830. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone Chris Black and DJ Them Jeans coming to you live from Copenhagen? Copenhagen. You know the offspring song, Pretty Fly for a white guy? I do know that. The intro of it starts off with a guy saying something in Austrian or something. Really? I didn't know that. It's like, Really? Give it to me, baby. Wow, you're hitting the note. You're making Dexter look bad. No noodles. Dexter's fresh. Hey, chill, bro. Dexter's fresh on the mind. I was watching some dumb video. inside the studio session with like producers and mix and down engineers and it was it was the offspring and it was the guy not the offspring the mastermind behind their sound the architect if you will and he it was funny because he sings in a very high pitch squeal already you know he has like a yeah that's his natural like he's always screaming in a high pitch and then the guy who was recording them was like the little producer secret, you always have, you know, if the song is in A, then, you know, we always have him sing like one, one octave or one note higher, you know, hit him in a G and that's when the song really comes alive. So he's already like peaking and then he had to, and then the producer's like, what if you sang it higher? And now for the rest of his life, his like 60 year old ass is on stage at like the Cabo Wabo Festival.

And he's got a scream at the highest pitch possible. Poor bastard. I wonder if they've just taken everything down a peg so he can achieve the goal. They do drop detuning for all their songs. We got the seven string Ibanez. That's a different thing. If you don't know what we're talking about, guys, sorry about that. No one doesn't know the offspring. All of our young... Female listeners who are here for Fashion Week really want to talk about drop D tuning for regional SoCal punk bands. If you don't know, first of all, Offspring is not regional. Second of all, if you don't know about drop D tuning, you should get familiar. That's my, that's what I said. Yeah, I suggest Wikipedia backslash drop D tuning. Read that and then come see me. Then you can come talk to me. Yeah, so we're here in Copenhagen. The code switching has begun for me. This is a country where I'm able to code switch and they like it versus the typical opposite. Even just in London, a place where English is the spoken language. When I code switch to them, they're like, what are you saying? Why do you do that? I don't think British people will ever reward a British accent, even if it's perfect. They won't give you the satisfaction. I agree. Quietly, I just want them to know. I want to see in their eyes that they think I'm doing a good job, even if they're huffing and puffing. But here... Even if I get a three out of ten, they go, oh, I'm delighted to hear. Thank you for taking the time to learn the language. Three out of ten. Yeah, I mean, it's a cultural difference. I think British people just think you're making fun of them when you're not. It's a sign of respect where I come from. If you do a southern accent to me, I look at it as a sign of respect. And because everyone there is so kind of depressed and dreary, so they expect the worst. But here in Copenhagen, life is so good. That's right. The thought of somebody insulting me or my language or my country doesn't even register at all. Look what our tax dollars do. How could I be upset by anything? You walk out the front door and there's a 10 out of 10 riding a bicycle built for seven.

it's because they gotta hold other kids on their way to get free health care and like oh today i have chocolate for breakfast and i'm a size zero that's all they do every day i saw a um i saw like a display at the 7-eleven i was getting water this morning and it was dubai chocolate and denmark it was like they had made like a denmark version i was like i don't think that's the same thing i don't think you can just put any country name on it uh i guess they can i mean i mean technically sure but i did did they do anything to make i didn't i couldn't read the signage oh because it's in yeah i just saw the big labels and i was like this is funny that they're like choose you got to choose i wonder if it's just like regular it's just like It's a regular bar of Milka chocolate. Or if they've added like this is chocolate with mackerel floss that has been woven with matcha inside. Can you imagine some mackerel floss? We discovered this at Duty Free because Dubai chocolate is obviously a trend that is sweeping the world. But I thought it was just like harvested there or some shit. I didn't know. Like a blood diamond? Yeah, I didn't know that like. It had some extra. You didn't know that was a special thing. I literally thought it was just like really good. Oh, right, right, right. Like Colombian coffee or Texas barbecue, whatever. And I was like, well, I've never heard of Dubai chocolate, and I'm a chocolate lover. I thought it was referring to oil, just like Texas tea. You know what I mean? Exactly. You're telling me. Yeah, so I just didn't realize. And then we were at Duty Free. That nice woman was talking about it. And then I asked her. You're like, no, it's got like. It's got basically like a grid system of flavor inside of it is what I was told. I've never had it because I respect myself too much, but you open it up and it has like a floss of like a stringy woven kind of like a fried vermicelli noodle, but even more thin. And I believe it's dusted with green. I don't know if it's matcha or if it's sour apple. I'm sure there's varieties at this point. Yeah, they have a chocolate strawberry labubu boba.

filling or whatever now but it's i'm sure it's fine i hope you never try it i just don't understand i i guess i just but the woman that was working at duty free at the where she was she was just like a blonde an old blonde woman who's like it's a bit sickly Yeah, she hated it. She was talking shit on it. She was talking a lot of shit on it. But I agree. I was like, is this like a gimmick chocolate? And she's like, yeah, love, it's a gimmick. Yeah, I mean, it feels like a gimmick, but the pricing also makes it feel like more of a gimmick. When you've been slanging those Cadbury dairy milk and egg fruit bars and they're delicious and there's no reason to mess it up, you got the fucking... dubai coming in i don't know if there's racially charged notes to it or whatever but i i need to i i'm going to look into it more because i do want to know spend the day where this spend the day today just a couple hours block out i just didn't i just still don't understand where or how it i mean obviously i know where it came from dubai but i'm saying how did it i don't know if what is the rise to prominence was there a celebrity on a yacht eating it in a paparazzi photo was it foodie weirdos i would say there's a 50 chance that it was not created in dubai uh i would also agree with you i think somebody just saying they could be using the dubai high-end brand as a smoke screen i think someone who's like trying to launder their drug money and they are friends with the chocolatier they do what are you working on you got a new thing splash the dubai name on it next thing you know we're good to go it's called a rebrand when i was um when we were in bedford There's the new cool cafe there. Do you remember masked chocolate? Yeah, I remember masked chocolate. Disgraced chocolatiers? Guess what they're doing now? They're up in Bedford with a cool cafe for white people. I couldn't believe it. I was like, wait, because it has the same name and it was good. Mass Chocolates Whites Only Cafe. The food was good and it had pantry items, a bakery, the whole thing. And I saw this display of 40 different mass chocolate bars. I hadn't seen mass chocolate in years. I tried not to go to Brooklyn. Literally ran out of town. Yeah, they ran out of town. But now they have a whole operation up there. And I just wondered if could this Dubai chocolate create another disgraced chocolatier? I thought that was a once in a lifetime.

Kind of situation. Pardon my memory, but they... The problem was that they found out that this is just regular-ass chocolate. Yeah, this shit is like Hershey's, basically. But with a good brand. You know, it's a very timely branding, a color story, the whole thing. Don't put a turd in the Fortnum and Mason wrapping paper, tie a bow on it, and try to sell me that it ain't. But I don't think they were, like, lying about it. I don't think they could, like, legally put, you know... I think people just assume because of the way it looked that it's the customer's fault is what I'm trying to say. They weren't making any false claims, but they also weren't being completely forthright with their info. I think the pricing made people think that it was of a premium variety because they were paying so much and the design looked like that. And I have to say, congrats to the disgraced chocolatiers. It's buyer error, user error. It's just like a Maserati car. It's like, hey, this car costs $200,000. It's all tied up in some cool design, but on the inside, it's just like an Isuzu Trooper guts. It sounds like shit. It's going to break down. That's your own fault for not doing the research. The thing is chocolate tastes good. That's cut. I think chocolate tastes good. With fruit mixed. And I just think that if you like it, you like it. Who cares? I don't give a fuck where it comes from. And also, if you're the type of person who is like... This chocolate bar costs $28. I want it more because of that. You kind of deserve that. Enjoy it. Either get the kick out like a man or go to the grocery store and get the high-end shit. Get a kinder bar with a cartoon baby lion on the front or something. Man up. So we had our show in London. It went quite well at the 100 Club. I was a little worried that a Monday night live show would be ill attended, but it was probably our best show in London that we've had, I would say. Yeah, I think that there's maybe some August laid-back vibes where a Monday night feels a little more acceptable to be out. And also I was thinking...

most people don't want to waste their friday or saturday night on a live podcast recording that's right versus like hey monday what else we're gonna do watch big bang and and order some spag bowl yeah there's nothing else to do that's that's a the competition was lesser let's say it's a big bang bow but i don't know if um i also just i feel like that we're offering an experience that is finished at a reasonable hour So on a weekday, it should be fine any weekday, really. The show's 8.30 to 9.30. You go to dinner, have a couple espresso martinis, rock up to the club, enjoy an hour of comedy with timeless content creators from around the world. You're home by 10 o'clock, tuck the kids back in that you got a sitter for, watch Law & Order Bristol, and then off to bed. Yeah, you're back. It's no problem. Law & Order Sussex. It really is a good offer as far as weeknight goes. And thank you to everyone that did come out. We had an after party at the Devonshire, which is the hottest pub in town, I'm assuming, right? I think it still is, yeah. I mean, especially after Monday. Put it on the map. But it was a thing we've been talking about with a lot of locals there. What are you doing? A great business, a great thing. gets fucked out and ruined by tiktokers and you know much like a dubai chocolate or a cronut or whatever it might be what are you supposed to do when you own a cool pub and everyone's like the guinness here is amazing and now you have 300 people you know from all over the world and they don't even know that guinness is a beer let alone you know any history about it or how you're supposed to drink or whatever and i was talking to a bartender there and he said People will come, wait in line, order a Guinness, and then ask for a straw because they think it's like a milkshake or a boba thing. They don't even know it's a beer. Unfortunately, I know that that's stupid, but it's really funny. When you hear it, you can see how plausibly that whole scenario could go down. It's also funny enough to me, whereas if I worked at the Devonshire, I would be like, sure, here's your straw.

I would have straws ready because then that's sort of a mind game to let them embarrass themselves more drinking a beer out of a straw on camera for their audience. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot. because I can't do anything. You need some art hung, TaskRabbit. You need something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive. And that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code How long? Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable.

And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen.

Is it a bad or a poor reflection of your business as a whole that you let... It's populated by people who do bullshit like this. No. Every business is populated by people that do bullshit. Just like how Prince Street Pizza is like, no fucking ranch, no gay ass ranch here, get that shit out. That doesn't affect their business at all. I know it doesn't. The same way that giving out a straw would not deter anyone at all. If Prince Street had sides of ranch for $1.50 and you... dip your crust in it the world will keep spinning either way the world will keep spinning is my point like it doesn't ranch or no ranch that kind of stuff doesn't actually affect business because people aren't it should yeah like but you don't want i mean prince street pizza is not a good example because it's i'm not going to go there but it's like a would the ranch make your experience that much better or can you live without it? And most people are like, well, I want it, but I can live without it. Yeah, I mean, it's the same thing. There's so many of these great whatever, we need a word for whatever this is, but I also think of the sushi park, no soy sauce rule, or if you want a California roll with spicy tuna, go somewhere else. We do real sushi here, brother. Unfortunately, I'm a fan of the California roll. A well-executed California roll is a perfect balance of flavors. Let me say something definitively. White people, you can't be anti-sushi that's made for you. You can't think you're above that because you're not. This isn't your culture. I don't care how much you've read about how the fish gets imported and how great you think your palate is and blah, blah, blah. shut up a california rolls is is good do you think the california roll is i guess the california roll is made for white people or it's made for californians yeah no that that that too but it's just i i don't think that i don't know but i feel like asian people they're like yeah imitation crab it's just like we grew up eating it because it's like cheaper and it tastes fine and whatever there's no stigma attached and then white people are like what do you mean it's made out of like squashed mackerel carcasses yeah

yeah you know steamed pollock or whatever it is but you know asian people fuck with mayonnaise just as much as white people do i just don't think yes no that's definitely trust me and they've they've found interesting ways to use it not as much as these people do here in denmark though they fuck with mayonnaise hard hard body when we went to the restaurant bobe yesterday and we had the uh the french fries dusted in fennel pollen a great chip there was that little you know, shit emoji. Beautiful pile. It was a beautiful pile. It was a perfect... It looked like marshmallow kind of to me. It looked like marshmallow of mayonnaise squirted down on there. But, I mean, this is where mayonnaise goes down, brother. But what... That mayonnaise had... Did it have a flavor or no? I don't think it was just a jar of Hellman's scooped into a piping bag. No, of course. I mean, with that... I think they added a little something. With the fennel pollen, I was... It was hard for me to... I was distracted. I think our listeners kind of all know at this point how fennel and the fennel pollen affects you. It kind of sends me into a tizzy. I think we need to be a little more judicious with our fennel pollening. I don't know if I encounter fennel pollening that much. That's one of the names of flea's daughters. No, flennel, she's actually an amazing graphic artist. Fennel! Pollen! Downstairs! Now! Yeah, there's at Kispaca, Nancy Silverton's restaurant, the first time I had it, they had a pork chop dusted with fennel pollen. And the flavors of fennel pollen and pork dance together. Okay. But also, you know, then everything, you're buying a fucking $800 piece of pork and it just tastes like fennel. So, you know, there's the other thing. That's what it is. which takes us back to what we were talking about before, putting ketchup on the ribeye. I don't look down upon people who choose condiments that I wouldn't choose. I think everybody should eat what they want to eat, and you might get made fun of. Eat what you want to eat. Sing what you want to sing. I just don't understand. Bro, it doesn't make somebody's IQ lower if they like their steak medium well. It's just not what you like. It doesn't affect their IQ, but it's a display of their self-discipline.

I don't think it is. I think it's a display of I want what I want and I'm going to get it. And that's what we all do. When I'm smoking a cig, I want to dip it into formaldehyde, but I don't because in polite society, it's frowned upon to get wet. That's you not having enough confidence to get wet. When I'm doing a little bump off the webbing of my hand, I want to lick it and rub it on my gums, but everyone's going to look at me like I'm a freak show. No, of course. And I'm not saying you're not going to be judged. I want to lick the back of the V magazine because that's what we've been racking lines on. I'm saying that if you like something, you should do it no matter what. Sort of blowback you're going to get from society. When it's as low stakes as how something is cooked. If you like something, you should do it, man. You should. I just don't. I mean, putting eggs on ketchup is disgusting. Yeah. Excuse me, ketchup on eggs, but. Unless, of course, it's in a roll with bacon, egg, and cheese. I can't. I couldn't get past that. Even though it is a sandwich form factor. Yeah. Well, let's move on. I guess we can talk about sweets a little bit. I'm in the middle of my annual tree talks right now, which is why the nightmares have begun. And you're, what, day eight on sweets? Yeah, day eight. It feels good. I called my sponsor this morning. He said, put the Betty Crocker down. You don't need to snort that. You said you poured the jar of sprinkles down the toilet here. I saw a crazy video that's like... When you go to a, it was like a black woman working at an ice cream shop and there's like a sprinkle, all the toppings for your ice cream, you know, hot fudge and brownie bites and whatever. And there was the chocolate sprinkles and then there's the rainbow sprinkles. And then it's like, do you want the colored sprinkles or the sprinkles of color? kind of makes you think a little bit sprinkles of color um you know in one of those head scratchers like do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass after they take a shit you know how do you know but um speaking of other gross things friend of the show calvin harris congratulations he uh he had a baby with god knows who he knows he knows her what you know when somebody just like

They're like DJing in Ibiza one day and the next day there's a picture of a newborn on their lap. And you're like, I didn't even know. I don't keep up with the going ons of Calvin Harris. But if you scroll a few, it's like a photo of him with the baby on the couch and blah, blah, blah. And then I think they did a natural water birth at the house. Oh, I'm sure that they did. And then you scroll down a couple more slides into the carousel. And there is a high definition. load that pinch and zoom in that 4k of the placentia laid out on some brawny paper towels and the umbilical cord has been shaped into a heart this is one of the worst things i've ever heard and it was the jump scare of jump scares i would say this is calvin harris also i imagine has multi-millions of followers yeah tens of millions of followers and dollars i guess and then if you scroll more through the slides it'll show the process of him dehydrating the uh the it's a common practice dehydrate the placentia you know put it into the noma fermentation station and crack it up into some pills and bro this is fucked up like i'm not not that it doesn't obviously like i get it it's it's i just it's a part of the human body yeah this just does not feel like something that it should be posted on social media it's a violation it's a it looks like he's he's created like a blood flower out of with with a stem and then the this is they're opening for seven dust in uh in dusseldorf wait he's married i don't know he says he said so grateful i like his wife is here let's click This is one of the worst things you've ever brought to my attention. And we've spent years bringing bad stuff to each other's attention. That's our job. Do you think that this was Calvin's idea to post the umbilical cord? Actually, yes, I do. Yes, I do. I strongly think it was his idea. And it also reminds me of the Nirvana song. Yes. The umbilical noose.

heart-shaped box we have a heart-shaped umbilical noose this is is this like some pizza gate shit it i i wish calvin harris was that smart um but i don't if calvin harris was a pizza gate i wouldn't be super surprised no that's not out of the realm of possibility i i guess this is just more this is just a an extreme version illustration of everything doesn't need to go on instagram it's just that is not that's between you and her Yeah, when you have a baby. And your doula and night nurse and assistant, of course. When you have the baby, the baby comes out, you clean it, you hose that shit off, put a bow on the head, and then we could take a photo for the Instagram. When I wake up in the morning and I look like shit, I got crust in my eyes and I'm all fucked up, I don't post a photo of that on my social media. It's a place. Instagram is not a real place. We don't need to see. The whole point is that it's a fantasy. It's what life could be. It's the highlights. It's only the good stuff. Take that shit to Flickr. I know this is the good stuff as far as he's concerned. But I didn't know he had gone down. The good stuff. I didn't know he was like. Is he sober? Has he gone down a little bit of a Topanga style rat hole? I think so. Because that's what this screams of. This doesn't scream of like. progressive this screams of like i'm anti-vax i think yeah i think that he he got erewan pillage and i think his wife is probably because of their location and access to funds i think i think they're doing what they're throwing money at wellness things that are still you know on the bleeding edge of You know, we're still figuring it out kind of thing. We're looking for new volunteers. We'll spend $20,000 on a red light bed for our whole body. Yeah, we're removing blood and we're adding stuff to it, squirting it back in. We're spinning the block with our... Spinning our blood and the block. With our OT. That is... Thank you for bringing that to my attention as well as our listeners' attention, though. This is something... This is important. And I wonder if those placenta pills really do...

you know are they a superfood of some sort i don't know hit reddit i'm sure you can find some if you want to try if i like is is this placentia good only for the mother because you're putting it back into you or can i take someone else's placentia powder and will i get the benefits from it the same amount who knows you know what jason i don't know and additionally i don't care let's say somebody had a kid that is a cool famous person They get their placenta powdered and pilled. We can sell one of those. How much would one of Emily Ratajkowski's placenta pills cost on the red market? That's a great question. I don't know what the going right is. The bidding begins at $8,000. I also took note of something as we've been traveling the last couple of days, and I'm going to predict something. Enough time has passed. And now I think that Charles Gnarls Barkley crazy is going to come back. Oh, I noticed this too because we heard it several times in the last three days. And one was a kind of loungy cover. But then the original. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the original is a – he got – but didn't CeeLo Green the Soul Machine, Atlanta's own? The human sphere. He got – He got low-key canceled for basically just having orgies, though. I didn't know that. I mean, he went away. He had the biggest song in the world, and then he kind of just disappeared. CeeLo got the freak-off. CeeLo was having his own freak-offs is what I believe. I didn't know that. I mean, I guess I believe it because nobody wanted to fuck him before, and then when he got that Gnarls Barkley money. Don't do that to an OG member of Goody Mob. Don't do that. That's Atlanta royalty right there. Whenever I see him, like when you're watching Willy Wonka. Let's get Big Gip on the pod. Big Gip, if you're listening. I'm a Gip fan, personally. He's more of a long and slender fellow like myself. Unfortunately, in this situation, I'm the CeeLo Green, and you're the Big Gip. BigGip at gmail.com. There's the unironic return of the Black Eyed Peas.

which is something that at the at the dare dj set like we heard that and i was like and you mentioned that to me before and i of course wasn't aware of it because i'm not uh in the clubs like that or on tiktok the two places where this seems to be happening and then i heard it for myself and i watched the reaction of all of these you know 22 year old non-binary the dare fans that have piercings yeah i was it makes you wonder because forever like when we were 22 and people were like playing old songs ironically in the club and then the older head generation that we knew would be like are you guys fucking serious like this is the dumbest shit like when this song came out and i was there for the first time it was the most embarrassing you know most low level mental shit you could be listening to are you enjoying it now earnestly or did you put it on as a joke and then it's funny and then a month later now we actually do like the black eyed peas it's tough it could creep into your psyche when it's that catchy and professionally done yeah i mean black eyed peas songs i don't want to listen honestly i think we should have will i am on the pod and i want to talk to him about it i'll talk to will i am i mean i don't want to talk to him about any of his anything else though i don't want to talk about his innovation studio i don't want to talk about his clothes his glasses any of that strictly bep i think we'll talk i think i think i'll maybe i'll send him a dm because we used to be friends yeah i think he i mean it is cool to see that happen to anyone really because i think it's just such an interesting trend overall yeah because there's so many layers to it because obviously when the black eyed peas came out and those songs you know let's get retarded in here and And just all those songs, meet me halfway and pump it louder. You know, it's same as like LMFAO. Like there were lots of people who are unironically, earnestly enjoying that music. And now when the people are returning to it, are those people like happy that they're...

their bad music has now become popular again. Fuck yeah, they're happy. I mean, their business manager's happy. Their fucking ex-wife's happy. Their kids are happy. I mean, like the dorky 30-year-old who was dancing to it when they were like 12 years old or whatever it was. And now that it's come back, are they like, you know what? I do like this thing that's awful. Are you talking about revisionist history, what we do all the time with fucking corn and limp biscuit and Rage Against the Machine? It's the same. It's the same idea, but at least these songs, again, I don't need to listen to them or ever hear them again, but they are fucking absolute hits. They are smashes. They feel like they are scientifically engineered to resurface because they're that good. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early, and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

Hi Talk House Network listeners, it's your old friend Nels Klein from Wilco here. Wilco is touring this summer and we'd love to see you somewhere on the road. We're playing shows this June and July in Rochester Hills, Michigan, Chautauqua, New York, Lafayette, New York, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Vienna, Virginia, Forest Hills, New York, Portland, Maine, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Memphis, Tennessee, LaGrange, Georgia, Charleston, South Carolina. Virginia Beach, Virginia, Wheeling, West Virginia, and Columbus, Ohio. Plus, there are even more dates, some with Willie Nelson that I didn't even mention here. So please go to wilkoworld.net to see the full list of dates. We'll see you on the road this summer. Study and play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. I guess you're right. It's a formula that will stand the test of time. Even a corn song or a Limp Bizkit song, you just put it on for a 13-year-old, and then they're like, yeah, this song is fucking sick. Yeah, when things were that popular, especially... And you don't care that it was really bad. You weren't there to understand how bad it was. That's the thing. A young person doesn't understand. They're just like, oh, yeah, this is funny. It's like, why 2K? You know what they're talking about? I think that's really it. The context is very different, and it doesn't really matter. Yeah, I guess just me as somebody who's always been like a hypercritical, you know, looking down my nose at all this stuff over the years. If I'm at the bar or the club and then the cool hot chick DJ or Zach Bia's little brother or whatever the coolest thing is going on right now is playing music like that. I don't know how to process it. I'm just like, I have to leave because I can't watch people that.

I'm being told are the coolest people doing it right now. I can't be told that they are cool. I feel the exact opposite. I think it's fascinating to watch because it's just like, every time I see something come back around, it not only makes me feel old, but also solidifies that I was right the first time. Right about it being a hit? And it doesn't matter if it's bad? Yes, both of those things. I was like, oh, this is still bad, but it's still a hit. The happy Gilmore 2 effect. I have not wavered in my feelings, but I understand why a new generation could appreciate something strictly based on the fact that it's not theirs. You know, it's like it's from... So maybe these people that I'm being told are the cool, you know, bleeding edge of hipness and whatever's going on in the world, I should... let their actions and their behaviors dictate the fact that they are actually not cool at all uh well obviously that yeah i mean i that is definitely true but also i think that there's there's just a but then there's also the element of like can't you just be silly and have fun for a dumb pop song and that's that's how i feel and we all have our line i don't i'm not going to jump up and down to bep But when we heard it the other night, I'm not going to say I wasn't bobbing my head a little bit. I mean, let's be honest. Again, it's a hit. It also, to make a food pun or a food comparison, as I often do, it's like when you go to Noma and here's our 27 courses of... This stuff that we've labored over in our fermentation station and the greatest minds in the world have innovated and refined these dishes and put in just hours and hours of work. And then when you bring out French fries and ketchup, they're like, oh, this is the best. Can I have only this? Blackout peas is French fries and ketchup. Corn is a different. I would say corn is more of a limited edition McRib. Corn is, to quote our friend Nick Wooster, who we saw yesterday, it's the...

casey masterpiece barbecue potato chip when i was like nick are you eating those you eating casey masterpiece ruffles family he's like oh no no i don't do that it's the kettle chip barbecue okay same flavor absolutely more of an artisanal offer when i was talking to him i was talking to him and josh peskowitz about oasis they're like how was it what was the vibe and i was like honestly it was unbelievable but it also Wait, did we even talk about Oasis on the podcast? No, I guess not. But I was like, I couldn't. We can start now. I was like, I couldn't believe how unifying it was and how it felt like a pride thing of the people. It was like London pride? We don't have any version of that in America. And then we kept trying to think about it. And Josh was like, yeah, maybe Bruce Springsteen, but in his prime. And I'm like, yeah, a little bit. And then Nick was like, Madonna. And I was like, Nick, I love Madonna, but it's kind of a different thing. What we're talking about is just a different thing. It was the best response possible. Just imagining Madonna coming out with the American flag draped over her shoulders. Yeah, I mean, I guess we didn't talk. I wrote about it yesterday to get it while it was hot. While it's still fresh on the metal. It really was kind of as good as it could be as far as like. I had gone through so many waves of emotions about it, like the excitement, then I don't care, then like, oh, it's going to be annoying. And then I left, you know, high. Yeah. I mean, I guess, you know, in terms of the comparisons to something like Black Eyed Peas or watching Korn at Lollapalooza or something, it is something that even if you don't love Oasis, when you are there and there's... however many tens of thousands of people jumping up and down all at once. I mean, I was comparing it to Coldplay at Wembley. Like, you know, going to a Coldplay show in 2025 is arguably an embarrassing act. And when you go there and everyone has their lights synchronized and they're playing the scientist and the whole crowd is singing and you're part of something bigger.

i i guess i understand it and it was good that at least the oasis songs are like good that i well that was the best part of the whole thing to me is that they clearly um spent zero money on production because it doesn't matter because their fans don't give a fuck and the songs are so good that they don't need it they don't need they don't well they did have fireworks at the end that's one thing fireworks the end aren't aren't that's not during the performance i'm saying they're not spending a fortune on like they're not hiring people we know and pay overpaying them to fucking oh the stage is going to move here and the lights are going to it's literally like we're up here we're wearing stone island we're playing the songs and they sound good and that's all you need we're going to play the songs every once in a while one of us will walk this way a little bit but we're not there's there's no there's no like There's just nothing to it, which is refreshing because everyone now needs so much to make it work. But there was the giant LED wall screen. Sure, sure, sure. And I think that's the type of thing where a lot of money went into that because that's the biggest, clearest, highest definition screen I've seen in person in my entire life probably. I've never thought about the definition of a screen, but it was good. Well, I mean, it's a screen the size of a football field. It's fucking huge, and it looks clear as fuck. And there's a camera many, many feet away from the stage, and it's locked into Liam's head, and I'm seeing a crystal clear, high-definition image. I could see the wrinkles on his face on this screen. That was impressive. The visual, the AI generated visuals were obviously atrocious. The visuals were so bad that it was cool. And I think that that's the, it felt like, I think you said, I don't think they saw these. Like, I don't think they ever, I don't think they ever. They couldn't be arse to approve the visuals. I don't think they ever even were like, you know what, let's look through this. I think somebody told them they had to do it. Somebody approved a cost somewhere and then we just went right into it and put them on the laser disc and got it fired up.

Yeah, I guess if they do this again, it would be cool if they asked us to creative direct. I disagree completely. I think that's lame for a band like that to try to act like there's something they're not. Well, I'm not saying that they should do that. I'm saying that I would love to take what they've created, which is like... a rainbow of like flowers and old photos of their parents and like an a building in manchester i mean it looks like the beginning of a television show in the 90s have you ever looked at oasis stuff it's ugly it's always been ugly like i mean like i said the photos are cool because it's like we put a Rolls Royce in a pool and it looks cool, but nothing they've ever done has been... But how cool would it be if there was an AI visual, the whole entire screen is a swimming pool in the Cotswolds and you just see a fucking Rolls Royce? Nope. Crash into it. Cigarettes and alcohol is playing. The whole screen is slowly filling up with lager. I'm already annoyed. Liam going like this. I'm already annoyed. It's so cool to not have to. You'd rather have a piece of paper where the edges have been burnt a little bit and it says. How many times were people strange? It's so much cooler that way than hiring a graphic designer to do everything. The merch is bad. Here's a photo of my nan in the IRA. It's just the fact that they don't need it and they know that is powerful because everybody else kind of needs it. What if the visual was just a giant union jack or just something? cooler that it's bad if it was neutral i'd be okay with it if they hired some cool guy i don't want to see that okay i understand and a lot of people hire cool guys and it looks awesome i'm not saying it's good often oasis doesn't need it i you i think i i'm you've you've pleaded your case and i i've side with you it's better that it's bad also when i i mean i i clocked how bad it was and i was like damn that's cool and then never thought about it again

because you're just kind of lost in it and like enjoying it and it doesn't really matter but at those shows it is interesting because you don't everybody's just watching the screen yeah yeah so it is like I guess even even if you're front row you're watching the screen it's too they're too small yeah because just the sheer size of the whole thing you can't see anything yeah um I when we were about to go in our friend we went with our friends uh David Cho and Shiv and and we were talking about Hey, man, it gets rowdy. People wear ponchos because there's just spilling drinks everywhere, throwing beers. I don't think it's a spill. I think it's a throw. More often than spill, it's a throw. Well, I saw a lot of throws, and I saw a lot of accidental spills where someone will be holding up their beer, and then a person will swing their arm and knock it out of their hand and spill it on your shoe, whatever. It was a sloppy, wet mess. It was the Gallagher concert, and it was all Brooklyn lager on the floor. but I was watching the band, and when a big song would come on where it's about to drop, I had to stop myself from throwing my beer because it was a Cro-Magnon impulse. It's an exciting opportunity that you don't often get, and your gut kicked in. As somebody who, you know how much I prioritize free things, especially alcohol. If you're in a concert and you had to walk so far, through the corridors, wait in a queue of 7,000 people to get your plastic beer cup, and you go all the way back and sneak back into the crowd and blah, blah, blah. Just to throw it feels like such a waste, and I wanted to do it so many times, and I almost did it so many times. I think you should have done it. If there's one regret from that night, I think it's that you should have done it. I really do. But if somebody hit me with a beer, I'd be so pissed. Yeah, but that's the game you play in that specific situation. We're all in this together. If I would have gotten hit with a beer, I obviously would have been the most upset because I don't like beer. I don't like wet stuff. I don't do beer? I don't do wet. It's like the worst kind of rain. Stella Artois, the worst kind of rain. But I did learn, my friend Adam asked me yesterday if I did a word I'd never heard of. And I was like...

I don't know what you're talking about. And he's like, it's a football thing. And I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, when you turn around and turn back around, I'm like, I did it, but I didn't know what the fuck was going on. It's like a Ponazon. Literally, it's like P-O-N-A-Z-O-N, I think. I think. I could be wrong. Don't worry. I'm sure a million people are going to tell us how wrong we are. It's a footballer's thing where you turn your back to the pitch, you lock arms with your mates, and you jump up and down. I think it was the cigarettes and alcohol. It was, and I did do that, and I was so sad because I was filming it, but I was jumping so much that the footage was unusable. I didn't have my Steadicam feature setting. That's because you're supposed to be in the moment, and you shouldn't have your phone out at all. It's true. I did get a great cigarettes and alcohol scarf, bootleg, one of one. Yeah, there's one. It kept me warm last night. It was not one of one. It was one of seven million, but still. It's made of plastic, but still, hey, it's great. The microplastics, not the fibers. I went to a restaurant called The Yellow Bittern with our friend Shad from Shad Magazine. He's been on the show before, right? Yeah. He's been on the show, yeah. Great music writer as his star continues to rise. We'll have him back at some point. He's a good IRL idea. An IRL idea. Like I'm saying in the room with us. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to this restaurant. It's a very controversial one because the owner is kind of a surly Irish guy. It has a socialism vibe. It's cash only. It's only open for two, three hours a day. It's not on the weekends. It's hard to get a table. They don't like it if you come in and just don't drink. It sounds like they don't like it if you come in at all. But if you're going to be there, I guess we'll take your money. Yeah. But those types of restaurants, I love. And I did love this restaurant. When we were talking about at the beginning of the show, what do you do when your pub becomes the busiest TikTok thing, whatever, you have to instill all these laws and rules and regulations and hurdles to hopefully deter 99% of the customer base. That's the wrong use of energy. The use of energy is to open something new. Because I don't think there's anything you can do.

So you do like the SBE model where you open a new ultra lounge supper club restaurant. Literally. It burns high and bright for a year and a half. You close it down. You get new banquets. You change the name from Katana to Tao and then we're back again. No, no. I'm saying an additional place. I'm not losing the revenue on this shit. Okay. But this is out of my control. This thing is spun beyond what I can control. I'm going to just go open another one and keep doing it until. the money stops like St. John perhaps. Yeah. I mean, I would make it more edible, but in theory, yeah. Yeah. But I, I think that like be like St. John, if the food was good, the yellow bitrin though, the vibe is that we don't need money. And that's why we're able to do this in this specific way, which is cool because they will never suffer from what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. They would rather close it down because they don't need it. Yeah. They don't need money, but they, don't want you to come in unless you spend a certain amount of dollars. That's just self-respect. I'm just saying if that restaurant closed tomorrow, nothing is going to change probably in their lives. As far as the bills are getting paid is what I'm trying to say. They're still able to pay their Vodafone bill. That's really the only people in today's world that can do things with that level of integrity if you want to call it that. Most people have to make money. You're able to express your art in a way where uh, financial gain is not necessary, which is awesome. And I'm glad it's good. And I'm glad people can do that. I'm not, no shade. I just think that's the reality. And it's, it's only this guy and his wife. And those are the only seem seemingly the only employees. And that's how they keep it that way. And they, so they're, they're always have their hands on every single thing. I don't know. I just, it's, it's one of those things that's really special and I really like it. And I don't, I don't know how long it'll last. I know that he. I think he's going to switch to a prefixed tasting menu kind of thing in September. To make it easier, basically. I think to make it... For him. Once you've been doing it for a certain amount of time and you see how much money you make every week or every month compared to how much work you're putting into it, and if the demand is still super high, you can start raising, not necessarily raising the price, but just...

raising the difficulty level so only the people that show up there are going to respect the process and spend the money. We want you to sit down, have a long lunch, and order bottles of wine. Honestly, to me, making something prefixed attracts the wrong kind of customer. It attracts a dork that is a different person. Even if the food is exactly the same, once you frame something like that, I think it changes who's interested in it. I think that's true. That's true. I agree. it changes it for me like i'm immediately like i'm good like and i'll and maybe i'll go and it'll be great and i'll change my story but if i see that and that is my only option especially i'm just kind of like all right bro the same for me i guess business is hard man very hard there's no right way to do it unless you podcast no that's pretty easy to do that this is the best way to do it yeah i was i was upset while while we're in london I was really speaking awesomely and typing awesomely. I was replying to emails the way a British person would. I was using cooler words and better manners. And I just sounded more intelligent and interesting. And now that I'm here in Copenhagen. Why doesn't your chat GPT do that for you here too? I don't understand it only works in London. I don't use chat GPT to do any of that stuff. We'll see. I'm going to catch your ass one day. no come on bro when i get an email i get like an email from you that's clearly chat gpt i've gotten a few from my friends that are it's obviously a joke and it's really funny actually what are what are the tells i know the biggest tell people often say is the the m dash it's not the m dash at all it's the entire way that it is written it's the it's the yeah i mean we get a lot of pr emails where you can tell that it's I mean, I guess the problem is when people use chat GPT or AI technology to write the email, it has to be, here's the first pass, the machine did this, and then you go in with a hand at the end to polish up the edges and make it human. If you need chat GPT to write you an email, no one is that busy. You're lying. Like, you're not that busy, and you're stupid.

Like, that is literally stupid. If you can't write an email, I don't care if it's a form email. I don't care if you send it out to 100 people. Write it yourself and copy and paste it. You don't need to. I just don't understand. Yeah, I think it's a tool that needs to be used very sparingly, just like all technology, like retouching photos or face tuning. It goes wrong quick. Or any of this shit. Like, you have to use exercise subtlety. use it for you know get the thing over the line and then hand shape it with your with your brain and your fingers writing an email is not hard enough to do that require like i don't i don't think anyone is busy enough to optimize their time to save 20 minutes writing an email it's just not really also it's not like we're writing these i think it's laziness they're like i can do it but i don't want to i don't want to i also think that we're just I mean, I don't know, man. When's the last time you got a really long email? You know what I mean? I rarely get a really long email unless it's from a publicist or it's trying to sell you something. Actual emails that are used to communicate with coworkers and friends, we're not writing soliloquies. They're not fucking novellas anymore. It's a couple sentences. What about, we talked about this before, but the speech to text. I just don't. I don't do any of it, not because I think, I just don't care. I just don't, I'm not going to, I don't know how to do it. I've never sent like a voice note before. I don't do voice notes, but I do the voice to text. But voice to text is the Siri thing, you mean? Well, you can use it in any app, but there's just like a little microphone button and you say, hey, I'm Jason, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. And then you hit the button again to stop it and it'll populate the text of what you just said. Yeah, I mean, I get those from people and I can tell. i mean i think it says it i think on iphone it says like siri i think which is funny they were like no no no we're gonna let you be that slick with it i i don't i see i see a future in the not too distant where that is how we all send all of our text-based communications yeah i mean i'm i'm sure

It will, I'm sure. Are you going to succumb to it, or are you going to hold strong and be a keyboard clacker? I'm not really against it. I just do things, and then maybe one day I change the way I do things. I don't go between. I don't like, oh, I'm going to use this now. I'm going to use it now. I'm like, I type. I don't use chat GBT. I don't use text to speak to text. If that changes, it changes. I don't, I can't. You're not going to be the last person holding out. If enough people make the switch over, you're going to do it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be a first responder. You're okay. Like I'm not going to be, I'm not going to, it's like, it's just, I don't care. You're not going to be first to market, but you're also not going to be last, but you'll be closer to the last. Like what happens if the Apple iPhone stops being the phone? I would love that. Really? Yeah, bro. To have a BlackBerry again, I truly would prefer it. Obviously, a new BlackBerry would be different. It would have to have more technology in it. But that sort of form factor feels more comfortable still to me than this does. I still can't type that well on this. I'm so bad at typing. I think that's part of the reason that the speech thing is popular is because it sucks to type on this. If we had tactile keys, I don't think people would feel the same way. Also because I type and I write how I talk. Some people have those two different brains. They have to get it out with their fingers versus their mouth. I don't know. It seems like an interesting, exciting, near future thing of like, is it going to be easier to write that book? I guess I don't understand why we have to cut corners with every single thing. That's what I don't understand. Maybe some people wouldn't consider it a corner cutting. It would be an improvement and makes things easier. I get that. I would say it's not a full U-turn, but it's just a little detour. It's just another way to do things. I could take a hoverboard somewhere, but I would rather walk.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's the same kind of thing to me where it's like, yeah, I could do that. Absolutely. And I don't really, I mean, hoverboard, I do shame people to do it, but you know what I mean? What if you're bad at walking and really good at hoverboarding? Like the Rizzler. The Rizzler's actually never walked in his life. Walking hard for some people. Yeah, but I mean, I think it is the future. No question. No question. Yeah, I think I want to try doing that the next time I ever write something, if it ever happens, other than an email or something. I'd like to just pace in a room and just say it all out loud and then just go back. I mean, I would like to do that too, but I would rather, I honestly would like to pay someone to actually dictate, like old school. I think that would feel more rewarding. Yeah, have somebody in the room with you. A typist. You're telling the story. Just flying through it. Because I think there are people that are, I don't think it's that. That's how every celebrity memoir is written. For sure. I think there's probably a lot of like, there is probably a lot of voice memo, you know what I mean? Like that kind of shit. I mean, that's how songs get written. Every song starts as a voice memo at this point. Here's something I've been working on for a little while. I personally handwrite all my music, but I get that it's easier on your phone or whatever. I didn't know you could write music. That's a nice one. Can't read it. Only read it. Let's see. I guess that's pretty much it. We're not going to talk about seeing bleachers at Lollapalooza. RIP to the guy who died at the Oasis show. And the guy from Manchester at our live show who yelled at me, sent me a DM. I want to see how scary you look in real life because I was intimidated by you and your voice. I was also intimidated. It wasn't even a threat to me. Thanks, Blondie, for joining us. It was a good sport. yeah sorry to blondies kids for talking about cocaine in front of you it was only one kid okay it's the oldest one she'll handle it she's fine then she's fine um yeah thank you for listening howlonggone.com we're back with more podcasts this week um but next week we are not going to be back with new podcasts we're going to take the week off for holiday uh and i think we're going to do some

episodes from the vault some fan favorite episodes we're gonna re-release them while daddy needs a daddy needs a week off to recharge i know daddy does i'm not daddy to be clear for our listeners at home chris does not want to do it but i do but i i said it wasn't carolyn's idea for the record it was me Oh, I believe that. Yeah, I believe that. Carolyn and I are about our business. I'm burnt like a Palo Santo. Oh, I feel like shit, but this is just what, I mean, but I feel like shit every day. So that's just kind of what you got to get into. Just the times when we're potting and doing live shows at the same time, you know, when it's week three of doing a podcast, then you shit shower and shave and go to a venue and do a podcast and you wake up the next day and... fly to another place and do a podcast. It's not great. No, I mean, it's fine. We're going to have a funny one on Friday, though. We got a little Copenhagen treat. It'll be... A real Fashion Week download in the style of Lauren Sherman's pod. We're going to see all the trends of our Scandi fashions, our minimalist designs. I don't think that's what it's going to be, but I think that it's funny to say that that's what it's going to be. It's going to be giving menswear. It's going to sound like a cigarette. Even more than it normally does. Howlonggone.com. Thank you for listening. Bye-bye.