669. - August Thompson

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Super Tuesday from money-making Manhattan. Them jeans was really good. You sound kind of different, Chris. Are you in a different location than normal? I'm in one of my padded cells that does help your job, apparently, according to you. According to everyone. Not just me. I'm not the only audiophile on Spotify. But yeah, I'm doing... Or maybe I am. I think the audiophiles are over on Tidal, so that's why I said that. Can you listen to How Long Gone on Tidal? Actually, I never bothered to check. Yeah, I'm good. Just finished my little hot girl dog walk and researching our guests. today it's another day in paradise i got a substack dinner tonight if i finish all my homework i get to go to what do you what do you mean substack is a platform how do they have a dinner different brands will sometimes have irl activations um i think there's you've been to some j crew dinners maybe Same kind of vibe. So you're saying that they're taking it offline. They're taking the subscription model to the family-style table. Is that what you're saying? I think it's going to be a place where communities can be built. Okay. Where is this dinner? At a private home in the Hollywood Hills of a sub-stacker? Or is this at a restaurant? It's at Stella, West Hollywood. The restaurant whose name that you are upset about. Well, there's already a restaurant with that name. It's not I'm upset about it. It's just a fact. But are they going to charge you five? I just think it's crazy.

Is there going to be a $5 entry fee kind of to keep in line with Substack's kind of approach? Or do you think it's free? Yeah, I think the bill will just be automatically taken out of my credit card at the end of the month. Unless I do a really good job networking, and then this one will be free. It's a little pay-for-play. They should charge everyone $5 for the dinner, not make it free. That's really funny. Honestly, that would be like a fun little thing. It could go viral. It could go viral. So do you think you're going to meet other creators that you're going to get along with, or do you think it's going to be a dork fest? You know, you never really know, because we've been to a lot of media dinners that can be... the only place where i want to hang out with or they could be a slice of hell depending on what the situation is you know what i mean so i'm saying optimistic i'm hoping that we're gonna have a dope crowd all right look i have i have faith But you know me. I can entertain myself. Same, bro. That's why I bring my fidget spinner to every dinner. Yeah, I'll be showing up Miranda July book under my armpit just in case I need to pull that thang out and entertain myself. You guys are boring. I'm about to pull that thang out. I went to a dinner last night. Rita's did a dinner last night at Tiwa in Tribeca, and I went to this gathering, and I had something I'd never had before. That I wanted to talk to you about. And it was like a. Gabe did a version of. Welsh rare bit. That was. With pimento cheese. And let me tell you what boy. It slapped. It's slapped. Wow. It's almost like he made it for you, right? It felt, I mean, look, their menu always has a little southern flair, but this in particular felt catered to me like I was walking to the 18th green of the Masters. I guess it does have a little southern flair. Isn't that something? Memento cheese is, but it was, yeah, it was delicious. The food is great, but that in particular stood out to me. Damn, that's pretty sick. I wonder which ale he used for the Welsh rare bit.

You may have consumed a little alcohol. It burned off, don't worry. It has the Worcestershire sauce on top as well, which is a flavor that I don't usually partake in. Yeah, I actually had a banging little Welsh rarebit that you would not eat if you knew what it was, but if you just blindfoldedly took a bite of it, you would be really keen on it. What was in it? It was a smoked eel Welsh rarebit that I had at a restaurant. in barcelona what's up with all the eel lately put those motherfuckers back in the ocean why is there eel and i had eel when i went to omakase with cho course 13 was eel and you know it's it's like uni i don't need it you know it's not terrible i just don't i don't need it right right right um yeah i guess what was the i mean usually when you get the the eel in a seafood i mean in a sushi setting It's kind of broiled with an eel sauce, a little caramelized kind of vibe. I think that's what it was. By that time, I was just eating the bite that was put in front of me. I wasn't really asking any questions to the chef. But some of the first courses, you were asking questions from the chef. Did you get this one from Santa Barbara or Hokkaido? Of course. Actually, this bluefin came in from Boston. Wouldn't you know it? If I don't ask the origin of the uni, did I even have a meal? It's kind of how I look at it. Don't make fun of me. My culture is not your costume. If I don't know where the uni came from, it ain't touching these sweet little lips. I'll tell you that. That's a goddamn promise. It's not funny. It's not a funny joke. That's how I live my life. I'm surprised that you went to omakase, though. What did Cho do to convince you to go to one of your most nightmarish locales? I don't know, man. You know, I'm actually, as I age, I think I'm becoming more open-minded to trying things that I once wrote off. I think I've had some pretty fantastic tasting menus in the last year, you know, and omakase is, it's also, I know it's, you know, it's a hundred bucks and it's affordable and it actually takes, it doesn't take that long.

So that kind of felt good. But Cho wanted to go. So you like it when a dinner is short. That's right. That's right. You're a short Dean man. Is that what one could say? I want to come in at 7, leave at 8. It's like How Long Gone Live, baby. A tight hour. Sorry, ladies. He's taken. Sorry, ladies. He's taken. I'm so fun. But last night at the dinner. I sat next to a new friend who I've actually never met, Despot. Oh, okay. Friend of the show, Despot. Friend of the show, Despot. And I have to say, there might not be a greater table, like a neighbor at a group dinner that I've ever experienced. Seatmate? Seatmate. Yeah, it was really something. He kept Alex and I on our toes for at least a half hour. Okay. It was great. And when you say on your toes, you mean? Having a laugh and a good time? Yeah, having a laugh. Yeah, having a laugh. He's got, yeah, having a laugh, having a good time. It was a fun, it's fun to meet new people and for them to deliver. This is why we network, brother. This is why we network. What was your dinner last night again? It was Rita's at Tiwa. Oh, yeah, Rita's. That's right. Rita's at Tiwa. They had done it at Time Again, which is his bar that has turned into like... the wildest scene in new york where there's 400 people outside like it's a british pub on a with the football on yeah what's going on with that spot i've been hearing people talking about it it's it's literally it's there's no i don't really know i don't know i don't know i think sometimes things just work i mean it's been there for a while and they tried so it's like for our listeners at home it's like a small a small bar somewhere in the east side dime square i'm assuming and then yeah it spills out to hundreds of cool young people Drinking and smoking on the sidewalk and the streets. Yes, exactly. But it's a lot of people. I haven't been yet because it starts after my bedtime usually. But it does seem like something that I will eventually have to check out, maybe against my will. But, yeah, it's a real scene. It's a real scene. I think that any time people can stand outside in New York and drink, they'll kind of do whatever it takes.

to participate in that yeah yeah that's just what yeah i guess it's also kind of like single people activity like you go there because you're trying to have sex with other people yeah you're trying to find another freak with new strangers who's wearing all 90s thrift store clothes and uh drink drinking a beer sounds great to me at a certain time it did sound great didn't it chris um not that exactly but yeah sure something in that neighborhood i would say did sound good i'm um so do you think you're you're really worried about this flight stuff i feel like i'm not even hearing that much about it um yeah i mean i guess i pay more attention to delta and you know flight stuff than you might uh or just that's just what the news is feeding me but Yeah, it's a huge nationwide thing. Yeah, but I feel like we're... ATL. ATL is completely shut down. People have been living at... What's it? Hartsfield, Jackson. They've been living there for four days now. You're saying that Hartsfield, Jackson Airport is not operational? I don't really believe that. Well, for Delta. I just wonder. I feel like this is all a little overblown. That's all. I mean, I hope you're right. But, you know, 50% takeoff rate is 50% takeoff rate, you know? But finally today the Department of Transportation has stepped in and now they're investigating. Pete Booty Judge coming in. He's saying, I'm back, baby. He's flying high off his Bill Maher appearance. He's ready to crack the whip. Look, I mean, I will have anyone go in and try to clean up, see if, go to Delta and ask them if they've restarted their computers yet. Do whatever you got to do to get me because we have, I got four flights this weekend. And if 50% of flights are taking off, then I don't love those odds. I've looked at the app. It's fine. Everything works. But you've got a layover. We both have layovers? No. Yeah, well, it doesn't show. The app hasn't updated anything. I don't have a layover. It's like an hour flight. It's super close. Okay. But you have a layover, but it's not in Atlanta. So it could be worse. Yeah, my layover is in Detroit. I know this is exciting podcasting for all of our listeners at home. Sorry. You guys like the minutia of it, though?

Delta meltdown. Luckily, I don't have any checked luggage, so that'll help. It'll be fine. We're going to be fine. I've got to be at the airport, or I'm getting picked up at 3.30. 3.30 for what? The flight's at 8.30. 5.30. Oh, it's 5.30 your time. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It says 8.30. There's a three-hour time difference from the West Coast. It says 8.30. It says 8.30. You got to forget to carry the three. I'm so stupid. I know that you're over. I'm sorry. You fly a lot. I'm sorry. No, it shows 8.30. Because I get the updates and it shows 8.30 in my phone. Because that's, you know what I mean? So that's my bad. All right. Girl. All right. So we'll see. You want to take it up with Vic if you have a problem with those pickup times. I would never take it up with Vic. Shout out to the big dog. That's what I thought. I miss him. thought i miss him um we have a guest today uh august thompson is his name um he has a new book called anyone's ghost that i read last month it was excellent uh very very a good book that is out now, I believe. People are calling it the Dirtbag Call Me By Your Name. Do you think that's a good title, Chris? Honestly, sure. I mean, that's very marketable. I'm sure August likes that because they can turn that into a TV show or a film. Are people optioning books now? That's kind of the point of writing a book, I believe. Let's chat about that. We'll get to the bottom of it. Okay, let's give August A jingle. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned.

They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung, TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app. using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. Yo, you hear us? Oh, I hear you. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was absolutely entranced by where you both were stuck with your flights, what's going on with Delta.

I don't want to talk about the book at all. Let's dial it back. Don't worry. We weren't going to talk about the book. If you want to talk about Delta, we can do a full 45. That's no problem. So you wrote a book? Yeah, man. I wrote a book. Yeah, yeah. We'll get to that next episode. You look great. Your hair looks good. Nice head of hair on this young man. Thank you so much. Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but I do have a great head of hair, so thank you. Yeah, it's good for the listeners to know. Thank you, because they know that I'm sensitive about that kind of thing, so I'm glad that you kind of kept it to yourself. I think it's sexy when a guy has confidence in his hair. I'm just an understanding and loving dude, so I would never bring anyone down. I just let the hair do the talking. I guess it'd be weird if I met an August that wasn't like that. You know what I mean? If you have a name like August, that type of personality is kind of built in, right? Yeah, you got to be kind of Leonine. I mean, it's a name that has really paid off with dividends because as a kid... God did I get shit on, but now it kind of tricks people into thinking I'm interesting. Um, and then I let them down like 20 minutes later, but, but the opening is great. People are sort of enchanted by the idea. How, why, why were people shitting on you for having a, having this name? I know it's an unusual name, but it's not like bitch Thompson. It's a word we know as a, as a, as a society, it's a recognized term. It's not like, you know what I mean? It's not, it's more like, I mean, I'm 30. So this was before the era of like being called like Apple or door or Brixton or whatever. So having a weird name and I'm from the boonies in New Hampshire originally. So like, you know, it was just, it was a bunch of like Daniels and whatever, just nice. You're coming for your, yeah, they were coming for me. Yeah. No, you're coming for us right now. You're coming for the names from the Bible hive. And that's something that we kind of stand for over here. I came on this podcast to come for everyone. So this is just,

the beginning yeah everyone listens okay but but you lived but you lived in new york i mean sorry you lived in los angeles when you were growing up at some point right i was there from 11 to uh the end of high school but i would sort of shuttle back and forth uh which which also happens in the book though the book is sadly not autobiographical but i am a uh sam ohi alumni it's not not august it feels it feels pretty it feels pretty autobiographical it's not not i mean it's pretty autobiographical there's got to be character Well, he does have a great head of hair. No, I think like the writing the book, a lot of it was like wish fulfillment because my life was I was like a huge nerd and I did not have sex in high school and I did not really have any like romantic. I had a lot of failures, a lot of yearning. And so I was like, how can I make that into the dirtbag? Call me by your name. That's what I thought. Yeah. But now I can imagine you're out here fucking. You're doing quite well for yourself now. Listen, those are your words, and they will be on the back of the paperback of the book. Yeah. August Thompson is out here fucking. August Thompson, his dick hasn't been dry since publish day. Since publishing day. We're good to go. So you kind of grew up in California, which is a pretty stark contrast from New Hampshire. Yeah, it was a hard swing. My parents just thought, you know, let's keep it spicy. Let's not make it too easy on them. So, yeah, I mean, I'm from a town of like 2000 in New Hampshire, and then we moved to Santa Monica. Luckily, you moved to August country. I moved to August country, yeah. Suddenly, I was one of Legion. I wasn't just the guy. You weren't in Downey where they're going to call you an F-slur. They're like, oh, sit with the other three Augusts over there for your sixth grade recess. You met up with the three other Augusts at the Third Street Promenade after school every day. It was kind of a go-to for you. Yeah, we ate bad pizza. I brought kimchi for lunch, too. Yeah, it was great, man. Now, you've been L.A. pilled at some points in your lives, right? So one of you lives in L.A. or you're both in L.A.? Jason's lifelong California. I'm not L.A. pilled, baby. I fill the prescriptions. I'm Pfizer to this bitch. I like L.A., but I'd rather live in New York. You don't partake.

That's what you're saying. No, I partake. I'm a homeowner. I'm a homeowner. Oh, okay. I pay taxes. You're partooking. That's for sure. Get the hell off my property. Yeah, I'm partaking more than I would like to financially, but no, it's a beautiful place. Chris loves Los Angeles. I love it. He just can't live there full-time forever. He's bi-coastal at the end of the day. Got it. It's just a little too boring for me. I need the action of the Big Apple. I mean, I don't want to lose any sales in LA, so we can just bleep out what's the ball. I really like it there. I just, you know, I have, I have, I think it's hard loving where you grow up inherently. Like that's been a big part of me learning my shit and trying to get better as I get older. But, um, I don't know, man, it's just kind of the car thing is tough. This is like the least interesting thing in the world. But the car thing is very tough for me. Well, you don't like, you don't like driving or you can't afford a sick whip. Basically both. So growing up in the super walkable metropolis of New Hampshire, you did not need a car at all, right? The Subaru stayed in the garage. You didn't even have to bring it out. 100%. Yeah. No, I would just sort of piggyback the largest boy and tell him to go northeast, west, or south. That's how we got around. Well, you're heading, big fella. Yes. I hope we're going in the same direction. Delaware is as far as I'll take you. I don't. But New Hampshire is pretty. charming right i feel like that's a place that's like pretty romanticized in the northeast it's pretty beautiful i mean it's unbelievably beautiful uh i'm obviously biased it's extremely extremely weird i mean like it's i'm from real like what is now trump country um and the people are very sweet welcome home brother Welcome home, brother. It's going to be a big few months for my people. You were part of the groundswell. I couldn't tell if that was your AirPod or a Band-Aid on your ear, so I'm glad to know that it is, in fact, a Band-Aid. I'm glad to know. I'm so glad I had a good two-week career, because this is obviously the end of it. Thank you both for bearing it. Yeah, I mean, New Hampshire, it's wonderful, but it is a weird place, and there's just not a lot if you don't like the nature.

game you know if you if you can't appreciate beauty um then you know get get your ass out of it chris chris usually doesn't chris usually stays out of the nature game right yeah i don't like nature i don't like nature very much but i guess that sometimes like this this happened to me recently i went to aspen and i was like oh this is nature this is like pretty unbelievable so i think if you if it's the right high level nature i can respect it for 48 hours or less i feel that were you were you seeing this from the cabin window as you like I was seeing it from the very expensive hotel suite, and I was just sucking on oxygen staring out the window. I think what Chris is saying is he loves nature as long as the people who live in and around it are more wealthy or as wealthy as them. He's found a way to attach a dollar sign to nature. something that's truly uninfluenciable by it, except for its destruction, and he's found a way to attach a price tag to it. If you don't ski... Are there really rich people in New Hampshire? Oh, yeah. You got ballers over there? There are. Mitt Romney has a house on the Big Lake, we call it. So, if you know of a bigger baller than Mitt Romney, then, you know, call me up. He's our future DNC candidate. Future DNC candidate, according to Sorkin, right? Big baseball Mitt Romney lives on the Big Lake? Yeah, I mean, You know, he's living the Aaron Sorkin dream. He's just out there during the summers. Yeah, it's good. Does he have kids and shit that you've tangled with or nah? You fucked a couple Romneys? I used to ride one of them piggyback up north. Ride? I used to ride him to class, not sexually. You haven't lived until you fucked a Romney, I always said. How many kids does Romney have? Oh, I have no idea. I mean, it's got to be a few. He's got the Mormon thing. Are any of them hot? I mean, if they're Mormon, they should be. mormons are besides brandon flowers i can name three other hot mormons chris out of the three of us on this conversation you're the you're the one who's most likely to know about mitt romney's family well you know you know joe biden august and i are both artists we don't know about this stuff you know that joe biden has that hot knee is it his niece jason that we were talking yesterday i'm not exactly sure was she recently revealed

Yeah, to be attractive. She got arrested for like credit card fraud, which is so hot. I mean, that's like the coolest thing you can do. But yeah, I think she's, I can't remember who she is, but she's a Biden. I saw that she was the biggest disappointment. She had to be evicted from her apartment for not paying rent by the police. And then they had to like strap her into a gurney and throw a sheet over her head as they took her to jail. I mean, that's. So she sounds cool. That's swinging for the leftist vote, you know. Like landlords are evil. She said no. She said no way. She looks like for a city girl, she's spent a lot of time on the lake. It's kind of her vibe. You know what I mean? Yes, for sure. I mean, but this is the biggest disappointment with Biden dropping out of the race is that she's going to get a little less daily mail time for me. So that's, you know, you can't win them all. Yeah, just, you know, copy paste, screenshot. You'll be good. I didn't know. Yeah, I don't. I don't think I've ever been to New Hampshire, but I assumed there was some sort of heavy hitters from the area because there's heavy hitters from everywhere now. I would say the average of heavy hitters is perhaps lower than other places, but we got our Seth Meyers game. We got our Adam Sandler. Is Seth having you on the show? We're leading with Meyers. For some reason, Seth is not interested in having an obscure novelist on his show. But you know what? Shout out to our New Hampshire boys. We love them no matter what. I think it's beautiful. Okay, you're holding it down for the squad. I didn't know Seth. Seth does strike me as... You know, he kind of strikes me as New Hampshire-ish. I'm not meaning that as a diss. It's just he's clearly not from anywhere else. You know what I mean? Well, the fact that you think it could be interpreted as a diss says a lot about your perspective on New Hampshire. But, yeah. No, no, no. I love all the beautiful states of this country. I'm a fucking patriot. It's a very good point, August. It's a very good point. I don't want you to forget that you're talking to two patriots. Jason's from Orange County, for God's sake. That's right, bitch. Hey, you're keeping up the good fight, and I appreciate it. I appreciate it, boys. He is keeping up the good fight. He really is.

Stop drinking out of that dang mason jar, that list-hard mason jar over there. This was just maple syrup. Yeah, stop drinking out of your Drake's Tears mason jar filled with the master cleanse. Yeah, I didn't want to be too cliche, so I emptied it of spit and molasses. That's really nice of you. That's really smart. Okay, so we were talking about... In the intro about your book being called A Dirtbag, Call Me By Your Name, and you made a little aside comment about that. But do you feel like that aligns with what you did? Are you offended by that title? Are you cool with it? My SEO is so happy. So I think I'm not offended whatsoever. I mean, Call Me By Your Name, how could you hate on it? Especially Luca Guadagino's adaptation. Love it. Wait, there was a book? I think my book was more concerned with masculinity and platonic relationships on top of romance. So I would say it's a little bit different. You make us wait a long time for the romance to drop, kind of. You edge us for 250 pages. You know what I mean? So much edging. I know. It's cruel of me. Call Me By Your Name was... good and everybody kind of agrees that it's good and it's pretty well liked overall so i don't see a downside to that i think it's a total win but i guess and call me by your name august i have not read your book my apologies but um i've looked at your playlist on spotify so i think i know everything there is to know about the book but uh you get it call me by call me by your name you know it's guys laying around reading and you know enjoying philosophy and in interesting independent music And then your book is a little bit more on where we're getting fucked up and listening to Metallica in a parking lot. And maybe I'll touch your dick in Chapter 17. God, that was just like... It sounds like you have read it, honestly. Five stars on Goodreads. Yeah, as I say, type that all out for his Goodreads review. That's actually... So that's going to go up. That's going to help you out. Yeah, I would say it's less...

Less fancy boy than Call Me By Your Name. A lot more chain smoking, a lot more Walmart, that kind of stuff. I think part of the reason it spoke to me is because I grew up in the South, so some of that stuff is recognizable. I didn't really do that. Look, just to be clear, I've never jerked a guy off, but I'm just saying that I've been to Walmart. The idea of sitting in parking lots is so... such a part of like the american kind of teenage experience but i feel like it is did you do that jason or is that more southern in in my mind we we did hang out in parking lots but i think In the south or in the more New Hampshireian places, the Walmart parking lot is sort of the big show and the only show, whereas we were able to diversify our parking lots all over Orange County, so whatever flavor we were feeling. So we did have a little superiority complex going on. But this was all before we had those freaking iPads and Candy Crush, right, guys? Of course, of course. Because you're a little bit younger than us, but what era? does this take place in really uh like early the first section is in 2004 and then 2012 during hurricane sandy and then like 2019 so it's cut in three and kind of jumps throughout time but yeah um i don't know exactly how old you guys are but this is uh it's an early off book we're in our early 40s so there's a lot of relatable like a lot of the music references and stuff were really spot on for the time period you know yeah and i think you know they're both metalheads they're both like rock dudes and so I think after 1981, there was this pan fandom of everyone liking the same 50 Vans when you're 16. Other than Slipknot, I don't know what the early 2000s really brought us. The Strokes? Wait, are you into heavy rock yourself? I am into heavy rock myself, yeah. What kind of heavy rock are we talking about? Well, I'll answer this question because, like I said, I checked out your Spotify playlist.

And according to you, August, Metallica is your favorite band. Chris does not like them or understand them. So how, August, if you could convince a gay man to like Metallica, I'd give you the floor. I don't think I could ever convince someone to like Metallica because... You're either in or you're not. And if you find them corny, it's DOA. There's simply no coming back from that. Now, DOA, I like. DOA, I like. That's weird that you say that. I'm sitting right there. I mean, they are corny bands, but I just think... got into them when i was like 13 so you know everything's rad when you're 13 this is what i was going to say i think that everybody i know that likes metallica that's like our general age it's because it was maybe the first cd they bought kind of shit like i was 12 or i was 13 and that's like it's kind of cemented but when our but our age chris the the first metallica cd you buy is either you know like the black album or something earlier and then you know august generation and beyond There's been 20 awful, unlistenable Metallica albums in the last 20 years, and it's very highly possible that could be their entry point. Well, I have to ask because I remember the major turning point for Metallica was the documentary. I feel like that was a major turning point where people were like, oh, these guys suck. It was like, you should not have opened the curtain. That's when the world all realized that they sucked, but Metalheads knew. I would say the real, I don't know if August, you're in the same boat that I am, but sort of the before Christ, after death moment is the Black Album. Anything before that, thumbs up. Anything after that, thumbs down. And it's debatable on if the Black Album itself is... Is that fair to say, August? Oh, certainly, yeah. I mean, I basically only listen to those. I like the Black Album, but I like pop music, so it makes sense that it's like a pop version of Metallica, which is, you know, two of my sad little hobbies. The documentary I adore. I think it's one of the craziest things I've ever seen. I can't say it makes them seem cool, but it's really fucking funny.

And one of my favorite moments in film is when Lars' dad listens to the record St. Anger, which sucks. And I think everyone in the world knows it sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lars is like, what should we do? And Lars' dad is like super Danish. He's like, you can throw this in the garbage and no one should ever hear it. Damn, that's cool. It's so rad. Yeah. I don't know. I admire they did that. I think it shows they're just so disconnected and so rich that they were like, yeah, this is a great idea. We'll put our therapy behind the curtain. I actually agree with you 100 percent on that. I like the fact that they're so disconnected from reality. They thought that would work. That makes me almost want to see it. But I can't. Oh, you've not seen it. Never seen it. I just guns and roses, Metallica, all that kind of shit. I just don't like, never liked it. Never thought it was cool. Just, I mean, obviously they've got hits. Don't get me wrong. It's like, I get it, but I just don't, I'm not going to put, I just don't listen to music like that. I never did. Weirdly. Cause I listened to like hardcore, which is not so far off. Right. You know, do you, would you describe yourself as too cool for guns and roses? Yes, I would. uh yes i would and i'm not i don't even think i'm that cool i just think they're that uncool i'm not it's not a big up to me but again i i feel like i could get chris to do like some type of headbanging ayahuasca ceremony where he finally like sees the light and is able to understand and enjoy 80s metal Of all kinds. But even like Raging Against the Machine, I think all that shit's corny. I just think it's all, it was all just like radio, like hair metal to me in some way. Even though I know it's more nuanced than that. And a lot of people I love and respect really like it. But again, Guns N' Roses, Jason, you got into that when you were 10, right? That's right, bitch. Seven, suck my dick. I mean. They rock. There's no two ways around it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you are living in a Guns N' Roses list world. They rock and they fuck. And I hate to say things fuck, but they also fuck. Okay, August, how often are you putting Guns N' Roses on when you hit the treadmill? Come on. Well, I think the main thing is that I've never hit the treadmill. So 0% of the time. In my life? When you say treadmill.

The treadmill of life? What's your appetite for appetite, August? I'm starving for appetite. I could eat it five courses. I love that shit, top to bottom. If you get like nine beers in me, I will rant about appetite for like 30 minutes to no one's pleasure. So this is something, let's say, I know you hate driving, but you would put on this kind of music in the car. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world.

writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I don't hate driving. I hate being attached to driving. I hate it being the only way. Like I love driving in New Hampshire because there's nothing, what else am I going to do? But in LA, Going out, meeting friends, parking. That shit tires me. And that takes the thrill out of listening to Guns N' Roses. It's not cool to be in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I'd be tired, too, if I drove from Santa Monica to West Hollywood listening to Guns N' Roses. That'd be fucking exhausting. You want to feel the wind in your hair as you're smoking a cig out of the window on a hot summer night. Nothing but steers and queers out there, but in L.A., bumper-to-bumper ain't the vibe. I don't mind being cliche in that way. I think it's very fun to kind of just lean in and play Master of Puppets as loud as you can. I have my own stuff like that. You know what I mean? What's your great shame listen? Jason will tell you. Actually, let me set this up because in addition to Metallica, you also took a real 90-degree turn into Chris category where you said...

You had a 30th birthday that was Fallout Boy themed. Fallout Man, if you will. And now you have to convince a straight guy this time, me, to like Fallout Boy. Well, I did call it my Fallout Mitzvah, which was not a joke that landed any time. But I'm saying it again now. I'm hoping that one person in the world will laugh after somebody likes that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fallout Signera. We're brainstorming. No wrong answers. Endless material. I think it would be the exact same thing. There's zero fucking percent chance I'm going to convince you. You don't like being corny is what I'm taking from this. I love the thrill of being corny. I think it's really fun. No, no. Like I was saying, I think we all have our corny. I think there's all things. What Chris and I are saying is that corn is a spectrum, honey. It's not just white and yellow. I have a little Native American in me, so my background in maze is a little more extensive than you guys. He's a maze expert, whisperer, if you will. Yeah, he's a maze. Put me in a maze, honey. I'm getting out. Look, Fallout Boy is something, because August, I used to manage a band that would play with Fallout Boy. So it's part of my history. And I would say they have three to five great songs. And they're fun live. And Pete Wentz needs to get a haircut. That's my full take on the whole situation. Pete, cut the hair. Come on the pod. Stop cock-teasing us. Yeah, he won't come on the pod. But have you seen Fall Out Boy several times where he swings his bass around his body, you know, does the spins? He's really locked that down. It's unbelievable the grace with which he does that. I mean, how many hours do you think he's spent practicing that? I mean, you gotta... Honestly, probably a lot. You know, probably a lot. How many P-basses had to die? Have you seen the... There's a video recently of Springsteen himself, 80-year-old Springsteen.

doing the guitar crab core swing at a show like two weeks ago. I saw that. That old guy still got it. That'll be Pete Wentz in 40 years. I mean, that's a beautiful vision of the future. Well, the thing about Fall Out Boy that's always so shocking to people that kind of stop paying attention is that they're arguably bigger than they ever have been today. They've entered the Imagine Dragons sphere of popularity, right? It's just like we sell out fucking arenas every night, every city. Just like we're a utility. We're big enough to whatever city we come in in America or the world, there's going to be 48,000 people who are like, I'll buy a ticket to that. Sounds awesome. That's fucking wild. There's nothing worse. I'm glad you brought up Imagine Dragons. There's truly nothing worse. than Imagine Dragons. That's one of the all-time great worst. If you're in Imagine Dragons and you're listening to How Long Gone Right Now, we apologize, but it is also true. Except for, I do think it's cool that the singer went viral in Gay World for being so ripped because he took his shirt off and people didn't know and he looked like he was chiseled from stone. That is fucking awesome. He looks great. Pull out the meat, though. I'm sick of imagining what his dragon looks like. Pull it out, queen. Wait, August, I feel like you've seen these photos. These photos hit your WhatsApp. I have not, actually, but this is great. I mean, the only body parts we've discussed is I have seen the photos of Pete Wentz's immense dong, and those live on. in notoriety i forgot don't like one of you have seen them i'm not saying oh i've seen it i've seen it fall out of the basketball shorts you've seen that boy fall out of the basketball shorts that's that no that's a legendary old peedy working with a monster legendary legendary but also you know despite of despite his look and height and whatever It's sort of known that bass players are usually working with a sausage, right? It's a big dick instrument in the band. They're keeping it packed. I didn't know that. Jason's saying that because he's the only instrument. Did he say salchichud up? Well done. Bravo, August. The only instrument Jason can play is two Smashing Pumpkins songs on bass, so he's trying to kind of ride the wave. Wouldn't you know it? I'm a dazzling bass player, but also a bass player.

You need big hands to hit those notes. Those wide frets. That's true. I know. Big frets. Do you play an instrument, August? Well, it's funny you both set me up so well because I did play bass. And, you know, just throwing that out there. Detached. I don't want to lie. Thank you for your honesty, August. Thank you for your bravery and your honesty. So you were slapping to bass. Were you in bands or were you just a hobbyist? I was a hobbyist who played with friends sometimes. And like, it was kind of like how I was with writing for a really long time. I like that. I did it a lot more than I actually did it. Yeah. I mean, that, that was being, you know, I was in high school and I went to some band camps, which I know that's every writer. Yeah. 100%. It turns out the only way to write a book is to not be like that. That's actually right. But that took me like 10 years to figure out. Well, I don't understand. Yeah. When can we kill the narrative from writers that it's like the, they act like they're, All of you guys, your community acts like they're fucking digging ditches out there. Oh, my God. You're sitting in a Borum Hill three-bedroom drinking a pour-over with central AC. We're digging the ditch of our mind, Chris. It's much harder to cultivate and excavate. Writing a book is incredibly hard. It's probably one of the greatest accomplishments one can make, one can complete. An accomplishment that you can complete while your feet are up on a mid-century modern desk and your ice matcha is on a coaster. Yes. The terror of not knowing if you'll make money or that kind of stuff, the unpaid part of it is a pain, but my life is great. My day-to-day life is so fucking easy. I write for five hours and then go on a walk listening to Guns N' Roses and then come home and listen to Fall Out Boy. No, I'm kidding. I'm just watching movies and hanging out with my friends and writing a book. That's so amazing. The people who... view it as this very arduous thing you know i don't know it just seems a little self-congratulatory for me i'm sure there are people who it's a true psychic pain for but i don't know man it's not the coal mine yeah but the problem is if it's gonna if it's gonna be a psychic pain that's fine but you need to come with some goddamn pulitzer heat i can't you can't complain about this and come out the just better be you know what i mean the just better be infinite yeah the just better be fucking infinite it's just

that's what I mean. It's like, if you're going to, if you're going to complain, it's like, all right, well, let's see what you got chief. Otherwise, sure. If you drop like a 900 page, like you're a Nobel type dude and you're talking about the grueling, you know, whatever. But I mean, for someone like me, you know, I work really hard, but it's like, and my book, I think it's bad, but it's sad thinking about bad things, but like, you know, how bad could it really be? I'm walking into the like. fucking bar two blocks from my house right after and laughing with my friends for five hours it's not that big of a deal yeah that's it no you look you have a good attitude you're also done with your book so maybe you're flying high right now for sure also like if you don't like writing the people who are like it tortures me blah blah blah i'm just like just do something else like i like i don't know why i like i like the act It's hard, but whatever. I don't know, man. Just get a fucking different hobby. I guess there are probably a lot of aspiring writers and actual writers listening to this right now. When you go to write this book that you've written... Do you outline the entire story first and then break it down into chapters and things, or do you just start writing and see where it goes? I just go hard from the beginning. No, I had the vague... Day one, you go hard in the paint, and then it just works. Yeah, I'd say just go hard. I knew that it would be structurally as it is. I knew it would be in three different parts. I knew it would cover this kind of... length of time but in general now i just i have scenes i want to hit or like ideas that i think are cool but i i just kind of go in a little blind and i think that's uh that's part of the fun i think that's part of what makes it like you know entertaining day in day out because i feel like when i outline too much i'm just like fulfilling some weird standard that i made for myself it just seems like an insane way to do it Outlining is definitely for nerds. I would agree with you. But I think it's necessary depending on who you are and how you want to be. If you're a nerd. I just feel like if I were to ever write a book, I would forget everything. I would forget everything. I would come up with a dope-ass idea and then...

you know two weeks later when it's time to write that i'd be like oh yeah yeah that's why that's why august keeps a tattered moleskin next to his bed so he can wake up and from his nightmares and jot down just like slash yes he wakes up yes exactly pulls the groupie off of his hog and then goes wait hold on a second wait hold on yeah i am the slash of uh contemporary literature so thank you for saying that um but yeah that's a good it's really good yeah that's a good listeners they won't know but uh yeah that's a real yeah i'll let the i'll let paris review know that you're wearing a full size top hat right now hi the drift this is how long gone he's wearing a hat a full size A full-size hat. Okay, well, that gives me hope that you just go hard and just let it rip. Do you ever use any mind-altering substances in the creative process? Like while I'm writing or just in my day-to-day life? I know you'd use him in your day-to-day life. I think he means while you're writing. I'm not saying do you hit a bong or micro dust mushrooms to get creative, but it could be anything. No, not really. Mr. Brownstone? Like all young people that were in college at some point. I've definitely taken some Adderall in my day, but it doesn't actually lead to great writing. It leads to kind of robotic gold writing. So no, it would be cool, I guess, to be able to write when I was inebriated, I guess. But no, I never do. It's just always awful. So you don't come back from the local watering hole after a couple bumps and brewskis and just sit down and get to it? Fuck no. Whenever I write after I've had a drink, it is just like... so bad and i'm so bored and it's just it's really awful it's another writer cliche i simply don't understand bad and boring yeah exactly yeah um no do you ever work well while inebriated i know or have you ever definitely one of you is off the hood so i'm sober but i've i i never did anything constructive uh on drugs well i mean i did my i live my whole life on drugs for years but i don't know if

I didn't necessarily accomplish anything. I never finished anything. How did I go? Well, that's not true. I did successfully finish. No, no, no, nothing. You started a lot of dope projects, though. I started a lot of dope projects. You did podcasting. That's sick. Well, I hope you finish them one day. My advice would be go hard. No, thank you. Honestly, August, that's similar advice that I would give to someone when they ask about how does it work. It's like, I don't know, dude, just do it, I guess. I don't really know what. It's not as complicated as people want to make it seem. Jason loves to do... Jason gets fucked up before everything, actually. He's probably fucked up right now. I'm not. It's, what, 9 a.m. in LA? I'm not a huge writer, but I do some writing, but I like the idea of writing a bit inebriated just for the initial ideation, just to spark the drop of life from nothing. and then go back and edit with a sober sound mind. You're on your Hemingway game, you know? You're a man's man. It's clear. It's clear to all of us. That's exactly who... Who's that? Yeah, he's like Ernst. I don't know him. He's a writer? They got him in Barnes & Noble? I'll go check it out. I met his granddaughter on a flight one time. He sounds like a dope author. Yeah, he's got hot grandchildren. He must be good at writing. Biden theory. Right? That's what I thought. He must be a good one. That is, okay, so you, but you, because there's a lot of partying in the book. I've done a good deal of partying, yeah. And that's the part that I was going to say, as a person who's also done quite a bit of partying, it feels autobiographical. it feels first person. There was a lot of research done. Yeah. Um, about a decade of research, uh, just, you know, five nights a week going at it. No, I, um, I certainly have been vibed and I still like to imbibe. I'm not going to pretend I'm above it, but, uh, you know, it's, I hope that felt authentic, uh, because I actually think reading, that's what I mean. Yeah. When you've, when you've done a lot of drugs and then you read somebody write about drugs, you can instantly tell.

if they've actually done it or if they are writing true fiction. If it's coming from a place of authenticity. I think nerds writing about doing drugs, it's very embarrassing. And I feel the same way about concert scenes. So the concert scene in my book that I hope, you know, sort of pulled it off a little bit. But yeah, there are just real signifiers of someone like not having really gone out in the world too much and lived a life when you're writing it. yeah i think that the i think also that the relationship is pretty like modern i feel like the the way that the character you know he's like in love with this guy then he's got a girlfriend he's still in love with the guy that feels like something you just don't see that much except on like id's instagram you know what i mean it's like it doesn't seem like a real thing you've never seen euphoria chris no but that's what i mean it doesn't it doesn't seem like it's never presented in in like a realistic way it's presented in more of a fantasy way i think is what i would say yeah for sure i mean i think that was part of like just tying back to not planning things out there's sort of For those who haven't read, including half of the podcast, there's two love interests, Jake being the main one, and then Lou is this woman that the main character meets when he's in his early 20s. Lou seems like a real bitch, but I get it. I get it. I'm very pro-Lou. The apartment's nice. The apartment's nice. You know what I'm saying? I don't know what the body's looking like. The apartment's nice. It could be worse. Yeah. This is a hot topic. You're either in or you're out. But I had not imagined her to be a part of the book whatsoever until I started that section. Until I was about 50% of the way through. Yeah. She just sort of like, I needed someone for the main character to talk to. So she was sort of this utility. And then once she... became a character i think it really helped the book like expand and kind of talk about what you're saying of like these what i view is more contemporary you know like people having these really complicated relationships with people of different genders and like fidelity and sort of how it is to be like fucking multiple people and being in love with multiple people and all that nothing like being a rich 28 year old live like

You know, almost ODing in a bathtub in your brownstone. That's what New York is about. That's what New York is about. God damn it. Sadly, it really, really is. Am I just a utility to you? That's funny, though. I mean, that's interesting because it feels like a pretty big part of the story. So it's crazy that it just kind of came to you halfway through like it was necessary. Yeah, it was dope. I think it helps. turn the book from kind of a more recognizable coming of age queer like you know whatever story into something that i view is a little more complicated um and yeah i hope hope good i don't know yeah i think it'll bring a lot of gay metal enthusiasts out of the woodworks hopefully you know what i mean They're there bubbling underneath the surface. They need a voice. It's me and Rob Halford just holding it down. We're peas in a pod for sure. Sure, sure. You're kind of one and two on the list. I'm waiting him out as soon as he's gone. How medley do you get? Are we going deep Norwegian black metal? Are we going real wild stuff? Are you fastballed down the middle? I think I'm pretty fastballed down the middle. I also just, like, don't discover new music almost at all anymore. I don't know where you guys are in your lives. Have you checked out Spotify? They do some kind of great algorithmic recommendations if you're interested. I don't know. I mean, I don't do it. They keep recommending me, like, do you know the genre gent or whatever it is? D-J-E-N-T? It's, like, do you know what I'm talking about? Or no? Yeah. No. Okay. I don't. It's, like, basically drop down, like, every single, like, string to be as sludgy as possible. And it's... i'm out most of it is absolute ass so they're feeding me stuff like that and i'm i'm good so i would say i i would say i'm pretty all american basic when it comes to my my metal taste um but that's like the dopest part of being a little bit older i have nothing to prove anymore like i don't give a shit about seeming like i have cool music taste i mean i was obsessed i mean we just part of our job is to keep up so i i think it's right we talk to so many musicians and also i just like it but yeah i mean i think that

If you stop, it's really hard to start again. But also, if you come from the grade, you're like, okay, this is good, but is it better than Sabbath? No. I'm just going to go listen to Black. Does it rock harder than Lemmy? Probably not. I'll just listen to Motorhead. Is it sadder than Elliot Smith? I didn't think so. I know where to go. I don't know. I can't think of the last album I went age shit over that. I'm also a huge hip-hop person, and half of the good rappers died or became cancelable in the last five years. Was it Chief Keef, Almighty So Too? I am a huge Chief Keef hit, I'm not going to lie. We all are. Welcome home, brother. Welcome home again. We made it. Welcome home. Chris doesn't realize Chief Keef's greatness as much as I do. Oh. But I'm glad you're an ally. Something I saw this week which made me really think hard was that somebody tweeted the only person who's really gotten canceled is DaBaby. And it's kind of true. Whoa. Where did he go? What happened to that man? I mean. No, honestly, it's kind of true. He was huge. Didn't he do a song with Dua Lipa? He was like doing shit like that. Like he was doing wild shit. He was on the Dua Lipa remix and then the label removed him. from from that remix it's he's no longer found on check spot wow i'm sure he can still get i'm sure he can still get 20k for a walkthrough in charlotte but the the real i don't know i don't know he's back to regional i think it's it's he's he's been he's been canceled by the zeitgeist not by a person or the police it's just an interesting just like the entire world is like I'm all set on DaBaby. To make it that far, when you start getting put on the pop remix, that's hallowed ground. That's very, very rare. 100%. To fuck that up. With Dua Lipa, there's probably been three other rappers or something like that. He really blew it, man. That's got to be hard to watch. He really blew it. I don't remember what he did, to be honest. I don't remember what he did. Probably something terrible. But I also agree with Jason.

i think everyone was like also this guy's kind of lame like it was both yeah he is lame something moral and realizing that he uses the same flow for every single bird if you're if you're lame if you're lame and you do something it's very easy for people to forget you yeah you know knives are out knives are out yeah he he was like um he was like a like a matcha pancake or something like that like where it comes out everyone's like oh this is cool and new and dope and then a month later they're like I'm just going to have a regular pancake. It's better. I don't need this. You know what I mean? It's very novel, fly-by-night flow. And we were all like, no. And also DaBaby's scaring the host, which is not... You can't take a risk like that in 2024. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I mean, Lil Baby won. We're living in Lil Baby's world, and DaBaby's out. Yeah, that's true. I mean, if there's a baby battle... It's done. Daycare's out. You mentioned seeing a lot of movies, liking going out to the movies with your friends and family before and after the bar. Chris is sort of a known. He's coming around. He said earlier in the intro with his older age, he's becoming more open-minded to things. He's starting to do things like... watch movies but beforehand he was very you know he wants i'm anti-movie he's anti-movie cinema box offices he says close the box office indefinitely what what do you what do you think the future of of movie theater irl attendance is i know a lot like friend of our show john early is very adamant about trying to get people to go see films in the theaters so they don't go away the Alamo Drafthouse loyalty program? I am. I'm a member of that. It's walking distance. You know what I love? The Alamo is his Alamo. I love getting to the third act of a sad movie like Moonlight and someone eating a blue cheese salad right next to you. I find that to be very cohesive. It's really beautiful. I told this story on the podcast, but I remember seeing Moonlight at Angelica.

And it was like long after it, like after it won the award and everything. Right. And the guy behind me, like 45 minutes in, I was like, yeah, I can't take no more of this gay shit and got up and left. and i was like damn we're in manhattan this is so cool this is crazy this just happened what did you think this was gonna be about yeah like also at the angelica like i know i know i know like a homophobe is pulling up to the angelica like you have to look for that there's not a gayer theater than angelica well there are but you can jerk off in them legally this is a you know as far as as far as like corporate movie theaters you know for standard film Programming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're saying you don't... So you like sad movies? I like them all. I really do love going to the movies more than anything. It's probably my favorite thing to do. So what happened to you that you don't like going to the movies? Do you feel like you're bored? The divisive devices destroyed his attention span. Well, I never was... We didn't do that as a family. That wasn't part of my life, really. I mean, I've seen all the stuff I need to see, except like... i don't know titanic and star wars and you know kind of all that stuff but i just don't i can't but he's also a voracious reader his attention span is able to stay attuned for the page some there's something where i think inner visual entertainment i want only reality tv that's what i want like that kind of thing or like a sports documentary i don't even like sports and then If I'm going to spend my time doing something that enriches me, I think that should be reading. And I know it all can work that way. I'm just an idiot, but that's how I feel. He'll even watch a female sports documentary. That's how dark I'm willing to go. But you've never seen the sport itself. You just know. No, no, I've seen the sport itself. I'm talking particularly. There's been a. uh several like really good kind of netflix like a tour de france one about you know it's like stuff like that it's all very interesting because i like to watch people quarterback f1 i like to watch people work out is what it comes out okay yeah you're living by curious not not in that way don't look at me like that and he'll even watch a woman work out i saw challengers and i liked it i love that movie

I mean, every movie could be 30 minutes less. Well, that's very true. I think the one hour, 45 minute movie is like ideal. It's like the 280 page book. You know, there's kind of these. That's what we grew up. That's also what we grew up with. 100%. Like an hour and a half, hour 45 was what everything was. It's insane that you have like a three hour or like a. two hour 45 minute like fast and furious movie like i just don't i don't i like dumb action movies but that is so long that's like a whole day you leave the theater and like keep keep the the three hours for the killers of the flower moons those those epic you know oppenheimer tales but if it's about how a robot fights a car we we can keep it under two we can get 100 and if we if we if we have no doubt that the good guys are going to beat the bad guys we can keep it under two and and let's move but my my theory or like what what i like to prescribe to in the in the movies world i i disagree with chris but i also agree with him in that i only watch films on the airplane now and because of that when i see that three hour and 18 minute runtime i say the more the merrier bring on the slop because i got nothing but time to kill what do you think the best airplane movie you've seen is because it's it's a specific genre of like a movie i would only watch on a plane because it wasn't good enough to see in the theater but i end up kind of like loving it like i saw no hard feelings the jennifer lawrence movie And it was, like, I had, like, you know, I was, like, a half-pound opinion, and I had, like, three glasses of wine, and I forget what I was saying. I was, like, this is so fucking delightful. This is great. That's a perfect, perfect airplane movie. Yeah. What was your last great one? Last great one. I mean, I often return to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood as... It's a movie that I would see in the theaters as well, but it's a great plane movie because it's long. It has a little bit of everything, but the last great plane movie I saw was Catch Me If You Can because it's airplane related, but also early, young Leo when he's hot.

Tom Hanks chasing them all over the country. Tom Hanks that is peak hot, Tom Hanks. I've never seen that, actually. Not a film that I would need to go run to the AMC Cinema and see it in 4DX IMAX, but it comes on the plane and you're like, what a film. Everything I needed. I'll take another glass of Chardonnay, please. Jason went through a phase where he watched Tar like three times in a row. Also a great plane movie. I ride for Tar, so you're in good company. I like Tar. I saw Tar and I did like Tar, but I was just like, we were, I think we were on tour and I would just look at his screen every time we were on the plane for like eight flights. I'm walking down the aisle of my accordion apartment for sale. I was, I was tarred up. The tackle and tar where she just decks that dude, the other conductor, is not talked about enough. That was a clean tackle. That was brave form. She just rips it up. How many takes do you think that took, or do you think it was just off rip? She's three-point stance, bang, bang. I feel like Cate Blanchett's got enough of the darkness within her that she probably was like, we could go for another. She was running a few unnecessary ones, like a David Blanchett thing. Wipes the blood from her mouth. We'll do it again. Let's do it. We'll do it again. It's fine. We'll do it again. 100%. First stunt person, most likely. So you're going to the theater. Now, if I go to the movies, I, of course, prefer to go alone, like a civilized adult. Definitely. As a cinephile, do you agree? And what's the snack? Are you having junior mints? What's going on? Dude, I'm so cheap. I sneak in stuff. I usually go like a peanut M&M bag and then sometimes a Coke if I'm feeling frisky or a sparkling water. Yeah, I'm a real man of luxury over here. Where do you put the Coke in your pants? Sock? I play the bass. No one can tell the difference. Say no more. Say no more, my friend. I'll bring a shirt and I bundle it around my snacks and I sort of carry it like this. That's smart.

You've got the flannel, and it's encasing your two-liter of soda. Two-liter. And also, when you go to a film alone, you're able to walk out at any given moment without any hesitation or worry that you're a seatmate. But speaking of smuggling in snacks into a theater, I believe your book has a decent amount of shoplifting in play. And I was wondering if that's autobiographical. And if so, do you steal out of a control thing or is it a poor thing? I actually was always way too scared to steal. I thought it was so cool. So I've stolen like, I still like these things that were called crazy bones. This was like a fad game from my childhood where you'd like flick little plastic freaks at each other. I stole some of those. We're familiar with crazy bones. Okay. We're in a crazy bone state environment. I was racked with guilt for that about six months after, so I was not a big shoplifter at all. Did you guys steal? Do you? Well, I guess you can't say you do currently because you're rich and famous. I would say I was a semi-professional shoplifter in the later years of my teens. I made a living stealing. What were you taking? Like clothes or what? There were some diesel jeans, of course. What do you need, August? What do you need? Yeah, what do you need? But my big haul was often air conditioning units, like window units, because I would... just confidently wheel them out of home depot and no one would say anything okay and all my friends all my friends at the time were living in these warehouses where they built their own rooms they all needed ac units wow so it's half off i'm over here like i thought you were doing oxycontin not meth no what are you doing stealing air conditioners no this was before this i was straight edge that's the best part of all of this so you were looking for a thrill this is before we realized that like security guards can't do anything right you know which is like the whole issue now is that like they just have to watch you know unless the vigilantes stop you you're getting away with it well you're one good guy with a gun away from getting murdered over an ac unit so you know how did you how did you know how did you know that's what jason calls me that's so cute yeah i still be shoplifting to this day but small small stuff not yeah not air conditioning it's more of like this organic cilantro is actually being rung up as not organic at checkout

That's 39 cents going back into my wallet. I'll shoplift to skip a line. That's like, like I'm a convenience shoplifter. Like if there's a long line at the Walgreens and I'm buying a water, like sometimes I'll just walk out. I'm like, this is like, it's $1. I'm going to be here for 45 minutes. This water is mine now, but yeah, I live on the edge. I like to do that. I like to do that. I like to live on the edge sometimes at the airport where my flight's about to board. Yeah. And I'll go, I'll go into the Hudson and grab that nice smart water. look around like oh oh and then run over to the gate just as the door is closing oh my did i forget to pay i'll get you the next time no hudson news and then they close the doors anywhere there's a self-checkout anywhere there's a self-checkout to be honest they deserve it yeah That's anti-labor. They're getting taken down one way or the other. Employ your people. Then I won't have to rob you. So what are we doing with this book? Are we going to sell it to a studio? Who's making the movie? Is it a TV show? Hulu sniffing around. I got Hulu. Hulu sniffing around. Somebody wants it. Somebody wants it. I hope somebody will want it. Then I can buy the snacks at the Alamo. Then I can get my own blue cheese salad. You have several agents, I'm sure. I do. several agents yeah they're they're working overtime you know yeah we know how hard agents work i'm sure it's gonna happen i'm sure it's gonna yeah they're they're checking their gmail twice twice a day easily minimum refreshing twice a day yeah waiting for some inbound unless unless this unless the swell is super good then i'm kind of like i can't i'm sure i'm sure you've been asked this question a lot in your on your press run so i apologize in advance if you've been but We always ask the Dreamcasting if it were to go. Who's playing who? This is a toughie. I mean, I would love if I could time travel and have River Phoenix in there as Jake as the love interest. I think he would be really perfect. That's really good. Who's today's River? We don't have one. We don't have a River, do we? No. That's the whole thing. We need a hot, cool guy that's got a little bit of an edge.

I'm right here, August. I'm right here. I don't act, but I have everything else. Chris, a young person. Do you ever look at Jacob Elordi and think I could fix him by ruining him? I think he could fix me. No, he's too large. He's so large. I simply can't. He is too large. He's too large. I'm sorry, Jacob Lord. You seem like a great guy, but get on the court. River's a good call. Obviously, it's not going to happen, but I could see that, too. Our casting agent... listenership is rifling through the river Rolodex right now seeing who we got. There could be some unknown up-and-comers that we get for a cheap price. I think we might have to go unknown. A little dirt under the nails. The studios love making a game movie with unknowns. That's how they get their big budget. From a first-time author? Oh, man. What a security blanket. That's an easy 40 mil from what I understand. We're going to pass on Timothy. And go for more of an unknown. We love an unknown. I mean, look, if you've got a suck dick on camera, baby, some people ain't willing. Even if the intimacy coordinator is there. You're known now. You're known now. Yeah. You just got brown bunnies, honey, so get comfy. Exactly. Oh, exactly. Yeah, is there a role for Vinnie Gallo on here somewhere, speaking of the bun? I don't think so, man. What is he up to? Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know if I need to know. He sells weird ephemera of his own on his own website. Oh, does he sell dicks? His own dick? Is that what it is? I mean, he might do that privately. He's like a male e-girl. He's selling underwear and socks and shit. Do you want to buy this coffee mug? Yeah, but it's signed. Yeah, it's like that. Cool. I can see where your advance is going. All right, August. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure. Guys, the book Anyone's Ghost is out everywhere you get books. So go to your local bookseller. Go to Amazon.com. Fuck it. Go to...

Go to Barnes and Noble. Steal this book, you guys. Borders. Support labor. Borders if you got one. It's really great. I fully endorse it. So thank you for joining us. Thanks so much for having me, y'all. Yeah. Have a good one. I'll catch you later. Yeah, we'll see you soon. All right, later. Thanks, August.