500. - Andy Cohen

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? 500. I never thought we'd make it, Jason. We're not going to take a trip down memory lane. We only look forward. How's it going, Chief? I'm sure Andy, our guest today, has done more than 500 episodes of his show because he does five a week. So he's like 500. I do 500 a month. What are you talking about? That's cute for you guys. I do 500 a month with drunk women yelling at me. So think about how hard I have it. Yeah, no, I agree. I don't need to take a trip to memory land. 500 does feel like some sort of achievement, I guess. And, you know, it's a perfect send-off before we take a little break. for them Jean's nuptials that are happening in the beautiful country of Italy. You guys might know them for their pasta. We have to take a break because it's mandated by Jason's future wife. So this should tide you over, though, right? Wouldn't you think, Jason? Yeah, I think I'm going to get all my ya-ya's out on the Tuscan countryside. It is, I mean... You know, we've been working really hard at this podcast for the last 500 episodes. So, you know, at certain points you do need to take a break or else it'll really actually start affecting the quality of the work. And we don't want to.

get into that level where you're just kind of like mentally not there and phoning it in. So we do have to stay fresh, but we also do have to have, we have to experience life, real life. And, you know, so we can have real life things to talk about. Yeah, that's not true. I experienced real life last night at a new New York hotspot called rafts. Wait, it's called Rats, like the animal? No, Raff, R-A-F-S. It's on Elizabeth Street next to Tom and Jerry's. Got it. Very, very sexy, old-school branding. But I wanted to talk about a dish I had there because I've never thought about this food in a way that would transport me. But I had some cabbage last night, Jason, that sent me over the moon. And I didn't know cabbage could taste like that. And I'm not even, I'm not, I don't have the preparation in front of me. It did have some sort of nut for crunch. It had been braised, you know, maybe in a hearth. Yeah, I was going to ask this. I had a feeling it was going to be braised. And I like that you pulled out the H word. That was cute. I mean, cabbage notoriously will take on the flavor of whatever it's laying in the hearth with. Okay, okay. It's like tofu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, do you know any of the flavors that it was dancing with? Or is this just you blacked out? I have no idea what Raph was doing to you. I mean, I blacked out a little bit, but I think that it had like a... Hold on. You know what, Jason? I'm going to do it for you. Beyond yummy. I need some adjectives. Okay, beyond. You can look it up. I'm looking it up right now. Okay. From our hearth. Pull up the resi. Caraflex cabbage with lentils and walnut pesto. Oh, magnifique. Okay. What kind of cabbage did it say? This is a term I've never heard before. This could be made up. It's Caraflex, which sounds like a multinational conglomerate. Yeah, I was going to say, it's not giving delicious. It's not a mouth-watering descriptor. Y'all make toothpaste? What y'all make over there? Y'all make toothpaste? You make notebook paper? Yeah, this Procter & Gamble Farms cabbage, lightly braced in essence of pastrami.

I like Procter & Gamble Farms. That's good. Okay, so this was a yummy cabbage. This wasn't a cabbage that you could eat as a main dish, right? This was just an appetizer? No, it accompanied a fish, but the pasta was great. They double as a bakery, so the bread basket was absolutely over the moon. I don't want to gush too much, but it was good. Actually, I want to talk to him. I want to talk to Andy about this a little bit because I heard him mention it, you know, sort of a yes and or a no and as it pertains to the rise of bread baskets that are not complimentary, you know, like the $18 bread basket. Us in the industry, Jason, we don't call it a bread basket. We call it a bread service. So I would just kind of, just for you to know. Learn something new every day. Thanks, Buster. How is your packing going? Are you ready? Are your suits pressed? Are you mentally there? How is it feeling right now for you? I have not packed yet. No need to press the suits because they are still in the garment bag from the custom tailor, so they pressed. I do need to do, at some point, a little kind of fashion show try-on sesh. Kiki with my fiancée, where she yes or knows all of my looks. but I just haven't had time to do that yet. So maybe it'll probably happen maybe 45 minutes before we go to the airport, maybe 2 a.m. Okay. 2.45 a.m. session will do that. Of course, of course. I'll live stream it to all my fans. No, no, I think a live stream would be great. I think Instagram Live suffered a slow death after COVID, but I think Vim Jeans could bring it back. Much like he did the suffering real. Oh, yeah. What I've done for the real community. I'm glad that you're feeling prepared. When do you guys leave? Do you leave Monday? We leave Sunday, 6 a.m. flight, layover in New York, and then off to Rome. Okay. But, yeah, I'm so unprepared. I'm so unprepared because we're making all these podcasts. We're doing like four this week, getting stuff banked for when we leave, and then.

taking on the impossible task of making my own DJ set happen ahead of time. Yes, of course. Uh, is one of those fun, awesome ideas that sounded great in my head and now is proving to sort of be crumbling my psyche as a human being. Uh, cause the pressure is, I mean, it really is just like, all you have to do is make the world. perfect wedding dj set but for your personal wedding and you also have to make sure to include songs that your girlfriend future wife as well as all of your friends and family will all like and it's so much i'm putting way too much pressure on myself just look for carolyn just put in some like julian casablancus and the voids b-sides she'll be happy the rest of us we like yeah but we don't we don't give a shit i wish it were that easy but i don't want to hear Julian Casablancus and the Voids. Okay, well, sometimes, Jason... I want to hear three Stroke songs and that's it. Well, I hate to tell you this, Jason, but you might be in for a doomed future because, you know, I think marriage is about compromise. So if you're not willing to put Casablancus and the Voids on, we might be starting this thing off on the wrong foot. Something to think about. Don't you try to school me on compromise, Chris. You learned all of your compromise from me. That's true. Not in the boardroom. In the bedroom. Yeah, of course. Yeah, you taught me compromise play. I think that what you could do now is maybe call an audible at the last minute, send the file to someone and say, look, I just can't. I can't do this anymore. You get where the vibe is going. Finish this. I don't think that's out of the question is all I'm saying. It'll stay between me, you, and the millions of people that listen to this podcast. I can't do that because that's the weird, funny thing. And I actually have this as a note to talk to my therapist about it today, which for some reason I scheduled a therapy even though I don't have any time for it. We make time for mental health, et cetera, et cetera, blah, blah, blah. But it's one of those things where there are very few things in life where it has like this level of pressure and like you got to do a good job. And usually it's for like a work thing or a career thing or for something thing, going into relationships or whatever.

But this is the one thing where there's no... I'm the only one who is going to suffer the consequences, if that makes sense. There's nobody holding me accountable for this thing that also is only for me at the same time. So it's like a unique level of pressure. I'm having a hard time explaining it exactly, but I'm still working out the kink. No, no, I think I understand. I think I understand what you're saying. I mean, I think that something that I hope you've learned from me since I've learned compromise from you is delegation. And I think that's something you should talk to your therapist about, you know, because we all know delegation is a big issue for me, but I can't delegate in the DJ booth. That's just crazy. You know what I mean? I'm too much of a control freak. I can't delegate in the DJ booth the Them Jeans story coming soon. I think it's going to be amazing. You'll obviously complete the task. You have a whole flight to tweak it. You'll have your headphones. You'll be ready to go. I'm not that worried about it. This is the last thing you should be worried about. And I know we all have faith in you, the How Long Gone family. We uplift you in this moment. We're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Yeah, I agree with all of that, except you are not allowed to say we because you're not a member of the community, but you are correct. The community does uplift me. And thank you. I wasn't fishing for that beautiful... vote of confidence but i like what i caught chris thank you no i we look we have faith tj might not get everything done on time but he gets it done and that's what's important you're a get it done kind of guy always late but worth it wait yeah i get i get the job done it ain't going to be pretty buster we do have a guest today though which is is i feel like today's guest is the timing has been just kind of it just happened to work out this way i wish i could say that i engineered this completely to be episode 500 um but i i i can't take credit for that we big man upstairs can take credit for that our fearless leader and one of our white whales for this podcast andy cohen you know him as the is the architect of the bravo network all of your favorite programs he's got his little grubby paws in um he has a new book called the daddy diaries the year i grew up that is in stores everywhere he's got two

kids now so he can't party as much but he's still chiefing um hopefully andy remembers me from our night with john mayer he probably has blocked it out um but thank you to um long time friend of the show friend of jason i know me fry for setting this up on helping us uh land this and um i actually watched the vanderpump rules uh first part of the reunion um I rewatched it today with Alex to kind of get ready for this. So I hope that maybe you did this. Did you do the same? Or are you watching more of his hit show, Watch What Happens Live? I did a little Watch What Happens Live. I listened to Watch What Happens Live while I was hiking. I also listened to him appear on a friend of the show, Bo and Yang's podcast, Las Colcheristas, which I actually do like. His co-host is really good, actually. Interesting. I'll let you check that one out. Yeah, I like the co-host. He's quick and funny, and he understands the assignment, I think, and he might like me more than Bowen seemed to like me, but that's a whole other potty. That's what it comes down to. He likes me, so I like him. Yeah, I think he might like me more, so therefore he's the best. No, there's a special level of sort of just mania to listen. Like, I was on a hike alone. Yeah. Griffith Park, listening to the podcast version of Watch What Happens Live, just shifting and sifting through episodes, trying to find anyone where it was people who I had heard of. Because it's mostly just like people from the Bravo universe, people from all the Housewives franchises and Vanderpumps and Below Decks, and I don't know any of these people by name. So I listened to a Molly Shannon episode where she was a huge fan and she was good. I listened to the Top Chef one because Andy is also... one of the original EPs of top chef, which is my zone. That's kind of what's interesting about watch what happens live is that there's so many, like not Molly Shannon, but there's several a list celebrities that will come on and they like know everything they know as much as he does. So it makes it, it kind of humanizes them a little bit. Um, but I'm glad that you were able to.

to take in some cohen content because i've read his two previous books um because it's fascinating that he gets i think he gets massages every night as well you know and he he goes on the yacht with barry diller you know he's yeah he's living he's living a life that only we could dream of jason that's not because he gets to hang out with um it's you know he really he gets to do it he gets to do it all and he's and he's very rich And, you know, it's a lot to – you know, he's the king of all media. He's the king of all media. No, I'm not taking away anything from Howard Stern, but I think that's fair to say at this point. Oh, yeah, 1,000%. Yeah, I mean, the poor thing won't stop going, but – and nice enough to take the time to pot with us. So let's give Andy a little zoomy and pop the cork on this bottle of 500-episode champagne. Let's go. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated.

but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. All right, Andy, thank you for joining us on How Long Gone. And I know, you know, I know it's 430 in the afternoon on a holiday weekend and you should be in the chopper on the way to the Hamptons. So we appreciate you kind of taking the time. Yeah, we appreciate it. That's exactly where I should be. I agree. I'm sure – do you not have big plans for this holiday weekend? I have a paid appearance in California tomorrow. So it was interesting enough to make me delay going to the beach with my family until Sunday morning when I return from California. And when you say interesting, I assume – Yeah, when you say interesting enough. You mean that it's like a really fun thing to do or like an interesting subject or the amount of zeros were interesting? The latter. Okay, that's kind of what I would probably leave my family for a lot less than you would, but we all have a number. Daddy's got to keep the roof over the head. Exactly. I got to keep it going. Yeah. Okay? Yeah, if you don't do it, who will? Is it at least in the nice part of California or is it just L.A.?

No, it is in the wine country. Oh, he's... Oh, is it the... I don't want to blow up your spot. Is it the Bottle Rock Festival in beautiful Napa? It's nothing you've heard of. Okay. Wow. Okay. All right. Is it just like a rich guy's birthday party? Andy's doing a tight 10 minutes. Are you coming out of a cake? You're in the ballpark. Yeah. I like that. We won't probe anymore. Are you a big wine drinker, Andy? No, not really. I know my way around a rosé, but... I'm not a huge wine drinker. I don't love the bloat. Red wine, it'll wake me up in the middle of the night. I'll be dried out, hungover. So not huge. Spicy skinny more so. What do you mean wake you up in the middle of the night? You mean that it just something triggers and you just can't sleep the night if you had red wine? Yes, something in the red wine. I don't know. It makes me... I'll crash hard, and then I'll wake up a few hours later. Oh, I don't like that at all. I don't like that at all. No, I don't either. I didn't realize. I've never heard that feedback before. Isn't it great that marijuana gives you no hangover still after all the years? It keeps getting stronger, and the hangover never comes. Yes, sir. So I was listening to a podcast where you were mentioning that you're a 10-milligram Sativa Chiba Chewer, which is kind of like a vintage edible leading me. to know that you've been in this game for a long time. Has the tolerance level increased or decreased? Are you still just taking 10 and that's it? The incredible thing is, this is why I'm such an advocate for knowing your dose of edible. And if you find something that gets you off in a great way, just sticking with it. You always know the high that you're going to be. And I've really gotten into sativa tincture recently. And I take exactly the dose that I know exactly how I'm going to feel. And it's great. And it's not too overwhelming. And so, yeah, no, it has not. Yeah, I think over the years, I've probably used to get higher off of the chimichurri than I do now.

But it's still a good ride. I didn't realize it was such a vintage brand. Well, I just remember there's so many crazy new brands, and there's a new edible company out every day, especially here in L.A., but I remember Chiba being the first edible I ever saw at a medical marijuana dispensary however many years ago. Got it. I also enjoy weed all the time, and I have my edibles right here. This one is called Marion Barry. It's a brand called Wild. I'm just saying that, so they'll send me more free ones, of course. But do you ever have a time when you're on, like, vacation or, you know, you got some time off and you get, like, super extra high? Sure. Sure. Okay, okay. Yeah. Sure. Because there's, like, the work mode high and then there's a, you know, John Mayer time high maybe. Yeah, I mean, you know, now that there are children in the picture. I just have to choose my moments more wisely. No, that's why I don't have kids. That's called good parenting. Jason doesn't know how to choose his moments wisely. It's kind of a problem. I'd rather not. Yeah, it's so, in other words, if... If they're not around and I'm somewhere safe. Somewhere safe. I like that. Okay. If you're somewhere safe, you're in a very nice hotel room somewhere, you feel comfortable, you're able to relax. No, I mean, you can't be high if you feel like you're in danger. You need the set and setting to be comfortable so you can really enjoy that time. No, that's true. Somebody who's as busy as you and you also have two kids now, how many minutes a day do you spend alone? Wow. And I said minutes, not hours. Yeah. I mean, maybe there's 60 at the end of the night. Wow. That's honestly, that's crazy because Jason and I are both power Virgos and we need a lot of alone time. And I don't know if I could deal with 60 minutes a day. But I guess you've worked up to that. Yeah. Yeah, you build up the tolerance. I'm not ready to do that yet. But I've found that once I get the alone time, I only need like two hours of it, and then I'm done. I got it out of my system.

It doesn't really take that much. It's like, you know, jack off in a hotel, and then half an hour later, like, okay, we're ready for the world. You know what I mean? Yeah, Jason. Jason jerks off for five minutes. He watches three hours of diners, drive-ins, and dives, and then he's kind of good to go for a while. You know, he's kind of good to go for a while. Right now, I'm watching Top Chef. Top Chef, Chris. Come on. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got to stay on brand. I got to stay on brand. I apologize. I apologize. Well, Chris is a big member of the Bravo universe. He watches a lot of the shows that you produce, you know, and I'm... Not so much on that side, but I'm a big Top Chef person, so we're kind of coming at you from two different angles. But Chris is definitely more well-versed. Great fun. It's kind of an Eiffel Tower of all of your productions, you know? Yeah, just a light Eiffel Tower. I've read the books, Andy, and the thing that I remember the most from the books is your love of massage. And that is something that I also, I don't, I unfortunately am sober, so I don't partake in marijuana, but I do love massage. And I feel like you spend a lot of time on the table, as they say in the business. I did before I had the kids. I have a new book out, which is what I'm here to talk about, as well as anything else you want to talk about. But you say you've read my books. Did you read my? New book. I've got the new book, but they sent me a PDF yesterday, so you've got to give me a little time, Andy. Come on. I'm not flying through scripts like you. What do you want me to do? You're saying you spend less time on the table now because you have some responsibilities. Exactly. Yes. I just don't have the time anymore. Do you think your body is rejecting that, or do you feel okay? I feel okay, but I think my body is rejecting. Also, it's also rejecting it. Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, concurrently. Sometimes Chris will say he loves the world of masseuse and chiropractory and all those things so much that he might want to see what it's like on the other end and maybe get certified as a personal body work master or something like that. Have you ever thought about crossing the picket line and giving instead of receiving? Me? Yeah. Are the masseurs on strike?

No, no. I'm just saying, have you ever been like, I'm getting a massage? What ticket line am I crossing? I guess I should say a reversal of roles to where you're like, you know what? I love the art of massage so much. I'd like to try my hand in it. You know, like how my girlfriend did during COVID with ceramics. Right. I would like to dip into massaging hot people. Sure. Yeah, I think I might be more on that page than I realize now that you say that. But yeah, I watch a lot of these videos on YouTube and on Instagram of like body work and chiropractic. And Pornhub. No, no, no. Don't do that. It's not. No, this is G-rated. This is about healing the body, Andy. This is about healing the body. Oh, okay. I consider myself to be an athlete, so I need to kind of – I look at a lot of recovery stuff to kind of make sure I'm tuned up. I just see the healing they do and the power that they have. And it honestly, it gets me hard. I want to help people. Wow. I know. Andy can relate. I'm not a nice guy. Like I don't really help people. That's not my thing. But for some reason, when I see this, I feel like I want to kind of dip my toe in and become more of a healer. Um, I don't have that interest. You just want to be healed. Yeah. I'm a really good. Not only that, I have a miss. I have this. This guy, Adam Cook, has been giving me massages for like at least 10 years. He was giving me, he's so good. Once he was giving me a massage and I said, God, I said, aren't I a great person to give a massage to because I enjoy it so much? And he said, you're the only person I've ever given a massage to who complements their own ability to get a massage. Yeah, that might be a bridge too far. You're a master of receiving massage. Yes. Sometimes I feel bad because I'm really tall. I'm 6'9", so when I'm getting a massage, I almost feel like I have to tip extra because... just a square footage issue, you know what I mean? Right, right. You know, like they charge more money to wash a van at the car wash than a Honda Civic. Yeah, you're a 15 passenger in this case. Well, let's go back to the book really quick. You've written so many books, which is amazing, and you've even developed your own publishing house. Because of that, I was wondering how you came up with the name of your publishing house. Andy Cohen Books?

That's right. Yeah, it just kind of was right there. You want to keep it straight ahead. You don't want to confuse people. You want to keep this thing kind of straight ahead. Did the name strike you, Jason, as something that was curious to you? There was such an elegant, I guess, aerodynamic-ness of the name to where it's like, this train is moving so fast. You have a publishing company now. What's it called? Andy Cohen books, next question. And I like that, the way you're just speeding through life, you know what I mean? Yes, absolutely, yes. You don't have time to ponder such things. Well, I wanted to come up with a name that would make people think and reflect. It's kind of a multi-layered experience, and we need to kind of ruminate on it more before we get it. It's a distillation and an economy of words, the likes of which we've never seen before. It's true. But writing books is hard. I would say it's one of the more challenging things that a human being could do. We both have a lot of friends that do that, obviously. But do you find it just a different challenge than television and that kind of stuff, or is it something you, like, are truly passionate about? I am both. I'm passionate about it, and it is a different challenge, and it's very personal, and it's very you can do it alone. Much like masturbation, you can do it alone, and it's very personal, and it brings me great pleasure, and it challenges me, and it challenges my brain. This is good. I like sharing it with others. Okay, okay. I understand where you're going with that. The advance is smaller for jacking off, though. Yeah. But your style has become the kind of diary entry style, and when I heard you describing how you do it, it was sort of like, It made writing a book sound... Approachable. More approachable. Yes, yes. Well, listen, it's not Tolstoy, but it is fun and funny and escapist and a bit vulnerable. And I think for any parent, it is relatable.

And it's also, I think, if you're interested in anything relating to Bravo, I certainly pull the curtain away from it. And in a more conceptual way, I would say it is very much about what pop culture was in the year 2022, because it's kind of a front row seat for what's happening in pop culture. Yeah. Well, I mean, the diary style of writing a book is, you know, I'm not saying that that's like a... You know, the opposite of Tolstoy. There's a lot of other books that have that same style that are, you know. But I am. You don't need to say it. That book, My Struggle by Nasgaard, it's kind of like a diary of this guy's life for years and years. And if your life is that interesting enough, even just the minutia of these little things, there's just something about. writing that in the form of text versus telling somebody a story where you can just change it i i've been trying after i heard about your book and heard that you're coming on the show i've been trying to do that in my own life just like how's it going it's going well so far it's just like a group chat that i'll text my friends of like hey my dog bit me today or this thing happened and be like how do you take this regular thing that happened to me and only me and make you know make somebody get enjoyment out of that for like five minutes and do that this is just a big my my My current book is just, it's like a group chat with my friends. I mean, it's true. Yeah, Jason did send me a picture of his bloody hand this morning from a dog bite, and I'm worried about him, Andy. I don't know if he's got his shots, the dog and Jason. Like, I don't know who's good. Well, the issue, you can't see, but my girlfriend is kind of, she's not as tan as she thinks she is, and she got the POC Band-Aids, and it's a little too dark for me. So it has been an issue this morning, but it's like a funny little thing. It's like a Larry David moment. But if I were writing a book, I would include that and it'd be an enjoyable page to read. Yes, that would be a cute story. It would be a cute story. Now, are there Band-Aids that are specific to people of color? Yeah, there's Band-Aids now. You know, like when you're picking out an emoji and it'll show you a scale of like different shades? Yeah, same thing. Oh, wow, I did not know that. Yeah, you can do that with Band-Aids now.

Which is amazing. I think Andy's more of a Peanuts Band-Aid guy, probably. Kind of likes to keep it light and fun, but it's good to know. I do, well, because of my kids, you know. Do the kids get along? They do. I mean, there's not much that the one-year-old can do about anything, but yeah. I feel like one-year-olds, though, can make it known if they're not happy. I think that's part of being at that age, you know? Yes. Well, she's figured out how to push him away. So you mean he's... Like, he's trying to spend time with her, and she's like, bro, leave me alone? Well, he's trying to get in her face and mess with her. And she's like, no, bitch. Get in her face and mess with her? Yeah. Yeah. I think that the, yeah, I mean, my sister had twins a couple years ago. And at first, I'm not a big kids guy. And they were, like, afraid of me. You know, like they didn't know what to do with me. I don't live there. So I'm not I'm not like around. Well, they were probably reading your energy, what you were putting out there. Well, I was nervous, too. He was serving cunt. Well, yeah, clearly. Yeah, you were scaring them. Scaring the hose. Oh, I was OK. So I was scared. I think I was scaring the hose by just being a man. Is that what you mean? Yeah. a dirty man you need to change your disposition also i've noticed that when you're when you're like a tall large man and you're kind of bending down towards a small child on the ground it's very like holy shit kind of moment for them you know so maybe get down on the floor level why is the child on the ground well i mean i'm well we're all on the ground from gravity i'm saying this kid's one foot tall and chris is six four or whatever so you just see this big hand of god coming down to touch you and you're like ah you know no that's i'm only assuming but they don't bring gravity into it but what i'm saying is they've come they've come around now and when they see uncle chris they let up like a fucking christmas tree and now i understand now i'm kind of like oh i get this now there is this is like fun and they're cool and i can hopefully mold them into being um either musicians or actors if i'm involved in their life enough

You know, I want to kind of. That would be great. Yeah. That would be great. So now that they like you, you like them. Exactly. Exactly. It's like all my relationships. Once someone likes me, I like them back. What are you trying to impart on Ben and Lucy, though, Andy? Like, what are you trying to? Are you trying to let them choose anything or are you trying to kind of, you know, like give them some head starts taste wise? Yeah, I don't. Baby Shark in my house. It's pretty much all Grateful Dead. So just light child abuse, but nothing too crazy. Okay, I got it. Yeah, I mean, to me, I'm clearly on his schedule. He's waking me up at the crack of dawn, and so is she. So I'm on your schedule. You're going to listen to my music. I see. It's a trade-off. It's a trade-off. Yes. Okay. I have to get something out of this. Yeah, no, I understand. Are you a Spotify or an Apple guy, Andy? I'm a Spotify guy, but really, more than anything, I'm a SiriusXM guy. Okay, all right, all right. Which I listen to. Okay, all right. Well, I am. I'm sorry. I have two channels on Sirius, but also, so really what I mainly listen to are either my music channel or the Grateful Dead channel. It's pretty boring. They never let you down. Yeah, neither let me down, ever. What a crazy thought to just be like, I'm just going to put on me radio, and it's me talking to myself, playing myself songs that I have liked and picked up for myself. That I've chosen. Well, the funny, it's called Andy's Kiki Lounge, and I played it all summer long, last summer. Mostly outlaw country, stuff like that? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, listen. I don't mind some out. Actually, I have some Johnny Cash in the Kiki Lounge. I have some Loretta Lynn. That's an amazing sentence that you just uttered. We've got some Johnny Cash in the Kiki Lounge. The first time that's ever been said. It's not the first time. It's not the first time, actually. I've definitely said it before. Anyway, so the two things I have to tell you are that it was on all last summer at the beach. And Ben was having a play date with some kid. My son's name is Ben.

And he turned to the kid and said, does your daddy have a kiki lounge? That is cool. And then also we were listening and I keep jumping into the station saying like, I'm Andy and this is my kiki lounge or something like that. And he turned to me one day, he goes, are you Andy Cohen? No way. I go, yeah. And he goes, And so then he started calling me that as a joke because he could see that I thought it was funny. That's really good. It was really funny. Anyway, he got it from the Kiki Lounge. Okay, so what is programming the Kiki Lounge, what is that like for you? Do you just kind of like – They offered me – Genre? Like how does it start? The head of Sirius knows how much I love music and how eclectic my taste is. I'm as much of a Madonna fan as I am a Deadhead or a Aretha Franklin fan. So he said, you know, would you be interested in programming your own music channel? And I said, for sure. And I just started, you know, basically, and I started first, I was going to program by day part. And really what I said, well, I said this, and I started working with the folks at Sirius who program music channels. And they said, you need between, you need between like 575 and 700 songs that will be kind of the backbone of your channel. And so I spent a lot of nights during COVID high off my ass picking out music. And it's a lot of, it's songs that I love. Or it's covers of famous songs from artists, you know, like it's Dolly Parton singing Stairway to Heaven or Jerry Garcia singing. God, what is that Stevie Wonder song he sings? That's so good. I was made to love her. You know, so I had a great time and I got through and there are now there's over 700 songs and then there's a different DJ set every night from a DJ that I love. So it's fun.

And I listen to it all the time, and I pull songs out. I'll be listening, and I'll be like, I'm kind of over this song, and I'll email the woman who runs it at Sirius and say, take this off, or I'll hear a song that I love, and I'll put it in. I'm always tinkering with it. So you're like the manager of the Knicks. You're like benching songs and starting new songs. I like your stuff. Kid, get in there. It's like managing the housewives but with a music channel. That sounds really fun. I was going to ask, before you described all the process and how fun and enriching it is to your life, I was going to ask, with all the other things you're doing in your life, is the serious check worth it that much to pile another thing on? It is. But let me say this. It wasn't when I started, which is the lesson, because I started because it was organic and fun. And then it grew into something. Okay. Okay, Ben. Okay. Bye, Ben. Sorry. My son wanted to be on the podcast. So, you know, it grew into something that then, you know, mattered. And that's, by the way, that was the same story of watch what happens live. That was the same story of me kind of doing housewives reunions. I started doing all of these things because it sounded fun. And then they grew into something that became valuable. And so I think there's a lesson in that for someone. Do you, do you ever worry about the, the, the future generation of not? really understanding the effect of doing work for free as a means of one day being able to renegotiate and cash that check-in? I do. I think that the younger generation expects a lot. I think on some level, the way that the younger generation values themselves has to be a good thing. They have great confidence and they have great...

Ability to speak up for themselves. But on the other hand, I think I wouldn't trade the way I came up for anything. You know, I think that there's also something to be said for, you know, really doing anything you can to get in the door of somewhere where you're desperate to work. Totally. And, you know, doing it for free and supplementing that by waiting tables or whatever else. You know, there are some really disastrous implications of the way people view themselves today. Yeah, no, I would agree. I mean, I say all the time, working retail was the best education. Like, I'm so glad I did that. Like, waiting table. You have to learn to deal with people in this way that you can't. Every job is an education. Yeah, every job is. And it also makes you appreciate the jobs that wind up being good jobs. And it also makes you appreciate. having money and working for it and and the value of it and no i agree your value i think a lot of people are going to be upset when they realize that they're not going to be a millionaire from tiktok there's you know three people a year are going to do it not three million people a year right there's only so much room there's only so much room for success but i do think that the the major cause of all of this is definitely social media and the the main character thing that everyone has adopted for themselves and where that takes us is is still to be determined totally we have the privilege of having kind of one foot in and one foot out of those two worlds and we can kind of cherry pick how far into the world of social media we want to go into like we chris and i are not on tiktok at all are you on tiktok no sir i have an account which i had to do for a partnership i did with tiktok once and um I haven't checked it. TikTok actually, it's crazy, but if they write you a check, they kind of make you have an account. I don't know. It's a policy they have over there. Yeah, I know. It's weird, but I wanted the check. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. If you're doing anything in the world,

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how long taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. There's a runner towards the end of the Daddy Diaries where there was this trend on TikTok at the end of the year last year where There was a prank going on where people were telling their parents that a famous person had died and videoing the parents' reaction. It was fucked up. People were sending me for weeks Andy Cohen died videos. I kept deleting them. I'm like, I don't want to see this. Stop. Then one night, of course, I was so bored over the holidays. home with the kids and they were in bed. And I was like, well, let me see what this is about. And I got in a hole of watching people react to the news that I had died. And it was, you know, on the one hand it was touching because some people cried and I was like that night, but even the people that cried, I mean, they got over it pretty quick. I mean, they were like, they were really sad. And then they're like, Oh God, he has kids. And, and then they're like, well, Okay, what else are we doing? Well, it's not Tom Cruise, but it is still very sad. What else we got? I can only imagine just being high as a Georgia pine, sitting on the toilet, watching videos of people reacting to your death. Just beyond surreal. Yeah, I mean, I was off the toilet, so it was a little less surreal. I remember that, because that made like... That was true, like, front page headline. Like, it was like a big story because I feel like, wasn't it someone famous's child did it to them? I feel like there was one that really said over the edge. Yes, yes, yes. And I can't remember who it was, but it was like a celebrity's child did it to them about a celebrity they were actually friends with.

And it really did not. Yeah, someone did it about Michael B. Jordan. Yeah, that's what it was. It was like somebody who had been in movies with Michael B. Jordan. It did not go well. It did not end well. You're a classic New York guy. I live in L.A. Chris is kind of back and forth between New York and L.A. What are some of your favorite L.A. spots whenever you come into town? LAX. All right, look. So not really a fan at all? Because it means I'm going home. I'm just kidding. It was too... Okay, so Andy loves the Delta One Terminal. He loves the Delta One Terminal? Right, right, right. A little Van Nuys, hopefully. Where do I love in L.A.? I mean, I'm not a big L.A. guy. So when you come to L.A., do you rent a house or do you do a hotel? I do a hotel. Usually when I go, I go for... Very fast. I'm there to shoot a reunion. I go, I get there at night. I have dinner. I shoot all day the next day. I have a late dinner. And then I leave the next morning. I love going there. The times that I've been there, the time I was waiting for Ben to be born there, his surrogate was there. And I got to do Watch What Happens Live from there for like three weeks. And it was so fun because the shows were live. like seven or eight in LA. And then I could go have dinner and it was so, and it was during the winter in New York. It was, if I could go there and work like jam fab March, that would be really fun. I would love it. But, um, I mean, I love the beach. I love any beach. So I would probably say, you know, Venice or Santa Monica or Malibu. Anywhere around there. I like that there's a handful of people I feel like that are in the business that you're in that just decided they were going to do it in New York, even though L.A. is the town to do it in. And you just kind of held the line and make them come to you. And I really appreciate that. It wasn't even.

But they did. I mean, you know, I worked in news for 10 years. And, you know, all the news. That's here. That's here. They were all in New York. And then, you know, the cable channels really were mainly in New York for a time. I think, you know, MTV, VH1. That's true. They had a big presence in New York, at least, I think. What I like about New York is just dissolving into the. ether. I just like being able to walk the streets or get in the subway. You're one of 10 million or whatever it is. There's something about LA that makes me feel exposed, even if I'm just... I don't know. Self-conscious, I feel like being in the entertainment business in LA, you're always keeping stock of where you fit in in the ecosystem and where other people are. Oh, I didn't get invited to that. I used to worry that if I moved to L.A., I would become a meth addict or something and become holed up in my home. It's a great town to do that. I don't have any real negative feeling about L.A. Sure, sure. It's just not home. It's not home. Yeah. I love going there. I love going there. Yeah, I mean, it's fun. It's a great place to go for a couple of days, especially if it's winter. In New York, there's nothing better than getting off the plane and being like, winter doesn't exist here. This is really something else. Right. It's just so stupid to me that every time I go to L.A., and I've been going to L.A. since 1990, that my driver and the person who checks me in at the hotel tries to make a crack about the weather in New York. And I'm like, I don't care about the, I don't think about the weather in New York. I don't watch the weather in New York. It would take so, if it snows here, I love it. I love it when it snows here. So like, it's amazing to me that that's still a thing. I'm like, are we, is there ever going to be a time the makeup artist comes in? Oh, I bet you're glad with this weather. I'm like, I don't.

I have a little skin cancer. I can't sit in the sun. I'm fine. Okay, you're happy, and you want these losers to leave you alone. I get it. Just about the weather. It's not a good joke. Just about the weather. I'm happy that you have nice weather every day. I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want. Well, isn't it good? Because it's so culturally void, they have to talk about weather. That's the reality. There's no other subject, really. I guess so. It's all we've got, really. Yeah, right. You were talking about dissolving into New York, which I agree. I think that's why I love it. lot of people choose to live here is because you're part of the mass but I I don't know if you remember this but I sat next to you at the John Mayer show with Nomi and the amount of people that were willing to like approach you and step over me to like say something to you or whatever like during the show right i'd never seen anything anything like it before and i feel like that doesn't happen in new york in the same way that it does other places but you handled it like a pro but i can't i just i found that to be it was kind of jarring honestly yeah i think I think it happens more. It doesn't happen on the street like that. Mainly if I'm in my neighborhood, it would happen more at a concert and also at his. this concert people know that we're friends so yeah of course people are especially kind of aggressive i was just like damn these these hot white chicks are more excited about andy cohen than mayor on stage this is something else this is something i've never seen it's a shame i'm not straight because i could clean up i think no i look you you really could i mean And I'm glad that you realize the power that you have. That's important to know that and not exercise. Well, I don't know if I realize the power I have. I just think I could probably get laid a lot. I mean, so, but you don't, do you think that you are straight baiting ever? That is so good. Um, okay, let's dig into this. Am I straight baiting? Um, I think I would be straight baiting if I was.

If I was letting these women think that they had a chance at fucking me, right? Wouldn't that be straight baiting? Well, kind of. I don't know. I think you're doing it a little bit. I think you're doing it a little bit. You do. You think I'm straight baiting? I just think, you know, I just. Did you think I was straight baiting that night? Yeah, we'll talk about that off mic, but yeah, maybe a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I realized you weren't. Then I realized you weren't. Talk about it on mic. Let's give it all to the listener. There was a gentleman there with us that was with you as a guest, and I wasn't sure if he was straight or gay. But then I realized as the night went on that he was, in fact, gay. No, he was not. Okay, then he was straight baiting. Well, maybe he was somewhere in between. Okay, okay. So, yeah, because I was trying to figure it out, you know, just casually observing. And then as the night goes on, when we're at the after party, I'm like, okay, I got confirmation now. Maybe what Andy is saying is when the bait is that good, everyone wants a bite. Is that what I'm saying? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm putting the bait in your mouth. I'm sorry. That's what I'm saying. There's such a good backstory to that guy, but I can't tell it, unfortunately. Andy, I could tell there was a great backstory with that guy just from looking at him because there was – I did see the confusion. I saw the confusion. I felt like he was like – As the night went on, he – Came less confused. No, no, sure. I can only imagine. But I was just like, I was like, I literally was like, no me. What's up? Is this like, who's this? Cause she's like, I don't know. You know, I'm like, all right, well, we're just going to, let's just watch it unfold. But let's talk about the straight baiting. I'm trying to think about a way because I have said, and I do talk in the book about there's a woman who comes to my show with her husband and she is attempting to. have a three-way with me okay and well hold on andy hold on hold on are you are you a gold star andy or no i am but this is the thing this is a this has been something that's come up in my books because in my in my second diary book called superficial more adventures from the andy cohen diaries um out now on andy cohen books yes there is a there is

There was a situation that happened in Boston where a couple presented themselves to me and wanted to hang out with me. I'm making it. I'm cutting to the chase. But I literally and weirdly, I had a two night gig in Boston, that book tour. And I texted everyone I knew the next day and said, oh, my God, I'm going to lose my virginity tonight. Like this is going to happen. And I was so excited. And I do want it to happen. And I do think the only way that it could happen would be that if I had a fella there helping me along or providing, you know, attaboys and motivation for me. Okay. And so I did. So the answer is it is something that I'm interested in. It's not off the table. It's not off the table. But here is what is the question since Jason's brought it up. So is that straight baiting by me saying that I want to lose my virginity? Yes, it is. It is? Well, it's only straight baiting if you're saying... But what if I mean it? No, if you mean it, then it's not straight baiting. If you're saying it... It would be straight baiting if I was being performative, right? Well, Andy, the question is, do you think you could really pull the trigger if confronted? Like, do you really think you could do it? Yeah. Or have you created too many, like, as long as this, this, this, and this, and this happened, then I could do it? At a certain point, does it become impossible to ever reach that? I was ready to ride the vibe. Yeah. Okay. I was ready to ride the vibe. The situation was so Penthouse Forum, if you get that reference. We're old enough. Are you too young for that? No, we're old enough. It was very Penthouse Forum, and it was very... But what happened is that... When we actually sat down, when we sat down for drinks at the cozy hotel lobby with the fire going after I had made an appearance for my book, the woman was like a big fan of mine. And she was so nice, but she was such a fan that she was like really freaked out to be sitting there with me. You can't do it. You can't do that. I don't feel like this is. It's hard to ride that vibe. I'm sure you abide by the.

the age-old law of you, you can't fuck the fans. You know what I mean? It's an age-old... Well... I think it's different in the gay community, Chris. It is different in the gay community. It's different in the gay community. I mean, I'm only assuming... Well, actually, this leads me to a question I don't know if anyone's ever asked you. What's your type of women that you're sexually attracted to? Exactly. That was exactly where my head was going. If there's a couple male-female out there, what's it going to take to get the ball over the line for you? Minka Kelly. Minka Kelly is bad. She looks good. The thing is that you could have your pick. You're not having to go where Jason had to go in our lives. You start at the top. It's a different case. Well, I don't know about that. I think there are plenty of women that would be like, Andy is good looking. He's successful. And also, this is going to be the greatest story I could ever tell anyone, that I took his virginity. I mean, come on. That's A+. She would get a book deal bigger than you. Yes. I mean, Andy Cohen books. Why can't I do that reality show for Peacock, like taking Andy's virginity? Andy's first pussy. Yeah, live on Peacock. Stream Andy's first pussy on Peacock. But you need Derek Jeter there being like, all right, here's where it goes in. Same kind of vibe. It'll be a little different. Yo, it's totally cool. Hayden Christensen was just like in the room, but like he didn't do anything. Like he was just there. No, they would have to be a participant. Oh, okay. Of course. They can't just sit in the chair and kind of like it. By the way, I did wind up messing around with that couple twice. Wait a second. Okay, but what do you mean, but there was no penetration? Correct. Was the husband or male, like, is he bisexual or is he like, for Andy, I'll do it? The latter. Damn.

What an ego boost that must be. Yeah, that's unbelievable. That's unbelievable. That's power right there. I don't do this, but for you, let's do it. He's an ultimate wife guy. He loves his wife so much. I love my wife so much that I suck Andy Cohen's dick. Just to make her happy. Damn, that's so good. I mean, look. It's a beautiful thing. That's what writing books is for, Andy. And I know that you have an end game. That's what writing books is for. Yes. Andy, do you think there's ever going to be an adaptation of these diaries into like a – and just like that style scenario? Well, you know that – We did the Andy Cohen Diaries for Quibi, of course, the animated series. We missed that, Andy. It was so quick. You almost got that out of your mouth without laughing. But, yeah, we did not miss that. I had a big smile on my face. I didn't see that. Sorry we didn't catch that. Yeah, sorry you didn't catch it. It was super cute. Yeah, that was kind of – I don't know. Nobody is knocking on my door. pilot of my first book, which was my memoir called most talkative for NBC this year. And it's kind of a, it was kind of a wonder years type vibe following [redacted address]. Louis, closeted gay kid, heavily influenced by drama and soap operas with like two girls in my junior high class. And, you know, in St. Louis who were like my kind of real housewives at the time who were, um running my world and i was in all sorts of drama and stuff but um they didn't pick it up damn i you know that makes me feel good because as jason and i dip our toes in the tv pool the fact that you don't get something picked up makes me feel good i was like you know i was like you're not even gonna make a pilot out of it like they they ordered the outline and then they ordered the pilot script

And I thought, you know what? Look, I have a deep relationship with this company. I seem to be someone that they pay attention to at the company. Have a clear track record of success in the television world. Certainly they're going to make a pilot. And by the way, that was all I really wanted just because I thought I would get such a kick out of it. I thought the script was so cute. Yeah. And by the way. My parents, who are characters in it, my dad, I sent the script to them. They barely responded. My dad, I go, well, what did you think? He goes, yeah, I went through the script. I'm like, well, that sounds like you're going through a contract looking for something. He goes, no. I go, well, what did you think of it? You're like, I'm sorry? I said, what did you think of it? He said, well, I mean, you know, it was really long. I go, well, it's a half. Power comedy? What? So maybe our parents knew something. Your dad was a Quibi guy. That's the problem. Your dad was a Quibi guy. I like the idea that you called your dad and you're like, they're going to make a TV show about my life when you were raising me. And he's like, we're going to pass. But thank you for sending it over. Yeah, we're good. The funny thing is, I thought of the funniest prank that I was going to play. I love playing pranks with my parents. to on my parents. Okay. And I was going to prank them and tell them that they had passed the show. I was going to do a zoom with my family and I was going to have Jason Blum, who was going to, who's the, his production company produced the show. I was going to have him take him through casting and I was going to have him have my dad and everyone on my dad's side of the family be like these really conventionally beautiful people and then pass like, really like character actors from my mom's side and be like okay here's just gonna play that's good here's you evelyn and

My mom would – I just was so excited to do this, and then it just didn't happen. So we're thinking Clooney for the dad and maybe for the mom. It was going to be Jon Hamm. It was going to be Jon Hamm, and I don't want to tell you who my mom was going to be. Yeah, that's not as nice. No, it's not as nice. We're imagining who the opposite of a Jon Hamm in a female situation would be. Are you and Jon Hamm friendly in real life, Andy? You know what? We've gotten to be. He's from St. Louis, and I'm from St. Louis. And, yeah, we've gotten to be buddies. He's been on my show, and I run into him places, but we had dinner a few weeks ago, and he's really gotten into Bravo recently. We talked a lot of St. Louis talk and a lot of Bravo talk. Yeah, I was explaining to Jason that the beauty of Watch What Happens Live is like these, you know, these celebrities like know more about it than you do sometimes. And it's like a little bit like. I know. It's the great equalizer. It's fucked. It's fucked. It's crazy. Yeah. It's like it really touches everyone. And Jon Hamm, I wasn't expecting. Well, you're in the eye of the storm. I'm in the eye of the Bravo storm. Yes. No, Andy's in the eye of the Bravo storm. So then. you know, a Molly Shannon can come in from an outside perspective and have more thoughts than you have. Well, or have thoughts that, excuse my yawn, I am a yawner. I'm not yawning because I'm bored. Uh-huh. No problem. i truly i am i'm a yawner i've yawned in the worst moment i've yawned on my show and my guests will be like are you bored am i boring you you're like yes this is real house this is real house as a potomac i am fucking bored leave me alone uh there's nothing boring about the outsides of potomac we all do yeah we all do I feel like the yawning thing, you're saying, is it something that's gone on forever and you just can't control it? Yeah, I was once in a pitch. Charlize Theron was once pitching me a show, and I ripped out the biggest yawn, and she was like... Bro, come on. She goes, do you know how it's... She said, I can't think of a time where a man has yawned in my face. It was like 12. It was like...

12 years ago. She's like, now I know you're good. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. I think gone are the days where a yawn means I'm bored with something. You know what I mean? I think that's an antiquated situation. I think you're right. As we kind of continue down the path of inclusivity with gender and race and sexuality, is there ever going to be a real house people of New York? or any other city like that. You've talked about how that phrase, a housewife, is kind of antiquated at this point. Are you ever going to change that? It was antiquated when we started the show, and that was our big wink to the audience. None of them were housewives, as people thought of them as. But you never know. I mean, I find men relatively boring. To watch in a group? I bet that is. I bet if I checked your search history, that would not be true. But go ahead. Well, the men that I'm looking at are not boring until you orgasm. Then they become very boring. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. So let's be clear. No, no, I understand completely. I understand. Yeah, I mean, it is a good wink. Yeah. At that term housewife. Right. But I think that term also is it's like baked into our kind of. our psyche a little bit. You know, I don't know if it's even negative or positive. It's just something we all know. I don't know if it's negative or positive. The way Mailman is, too, Chris. Exactly. No, you're right. We have to change all of it, and my mail person actually just delivered some great packages today, so I'm feeling good. But I'll do the work, Jason. I'll do the work. Mail person. Andy, I was listening to you on Martha Stewart's podcast, and you were talking about how you and Anderson Cooper kind of share the same baby nanny. It would kind of go from, Like he would have a baby and then you would have a baby and go to your house and back and forth. Are there any other people who are kind of hopping back and forth between you and Andy's, Andy's and Anderson's? Are you asking me if we fucked the same guy? Are you asking me if we fucked the same guy? Yeah. And more words than less. Yeah. Yes. That's right. Yeah. Are you a homie hopper with, with, with Cooper? Not by, not by.

design. I would say, you know, we're both gay men who've lived in New York City for over 30 years, so I'm sure that there's some overlap there somewhere. No, I would be worried if there wasn't. I would be worried if there wasn't, to be honest. I would too. So, while we're wrapping up, we're in the throes of this Vanderpump Rules reunion, and I watched it today, and Andy, there's too much yelling. Yes. You know, I'm getting a lot of flack because I yelled at Teresa Giudice on the Housewives of Jersey promo for that reunion. They show me just losing my mind on her, and people are like, how could you do that and whatever? And I'm like, why don't you try sitting, listening to six women yell at each other for a sustained period of time and see... How many hours in it takes you to crack? I think because you've done so many of these. You have patience. I feel like you have to zen out and let these people do their thing. Yeah. But I feel like they're getting a little more confident in a way that I don't like. I think they need to be knocked down a peg. Well, guess what? So am I. I know, I know. So it's okay. They've met their match. It's okay. I wouldn't used to, you know, I didn't used to yell. I didn't used to, I would just, you know, be very calm. But, you know, I also think having kids, I think there's, I'm bringing different, I think the way that I was talking to James at that Vanderpump Rules reunion was very, you know, emblematic of the way that I speak to Ben when he's. misbehaving if you act like a child i'll treat you like a child and now you know how to treat children yes a little bop on the nose yes not physically of course yeah i think that the yelling i mean obviously that's what people are there for but for some reason it seems it seems elevated it seems like more well they're not i mean they're not necessarily there to yell they're there to confront all of the end of season issues and each other and so um but

Yeah, look, that Vanderpump reunion was, you know, that was, I think, the biggest reckoning we've ever had at a reunion because these people all felt screwed over by their friends of many, many, many, many, many years. So that was a very serious moment for them to say what they felt. Do you see changes when these people start making money? Because the idea at the beginning is they're not really making any money, and that's part of the whole thing. They have a job. I think sometimes. But the thing is with the Housewives, they already have money by virtue of being on the show. So I think that there was a very clear shift in Vanderpump Rules where – where four of the couples moved to the valley in these kind of modern farmhouses that were a couple million dollars to buy, which is... They had lived in these low-ceilinged, cottage-cheese-ceilinged apartments in West Hollywood for the first eight seasons. And suddenly, you know, you can't be like, oh, the tips were good at Sir last year. I killed it in a brunch. They're on a show, and they're starting to make money. So I think in a situation like that, yes. Because it's gone on long enough, so it kind of makes sense. That's how most people's lives are. Your career gets better. You make money. You get older. It tracks. Yes. Speaking of the yelling, as we're wrapping up, how do we know you have to stay zen when you're on the show? What's a tell if I'm watching you that you are often edible versus coming into it sober? How will I know? I would never go on TV high or on an edible. Really? Yeah, I don't think I would be good on TV high or on an edible. I just think...

there's too much that I really have to do. And I don't just out of respect to Bravo. It's so weird. Cause I do drink on the show and I do equate drinking and being high and I can, you know, I can be high, you know, going, I mean, it's just, yeah, it's something that I've never mixed. I just want to be as on top of my game. Drinking is part of the character on Watch What Happens Live. Yeah, it is. It's part of the experience. There was a time where we did Watch What Happens Live. We've done it in L.A. several times, but there was one time we did it from the Wiltern Theater for a week, and I asked that at Bravo. I said, I want to take a Chibachoo at the beginning of the show and say to everyone, I just took it, or I took it 20 minutes ago. This is going to be the first show ever that you've seen someone have the effects of it, whatever. And for many legal reasons, I couldn't do it. It's a great idea. I wanted to do it, but if I ever did it, I would declare that I had done it. Maybe a 420 episode moving forward every year would be a fun little thing to explore. Exactly. Get a safety net going. A nice holiday. Andy, thank you so much for joining us. This is actually the 500th episode of How Long Gone, so we're celebrating with you. Wow, I'm so honored. You're a milestone for us. Thank you. Well, congratulations, and I was sitting here the whole time trying to figure out if that was a Fleetwood Mac Rumors poster behind Jason, but it is Pet Shop Boys. Yeah, a classic. Wow, and Jason, you identify as straight. That's right. Yeah, I do, I do. But I like a lot of gay music. But you have a Pet Shop Boys poster in your... Pet Shop Boys next to my sauna. You want to talk about gay baiting? Wow, yeah. And I'm the straight one. I got called a straggot yesterday, and you got the sauna and the pet shop boys. It's crazy. A straggot. So is that what that guy was that I was with at the...

concert is he a straggle that's what i would call him andy i don't know maybe not to his face but i would call him that right now with you yeah wow interesting hopefully you see him again oh i'll see him again no we're buddies oh we're buddies okay i did okay good to know well i mean yeah we're pals sure uh all right andy andy cohen amigos chums Andy, thank you for joining us. The Daddy Diaries, The Year I Grew Up by Andy Cohen in stores everywhere. You can see him on Bravo literally every night of the fucking week. Andy, we'll see you soon when we come back to guest bartends. Great. I will be keeping my shirt on, but Jason might not, depending on what you're into. Yeah, well, we've got to bait some people somehow. Damn right. Have fun in wine country. Yeah, thanks, Andy. Have a good one. We appreciate you. Bye, Andy. Later. Thank you.