the problem i mean I could go in because there's so many times where I drop shit into someone's trash can and the owner of the house comes out to yell at me and I'm like, what are you going to do? I never say like, what are you going to do? Do you want to fight me? Because it's always like a 67-year-old woman. But my logic is always like, would you prefer that I left the shit on your lawn so you step in it? Or would you like that I pick it up? No, I think as a dog owner, you have to carry it all the way home. You have to carry it all the way home. That's your responsibility. That's the responsibility that you take on when you want to house a wild animal in your home. That's a challenge that you've accepted, and that's what you've got to do. I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules. Look, you're not allowed to steal stuff from Whole Foods, but some people can do it. But some people get caught, and that's what happened to this guy today. You just wanted to give him a slap on the wrist. I didn't want to. I didn't want it to go as far as it would have, but unfortunately I do have a temper, and it only comes out in domestic situations of that sort. I mean, I want to go to that dog. I want to unleash him. Oh, yeah. I want to go on the collar, slap him on the ass like a show pony, and say, yeah, and then where's that collar going, Chris? Do you know? I don't. It's going on ponytails now. You're going to walk him like a fucking shitman pony. Yeah, he's going. He needs to get his steps in. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated.

but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded.

Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. You come to the stop sign at Beverly in Fairfax. Guess what? We heal, and then we cross the street when I say we can. That's right. You need to obey your master. Chris goes into his pocket, pulls out a single unreal peanut butter chocolate, and just kind of... So you said we have a long day today, right? We're about to have a long three days, I think, that's going to really put the test on our brain. Personal relationships? No, I'm not worried about that. I had to get a sitter tonight. I got to get a sitter. I don't think anybody except how long gone could have this range tonight. And I like Jawbreaker. I do, but I don't care enough to stay. So it worked out that we can see Dando do It's a Shame About Ray front to back with a little bit of time to make it to see Charlie. So we're going to go wheels up at the wheel turn, doors at six, lemon heads at seven. That's enough time for me to get two hineys in me. Large, not small. Hopefully draft. Three and a half cigarettes outside.

And then as soon as Thank You, Los Angeles, since they're opening, they probably won't do an encore. No. Also, I think when you're playing an album straight through, you know? Maybe he'll do one acoustic cover at the end, just something to give you a treat. But we won't stick around for that. I hope he does the Eagles. Yeah, but anyway. He'll do his Hotel California on the 12 string like he always does. And then we get in the car and drive straight up into the Greek. Theater for Charlie at 920. I think this is timed perfectly. I think we'll have enough time to kind of drag our ass. We don't really have to be whisked away. I don't think so either. Let's talk about how dinner is going to work into this situation. Well, I was worried because I was looking at like helicopter prices. But now that we know, now that we kind of know that we have a little bit of time, I think it's better that way. I mean, we have to do something early and light. because I don't want to be heavy. I have to change into my Charlie outfit, which is a little sexier. The Mew Mew thing is over, but think that zone. Yeah, we're still in that headspace, but we obviously can't do the skirt right now. It's April. Yeah, it's not. It's going to be chilly tonight at the Greek. So that is another fashion problem, because I'm going to want to lean kind of grungy for the Lemonheads, of course. And then for Charlie, I need to – you know when you say like this outfit can go from the office to cocktails? Yeah. I need to go from straight to gay. And I think that's – Because I'm going to be backstage with Charlie, and this is the gay-baiting Olympics. No, it really is. This is the top gay-baiting event of the year for us. This is NBA All-Star Weekend. We are local club thots, and this is the Charlotte Hornets. the Denver Nuggets, all of them. We are five girls that flew from Macon, Georgia. We're sharing one hotel room at Miami Bike Week, and we ain't leaving here without a baller. We're sharing one fake Birkin bag that gets rotated every night. I got dibs on Sundays. You bitches slept. Also, if you want to cut this Birkin in half, it is a cake. It is also a cake. It's crazy how that works, but I think that we're going to...

That is something to think about. I don't know what... What are you going to do? Because I'm... I'm going to do my usual. I'm going to do my usual. Right. Luckily, your usual is already K-baiting grunge guy. Nothing is simultaneously gayer or straighter than a Canadian tuxedo. It's the perfect outfit. It's the perfect outfit. Okay, so we're going to go... You throw a suede coat on? Okay. Are we going to... So we're going... We're Mel Ottenberging tonight a little bit. Yeah, I mean, I always Ottenberg if I can. But you don't tuck in, do you? I don't. I would. Do we untuck for Evan and then tuck for Charlie? Because I do want to show my cinched little waist. Yeah, and also if you tuck a shirt into jeans, that means you kind of have to wear the jeans at the proper waist level, which will then reveal your snatched little penis outline. It's also just not comfortable. No, it's not. But we don't consider comfort getting dressed for a Charlie XCX. I wonder if she has any... I should text her and see if she has any costumes I could borrow, maybe. This isn't a costume. This is Dolce & Gabbana and I bought it with my own fucking mind. This is a gown. I'm just going to wear my normal clothes and then... As soon as we leave the Lemonheads, I'm going to put on my Frank Ocean Bug necklace. There you go. $85,000. I spent $85,000 on this Hot Topic Raver necklace that has some diamonds in it. Some diamonds. It makes me look like a hacker from 1997. Is this all diamonds? Some. It's some. It has some diamonds attached. Maybe whatever shirt I'm wearing in the car ride over, just to zip up Western, I'll have my shears with me. And then we'll kind of just kind of cut them. Actually, I saw this morning. Alex showed me a – Julia Fox did a tutorial where she's wearing – She has also a denim tuxedo. She was wearing a two-piece set where it was like a tank top on top. Obviously, a little under titty is showing. And then a short skirt. And it was actually just one wife respecter cut. Bottom is the skirt. Top is the top.

She said, Mew Mew is like, this is what's going on. And then she put down the Narcan and said, hold my beer. Hold my can. She said, hold my Heineken 0.0. I am going to show you. It actually tastes good. I'm going to show you guys what cool sculpting looks like. And it worked. Yeah, I mean, it's all done. It was $7. If not less, depending on if you get a three-pack. That won't cover parking at Mew Mew. No, it won't. Oh, man, parking. Kills me. How much am I spending on valet tonight, you think? 50? Does Charlie have an opener? Yeah. She must. A.G. Cook. I want to see A.G. We might make it. I want to see A.G. more than Evan. Don't do that, bro. I know. I hate to. I like A.G. I hope Evan's on tonight. You're going to spend 35 on valet. I'll split it with you. That's sweet of you. I can see it now. I'll split it with you. You got cash? Oh, shit, bro. My bad. No, I'll zell you at the end of the month for all the stuff I owe you. Wow. You bought me a cookie on the 12th. You're talking like a person who rewards themselves for a walk now, and I like it. Speaking of snatched little wastes and cool sculpting, I'm kind of going on the same route right now. We went down and visited our parents in Orange County and my life partner's mom. Was like, did you lose a little weight? You look good. Somebody told me that at the gym time. That I lost weight and I look good? Or you? Me. Oh, okay. They weren't relaying a message about me to you. No, they're not aware of you, I don't think. I don't even know who you are. Yeah, Marty doesn't know you. I don't even think about you at all. So she gave you a compliment, so you're going to keep your swag. Well, I was like, is it the sauna? Is it the sledding? I think it's the sledding. It could be the sledding. But then I was listening to some type of, I don't know, it was like a quote or an interview with Madonna, and somebody asked her, what's your weight loss secret? And she said, don't eat cheese and get liposuction. So I'm like, I'll do one of the two. Yeah, cheese is the devil.

All former vegans know that. Cheese is the devil. I only eat it on pizza. On a rare occasion. You're not like a cheese plate guy, but you'll just eat whatever. I'm not a cheese plate guy, but I think it's the little difference between going from good to great. It's like those little things where it makes you rethink how you're going to order your food and how you're going to eat. It seems like a fun challenge to me. How can I go out through my... I love eating a sandwich. It's hard for me to eat a sandwich and not put a little provolone on there or like cheeseless pizza, whatever it is. Speaking of provolone, I did go to the new – I was getting a coffee yesterday at Verve. And next door is Uncle Paulie's. Uncle Paulie's – the man himself was there. We had a great stop and chat. I saw my man Jesse from the neighborhood. I saw Zach. Did you hand him a small envelope full of 20s? No, the best part was he goes, oh, you don't want a sandwich, do you? He didn't even – he knew that I wasn't there for a sandwich, not even a bag of chips. I was just there to break bread with the legend. Talk about the rise of Deli Corps and how he just can't even keep up with production. He just assumed that you needed a valet, parking validation or something like that. You need a Mountain Valley or something? He said, while you wait. I mean, they're bringing it around. So Deli Corps was a hot topic over there with the boys. The New York Post coined it, and I think that the – for restaurants has been a thing obviously for a hundred years but then you know maybe like five years ago like the pizza salon era one john and vinnie's was like a big thing and i can't wait to get my john vinnie socks out you know they're not compression as you can imagine shout out to pizza slam but we we had every every restaurant has merch now like every restaurant you go to their like order online and it's like here's the the sides the drinks the dessert Here's our dad hat. Here's our hoodie. Here's our sweatpants. Here's our croc. We might sell you a sauce as well. And if you're Odeon, they sell the beautiful domed silver sugar holders for only $45. For real? I didn't know that. Yeah, that's right. Okay. I can keep my cat in there, Mike. You can keep a lot of things in there. So deli core is nothing. It's basically just like now we're pinpointing which.

type of restaurant gets the merch? Well, I think it's just basically if Pete Davidson does anything, we have to talk about it and therefore give it a name. And thank God the geniuses of the New York Post are poets and once again have coined a term that is good. It's going to stay. I don't know what else falls in that category. I guess like a Zabar's? Well, I mean, because the deli, you got the Jewish deli, you got the Italian deli. Do those guys like each other? Do those guys get along? I have a feeling they don't I think they can You know, I think it's delicatessen versus deli. Yeah, but I think they come together over a nice boar's head, and they shake hands. They kiss cheeks. There's some backroom stuff going on, I would imagine, between the deli guys. You eat mustard, too? I eat mustard. Fuck out of here. I fucking love mustard. Yeah, I could see those guys getting together in a backroom somewhere in Hollywood, trading secrets, talking about distributors. Right, right, right. It's like when Dr. Dre and Iveen link up a catch. You're like, what are those guys talking about? I would kill to be on the fly on the wall. What country is going to get exploded? All right, so if Uncle Pauly is Dr. Dre, then who is Jimmy Iveen? Cantors? Mr. Katz himself. Mr. Katz himself? This is Russ and these are my daughters. You want a celery soda or something? Celery soda. I'm Russ. These are my daughters. What's bothering you? You barely touched your coleslaw. We got all the dried fruit up there in the front if you want to take some for your mom when you leave. I like Russ being a hard-nosed steel union worker. The bagels were in the family. He had no choice. This wasn't what he wanted to do. This is what he had to do. I did what I had to do to put food on my table, but I love.

Thinly sliced white fish, red fish, or some orange and yellow fish as well. Y'all come check your little place. What kind of chips do you guys make the chips yourself? What kind of chips are these? Some kind of homo, no capers? I don't know about all this. You can't handle their briny sting? Fuck out of here. So I went over there, these pussies, they got no capers. So, you know, Cheese Free April is going well. It's April 2nd. I was about to say, I mean, no, it's the 3rd. Oh, April 3rd. That's right. I went to a Korean restaurant. Oh, they have cheese there. The Koreans have appropriated Wisconsin culture, and they've been using a lot of cheeses in their foods, which we don't know if cheese belongs in the Korean color. I don't really understand that, but I feel like it must succeed from time to time or they wouldn't do it. Yeah, they were... Doing melted cheese on top of corn, which is kind of like what my girlfriend ate when she came home from school when she was in third grade. That sounds like some freaky hungover. She would make corn with garlic powder and butter and then sizzle it up. I don't know if she put cheese on it. I mean, the problem is that probably tastes good. Oh, yeah, it's good. I mean, this is not fresh corn from the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. This is from a can. This is barely organic. No, this is frozen. Frozen corn. Frozen corn is much better than canned corn. You can get a fine frozen pea and a frozen corn that will rival anything. I know you're team frozen, no Elsa, but I didn't go that hard. You should have noticed stuff like that. She would come home from school in sixth grade, and she would cook this meal by herself while her parents were at work. She would cook a full steak, sizzle it up in the saute pan, and then make garlic, butter, corn. And that was her after-school meal every day. Twisted, twisted. That's cheaper than Musso and Frank's. But my Korean brothers are putting it on the cheese, and they're also putting it on... Have we talked to resident Korean advisor David Cho about this?

About the cheesiness? Yeah. We've spoken a little bit about it. Does he like it or not like it? I think he likes it when it's applicable. It's very easy to turn it from, like, this is yummy, yummy, nom-nom, into... Why is there cheese on this? You've gone too far. When you have the hot Cheeto corn dog thingy and you're like, okay, guys, this is just for Instagram. Look, I think you're going to succeed at this. I don't think it's that hard as a person who basically lives like this, but I'm worried. We are going to the Big Apple tomorrow. Cottage cheese doesn't count as cheese. We're going to the Big Apple tomorrow, and it's a cheese-forward place. Oh, man. Those 99-cent slices. I know. I'll be like... But you can just peel it off. Yeah, but then it's a breadstick, so that's problematic in its own way. That's called pan-tomat. Yeah, I don't know what you're going to do. You're going to be drunk as hell. I will drink, yeah. And there's no cheese and alcohol, as far as I know. I can go to Sweetgreen. And also, do we count Parmesan as the cheese? Most of the milk solids and fats have been... Petrified by time. People don't. Yeah, people don't. From what I've understood. I'm not an expert in the dairy field. I went to your Parmesan wheel looking for lactose. They said, we don't know you. We don't know lactose around these parts. I think I'll be fine. When I'm in New York, I only eat. I mean, I'll just go and get blacked out drunk drinking martinis at some museum gathering. And then I'll go to my local deli and be like, let me get the Obama with no cheese. Yo, yo, yo, let me get the Obama. I'm watching my figure. Let me get the chicken parmesan, mozzarella stick, avocado, onion, bacon burger. But no, no cheese piece. Yeah, and then you get the light and sweet. You got to get a cup of Joe. Hot coffee, 32 ounces, light and sweet. Extra mayo. They're getting carpal tunnel from the amount of fucking stevia they're putting into the shit. And let me get some of those voodoo chips. Yeah. I love voodoo chips. But no, I mean, I think that you could succeed at this. And I think that we were talking about this yesterday. I'll lose one pound. Why is it so? You cannot go to a restaurant in 2022 without making a reservation multiple days in advance or knowing the proprietor. It's insane.

Like, I was looking at – because we have some – Thank God we know the proprietors. Before the party tomorrow night, we have time for you and I to get a quick meal. I was like, oh, let me take Jason to Omen, a Soho classic. It's light. It's perfect. Nothing. Early on Monday. Early on Monday. Nothing. It's crazy. Odeon, nothing. Balthazar, nothing. Really? Nothing. I'll DM Keith. 10 p.m. You know what I mean? I just don't – like, are people – Well, Monday is industry night. I understand that, but I just don't – I'm like, are there people playing this far ahead or are people just sitting on times? I think it's both. Because there's no penalty to cancel, obviously. A lot of places, yeah. I mean, now there is. Many places you got to put your credit card down to hold it and they'll penalize you if you're on no call. Cut it too close. Or if you cut it too close. Yeah, I think, I mean, because every time I, luckily I have the privilege of knowing a lot of restauranteurs, fun word to say, impossible to spell. And I'll be like, okay, I'm going to Night Market on Sunset Strip Saturday night. I need a four top at 8 p.m. Surely not a – there's 50 people waiting in line to try to get a spot in there. And I'll send them a DM and they're like, all right, you're good. They just hold – they have to hold table. Yeah, of course, and that's how it should work. But I'm just like the fact that I cannot do it easily. I cannot spend 20 minutes on Resi and get out of there with what I want. on a Monday night is crazy. And you weren't looking that day. You're looking three days in MA. Yeah, three days in MA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is a bummer. It's a real problem. And I think that when you have a new problem that is created, like this problem, this is where innovation begins. So this is our new startup application. Well, you know what I blame it on is do-moi. Oh, okay. Because we went to dinner at Sunset Tower with John Mayer, Kiernan Shipman, and BJ Novak. We're just in a group. With a group. And friends. And friends. We're and friends? Mm-hmm. That hurt. See, the problem is, we're the BJ Novaks of normal people, and the and friends are our...

are the people who have to make dinner reservations four and a half months in advance. Because that's the only way. No, it's the only way. So I guess we're just not going to eat, which is fine with me. I mean, I'll eat on the plane. I'll eat my 7 a.m. breakfast. I'll take you to it. No, we can do a nice two-in Monday night before the... I mean... It'll keep you light and sweet. Yeah, I might not want to eat before, depending on what my outfit's going to be. I think you're going to need a nice layer of, you know... A base. You're going to need a base. I'm going to need a... Well... How many Stellas can one man drink? I rarely drink beer now. I only drink Japanese beer with meals. I know, but I think they're, you know, I think... Is this a Stella-powered activation? No, I don't think it's Stella-powered, but I think it could be. It's not off the table. It's not off the table. I'll get a nice base coat at Sweetgreen. No Zatar breadcrumbs. Oh, the Zatar breadcrumbs. Thank God they put the calories next to those. I know, I know. Because I love the crunch, but you've got to get it from a raw nut. Also calorie-dense. But since I'm going cheese-free, no feta crumble, extra Zatar breadcrumbs. That's not how it should work, Jason. Oh, I know. You can't do that. Stop giving yourself treats. You haven't done anything. That's not how it should work, but that's how it does work in my head. I understand. You're a twisted guy. That's why I can't fit into my long vault. I know. Do you want me to try those on? Right now, yeah. I don't have my headset mic today. Shout out to T-double-R, Chris's favorite online destination. You guys ever shop the RealReal? I just learned that you could pay $30 a month. This is not an ad. I just learned you can pay $30 a month to look at stuff before everyone else can look at it. That's so fucking smart. There are so many people that would pay that much. That's not very much money. I feel like I'm going to tell my girlfriend that, and she'd be like, I've been doing that. I've been paying that since 2017. Don't look at the shared account. Yeah, that's definitely a – I mean, I feel like they should only offer that to power users. You can't be no joker off the street. No, you've got to spend a certain amount before they let you know. Did you know that Substack is pivoting to a dating site? Did you see this? What? Yeah.

So they're linking up nerds who hate legacy publications with other nerds who hate legacy publications? I think they're using – like before it was like we use your looks and like your favorite song at the moment as a way to find your soulmate and life partner. Now it's brain. And Substack is like – And I don't mean talk. Are you a fiction bitch? Are you a nonfiction bitch? You know what I mean? You know what that says to me, Jason? Mm-hmm. Substack is struggling to monetize. That's right. Well, they're thinking outside of the box. They're thinking outside of the bun, but it doesn't sound like it's going to be successful. I mean, it's fascinating. I went and clicked on it just to see. It is fascinating. And it's kind of like you write a little something about yourself, just like a normal dating profile, but it's like, are you into fiction, auto-fiction, non-fiction, blah, blah, blah. Auto-erotic asphyxiation or auto-fiction? Auto-erotic fan fiction. Oh, I see. My Harry Styles blog that I keep a little secret. Harry Styles used his impossibly skinny Gucci tie vintage. Did you see his back was looking like Ben Affleck in Stillwater? Deepwater, whatever it's called. In that he has a large dragon tattoo? No, in that he's looking cut up. In his video? I haven't seen the video. I haven't seen the video either. Unfortunately, I couldn't tweet this because my mentions would get ruined, but the song is not doing much for me. Oh, jeez, Louise. It's a little mid. Is it just a song or is it a whole album? It's just a song. What do you call Harry Styles again? What's his full name? Harold Stylish. I don't know who coined that. I feel like that's a Rachel Taschen thing, but it's too funny. I mean, that's tough because he's two weeks away from Coachella, and he's like, I'm about to drop this shit. I mean, it's the most streamed song ever. Really? Or it broke the Spotify record, I think, for the most streamed song in one day or some shit. Golly. It doesn't matter. I don't mean it good. No, I mean, I just don't. I don't know. It's like a little bit. It's just like doesn't go anywhere. You know? Yeah. I was talking about this yesterday when Diplo said to us that fucking Mo Bamba was the last song that really went. I'm like, he might be right. No way. Mo Bamba is like throw a chair through a window. That shit goes. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there has to be some other.

There has to be. I'm the wrong person to ask, but that was like a, you put this on, this is going to be the song of the night. Yeah, for a while. He had another one, too. He had a couple. I don't support him. I mean, he's done. But I keep seeing this Range Rover in West Hollywood that has a Mo Bamba license plate. Confirmed it's not him. What lawyer drives that? Definitely a lawyer. It's got a chain license plate holder. Substack dating. It's kind of fun. I like it. After that Tim Dillon story about meeting with them where they were like wanting him to switch over for no money. These guys are lost. It's a dope community building. It's just dope for you to build your community on our platform. I think there's hope for it, but I want to see the before and after. Hey, I've met my wife and this is our life. You want to see plenty of fish style testimonials. I want to see who this actually worked on. Yeah, I can't wait to go to a non-alcoholic bar in Greenpoint where all these people meet each other. A lot of people use letterbox reviews as a way to attract the fairer sex. Jason, as you've said many times to me, Chris, there's no hot chick that's going to like the music you like. And you're kind of right. And there are six sixes listening to this right now who are like, I like. I love the verve. No, no, that's the problem. You know, because I've talked to friends like this who are like, I have very hyper specific taste in certain things. And it's so rare to meet somebody. Yeah. I mean, who matches that like, hey, I'm really into this, this, this and this, you know, like esoteric French cinema from 1940s. I'm into that. I'm into professional wrestling. I'm into this. Now you're just talking about Mikey, so go ahead. I know a lot of people who are into wrestling and also into other cool things. Very dark, but sure. It's a small window of people, but for some reason they do exist. Take five random things, and these are my interests, and these are my political beliefs. This is my sense of humor, and this is who I'm attracted to.

you put all those criteria into your real, real search, and it says no results found. Or it says three results found, and two of them are sold, one of them is on hold, and one of them is the ugliest thing you've ever seen in your life. And that's basically what you have. So then all the ones that are sold, those are people who are married already in relationships. So if you are so hyper-specific, and then you find somebody who actually comes up in that search history one time, and you're like, holy shit, this is it. I found my soulmate. And then you have to remember, you get the love blinders on. And you're like, I don't care that this person is emotionally manipulative. Maybe overweight. I don't care if they're overweight. I don't care if they're trying to drain my life savings and kill my family. I don't care if they're... slowly poisoning me every morning with my overnight oats. This guy is bad veganing me, and there's nothing I can do about it, but God, he has the best taste in movies. Yeah, and that's a hard thing to let go, but you can pull a bitch off of Letterboxd reviews. I'm sure that somebody who listens to this podcast has done that, and I'm proud to say I've never looked at Letterboxd, and I only know what it is because somebody mentioned it on this show. Really? Why would I look at that? I mean, you wouldn't look at it, but you should. People caring about other, like, the fact that people read non-professionals reviews of things, who cares? Like, I don't give a shit what some 17-year-old thinks about a Godard movie. Like, why would I care about that? Well, professionals don't really exist anymore is a problem. We're all professional critics of everything. But that's the thing, we're not. We think we are, but we're not. I know, but we're also this little pot meat kettle. Of course. Because we're doing that, of course. But we do it cool and funny. Yeah, we can listen to it for entertainment. I don't think you should take it as the Lord's word. Yeah, but I mean, if I love movies and I have these hyper-specific tastes in movies and I have hyper-specific thoughts and feelings about them, I'm like, I like this movie because this thing happened in the second act and it actually is an allegory for this thing and I really saw this and that.

And if you're able to, if that's what your brain did. Yeah, date a professor, bro. No, I'm saying if your brain does that and then another person reads that and they're like, holy shit, my brain does that. I've never met anyone else who has the same take on the same thing. And then you're like, we have to be soulmates. We have to get married. And I don't know. I don't know why I'm talking about that. It's a waste of time. But it's exciting, though. It's not, though. Why would you want to talk to yourself? It doesn't make any sense to me. To have somebody who understands your brain in a way that nobody else does, that's alluring to me. Yeah, I mean, cool. I haven't met anyone like that yet. You're not going to because what goes on in there, no one should see. I'm not going to. And luckily, I haven't. I mean, because if you do find somebody, then it's like torture, you know? You are stuck with that person forever, even if they're terrible, like you've seen The Bad Vegan or whatever. It is pure torture. And we're lucky to find life partners who think, We ain't shit, you know? I mean, people basing a relationship on movies or music or book taste is juvenile. It's like what you do in high school. It's like when you meet somebody at a make-out club. I think it depends on the book, and it depends on the take on the book. No, it's juvenile. That's not real life. Like, that's not real life. That has nothing to do with compatibility. It doesn't. It just doesn't. I mean, if you're able to absorb infinite jest and you have a unique special take on it. Okay, so you talk about it once and then what are you doing? Is that informing your breakfast the next day? Is that just a blanket over your entire life and relationship on how you process the world? No. But you could have that same connection with something that is truly juvenile. Yeah, Jesus Christ. It's just like, oh, or like I eat peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. The way you're talking about this is literally what religion is. is to people they're like oh this person believes in god at the same level i do that's all that matters we have to procreate that that's what you're trying so i like that would make sense if there were two christians in the world me me and this chick we both love super bad and think it's the best movie

So now we have to define our lives by the fact that we love Superbad and think that it's the best cinematic masterpiece of all time. You're looking at it on a macro level. I'm looking at it on a micro level. Well, that's why I'm right and you're wrong. No problem. Next. No problem. Next. I haven't seen Superbad. Is it good? It's pretty good. I was listening to this podcast with this interview. The guy was interviewing Judd Apatow yesterday. I thought Judd Apatow was canceled after his The Slap Tech. He's got a new movie out called The Bubble, only on Netflix. Great. He's so annoying. You'll like it. It's funny. But the guy who was interviewing, I think it was called Recode. Yeah, it's big. Recode's big. Yeah, it's a big podcast about tech news and entertainment, blah, blah. He had him on to talk about it. And the first thing he told Judd Apatow was, I named my sons Ben and Jonah. And he's like, okay. And he's like, yeah, because Ben is the main character in Knocked Up or whatever, and Jonah from Superbad. And Judd Apatow was nice enough to be like, you named your son after Jonah Hill because he was in Superbad. I mean, I love Jonah Hill. Superbad's a legendary movie, but it's crazy to name your son. Can you imagine admitting that? You're a professional journalist. You're a professional person, and you admit that. He's a guy in his late 50s who wears a suit to work every day. I'm worried, man. He has hundreds of thousands of followers. If you're listening, Recode guy, come on the show. No, don't come on the show. Go talk to your son Jonah about how he's going to get made fun of because he's going to need his father as time goes on. I think you should watch The Bubble, though. I fell asleep watching it. I'm not going to watch that shit, bro. Judd Apatow ain't shit. I think this is his best movie in a long time. You watched it? I watched the first hour and fell asleep. It's like a satirical spoof on a terrible Marvel movie franchise about fighting dinosaurs. Who's in it? I don't think it's going to help you out. It's a normal cast of people that you would see. Like famous friends of the show. His wife's in it. His daughter's in it. Oh, of course. Key and Peele's in it. Fucking nepotism. Am I right? I mean, they're good.

His wife is an amazing comedic actor. I agree. She kills it. But the whole point of it is they're filming this movie in London, and then COVID hits, and they all are inside of a bubble. Oh, great. A COVID theme. That's just what I want to watch. You'll like it. It's funny. Yeah, I love COVID. I think you'll like it, honestly. I believe you to an extent. It's not going to be better than The Dropout, but it's only weekly. What is, Chris? What is? Also, Bridgerton. I have to watch Bridgerton because my girlfriend likes it. Likes it. It is a full soap opera, but they do orchestral covers of songs. And every time the song comes on, she's like, what song is this? And I'm like, oh, this one's Nirvana. Did they do Push and Pee yet? They did not do Push and Pee. Well, that's a mistake on their part. It's such a slippery slope when you do orchestral or string quartet covers of songs. It's a cool thing for that show to do. It is. But I mean, when you do like, oh, this is some like Nirvana B-side from In Bloom, you're like, yeah, that's sick and that's tasteful. And it sounds correct when you're doing it. But then when you put it on, you're like, is this like, oh, this doesn't work because this is like a Lizzo song or like it's too current. Yeah, it's too current. Or like just because you can cover this song with a violin doesn't mean that it needs to exist. audibly from a violin. But that's the only music in that show, right? Yeah, pretty much. I've been listening to music, Jason. I've been listening. To Maren Morris. God damn it. And it's crazy how good it is. And it's just a reminder. Also, she needs to change her name. That's not a star name. Maren? When you start out country, it is. But I think that it's crazy. And I don't know if you've listened to it. It's literally... I listened to the song about tall guys. It's what Kacey Musgraves should have been. The second album should have been this. And unfortunately, she linked up with Troye Sivan and made a fucking stinker. Can you believe how big of a flop that was? Like, it went away in a week. She was huge. She was huge. I mean, I'm sure the tour still sells out and shit. It's no big deal. But like...

That's got to be one of the worst flops in history. Play the other album. It's got to be one of the worst flops in history. Beloved. I think because when the first country album comes out, you're making it with 13-year-olds in mind. No. When I listen to the Maren Morris compared to Kacey Musgraves, the lyrical content for Kacey Musgraves is for a 21-year-old gay guy or a girl who lives in Tennessee. who's going to college. It's a little more adult-themed, but it's still kind of elementary. Once again, your issue here is that you're listening to lyrics, but go ahead. And then the Maren Morris song, it's like, oh, this is for fifth and sixth graders. No, it's not. Country songwriting is simple. That's the whole point. Yeah, I know. I don't think the Kacey Musgraves stuff is that complex. Yeah, I mean, adding one plus one is also simple, but you need something more if you get older. And I think, and that's why, you know, and there's many adults well into their 40s, 50s, and 60s who still have, you know, the mental capacity of a fifth and sixth grader in terms of lyrical comprehension. Once again, lyrical content is your issue. Okay, well, I mean, the music, I listened to the song about tall guys, and it's, what, three chords on an acoustic guitar. Yeah, but it's three catchier chords. than a lot of other people and she's saying like normal guys are cool but i like guys that are tall that's cool how could you not relate to that that's relatable lyrics for you you know she said she wants to sit on your shoulders bro and you can reach tall stuff that's good that's good stuff it really is like a sixth grader and then when i and that's for and female country artists eons ahead of male country artists in terms of lyrical content would you hear that one there's this like every every millionaire huge stadium selling out country male artist is like this is a song about beer this is a song about trucks this is a song about going to the river those are life's simple pleasures jason and those are did you hear that what's his name though the big i think eric church the big fucking country guy had a sold out like arena show and he canceled it because his favorite college basketball team is in the final four and the game is that night and he's totally he was just like yeah sorry like i gotta watch the game jesus he's probably a duke boy

I know. I know. No, he is. He is. But I was just like, to tell your fans that is insane. That's a great power move. Honestly, I like it. I mean, I'm sure that people will complain, but still, obviously. People will complain, but also it's kind of like, hey, I wanted to watch the game too. Oh, that's a good point. I got a lot of money rolling on me. I know. I'm going to have to have the Grammys tonight on the live stream. You'll have it in your earpiece. In the Escalade. I'm going to have to get the one with the TVs in the back of the seats. So I can kind of – the Lincoln Navigator with the TVs. Grammys are in Vegas, right? Yeah, and there's some issues apparently. New York Post is reporting it's a dump. I'm like, yeah, bro, Vegas is a fucking dump. So New York Post is like, wow, we went to Vegas and won't get out of the car. I think it's just like people are like – the stylists are like, what? We can't get around. There's no tailors. It's like when everything has to be brought in, how much more difficult that is than stuff like being around and part of the city. I mean, it's like doing a... It's like Burning Man. It's like filming a movie in the middle of the forest and complaining that there's no electrical outlet or Wi-Fi. Well, but it's a real city. It's like a real city, but they can't even get car services. What are you going to do? I mean, you can get cocaine. You can get... A sex worker. Don't worry. Silk Sonic, the number one industry plant, is performing. If Silk Sonic and her just made a record together, called industry plant, and then disappeared. But Silk Sonic has, what's his name in it? Anderson Paak? Bruno. Yeah, Bruno Mars is literally like, he's top, bro. He's what? He's the top. He was. This Silk Sonic thing's taking his stock down. They ain't got no hits. No, it sucks. I was in Orange County yesterday at an Instagram bakery, and there's a full adult man wearing a brand new Silk Sonic t-shirt. You know, like you would wear in middle school, you know what I mean? Just like a guy who's 27. Do you think he copped at the show? Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Was it a full color, kind of like it had their faces on it type of thing? Oh, yeah. It was kind of like the old classic, like a Lil' Kim concert t-shirt. It was meant to be like a bootleg one. I love that people... It may have had sequins on it. Anderson .Paak, people are like, but he plays the drums. I'm like, yeah, he's a talented musician that makes music that I never want to listen to. Why are you impressed that a musician can play an instrument? The bar is too low. The bar is too fucking low. Let's talk about his beanies if we want to talk about something. Yeah, I mean, there's so many. The guy's a fucking genius. He's incredible. I get it. What a great drummer. Yeah, but who wants to watch that? Who cares? Not even who wants to watch it, who wants to listen to it. Watching somebody play drums, I do like. I'm sure the drummer for Sting is just as good. Don't talk about Stuart Copeland like that. He's an incredible drummer. Much better than Anderson .Paak. Nobody gives a shit. He has a bigger grasp on percussion as a whole. Wow. I've seen the police. You're really in your little bag. I saw the police at Madison Square Garden, and this motherfucker had a, like, he was playing drums, but he was fully 360 degrees surrounded by percussion. He could reach behind him, he could reach up to the left to the right, and there was something to hit. I'm not talking about a China symbol like at a chokehold show. I'm talking about chimes, bongos, the whole shit. Wow, coffee's really hitting, isn't it, Chris? I like that. I like it a lot. So yeah, we mentioned that we're going to New York, but we didn't really mention it. Yeah, I mean, we're going... This time today, we're going to be in New York at an event. It's chilly there. No, it's not that chilly. It's in the 50s. It's not that bad. You need to bring pants, though. I know. Dude, my shorts game has been slipping. What do you mean? I wear pants every day now. You got to course correct. It's fucked up. We can't do this. I don't know what to do. No, we're doing a quick trip to New York, and it's for a purpose. It's a walkthrough. It's a walkthrough. We're going for a walkthrough. We finally got booked for a walkthrough. If you see us in New York, say hi. Thanks to our friends at Calvin Klein. We can't wait to celebrate with you. Do you like celebrating, Jason? Oh, yeah. Do I want to get blacked out on a Monday, then the next day record a podcast, spend all day editing, and then go back on an airplane to go home the next day?

Well, think about me, Jason. I was in New York just a few days ago. Could have just stayed. I have an apartment there. It could have been fine. But instead, I came back. I dealt with a contractor, worked out, and now I'm just getting back on the plane. Leave it to us to complain about flying across the country first class and getting put up in a hotel to stand around at a party for an hour. We'll find a way. I can complain about anything. That's kind of my whole thing. All right. Are we good? Yeah, I think we're good. We don't have any... No, the tickets, I think there's a few tickets left for Toronto. Toronto's pretty much sold out. We got some other dates coming up soon. We bought our plane ticket for Toronto. It's really happening now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My Delta app says Toronto, 37 days. That's right, 37 days away. We'll pick out a hotel soon. Unfortunately, I think the Four Seasons is a little out of our budget. Even though it's a Canadian company, I love to support those local businesses. Speaking of local business, if you sell drugs in Toronto, I don't like to fly international with flour or coke. Don't worry. I'm sure touch base. I, my deep connections to the community in the six, uh, will, you know, I, you know, I think that we could probably, if Drake's out of town, there are some guest rooms. Okay. You know, it's a little out of the way. Bridal path is like a little far, but it's worth it. It's worth it. I think it'd be worth it for you. Cause I know you're kind of like a, you like velvet, you know? Oh yeah. So there's a velvet room there. It's kind of like a black OVO velvet. I don't want to see the black light in the velvet room. I also don't. Because you can scrub. But you can't clean. No. All right. How long gone? Get those tickets if you're in Toronto. There's a few left. We'll see you tonight at the Greek, at the Wiltern. We'll see you in New York. We're touching the street.

Sound and vision.