011. - Rio Viera-Newton

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Hello. What up, fam? Fam, how are you? I'm great, man. I'm great. The sun is shining. I'm hydrated. What's going on with you? Damn, what the fuck are you doing? Sorry, sorry. I just had to close the door. I had to let my life partner know that On Air has begun. I'm so sick of you being so politically correct. Just call her your chick, bro. We can't say I'm partner on this side. That ain't what we do over here. Luckily, I'm not on that side. I'm on my side. The right side of history? Some might say that phrase, but yeah, that's where I'm living. I've never wanted to not be on your side more. Do you think there will ever be a point in your life where you do call it? My partner versus my chick or girlfriend? I mean, maybe, but I just think it sounds, when I think of partner, I think of business. Well, you know, it is kind of like a business. Damn, you are a freak. I don't know what you guys are doing over there. We're splitting the Whole Foods receipt. and venmoing each other there's lots of business transactions going down oh god that's right i hate to see an interrelationship fucking venmo i know that's your your venmo your venmo shit ain't ain't ain't public right you keep that shit private of course not only a fool honestly though that shit i love scrolling the venmo timeline it's almost better than twitter instagram it definitely can be and especially if you have done drugs in your lifetime you know exactly which transactions are drugs i know i know that skiing means cocaine you're not fooling me yeah and i you also know that there's no mammothane open at 3 18 a.m that's the damn truth well i also think that it's um it's just anyone who leaves it open is probably dumb to begin with

So that makes it extra fun because you're already an idiot. So let me see how dumb you can be in public. Yeah, and I think if Venmo, right when you sign up for an account, they're like, hey, just letting you know, everyone will be able to see this. Do you want to turn that off? Then everyone would be like, yes, turn it off. But they kind of don't do that. They want the social aspect to do that. No, because they want it. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I mean, he doesn't love that. What else is going on, Teej? Just finished a nice long walk, a little 90-minute five-miler. You've got to stretch those long, long legs. I've got to get it in before it starts raining. Otherwise, I've just been working on this pod and just trying to scrape a couple nickels together here and there. In between. Lots of useless cooking and checking out my Instagram DMs of people being like, yo, let me get a bite and then let me get the recipe. I love when white dudes in streetwear say, let me get a bite. That's my favorite response to an Instagram story. Yeah, when I first started talking to our friend Brandon Wardell back in the day, he would always leave, let me get a bite. comments but he would do it you know in his own special way as if he really wanted me to like go to or invite him to my house to give him a bite of the food that i made man that's fucking funny actually wardell hits man wardell the voice of a generation we yeah we'll have wardell on this pod soon maybe we can yeah at some point in in april April Fool's month, we'll get him on. Well, I mean, the problem is, Jason, the calendar is booking up solid quickly. Who knew Chris would become this little power agent booking meister? I mean, we got to get him a parking spot at Paradigm because he is killing it. I'm more of a CA guy, but Paradigm, I guess I have to start somewhere. Paradigm's like the mailroom of agencies, so I guess I have to start there. Well, you know.

If you're dealing with old money, then yes. But for new money, Paradigm, I know you're kidding. I'm kidding. Paradigm, if you want to represent me for this podcast or Jason, just please get in touch. We're actively looking to take on representation at this time. Skrill dog, if you're listening. Also, just think about it right now. It's like Desus and Mero, but white guys. It could work. When somebody explained what... What did we say? I said if Deezus and Miro, but if the Timberlands had a Vibram soul on it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Yeah, that's funny as hell. White Deezus and Miro is us, which I guess is cool. I mean, we know about Graf and Nas. Yeah, I would like to know less about Nas. I go to Bodega also. I enjoy loose cigarettes and I think that's about it. That's all they do, right? Well, yeah, I mean, when you say bodega, I just assume you're talking about the streetwear store, but I guess you mean, because you guys don't really have those in California. I've never set foot in the bodega streetwear store. Thank you very much. You set foot in the 7-Eleven though. I know that. Yeah, well, I mean, in Los Angeles, we have liquor stores. That's true. In New York, you have a bodega. Yes, but you can't buy liquor at the bodega, so it's a pretty distinct difference. But in the liquor store in LA, you can buy lots of liquor and then everything else as well. No, it's great. I love that. But bodega has much better snack selection, I think, depending on how white of a neighborhood it's in. It'll sometimes have kale snacks that aren't even available at Air One. Really? There are some select Williamsburg type bodegas that I've been into that had a more impressive natural food health snack selection than any Whole Foods. No, that's true. They mark it up. They hit you with that nice little upcharge. If you just walk downstairs from your own building and you're getting some wild shit, it's worth it. No, it's totally worth it. I couldn't agree more.

I love snacks. I haven't been snacking. My appetite has been going down in the core. It must be nice. Actually, I'm maintaining the same, I think, actually. I haven't been going brazy, brazy. I've been doing kind of an extreme intermittent fast without even trying or without even thinking about it. I'm not getting hungry until like 4.30. well you're just tj that's because first of all you don't exercise that hard second of all tj you're just you're you're an extreme guy you love to fuck with your lanky gumby ass body and see what it can take you know what i mean like yeah it's true that you did that all meat shit like now you're not eating till 4 30 like you're probably irritable too probably a little bitch i'm i might don't get fed you know what i'm saying well i mean that's the thing is i'm not i'm not restricting myself i'm just like When I get hungry, I eat like a motherfucker. I'm eating big dog style, but I'm just not hungry as well. Yo, CB, let me get a plate. Yo, let me get a plate. Yeah, TJ is getting a plate. Let me set the record straight. Don't get it twisted. TJ is getting a whole ass plate. TJ is getting a plate, and it's wrapped in plastic, and it's going home with him. It's going home with him. On his handlebars. Damn, I'm chuckling now. Teej, make me chuckle. You better not put that salmon in the microwave. That's what my life partner says sometimes. Stop calling your life partner. I'm quitting. All right, we're going to call our guest today, who is a well-known, respected columnist at the outlet that I also have a column at, the Strategist. New York Magazine's own Strategist. Rio Vieira-Newton is her name. She came to prominence because of an insane Google spreadsheet of skincare that she made. So I thought it would be important for us to get an expert on to kind of tell us how to keep our shit in order with limited resources. Yeah, I can't wait to grill the shit out of her about beauty and wellness and how that affects us in our current.

She also, I just saw this on Instagram, she hung a fucking hammock in her apartment. I'm very interested to hear about that too. Oh, so she also smokes weed. Great. Exactly. So what you puffing on? All right, let me give her a call. Wonderful. Now we're cooking. Also, let's get into it with the 310 number off the gate. Yeah, let's talk about it. I love talking to a fellow Cali chick. I can't help who I am, you know? You do really embody Cali chick to me, I have to say. I'm so excruciatingly 310. Where in LA are you from? I'm from the west side. I'm a Santa Monica girl. Sick. I'm currently in Glendale, a little bit different. Yeah, that's different. That's such a nice way of saying that. That was a special type of shade I just received. And I liked it. I've really been craving chaos. So thank you so much for inviting me on this podcast. Are you in New York? I'm in New York. Yeah, I stayed. You're riding it out. You stayed, which is kind of, I feel like I would have assumed you would fly to Cali to be with your people. I know. I wanted to really just keep everyone on their fucking toes. You don't know me. You don't know where I'm going to go. You're throwing me for a fucking loop. I know. Well, okay, here was my thing. Obviously, my parents were like, come home. My sister just moved home, just moved to LA from New York. And my brother just moved to LA from London. So everyone is there besides me. So first of all, I'm getting a lot of attention right now, which is great. Everyone's so concerned about me. And also, I just feel like in this quarantine, all we have is our stuff. Just our shit. So if I went to LA, I wouldn't have anything. I'm displaced, and I don't have my shit, and it killed me a little bit. I totally agree. What do you do all day? He tries to get abs.

Yes, I try to get abs. Abs are considered stuff. Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that. All I care, I mean, all I have is the internet, my true love. So if I get tired of that or if I lose that, then it's really out the window for me. Old baseball. Do you talk to your parents every day? I do. I talk to my mom every day, and I talk to my sister every day. You want to know something so embarrassing? Me and my sister learned The Renegade on FaceTime yesterday. Oh, my God. Are you okay? No, clearly. Wow. Absolutely not. Actually, how long did it take two white chicks to learn The Renegade on FaceTime? Like an hour. Wow, faster than I thought. But, like, I would never record it. Does that make sense? It wasn't good enough to record. It was only good enough to learn. Precisely. I'm like, oh, okay, I know how to do it, but I would never put anyone through watching me do it on the internet. Could you explain what this is to our listeners at home who might not be familiar with the Renegade? Yeah, it's a TikTok dance. It's really hard. On a scale, on a Rotten Tomato scale, how difficult is the Renegade dance? Well, for me, like a shitty person of like... Certified hard? Like a nine, yeah. Certified hard is fire. Yeah, definitely pretty certified. Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, did you, are you losing it? Like, are you doing other weird shit or is that as dark as it's gotten for you? That's definitely the darkest it's gotten for me. Aside from that, just like a lot of shelf cleaning, a lot of closet cleaning, like that type of vibe. Mm-hmm. I thought about getting into reality TV and then stopped. It was just too low. I couldn't handle it. I think we talked about this. I think I made some suggestions since I'm at the fucking bottom just loving reality TV like a pig in shit. What's your go-to? I mean, the list is too long. I mean, I could go back to fucking middle school and start with season one of The Real World if you'd like me to. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, that's the real OG of this shit. And I think...

I think MTV should put it on. I think MTV should put all the real world on streaming right now. They would do very well. I think it's an education for young people on where the genre comes from. That's true. Young people don't have cable. Yeah, but MTV probably just has some streaming shit. I don't know. That's true. Do you stream, Rio, or do you have hard spectrum? Oh, I stream. I definitely stream. I don't think I've ever had cable. That's a lie, you millennial. Come on. No, maybe at my parents' house. I don't think I've ever personally had cable. Your parents sound cool, to be honest. I don't think. Every parent has cable, though. Yeah, of course. Even the not cool ones. Also, I want you to use hard spectrum to refer to people who use cable more often, Chris. Does spectrum exist in LA or is it only in New York? Oh, I'm spectrum half. Oh, you are. This is a spectrum house as well. This household is a spectrum house. So have you fallen into any of the other like internet traps of like baking or other dumb shit? Not really baking. No. Do you cook though? Yeah, I'm a cooker. I'm like very average, slightly above average cook. You're doing high. Yeah, I try and do it like even before all this, I was cooking probably like 70% of my meals. Are you ordering some neighborhood delivery to support small businesses? I am indeed. I'll have you know. But I also think that, like, I don't know. When I lived in the city, I used to eat out a lot. But then I moved to Greenpoint, and it was just, like, probably four really good restaurants. I didn't know there was that many. Yeah, and the rest of them were just kind of shitty. So, I don't know. This is localized content. Greenpoint sounds awesome. Tell me more. The top four restaurants in Greenpoint. Yeah, okay. Never heard of it. Next. You would like it. It's like a cunty brunch place. You're right, I'm in. Continue. D&D is a Vietnamese place that's really good. What else do I like? Do we count Mogador? That's technically Williamsburg. Mogador's a Manhattan restaurant, and I will not let you baptize its good name by putting Brooklyn anywhere near it.

Wait, should I Google? I'm, like, forgetting Greenpoint restaurants. I've been to Mogador in Brooklyn way more than in the city. Mogador in Brooklyn does not hit the same, guys. I'm sorry. Yes, it does. She does. There's, like, a little outdoor area. No. Everyone's just as hot. It hits the same, and the same is aight. People are not just as hot. I've never seen a celebrity there, first of all. That's true. I'll give you that. Celebrities are crawling. Oh, that's a lie. I saw most death last time I was there. Damn, does that count? I don't know if that counts. On the celebrity bingo card, that'll give you half a point. Yeah, I don't know if I can give you a full point for that. I'll take what I can get. What I find funny about Mogador, I don't like going there for dinner. I never think about it for dinner. I only go there during the day. I like it for dinner. It's good for a big friend group dinner situation. Well, as you can probably tell. I don't have that many friends, and I definitely don't do a lot of group stuff. That's not really my vibe. Yeah, I get that. So you've been ordering local restaurants? Yeah, I'm very stressed because I'm trying to figure out a place to order a loaf of bread, which has been a big source of agony for me. There's all these local bakeries, but you have to go in and pick the bread up. Oh, are you really freaked out by Corona? Yeah, I'm really, really freaked out. Are you? I'm naturally kind of a paranoid person, and this has kind of just sent me. Have you gone days and days without leaving the house? Yeah, I've gone like five days easily without leaving the house. Would you let a friend of yours go pick up a loaf for you? Or is that cross-contamination? I don't know. My friend hit me up yesterday and was like, do you want to go for a walk like six feet apart? I'm outside of your apartment. And I was like, do you even know me? Like, are you crazy? So the answer was, so you gave her a hard no. Yeah, I did. Well, the other day I went for a stroll and I walked through McCarran Park and there were people like making out there. Well, they might be quarantined together. I know, but I was like, are you?

same go home i'll make out with my chick broad day i don't give a shit like on a park bench right now uh no i would not sit on a park bench no this would be this would it's like when you go on the subway and you don't touch anything it would be one of those smooches you know what about if you were idling in the tesla outside of erwan waiting for them to bring the groceries to the car no problemo no there we go now i knew we could find i knew we could find a way i don't think that um i go outside every day i would lose my fucking mind if i didn't go outside every day I don't know. Are you wearing a mask and gloves and shit when you go out? Yeah, I'm doing the whole thing. Neither are you two in New York, right? No, but still. He's in Canada. Do you think New York feels extra depressing? I don't know. I think there is definitely an extreme here that isn't anywhere else. Just because naturally, New York is such a wildly... kind of like interactive place, right? So you're kind of going against like the fundamental principles of New York if you're trying to stay safe here. Like in LA, you've already been self-isolating your whole life, you know? Especially in Santa Monica, Jesus. Yeah. So yeah, all the best parts about New York have been shut down temporarily. And all the best parts about LA continue on the way they already were. Yeah, exactly. I feel like self-isolation in LA is pretty easy, no? Extremely easy. You have to try hard not to self-isolate. Well, I was thinking it must be nice to be able to go on drives. It has been, actually, especially because the traffic is pretty much non-existent. But yeah, my girlfriend and I will sometimes make some food, some baked goods, and then drive around all over the city and drop them off to our friends' houses. It's nice to just drive and haul ass, you know? Yeah. I was thinking it would be nice to park outside of a beach or something. Just look at the water. I mean, you can socially distance at the beach. It's a big-ass beach. You can just walk around six feet away. I think they closed the beaches. That's what I thought, too. Not an OC, bro. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Well...

what are you so what's your let's walk through a day in the life like what's it looking like morning tonight oh god um okay damn is it that wow okay are you okay i wake up at like 8 39 but i don't leave my bed until probably 10 to be honest i do like my first round of emails in bed from the phone or from the comp from the phone I do some Slack. How much of that email on Slack is looking at IG, though? What are we, just three strategist writers on a podcast? Yes, we are. It's more of a meeting of the minds. We are, yes. I was talking to Anthony, my editor, today, and I was teasing the podcast because I would expect some strategist social support for this. Wouldn't you, Ria? Yeah, but I feel like I've already... I already got us a little strategist ink. Don't worry, Chris. I don't care about your little broke boy ink. I want fucking Instagram. You know what I'm saying? We received a shout out for our podcast in exchange for me writing a blurb about socks. Why don't you start pulling your own fucking weight, Chris? Great. Thank you for that. But there's only drawings of us. Yeah, we have drawings. Yeah, we're reoccurring columnists with drawings, Jason. I have an illustration of myself, but that's cool too. Yeah, but it only went up once, if I remember correctly. So it's interesting. It just hits a little different. The gears of media turn slowly. I got a lot in the can. It's just kind of waiting to be peppered out. I understand. I mean, Rio, you crank it out. I think you're really, you found your niche. Yeah, how many articles are you a week? I do one a week. Ask Chris Black is a weekly thing, which I think that's probably all it could ever be because I think there's not that many questions for me. Yeah. I feel like there are a lot of questions for you, though. I mean, I just get them and answer the ones I get sent. I don't see the full breakdown.

Do you choose your own questions or does Tony send you questions and then you answer them? Tony sends them to me and I answer them. Got it. Which I prefer because I feel like he probably knows what works the best anyway. Yeah, I always think that's easier. He knows what baby wants to read. But Chris, didn't you just do like a live stream question answering thing yesterday? How did that go? Yeah, I did. Our friend Ben has a company called Thoughts, which does like a lot of like basically like experts, which I don't know if I'm an expert, but I guess for this purpose I am. And people write in their questions, answer them. So I did my first IG live yesterday. I liked it more than I thought I would. Have you done one, Rhea? I have done an IG live. Oh, you do them all the time. You do them all the time, don't you? Kind of, kind of. Let's not get crazy. I've done like three or four. But is it you to camera or is it you with somebody else? I've done maybe like two just me and then like another two with other people. It's always easier with other people, I think. Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. Overall, do you like it? I think so. I think it's just hard to tell like what's resonating with people right now. And that is the case for a lot of different kinds of media right now. just when you look at the top of your Instagram, is it for you guys where it's like 15 Instagram lives all the time? Constant. Let me look right now. Let me, yeah, we got fat Jewish. A hundred percent. Ocho system is on Instagram right now. Every day, every day, three times a day. I mean, I don't really watch them. It's like other things. Like I don't, I would, I don't think I would watch one really, but I like to do them. I guess I'll watch them for a second. I'll check in on them, but I don't know. I guess it's kind of like podcasts with you, Chris. Yeah, I don't really listen to podcasts anymore, but I love to do them. It's like a drug. I've also noticed that Instagram has been letting me know that somebody is going live on Instagram when I don't even follow them or know who they are. Is that a new thing that you guys have seen as well?

Yes. I don't think I've gotten that. It's bizarre. Just like random ass screen names I've never even seen letting me know they're going live. Which is fucked. Yeah, so everyone's living. Everyone's addicted to living. Hopefully it ends soon. Yeah. The live part, it's like, you know. Saturday Night Live is the only show that's pretty much live on TV other than the news for a reason. It's really hard to successfully pull off. If those people can't do it, then your dumbass at home with 84 followers is probably not going to do it. Just record a video and then edit it and then upload it. That's totally fine. I don't... I mean, I don't think I agree. I don't know what I thought we would already be at the point where people were tired of Corona specific content. Like they wouldn't want to read about the doom and gloom anymore. But I don't think we're there yet. No, I don't know. I kind of feel like we're getting a little bit over the hump, at least like I'm only speaking from the experience of like writing at the strat. I feel like when we were first kind of churning out content and all of this was happening. there was definitely a big emphasis on making sure that we like weren't playing down what was happening and making sure we were taking everything into consideration, taking different people's kind of states into account. But I think now people just don't, people already know, you know, people know what's happening. I don't think they're coming to the strategist to find out what's happening. And the narrative is okay. You know, like I think that this job just for a lot of people has been some kind of escapism. So, uh, yes, I would totally agree. We need more of that. I don't, I mean, I just can't read another fucking word about it. And I mean, I don't know if you have those toxic friends that only send you bad news, but Jason, I definitely do. That's my sister.

She sends me like couples, like sings a song to each other over FaceTime as like woman watches husband pass away. I'm like, why would you send me that? Thank you for seeing this touching content. I needed this today. I don't, I can't handle it. Like I don't, I mean, it's unavoidable, so I don't need it for my friends too. You know what I mean? Like I'm going to see it no matter what. So there's no reason for someone to send it to me specifically. Yeah, I also have such raging anxiety. I have to, at a certain point, remove myself from the news. Otherwise, I'll just sit and freak out. Are you blasting flour to calm down or what? What am I doing? I just pace around my apartment, really. What were you doing before the core? What were you doing to maintain your sanity and keep your anxiety at bay? I think just going on walks. stuff like that, like some kind of routine was always really important for me. Yeah, like going into the office, like little bland things like make you feel more comfortable, I think in general. And I think that's the case with a lot of people who have anxiety. Change is obviously something that's not cozy to people who are naturally like very paranoid and stressed. But yeah, I think that the first week of this, I definitely had a full meltdown. You know, it's funny. My editor as a strategist, Katie, who I don't know if either of you two have met, she is also incredibly anxious. And we both just had like this absolutely chaotic slack conversation for like an hour when all of this was unfolding. Because one of the first kind of like corporate cases, meaning like it was announced in the news, was at Brookfield Place. I forgot you guys had to go. You had to go. Yeah, I did. Tony told me that. You guys were out early. The office was closed early. We were one of the first offices to shut down, which is so funny because it wasn't even that long ago. But I remember when I first got the call, like, don't come into work today. I was like, how is this happening? And now it's just such a norm. It's such a reality. But it was so crazy. And it feels like a long time ago, too. It feels like a year ago.

How productive are you at home? Are you able to focus and shit, or are you all over the place? Well, I have done a pretty long stint of working from home, so it is quite natural to me. Because I only came on board at the strategist full-time with a desk and everything in December. Yeah, so it is. It's new. So before then, I was working from home. when i was oh we should we should we should talk about your fire music career though before that oh god okay i love that i love you know i love talking about the biz baby i did not i was not aware of this fire music career yeah tell them tell them why you mad rio tell them why you mad i worked at interscope records for two years prior to my strategist career and then well i was working in a scope for a year and then for my last year at interscope i was moonlighting as a strategist writer What were you working on at Interscope, though? You're kind of bearing the lead here. I was in the publicity department at Interscope Records, and the primary artist that I worked with was Billie Eilish. Damn. She was out here on the streets with baggy clothes Billie. True. Baggy clothes Billie? Yeah, I just... I don't... So you were there for the rise, not the peak. I was there for the rise and I caught like the tail end is when things were really just exploding at a speed like none of us had ever experienced before, which is why we all knew it was going to be something different. But it was really crazy. It was really crazy. When you heard the music for the first time, were you like, this is it? Or were you like, yeah, OK, cool. I always understood why people bought into her. I think that when someone is like so distinctly themselves and like has such a, yeah, like a concrete aesthetic that isn't manufactured by a label, I'm always like, this is going to take you somewhere. So I was always kind of like rooting for her because she was so young.

she was like so determined and always was really like about her steeds, whether you like it or not. So you don't think she's in the industry plants? No, I can, I can like pretty much confirm she's not. Wow. That's breaking news. You heard it here first guys. Yeah, it was not, it was, it was interesting. Like it was, she has always had like a lot of creative control from the very start and her bro. And her brother who are both like on the record. So nice. Like her entire team is so nice. It's crazy. And I'm not a huge fan of like most projects I worked on. Wow. Okay. What's the worst project you worked on? Go ahead and air them out. No, I can't. If you say Tyga, I swear to God. Oh my God. I worked on Tyga as well. Tyga's the god. We love to see Tyga's return. Listen, I love Tyga. Don't get me wrong. I'm from LA, bitch. I love Tyga. Let me make that clear. Having said that, do you know what album he dropped that I had to do PR for? Kyoto. Do you guys know anything about that? I dare either of you two to look up the album art right now and understand. The album art is amazing. profoundly problematic oh yeah yeah i remember this yes so would you no this artwork was so sick i mean as soon as i left he dropped taste and i was like god damn it taste is an absolute classic banger hot hot shit so did you This artwork is so insane. I'm sorry, I've got it open and there's like six versions of it on my screen. Also very timely with all the tiger talk going on in the world nowadays. I don't know what you're talking about. It's big cat erotica is what it is. Yeah, that's true. Who would you consider your favorite industry plant artist to be then? I don't know.

I'm trying to even think. Who's your number one? My number one probably right now is Bad Bunny. I just like nothing but respect for my president. He's a bad little bunny, isn't he? I'm just obsessed with him. I like Bad Bunny as a person, but the music just doesn't do it for me. It doesn't? I think it's so hot. Chris is too white, and he's not a dancing kind of guy. He doesn't use his body to speak his language. I guess your foundation is rocker, right? Fundamentally, he is a rocker at heart. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me, Rio. Thank you so much. That's my new bio. Foundation rocker. Yeah, but I mean, I get why it's so popular. Those songs just sound like SoulCycle music to me. And I can't shake that with a lot of music like that. I get it. I do love to work out to it. I'll give you that. I'll throw you that bone. Chris doesn't love a global artist either, if we're being honest. That is not true. You're not Mr. Worldwide? No, I am Mr. Worldwide. If they have guitars. But no, Jason attacking me in this way is not going to fly. I don't know. Who's my favorite industry? Who's your favorite industry plant, Jason? I mean, maybe right now, I mean, King Princess is a pretty good industry plant, right? I love that record. Yeah, who's her granddad, the guy who founded Macy's? Sounds right. I don't know. Yeah, I think so. There's some deep backstory there, but I love that record. I just love, I mean. Industry plants have been happening since the beginning of music, though. It's weird that it's such, like, a talked-about thing nowadays. It's kind of like half of every musician is an industry plant. Oh, easily. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Especially, like, is Dua Lipa an industry plant? Not to talk about your chick. I don't know, actually. I mean, she has to be some level of industry plant. But we don't care about that. She is iconic.

Someone described her record to me as music you would hear during interstitials on Bravo shows. And I think that's accurate, but it's still good. I think she may be a duo demo, but not an album track. Who's producing all that shit? I don't know, actually, but it is pretty good. Yeah, it's like a Swedish journey. Yeah, a Max Martin. I feel like it kind of took Dua a little bit of time to really take her crown as the queen of pop right now. She was kind of bubbling for a few years, not really killing shit. I think, and Rio, I'd love to hear your expertise on this, but I think that a lot of these major label artists aren't putting records out right now because they don't want to lose out on ticket bundles and shit. You have an audience dying for anything new. Why would you not put it? Like, I think Dua stayed the course and that was smart for her career. Like putting it out that when she was going to put it out instead of pushing it back. Yeah. Well, apparently Charlie XCX is supposed to drop an album this week. Yes, she is. Did you think she moved something up or you think she just made it since the Corona hit? I don't know. think that she's been marketing it as like a quarantine album but i don't know whether these songs have been like in the work prior to the quarantine or if this has all been recorded during no it's probably a little bit of both yeah yeah for sure i've never really i i like her too but it's not my she like people love her and i don't i mean i get it but i don't really care yeah the girls love her i like a lot of her i like a lot of her music I have never seen Charlie live, but my best friend went to her show and he died for it. So that's your review. Chris, do you find her attractive? No, that's not really my shit. I think she looks cool. I think she looks very cool. I would agree with that. I would agree with that. Okay. I don't, I mean.

Dua's looking a little too alien now. Her look is a little extreme. Do you like her hair? No. I love it. Really? Is it too weird for you? No, I think she's actually so beautiful. She could just tone it down five notches. I just feel like she's taking risks, and I like to see that. Well, look, I mean, again, I recognize there's a difference between stage looks and day clothes. You know what I mean? I don't see that side of her. She doesn't open up to me like that. I saw her at a Grammy party in 2017. I know. Sorry not to brag. I was actually one of the gnarliest nights of my life. I was getting wristbands for people all night. Jason can relate, sweetie. He's a former promoter. You guys can talk off pod about that. Jason side text me. Yeah, let me know if you need another bottle or anything, okay? Yeah, literally. Like, okay, so I have your Ciroc. Is there anything else I can get you? You've done this before, I could tell. So brutal. I actually, like, whenever I think about Grammy night 2017, I, like, start twitching. It's just, like, up so late doing the most, like, horrible tasks. Anyways. Saw her at a Grammy party, had no idea who she was, and I literally thought to myself, that is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. I couldn't stop staring at her, and then I later realized it was Dua Lipa. That's how I felt when I saw Paris Hilton for the first time at the VMAs in 2006. But I think that's just more of a times have changed, you know what I mean? Really? With Paris? Paris walked into that room and I've never seen a celebrity glow like that. She's looked rich and expensive and beautiful. I love that for her. It was amazing. I really do. She's got these giant feet. You know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? You literally just said she has giant feet. Is that a thing that she has? I didn't even know that. Yeah, she wears like a size 12 women. Okay.

That's pretty big, right? She's a fellow oddball. Yeah, she's like you, TJ. What size are you, TJ? 17? Mm-hmm. Damn. God damn. So hard. I know it's hard. He's very tall, so it makes sense. He doesn't look crazy. Well, he does look crazy, but not disproportionate. Disproportionate. He looks like Gumby, Glendale Gumby. Thank you, yes. The more words you're saying, the better it's getting, Chris. Thank you. That's what we call him. Well, we also, since we have you here, Rio, we thought it would be nice to kind of, you know, go through what we should be doing to take care of our bodies and faces in this difficult time since you're an expert. And something I've discovered that I wanted to share with the group is that, you know, I shaved my head last week. Did you not always have a shaved head? I had short hair, but I'd never shaved before. So it's not a giant difference, but it feels very different to me. But he set up a whole GoFundMe thing for it. It was like a big, I don't know, for a charity or something. It was really brave, though. I'm really brave. Thank you. But I've noticed that my head is feeling a little dry, so I've started to put a hair oil in for the first time, and it's really helping relieve that dryness. That's lovely for you. I love that. Love that for your scalp. Love that for your hair. But Jason shaved his head, too. yeah are you about that oil life yeah that's what i'm asking i'm i'm i will do a little face face oil but i don't have any any hair oil but i can steal some from my life partner so guys leak your routines to me right now like what are we going what's going on here you have to be a patreon subscriber to get the get the routine girl come on we'll make it a shot well i i well first of all i think i mean my routine was not much to begin with but it has also sort of fallen by the wayside a little bit as we've been quarantining since you know life doesn't matter that much anymore yeah so i'm not you know like i was thinking today like what like i feel bad for companies that make sunscreen like nobody nobody needs sunscreen now well

Technically, you do. If you're sitting by a window... I knew this was coming. She's about to drop heat on your dumb ass. If you're sitting by a window, it's still getting to your skin. Yeah, I know, but I will only wear sunscreen if I know I'm going to be out in the sun for at least an hour. Well, first of all... I know that that is to a wellness... you know, lotion head that is, that is very frowned upon. Not lotion head. I think that sunscreen is cool because it's kind of like if you're going to do one thing and you care about like premature aging, that's what you should do. And you can kind of just slap it on. It doesn't take that much time. It's always what I recommend. My boyfriend, my dad, like all those people who like don't really give a shit. So all men, all, all straight men. Well, women are smart enough. Yeah. No, but I think, I think that the difference is they just don't really care to have. It's not a lack of intelligence. It's more of just like having a little bit of a hard headed opinion about that type of thing. Well, I think men are all, I think the first, I think the men's entrance into skincare is usually like a moisturizer or an eye cream. I think that's what they hear about the most. Yeah. And I also think a lot of it depends on whether you had any real like skin issues growing up. Right. Yeah. So like, I know a lot of boys who have dealt with really bad acne their whole lives and they're incredibly knowledgeable, but it's because at a very young age, they were trying to treat something about their skin or trying to understand, understand how their skin was working. So they just became a lot more educated on the topic naturally. Um, but I know a lot of people, and this isn't like a gender thing even, but there's a lot of people who, if they've never had skin issues, why do they need to educate themselves on products? Like if their skin's already working. I mean, I kind of agree with that to some extent, because it's just a money pit. But at the same time, I guess things could always be better. Is that? Yeah, I think. Well, I think two ways about it. I think that skincare should act as like a supplementary treatment. For example, like if you're using a ton of moisturizing products, but you're not drinking any water, it's not.

gonna work you know like if you're drinking enough water and your body's naturally hydrated and then you're using a moisturizing serum or a moisturizing cream that's gonna help be like a supplementary treatment to your skin yeah i like that i like the kind of of wellness and beauty that that you can't holistic holistic jason and i you know i don't want to boast but i'm drinking 200 ounces of water per day I have been drinking a ton of water, too, and it feels amazing. I've been drinking 200 ounces of collagen-rich bone broth. Wow. Thank you for telling us. So, moisturizing is obviously important. What else are you doing wild shit right now because you have time on your hands and all the stuff sitting in front of you? Yeah, well, I think it's like a common little phrase in beauty that you go into beauty with good skin and then you leave with bad skin just because your routine is such a revolving door. Because you have to try so much stuff that, you know, skincare thrives off of consistency. And a lot of editors don't have the luxury of being able to just have like the same skincare routine for two to three years. We have to try all the new stuff. When I first met you, I asked you, do you just fuck yourself up all the time? And you're like, yes, I do. So that's like the equivalent of a food critic getting fat. It's just a part of the job. It just happens. And you kind of have to accept it. Though I think I've become a lot smarter about just what I have really reactive tendencies towards, stuff like that. Have you considered testing on animals? No. Fair, fair, fair, fair. We had to ask. We had to ask. It seems like an easy fix, but go on. My column at The Strategist is 100% cruelty free. I'll have you know. Wow. Actually, I didn't know that. Thank you for letting the listeners know. You know what? You're welcome. During this period of time, I feel like I've kind of just been going crazy trying products. Just because I think...

Even though I don't necessarily feel the pressure to maintain a certain appearance given the job that I do, when I come out and I'm giving someone skincare advice and I have crazy rashes all over my face, it can be a little hard for people to buy. Yeah, if I hit berries and the trainer ain't got crazy arms, I'm walking out the door. I need to see, you know, lead by example. You know what I'm saying? I can't trust that. So now I feel like, you know, who cares if I have, if I'm like trying all the products I necessarily wouldn't before and they don't work. I have a question though. How a lot of this stuff, like, doesn't it take a while to see if it works? Like it's not, obviously it's not like you can use it a couple of times and no, you have to use it for a while before you see if it's working properly. The general rule of thumb is 30 days to see like maximum. That's a long ass time. Yeah, well, that's like when your cells replenish. Yeah, you're selling my damn psychiatrist. But that's like a generalization, and there's obviously shorter ones, and there's ones that take longer, like a retinol can take longer. I got to talk about retinol, because I started taking a retinol pill like three or four months ago. Whoa. I'm really fucking with it. The Nuco. Yep. Yep. They make a retinol pill and my friend worked there and she like sent me a discount code. So I was like, let me try it. And I was like red, I was red for a couple of weeks, but now I think what's it supposed to do again? It's kind of like one of those products that if it works and it depends on what exact kind of retinol you're doing, it can do a lot of different things. It's like resurfacing, it's brightening, it's anti-aging. It also, depending on the strain, can help with. dark spots, acne, like it's one of those things that when it works, it really works. And there's a lot of crazy science behind how it interacts with your skin. Like it's one of the few skincare products that as soon as you put it on your skin, it immediately starts working. You might not see the results for a while, but it immediately starts doing its job, which is pretty crazy. So you're saying Jason's old ass who's approaching 40 needs to get retinol ASAP.

I would consider it also, this is a great time to try because you can have, the reason why people are hesitant about retinol is because it can be really sensitizing. Yeah, like it can make you irritated. It can make you red. It can make you flaky. Sometimes people break out and then you push past that and then your skin gets really good. I love when you talk like a workout instructor. Chris pushed past the pain. Beauty is on the other side. Exactly. What do you think about P50 and placentia pills and things like that? Listen, P50, I actually used to have really, really bad skin growing up. And P50 was the product that kind of changed everything for me. So I have a great respect for her. She's not in my current routine. Too stinky? No, it's not the stink that bothers me. I just think with P50, it's really easy to get drunk with power. It's really intense, and I think that when you see something work, you want to use it as much as possible. It's like with fitness. If you're seeing good results, you want to do it as much as possible. No matter what it's doing to your body, you love the results so much. Yeah, you get addicted to the results. And P50 is so strong. So often I'll see people who have these amazing results from P50 and they use it like crazy. And then a couple months down the line, they start having really bad reactions to it because they're using it too often. Sounds like Oxycontin. Yeah, I can relate. I see the through line here from P50 to hard drugs. So if you can like self-regulate, I think it's a different story. How often are you supposed to use it? I use it like once a week maybe. Oh, it's that little. Okay. So when you're paying $500 to that little ice bottle, it's supposed to last you a little while. Yeah, but they'll tell you at the salon or at the spas rather to use it twice a day. That's extreme. Which is pretty extreme. And I know that some people swear by it. Here's the thing.

There's a difference between what your skin can handle and what you should be doing. Does that make sense? Yeah, of course. I remember asking my dermatologist about this and she was like, well, your skin looks fine. You can keep using it. But my skin has improved so much more since I've started holding back on it. Restraint. Restraint, Rio. You need to learn restraint. So I think skincare is all about just kind of like figuring out what works. for you and kind of building up and building down. It's a lot of trial and error. I know. Look, I understand that. That's a lot of things in life. Yeah, sure is. Since this is part of your biz, do you feel like self-care and wellness and all that stuff has seen an uptick or a downtick? People have a lot of spare time to apply all of these creams to their face, but they also have nowhere to go to look good. So, I don't know. It's kind of like clothes. People are dressing up and dressing down at the same time. Yeah, I think that makeup is probably not what people are that interested in right now. But I do think... that skincare as kind of like a self meditative practice is definitely on the rise. At least that's what I've noticed. I've been getting a ton of questions about what's still delivering, what they can use, what are good things to try during this time kind of thing. I think people just have a lot of time on their hands and investing in something like skincare feels nice and yeah, therapeutic perhaps. like escapism, that kind of vibe. What about... Damn, it sounds like you're talking about weed. Kind of. What are your thoughts on infrared light? I think infrared light's cool. Next question. It's pretty cool, I guess. It's pretty cool. Do you think it actually does something? Like the infrared light masks or sauna, like the masks that people wear where you look like a crazy person?

I do think that they work. I think that there's a lot of really interesting results, especially with acne. There are certain types of the lights that can help kill bacteria. And there's a lot of very interesting stuff on that. The at-home lights are a little crazy to me. I do have one and I like it. But did you guys hear that last year a ton of them got recalled because they were blinding people? yeah no yeah jason remember that before you fucking get cheeky and use it again yeah i i don't think it's all of them but a couple of them were having a lot of problems because people were using them daily and it was like really hurting their eyes so that i find problematic i mean perhaps like like a wand one of those wands is less scary How much they cost, like $300? Well, they range. You can find pretty cheap ones on Amazon. I mean, you don't want cheap. I want the highest end. There's a Dennis Gross one that's like $400. Everyone loves. Send me the link, please. Do you think because we're inside all the time that there are certain issues that are going to develop from us being indoors? Are we going to get dried out? That's what I was about to say. Yeah, obesity and I'm going to be dry. I'm going to be dry. Fat and dry. I've been on the sofa right in front of my heater, which has been really bad for my skin. I have naturally pretty dry skin, so it's been drying my skin out like crazy. I think that there's like, our apartments are dusty. Not going out for air is like a weird thing that... I've definitely never experienced. Well, just to be clear, Rio, you're the only one on this podcast not going out for air. So I just want to make sure everybody realizes that you're the true doomsday prepper. I really am. I haven't left my house in so long. Actually, a hack is that I've been going on walks at like 1130 p.m. And that's been nice. What's the vibe at 1130 p.m. in the core?

It's really creepy. But it's kind of major. Do you bring a weapon? No. You don't have pink mace or something? No. Yes. I'm sorry. I love mace. I think mace is underrated. It actually really works. I agree. Mace is underrated. Chris hates pepper spray. Pepper spray sucks mace rules. Exactly. I have my allegiances just like everyone else. What are you doing exercise wise? Oh my God. Okay. So I've been following these really bizarre YouTube. I texted you about this, Chris. I've been following this really bizarre YouTube, um, like hit workouts. Yes. Um, they're like 15 minutes long. This girl is so intense and just like has the most sickening body. And she basically just screams at you. What is it called? Her name is Mad Fit. If you're listening to this, please contact me. I have so many questions. Mad Fit? Yeah, M-A-D-S-I-T. This sounds like some explore page shit, I will say. It is so explore page. I think I found it on the explore page. So you're in the living room with a yoga mat doing some intense hit class on YouTube. Just grunting, sweating, like so bummed. And then on like an off day, I'll do a yoga moment. Yeah, yeah. We need to stretch. I think it's important to stretch. Yeah, I agree. I thought about going on a run outside, but I just, I don't know, man. I'm looking like longingly out my window right now. I've been running outside a lot, and it really makes a difference in the days I run outside, how I feel. Where are you? Montreal. Oh, nice. Is it busy? Not really. I mean, no, not. I mean, people aren't as serious as American for sure in general, but it's pretty mellow, I would say. But like, there's no one running outside. I'll tell you that very little traffic on the, on the fucking routes. I feel like Manhattan is emptier than Brooklyn right now. Well, it's because it's the better borough. Because they can afford, they can afford to go to their.

Connecticut house. That's what I was about to say. That's because we're all in the Hamptons, sweetie. I feel like everyone has retreated to the Hamptons or upstate or wherever, and then in Brooklyn, everyone and their families are still here, still rocking. Rio, come join me out east. It's no big deal. We're out here, the chef is here, the trainer comes on the weekends, but there's plenty of space. We have a lot of room. I heard that cases are spiking out east. I just love saying out east. That's the only reason I brought this up. I know. It's so bitchy. I'm sure cases are. Of course they are. But I mean, they were also running out of money at the banks because guys were going in trying to take out like 50 racks in cash. Screaming at that. It's so cool. It's so cool. Everything about it is so cool. I was surprised to learn how many people have like houses upstate. Yeah, me too. For how much money they, I mean, I assume how much money they make. And I'm like, damn, you can. You can have a house. You know what? It's been kind of eye-opening. Yeah. It's been eye-opening. I'm seeing people for who they really are right now on the internet. Yeah, the curtain is down, and we're seeing you all, and you're in all the blemishes. And the person that they really are is rich. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, your little Connecticut house? I didn't know about her. Oh, huh. Yeah, there's a lot of that. I mean, I've been seeing that the most with like, I want to write a story about it. The Barry's trainers, um, interior design. I know that it's beautiful. I actually, to be honest, I opened the Barry's live the other day and I had a freak out and closed it. It was too scary. Why? It's fine. Just get a band and join us in the red room. Also, the actual Barry's is too scary as well. I would never go to Barry's. I would never. I know my audience. and it's not buried. I think you should come. Come on. Listen, a treadmill moment is not my journey. It's not my journey. You guys are fucking babies. I can't. I just can't. It's so embarrassing. You know what it also is? It's so embarrassing to be bad at stuff in front of other people. Welcome to my life, Rio. Welcome to literally everything I've ever tried to do.

And I feel like that, that embarrassment is like particularly toe curling at a place like berries. Yeah. They're going to be very much like, it's totally okay. Like everyone is on their own, their own success journey, but you can kind of silently feel them judging you. Yeah. Like everyone's just thinking about what a fucking loser you look like the whole time. My best friend is a berries head and she's so berries. And I just know that if I didn't know her, I would be like, This fucking bitch. Wow, sounds like my relationship with Chris Black. Yeah, I mean, does she go? How often are we talking? No, like, let me just put this in perspective. She lives in LA. She got in a car accident on the way to Barry's at 7.30 a.m. The ambulance came. She was like, I have to go to Barry's. Can you introduce me, please? I mean, this sounds very cool. She's like, I'm fine. I just really have to get to my class. That's inspirational, honestly. So chaotic. That's a full addiction. Yeah, I was like, you need to go home. Her car, he drove her fucked up car to Barry. The bumper dragging on the way to Barry? Did I have to get there? It's only funny because she was totally fine and no one was hurt, obviously. Wow, thank you for that disclaimer. So everyone knows. I also noticed, did you put... I saw that you put a hammock in your apartment. I'm so glad you have brought this up. Yes. I have a hammock. It's in my bedroom. It was like, this has actually been something that my boyfriend has been campaigning for for a long time. Very cool. He bought it unbeknownst to me. And of course I was like, I don't want a fucking hammock in the apartment. Like, are you insane? But then all of this happened and I was just like, nothing's real anymore. Fucking put it up. I don't give a shit. And it's actually quite nice. Like, what do you do in there? Smoke weed? Like, read? What are you doing? I... What do I do? I have, like, a little glass of chilled rosé. Look at the Manhattan skyline. That sounds fucking awesome. Sometimes I bring my laptop on it, but it's a little bit painful to do work on. I mean, can you nap in it, or is it strictly a rosé and chill area?

I haven't personally taken a nap, but one could. You know, I have a hard time getting comfortable in hammocks, to be honest. Yeah, it's weird. It's a weird sensation. It's nice and, like, calming the rocking, you know? Like a baby. Yeah, it's also just, like, kind of nice to sit on a new kind of thing. Do you think there, is there enough here to do a strategist piece on chill from home? It already made it. That's how I know about it. Yeah, it's funny. It's also just not a particularly beautiful hammock, but she's good to me. I'm not going to hate on her. Bay got a shitty hammock. That's fine. Yeah, he did. To go back to the strat, what types of content, what types of articles and pieces are kind of surprisingly succeeding right now? We just had this conversation the other day and obviously things like vibrators and stuff are doing really well. Wow, we don't talk about that kind of stuff on this show. Yeah, we do. Jesus Christ. Also, anything germ-killing that's out of the ordinary, like there's these strange LED lights that are killing germs that have been doing really well. Yeah, it's called 5G. Oh, bidets? Bidets are selling like crazy on the strategist right now. Listen, you guys asked for obscure. No, no, no. This is exactly... I'm sorry I said the V word. I've been thinking about bidets, actually. Yeah, they've been doing really well. It took me a while to come around on them, but now I fully get it. Can't you cop an attachment? Yeah, that's what we're selling on the Strat. We have an affordable Amazon bidet attachment that works on pretty much every toilet. How much are we talking? I don't know. Let's look. There's a company that makes a Casper mattress of bidets called Tushy, I believe. You can get them for like $79.

Oh. It just clamps onto your existing toilet and then you, I think you just have to plug it into the wall and then you're good. I didn't realize. I mean, I don't like those, but I seem like something you'd be into, Jason. Spraying my asshole? Yeah, you're into butt stuff, so I'm not surprised. So it varies. Some are like 80 bucks. Some are like $500. That sounds about right. As a strategist, we'd love to show a range of prices. We love a high-low moment. Unfortunately, my moments are high often, and then I have to be brought back down to Earth. Has anyone checked you? I've been checked many times. The girls have clocked you? I don't look at the comments because people destroy me every week. Welcome. We need to start a support group. But I think it's funny because I'm like, guys, you don't you don't get this is like kind of supposed to be funny. Like this isn't I'm not being like so serious, but I guess people don't get that. Yeah, people are crazy. Commenters are crazy. I remember the first couple of times I got really mean comments. I just I just like was so sad. And now I'm just like, I hate you. Go to therapy. Get off this comment section. You're doing more of a service than I am. So I would be more upset if I were you because you're I don't know. I would. disagree you have some real you have some real fans there's been a couple times where people have been like oh you know chris black wow sick yeah let's you can text me off pod about that um but also chris kind of he his tone is sort of almost created for you to get pissed off about you know like Yeah. He's baiting us to, to talk shit. That's true. You do bait people. I'll give them that. I'll give the girls that. I can't help myself. I can't help myself. But it's also like, I just love when like some fat guy, Wisconsin's like, you don't know anything about clothes, bro. Who would ever wear this? And it's like some beautiful Dries coat or something. You know what I mean? It's like, dude, do you look, I don't know about a lot of stuff, but I definitely know that this coat is fire. Yeah.

For sure. Do not get it twisted, losers. Wow, Rio, I think we've covered it. We're done? That's it? That's it. We're done with you. Thank you so much for coming on, and I hope that you're surviving this quar. Me too, guys. Good luck. Also, I hope that we've inspired you to get out and maybe go take a run today. A safe. Run without any danger. Maybe a midnight stroll. Yeah, get some fresh air going. You need to get fresh air. I think that's honestly the most important part of this thing is getting fresh air and apparently moisturizing. All right, guys. All right, fine. Okay, let us know. If anything happens to you, I'll find out some other way. But if it's positive, let us know. All right. And I'll promise to wear sunscreen. Yeah. Yeah, wear sunscreen, you too. Okay, we will. And tell us, tell the listeners where they can find you on the World Wide Web. You can find my column at the Strategist at newyorkmag.com slash strategist. And you can find me on Instagram at at riovn. Great. Cool. Thank you so much. T-Y-S-M, Rio. T-Y-S-M to you as well. All right. Thank you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.