431. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Pants are crazy. Today is Sunday. You're going to listen to this Monday. It's your Monday morning download. What's going on in the world of tech? It's your Monday morning download. How Long Gone coming to you live from beautiful Glendale. It's a nice winter's day here in Los Angeles. 68 degrees and sunny. Nice crisp in the air. It is 3 p.m., 3.30 p.m., a rare afternoon podcast. So I'm going to classify this as How Long Gone After Dark. Yeah, it is. By the time we're done recording. Thanks to Daylight Savings. We have a friend of the show, Sue Chan's birthday tonight in Cursed Silver Lake, so we planned this accordingly so that designated driver Chris could come over, record, and then take drunk and high Carolyn and Jason to the party. Yeah, so as soon as we're done with this podcast, I mean, I'll be so drunk and high that I'll barely be able. I'll be cross-eyed editing and uploading it. Of course. Of course, we'll have a pre-drink. Yeah, you'd have to have a pre-drink. It's spoken like a true Canadian. I have a selection of Nogs that we'll be sipping through. Well, thank God I have my new pack of lo-fi aperitifs at my house with some nice glasses to share with my friends and family this holiday season. I didn't see any... I think you forgot to tag me on the bucket hat photo. Oh, I didn't know. I only tagged brands. I didn't know I was going to have to tag the...

Okay. It'd be nice. I'm sorry. You just want to kind of, for your record. You know, speaking of daylight savings, we were at the Cartier store a couple days ago. We bop in there. Okay, bitch. Figure out a way. Okay, bitch. We built the trip around the Erewhon Beverly Hills. Of course. Of course. I mean, we were there, not just a window shop. We were picking up a purchase. It's so cute you guys got matching glove bracelets. That's so cool. It's just very L.A. It looks like a nail that they bent around the wrist. It's very L.A. of you, but also, like, hot, you know? Because when you're wearing your mesh hat, nothing looks better with Yeezys in a mesh hat than a love bracelet on each arm. Or maybe a nice stack. I'll do a stack. I'll do a stack. I'll do a stack. Rows on the left. Just put them on the right. And I rotate with the Daylight Savings. But speaking of Daylight Savings, we're in there. It was taking forever. And there's this little kind of Beverly Hills grandma. You know what I mean? We're like. They don't look very glamorous. They're very casual looking, but they have the aura of, like, I possess. There's a driver outside. $370 million. She put her ATM card in the ATM at Art Basel. Diplo's getting knocked down to second or third place. But she goes in, and she goes to the help desk, and there's a very nice man working there. And she's like, yeah, I need to figure out how to reset the time. like the time is off and i think why maybe it's broken maybe it just needs a battery replacement maybe it needs a full overhaul i don't know what it is and the guy picks it up and he's looking at it and he looks at the watch on his phone like the clock on his phone no no he's like ma'am i have a suggestion um so i can give the watch to our our repair team you know it'll take a while we have to shoot you know Christmas, COVID, you know, whatever, six to eight weeks and we'll see what's going on with it probably. But I can make a suggestion right now. It's 120 and yours says 121. So I don't know if it's something that you can live with or whatever. No, dude, no. And she's like, oh, yeah. I mean, I don't even know how to reset it. Honestly, I only wear the watch during daylight savings because it's set to daylight savings. But then when it.

knocks back an hour she just puts the watch in a drawer and pulls it out you know the next daylight honestly isn't that the coolest thing ever very cool hopefully she has another watch set to the oh i mean hopefully she has a dozen she has a dozen she's kind of rolls through them depending on time it reminded me of you because the guy was like I would happily show you the cardio watches. Obviously, you can easily reset the time. It's something that we all have to do. She's like, I'm good. I'm good. I'll just put it in the drawer. There's nothing I love more than somebody offering something to me and me being like, I'm good. Thanks, though. Oh, you have a number of this? No, I'm good. Thanks. It's one thing if it's like, actually, I'll show you how to change your transmission fluid. You'll be like, it's $19. I'll just pay a guy. But when it's like you pull this thing and then you turn it one dial and you push it, And then you're done. And Chris and this grandma are like, I'd rather not. I really would rather not. You could do it. I'll tip you $100 for doing it. Part of the reason I don't wear a watch is all that annoying stuff. The time is off. It looks bulky, obviously. If I see one more tank on my Explore page. Bro. Well, that's better than my Explore page because unfortunately. Tank is a very fungible watch. My chiropractor videos have led me into a darker hole. Now there's a lot of pet chiropractic videos coming up. It's my fault. I've never clicked on one. I talked about it a few times around you. I may have sent you a link or two. You sent me a couple links. Think about it. How disgusting is it for someone to wrap their arms around a dirty animal? And then adjust its spine and then hug it and get slobber all over it. They're Carhartt. I've seen some stinky bitches, human motherfuckers that look worse than some of these high dollar Weimar owners. No, that's true. But I feel like when it's a human, you're changing lives and you're kind of helping someone renew and see life again because they're able to walk straight. So an animal is not a life. I mean, an animal is a life technically, but I can't put it on the same level as humans. Have you seen that PETA ad?

Where it's like a picture of like 10 different animals lined up. Like a police lineup. Oh, okay. They're all lined up. But it's not like an actual police lineup. And it says like animal murder. Where do you draw the line? And it's like all the foods we eat, it's like cows and chickens. All the foods you eat. All the foods I eat. And then it slowly works, you know, horse and blah, blah, blah. Like the middle ground stuff. Showing some love to our Japanese listeners. And then it ends with like puppies and kittens. Where do you draw the line? And then somebody made a meme where they just literally drew the line like around the horse and then back all the way around the kitten. He's like, I eat all these motherfuckers except the kid, the kitties and the puppies, obviously. Well, I mean, you know, I don't know. It was a great workaround. I don't know where the line is. I really don't. But I think that there's something to be said about getting your – actually, you know what? What if for Christmas I kind of got – You're going to fly on some A5 horse? No, no, no. I got Margo an adjustment. Oh, shit. What if I gave you guys the gift of chiropractic adjustment for your dog? This would be so great. But the problem is, I mean, like you watch the chiropractor videos and they have a person, like a human being on the table. And they do a situation that looks, you know, it looks like Jackie Chan, like instant death kind of shit, except it's the exact opposite. Instant relief. Instant relief. And it makes you wonder, you really are like one foul twist away from just killing somebody instantly. I would only send your beloved dog to a... popular instagram chiropractor because i i'm assuming the tiger woods don't make a hole in one every shot i'm saying sticks are made even at the professional level errors of course but i think that there could be a not only is this a great constant opportunity for us but i think margo would be walking a little taller oh i mean if if it's a successful uh adjustment asserting her dominance over a small but when you watch when you watch the video of the dog getting adjusted and the dog's just like what's going on here this guy's like

and then it like tweaks the motherfucker and then the dog looks at the guy kind of cross-eyed yeah like the fuck type of look yes yes but they seem very nice look on the dog no the dog does seem relieved and if i had um any sort of feelings i would probably care about that yeah but to me it's a little bit like my explore page is supposed to be working out and swedish influencers and chiropractic adjustments for humans so i'm a little bit like get this get this stuff out i think the reason why it's so popular and then we'll move on from this but like whenever you have you're like when you tell a comedian a joke they go that's really funny yeah and when you you know go up to like an athlete and you give them a crazy adjustment you go and they're like it feels really good thank you but you you adjust to a dog yeah and that you know there's no pains of the human existence no existential crises it's just pure joy and release that you see on this animal's face you can't get that from a human especially in 2022 that's i actually agree with you i put that on god i agree with you but i don't care so that's kind of where i'm at with that uh that's where i'm at with that but it's been a totally dope for you totally dope for you it's been a pretty intense day i gotta say for a sunday I went to the gym. I'm proud of myself. I also went to the gym, and I'm proud of myself, but that's also what I do every day. I know I can. I was driving to the gym at 7.30 in the morning, and I did see a pack of rabid humans cheering on their little soccer match. It was the finals. It was the finals of the World Cup, so everyone, it's over, and I want that. We're going to say it now. You guys can all go back to your normal lives. No one can think about soccer again. It's okay. You're done faking it. Everyone believed your passion is real. I know you cried when Messi won because he's worth $400 million and he's 5'8". And you just really see yourself in him. You know what I mean? So I'm really glad you guys could have that shared experience together. And mercifully, it is over for those of us who don't pretend to like things that aren't good.

The wrath is over. This is like when SEAL Team 6 finally got Osama. This is my, exactly. We got him, boys. We got him. She's all done. Yeah, we got him. And are you glad that it ended in a tie, probably, you know? It didn't end in a tie. Argentina won. Oh, a shootout. They won, but they tied the game. I don't know. Honestly, it's insane. People, it's literally, I'm on Twitter, of course, and it's people I've never heard talk about sports in my entire life being like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen, the human achievement. I'm crying. I'm crying. And it's like, are you that pathetic that a game would make you cry? Crying over sports is one of the most fucked up, twisted things we have. Where does it rank? Crying over sports. And arguably the World Cup final match is the largest. Yeah, global. Yeah, sure. The largest. Earthbound sporting, you know, global event, maybe period. I want to say this on record. I do think the athletic ability required to be a soccer player on that level is incredible. So much gas in the tank. It really is. I'm super impressed by athleticism. They're not fat like baseball players or golfers or some other shit that we like. So it is very impressive. It's not the sport's fault. It's the fan's fault. Okay. Is it? Maybe it feels similar to where I get really angry when people celebrate things that are lowest common denominator. They build their life and their identity around being really into tacos or pizza or coffee. Well, you're coming for yourself, and I like it. But yeah, go ahead. I know, but I don't have hashtag taco for life in my Twitter bio or something. No, you don't. And that's something we can't amend. I'll talk to Elon. We'll get to that. Yeah, we will get into that. But soccer, it is a little – it's a double-edged sword. It is lowest common denominator. Anyone and everyone can get into it, so it doesn't make you very special. But also at the same time, it's enjoyable, and it's fun to be a part of a global head space. I don't understand if you aren't following this or care about this year-round.

How can you get swept up in something that you have no knowledge? I don't understand. Because just the sheer act and beauty of sportsmanship on a grand scale in general. I guess. I mean, look, I was listening to... But I heard, before you said it, and I'll forget, I was listening to a podcast and somebody said, I desperately want to like sports, but I just don't. Yeah, I can't say that. I don't think that you're on that level, but I think that's a good... self-admission. I get it. To be like, this is just a part of me that's broken. It looks like all you guys are having a fun time, but it's also a little too low. If the only thing that we have in common is that we both like the same football team that plays in the city that we live in, it's not enough to really get me by the ball. Well, the real benefit of this is that... Whereas if somebody's like... I smoke weed too. You smoke weed too? Okay, we're best friends for life. We're puffing then. Well, the real best part about not liking sports is that our significant others will never be forced to wear a football jersey on Sundays, the most unattractive thing that anyone can do. But I was listening to Brilliant Idiots and Andrew Schultz. What's the opposite of a friend of the show? Andrew Schultz was talking about how he took his crew to Morocco. and paid for it all because he just wanted to be a part of it because they were the underdogs in the world cup and they were playing well so he got on a plane and he said that the shared experience of being in morocco and watching with those people was so moving to him okay and he had a similar memory of being like i was in aruba on my honeymoon and there was a basketball game and i was with a guy from cleveland we were hugging and celebrating and i just and i was like what is wrong with you this sounds like Their Bedouin journey to Morocco to watch a flat screen in a bar. Yes. That's like the sports version of Burning Man. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down.

the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How Long Gone. It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app.

using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do all our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. It is. No, and he's a burner. So that makes sense. There we go. But I just don't like, I love music, right? I've never cried at a concert. And I also can't relate. I have traveled to see bands I like, but I did not make friends based solely on the fact that we both like this thing. I'm not talking to the fucking mouth breathers around me at Morrissey in Vegas. Maybe you need to get a little more specific even further. Because when we would go to a house show with 14 people in there who all live in your same five mile radius. And it's like, we should probably all be best friends. But that was at a different age. That was at an age where shared experiences meant more. I'll ask you this. Have you ever cried watching the American Music Awards? Or maybe BET Weekend?

BT Weekend, I've gotten choked up. When Young Jock played, I do remember getting a little choked up. With the 12-piece orchestra? Yeah. And the doves came out? One of them didn't make it. But I've probably choked up watching an awards show acceptance speech. Even for a movie that I didn't watch or an actor that I didn't even care about. I might have. It's something about the collective spiritual emotions of all of our planet coming together. Which makes no sense. But I find artistic achievement. And neither does Big Man Upstairs Allah. But yet again, I bow to him every morning. I would say that I value artistic experience and expression over physical, even though I only care about physical in my personal life. Even though you're a gym rat. And I have no way to express myself artistically besides this fucking podcast, which is pathetic compared to playing a guitar. Wrong. So I don't know why. Podcasters make more money than musicians nowadays, bro. Unfortunately, that is true. But you know what I'm saying. I know what you're saying. I don't know why I would think this, but this World Cup thing has been really – it just bothers me. It's been a thorn in your side. It's just also like what's more – It's been a rock in your cleat. There's just nothing more loser shit than going to a bar at 7 a.m. to drink pints. I think it depends on how rich you are. If you're British, it's fine. Again, if this is your culture, by all means. Do you know whose culture it's not? Any American. What about you go to the Gelson's Wine Bar in Malibu? Okay. It's just you, Ruben, Wes, and Pamela Anderson, and you guys are like Uruguay and North Korea. It's all tied up at the house. Let's get another round of Peronis. They've got an olive bar here at this one, I think. We're going to need another round of olives. Go grab some. Wes, go grab some, bro. Speaking of working out, I had been in the gym. Because of my Pilates journey, I've been absent in Equinox. We can see that. Plus, we're out of town. The holiday season, I already prepared to gain 10 pounds. It's such a crazy thing that you do every year. I don't know how you do that.

I get a year of drinking and eating out in that. The week between Christmas and New Year's Eve is when it all just kind of is off the rails. I don't feel like you're really kind of stopping yourself from eating and drinking. The rest of the year, I'm not on the rails either. But there's some semblance of rail happening. Okay. Okay, good to know. They put a sign up where the railroad tracks are going to be coming through. Okay, I understand. We started pulling permits, but it will be a number of decades before they're done. Okay, so you're saying that you're getting into your off-the-rails season. Which is why I had to go to the gym today and get a life. And were they like dusting off your locker for you and like, Jason, we haven't seen you in so long. No, no, no. No, because they keep charging my card $200 a month. They know exactly what's going on. In fact, we kind of bet on you not coming. Let me tell you how gyms work. But I'm in the sauna. Hold on. I want to be clear. You did work out. I did work out, yeah. Okay, you didn't just go to sauna. I did some cardio as well as some pumping. What kind of cardio, though? Because if it was on the Stairmaster or the Elliptical, you are a chick. It was a tread. Okay. A backwards walk. No, no, it was high. You put the incline at 15, max it out. Sure, sure, sure. It's an incline PR. No, incline walking is classic bodybuilder shit, so I'm kind of looking for the traps and the other stuff that comes with that. I'm not seeing those. Chris, traps are made in the kitchen. You know that. Oh, okay. The classic adage, traps are made in the kitchen. How can I forget? Traps are made in the kitchen, cooking on the stove, hashtag Banda. Oh, yeah. Speaking of, I do have my Pyrex Tears shorts in the other room. I haven't worn them yet. But thanks to the good friends over at Goat. We should walk people through this. So we did a little outerwear roundup for Goat, and I did negotiate a credit for both of us. And Jason chose to use his credit on Pyrex basketball shorts. Pyrex Tears. It's a collaboration between Pyrex and Denim Tears. Oh, so it's a Pyrex Denim Tears collaborative short. Yeah, that was hitting for a light 180. Have you tried them on? Believe it or not, the occasion to slip them on has not come up. I, of course, will have to wear them with a legging underneath, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With your foam posits. That would be nice. Foam posits, leggings. But Jason also was able to purchase a...

Plastic Supreme Rain Poncho? Yeah. From Goat.com? It's a white plastic poncho, and then it has the Supreme Box logo. It's a chest hit, standard issue. Standard bogo. The best part about it was this is in the peak Christmas shopping mode, so the Goat warehouse must be very overwhelmed. UPS, USPS, FedEx, every shipping service. They're barely holding on. And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to buy this $20 piece of plastic that's rolled up in a shoe box in some guy's closet in Des Moines. And then that person has to put that in a box and ship it. to the GOAT authentication center. Yeah, of course, for authentication. I mean, that's how the resale game works. And I get all these emails every day. Like where it is. Now the guys are looking at it. Success. Your poncho has been approved. Which of these items, both great high-ticket streetwear kind of items? And also these pants that I just gave you. These are also from GOAT? Yeah, those are from GOAT. I made two ridiculous purchases and one legitimate one. These are... Apollo... A nice color, a nice dark green corduroy. Dark emerald, thick corduroy polo pant, and then all over it, the little embroidered foxes. Yeah, there's a little... What a cute little look. Pair it with your gay little loafers. You're going to be the host of the town. Unfortunately, it's giving kitsune. It's not doing a lot for me, but... I would have preferred... A mallard is what you want. I didn't zoom in. I thought it was going to be the polo teddy bear. Oh, well. Instead, they hit me with this fruity little fantastic fox. It does like this fantastic Mr. TJ that this is giving. But so which of these items? I'll ride them in front of the Paul Smith wall. These pants don't fit. So we have the Pyrex Tears shorts. I'm too skinny for them. And the Supreme. You're too tall. And the Supreme plastic poncho. You live in L.A. I'm guessing the Pyrex Tears are going to get busted out a little more.

That'll be my hero item in the collection. But where do you think that these would... Where is the most appropriate place besides John and Vinny's to wear these? I mean, only in LOL situations. There's no way I can earnestly wear Pyrex shorts. But would you wear them to the Glendale Equinox? Or is that... No. No, no. They would... I mean, there are... If that happened, I would be... I would infiltrate an Armenian gang by the end of the afternoon. Yeah, you're right. It would take your life in a direction you're not ready for it to go. Two guys would put their arms around my shoulders and like, brother, brother, you are one of ours now. And then I'll wake up and the next day I run a window tinting operation. What about maybe if you were, I feel like the only place to wear these is if you're hitting a sneaker reselling boutique on Melrose. Like, I don't know where else. No, but that's too on the nose. I agree, but I think it's a way to infiltrate and feel. Here, I have the answer. Okay. The next time slash first time I ever get courtside seats to a basketball game. Okay. So you're going Morby style, feet on wood in Memphis. The Jordan 4s are on the hardwood. No, no, no. What's the shoe story with the Pyrex short? You know what the shoe story is. The Yeezy? No, no. It has to be a showstopper. Exactly. The Big Ricks? The Uggs. You're going Pyrex Tears shorts with the Uggs. Maybe just a simple white tee. No, no, no. Up top, Canary Yellow Drew House hoodie. Oh, you want to mix the Drew House with the Pyrex Tears? Bro, you're crazy, bro. I'm a regular Saucy Santana. Bro, you're going Santana mode, and I don't mean Jewel. I'll have to borrow some jewelry. Yeah, okay. So if we get invited to a courtside, definitely not Lakers, Clippers at best game, I think you should kind of keep it. I might go out of state. We would have to go out of state. We might have to hit New Orleans Pelicans, you know what I mean? I'll get courtside at the Jazz Pelicans, $78. I think you're going to need to, because this is so perfect, those shorts have to stay on ice until we get invited to courtside. There's nowhere else to wear them.

Yeah, and it's not an issue of keeping them in good condition. They're much like a white tee to jewels. It's a one-and-done situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could, yeah, you would have to. If I only get one shot, I cannot miss this chance. The idea would be like the way that sometimes players trade jerseys after they play. You would trade shorts with an NBA player. Kevin Durant, get over here, big fella. You know what's happening right now. Kevin Durant, give me your game-worn shorts. Kevin's going to have to whisper in my ear. You know how I play, TJ. TJ, come on. You know how I do it, bro. Balls and chains are all hanging out. There was that time years ago where LeBron was tying his shorts and they say that you could see his hog. The way he was pulling it in just the right way? Yeah, the way he was pulling it in just the right way. You could see little Bronny? Yeah, you could see Bronny too. I feel like LeBron can't be working with a monster. I think LeBron – God is – God won't do that. He gave him so much. He gave him so much. His deadlifting ability. I mean, bro, I'm telling you, the video of LeBron – He's 6'8 with squats like that. The video of LeBron – You know he got a three-incher. The video of LeBron – It's on tuna can. It's on fishwife. The video of – Dick looked like a fishwife. It does have a chili crisp oil. The video of LeBron kneeling on a fucking yoga ball. doing 50 pound dumbbell curls is it changed my life i was like i can't believe not not the not the bosu half or no bro this motherfucker is balancing balancing on shirtless with the dumbbells doing 50 on each arm yeah okay that's no problem that'll put my dick back up inside my body as well the core strength that's required for that kind of bicep work unbelievable Look, as a Pilates user, I now understand that. Yeah, I did a Pilates this weekend. I did a tennis in the morning and then Pilates right after. How's those knees feeling? Honestly, I feel okay. The Pilates was hard. How would you feel if you weren't on creatine? Worse. Yeah, probably. Yeah, definitely. Speaking of, when I was in the gym, when I was in the sauna, it's been a while since I've saunaed in public.

because a big bertha right here sitting next to you i know i can yeah it's in there i can watch my flashman's on hulu yeah do whatever it is i need to do in there but i was in public and i was missing the steam shower yeah so i go in and there's already three dudes in there one of them's listening to music on his live iphone speaker of course and it's like some type of you know it's like jay bolvin remix that's fucking crazy to do that in a sauna And not headphones, just like, all right, everybody, I'm going to be playing this music. And he was doing like, I felt like I was on like a prank show or something because he's playing music in the sauna, you know, Sunday afternoon, Sunday early afternoon. And he's breathing. He's breathing as if he's doing like a 900-pound deadlift. Oh, he's doing through the nose. He's just like, ugh. Oh, God. And I was like, is Johnny Knoxville here? Is this guy buff or fat? I couldn't tell because it was too steamy, and I didn't want to look at him because I was like, this guy is either about to throw me through a plate glass window or I'm being pranked kind of situation. Luckily, he left, but I was like, I can't do that anymore. But then as soon as that guy left, everyone else started snapping on him, and I was like, oh, thank God. That's nice. You're building community. But then they were talking about how working out your calves and working out your forearms is gay and stupid. uh where do you land on that fitness chris yeah i mean people you see people are those only vanity muscles doesn't it isn't it good to have forearm grip strength yeah but you're getting that if you're working out properly you're getting that i guess that was the argument that they were making like you know if you see people doing that like guys with like five pound weights like doing their it's no dude if you're if you're i mean bro if i do a heavy deadlift barbell deadlift session my fucking forearms are on fire oh they're on fire because the key and you may have heard this before in your in your journey but as hunter always tells me when i'm deadlifting when i'm bench pressing break the fucking bar we're we're fucking hanging on trying to break the bar right to get that resistance you know what i mean break the bar break the bar okay that's that is helpful but

And they were saying, if you're on hour three of your workout and you've worked out every muscle, then yeah, you can do your little five-pound wrist guys and your weird shit. And then it gets quiet, and the guy's like, are you still taking that pre-workout shit? And he's like, oh, you mean gorilla mode? And he's like, yeah, gorilla mode. And he's like, yeah, I'm still taking gorilla mode. I would like to get into gorilla mode. Basically, I got a peek into the mind of pre-workout. Yeah. And the guy was sort of. You get that three times a week, but sure, go ahead. I know, but they have a method that you've probably used with regular drugs where in fitness they try to say, like, keep your body guessing. Yeah. Like, don't stick with such a regimented routine. Yeah. Mix it up. Oh, today's leg day. I don't think so, Jack. Today's, you know, whatever. So it's like that, but with pre-workout. So he's like, every single time I kill. one of those five-gallon buckets full of gorilla mode, I get a new brand and try it out. I never repeat. So your body doesn't get used to it and get addicted, so you have to keep taking more. And then his friend goes, aren't they all the same, though? And he's like, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, definitely. But I think what you're dealing with is someone who's not sponsored. So I'm kind of, as a ladder athlete. That's a good point. I can't deviate. It's not enough to just switch flavors. Sometimes I will switch up from tropical punch to fruit punch. They both don't taste great, but they do the job. That's what I call variation. Let's see. Thanks to Ignacio Matos for potting with us. I realized his voice is very horny. He's a sexy-sounding guy. No, he is a sexy-sounding guy. I like to get a little some of that. I can't wait to smear some of that on my cracker. At his new tasting menu restaurant. I just have to kind of block off three hours and we'll make it happen. You know? Come on, bro. I'm just kidding. I'd love to go. I mean, it's not going to be a 30 course or it's going to be, what, a seven? No, he said it was light. He said it wasn't crazy. But you will need to go eat the slice that scars out there if I do my job right. You do do a good Ignacio, though. And I'm just like, ooh, just rub some jamon on my left nipple. Let's get it popping. But we were, I was talking about this a couple days ago.

Maybe with you about being hungover when we were in Seattle on stage. Yeah, Jason. Oh, yeah, we haven't talked about this. So Jason DJed his little throwback event at the Kill Room downtown. Which we did talk about on Thursday. Yeah, but we didn't talk about the results and how you felt the next. I feel like someone roofied me or something because I didn't have that many drinks. I think you were roofied by nostalgia. Yeah? I think that being in that proximity to mark the country's name. That's like the name of, like, a different competing photographer's website. But you were sicko mode at the airport, but I do feel like I've seen you hungover, obviously, quite a lot, and you do seem to kind of revel in it a little bit. You don't really complain. You just kind of eat a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a thing that I was thinking about because I've always, like ever since I was in my 20s and I would go out and DJ with Dan like how I did on that night. And we would enjoy being hungover as much as the party the night before. I don't think this is that crazy. I think there is a nice feeling. Like even when I'm hungover now where I don't sleep enough, that feeling is not terrible. like i kind of understand where you're coming from it's sort of it's it's it relaxes you it turns parts of your brain off that are anxious and worried about things and it's like oh i should do this i forgot to do that i should do that it dulls it dulls it makes you just be like nah yeah which is obviously in the long run not healthy but if you do it once a month occasionally and you're only doing it three or four times a month minimum No, no, no. I'll have a couple of drinks at dinner once a week, maybe twice a week. But for me to be supremely hungover, like get home at four in the morning, drugs, alcohol, whatever, that's once a month tops. That's true. But it used to be, I mean, obviously, when you're 21, you can just do it and it's all good. When you're 41, it's not as good. 42, maybe. Or 40. Or 40.

39 even. Okay, 39 is pushing it. 48. Okay, I understand what you mean. It's a variety of older ages, but it was making me wonder, is that something that I did or is that something that was already in me? Was it nature or nurture? Was it just like that's already programmed inside of me for whatever reason? Is that programmed inside of me because the alcohol and the bacteria, the gut biome is wanting more alcohol? Or... has my brain or has my body like tricked my brain into enjoying being hung over no you're a pro you're a pro and you like to eat nasty shit and i think that's what it is i think but i'm saying the gut biome wants to eat chili cheese fries and i'm saying no but it makes me get drunk So then those inhibitors, those receptors are dulled, and then I go eat the chili cheese fries. You're giving yourself a lot of credit here. I think you like to get drunk, and you like to eat nasty shit, and those two things work together in this case, and you're good to go. So if you're hungover, you're like, I'm going to eat nasty shit and feel no guilt about it, whereas you'll still eat the nasty shit if you're not hungover, but you feel guilt about it, and that's the problem. Yeah, but hangover enjoyment, nasty eating is... is a hero pillar yeah but it's not the only no i think you're right about the dulling of the brain and how that can kind of worry worry just like i'm gonna lay on lay in my hotel room bed i'm gonna lay on the couch order postmates watch winter house i'm just gonna say fuck it there's gonna be no guilt there's gonna be no shame because that part has been pissed out of my body for the next 48 hours or something like that i think that must be nice i've never felt like that in my entire life so so when you watch winter house in on the couch you you feel a little guilt and shame no no no no okay i feel like this is where i'm supposed to be like this is where i want to be i i just need dog voice yeah that's that's my that's when i feel the most the real me weekend voice don't it's not going to be a nate dog versus nate dog i guess possibly the hologram can you guys

Sometimes I think about the stupid shit that you guys did during COVID, and it makes me chuckle. Versus. Don't say you guys. Bro. Who are you talking to? Jadakiss? Versus is one of the dumbest things ever. You watched Versus more than I did, so you can't. I didn't watch Versus. I listened to Joe Budden talk about Versus a lot. I never watched one. Maybe I watched the Atlanta one. But the fact that. I remember we were at Decatur's house. Oh, yeah. That was a Jeezy Versus. It was Jeezy. Gucci. She's a Gucci, that's right. Where somebody should have died, but instead they just did their little songs and it was anticlimactic. But they thought Swizz and fucking Timberland thought they were going to be fucking multi-mill... It's just over. It's gone. But didn't they sell it? But it all... It's all fucked, I think. I think Triller... I think the whole thing got fucked. I'm just wondering, did they... Did somebody tell them, like, alright, you guys built this shit up, sell it right now, get your little... 8 million because this whole thing is about to crumble. I mean, I think that they probably thought that they've revolutionized entertainment and that making music a competition is good. When that's truly the opposite of what music is about, it makes me insane. Like, I don't mind rating systems and awards and recognizing things for being great, but making something like a scored system of, like, this is better than that is irresponsible. With the arts. With the arts. It's crazy. Dancing with the stars, singing with the stars, cooking with the stars, all those competition shows. Obviously, you and I both think those are stupid. We've never watched it. That's for people's moms to watch. Shout out to my mom and my girlfriend's mom who watch it. I think that's a different premise because that's set up as you're signing up for a competition. I think when... you're putting out music and you're considering your art and then somebody's like, actually, we're going to pit you against this person, decide which song is better when there's no relation to the, between the songs is very strange. But that's been a big part of hip hop for a long time. I agree. Rhyme battles, ciphers, freestyles. Again, again, that's people signing up for that. Like I'm going to out wrap you is a different thing than we're going to take the existing music that you made and, and place it up against other existing music. And we, the people,

idiots are going to decide which is better based on what exactly okay so it's more akin to something that's even more bygone one of the most bygone things of the indie sleaze era that you probably don't remember but as soon as i say it you will ipod battles i don't even know what that is i mean i can imagine that's where people will go on stage with their ipod that has like five songs loaded on it and you literally play a song, and then the crowd goes, oh, shit, and then stops, and then the person that you're battling, they play their song, and then it's like, all right, who won that battle round one? Did my Kanye West song beat your Justice song? That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I've never seen that, though. It was a big thing. I think it was big in France, and then it kind of came over to Brooklyn. That's very strange. It's the Paris to Brooklyn pipeline. I mean, I guess in that case, it's a taste-based competition. You know what I mean? It's a banger off. Yeah, it's a banger off, which I guess is what every DJ set is kind of at the same time. But making existing music compete against each other just made no sense to me. Yeah, I'm with you. Versus battle. The shit people do is fine. Hopefully it never comes back. We have to break down something people did during COVID every episode and be like, do you remember those guys? Do you remember that? Look, it's not our fault. It's not our fault, but it's... The craziest one, obviously, is crypto because there are people literally going on to podcasts. They're going on to network television and saying, put your life savings in crypto. Smart people were telling you to put your life savings in crypto. Invest your life savings in Bored Ape Yacht Club. Think about that. When's the last time you heard about Bored Ape Yacht Club? Unless I look at Ryder Rip's Instagram, it's not much. It was inescapable for a full year of our lives. It was inescapable to not hear about those two things. Now they're not even a blip on our radar culturally, financially, unless you're making fun of someone. Is there something from that era that is still – that's going to stick other than how long gone? That's the only real COVID success story? Of course. I think that people policing each other will stick around, of course. Horses.

I guess the restaurant horses and us. Yeah. I truly can't think of anything. Just El Prado and How Long Gone and Dime Square. Those are the only things. Smoking inside, I think, is partly. I think smoking is one of the biggest COVID success stories. That's what kept me out of the ER. Well, it kept you out. A nice pack of Hestia. It kept you out for now, and then eventually you will be in the ER because you have lung cancer. It's a different. By then, the ventilators are going to be a lot more comfortable. Ventilators. That was a big COVID thing. You don't hear about that much anymore, do you? And also, I think a big thing that happened during COVID, in addition to crypto and other investments where people are freaking out and putting their money into things, the watch game blew up really good as well. The watch game blew up. Thank God for Brent Trill. But I think one watch that didn't make the cut is a baby blue G-Shock watch that was doled out by John Mayer recently. Why didn't I get one is the real question. I think you've been on record as a G-Shock hater, a baby G and a daddy G hater. I'm a G-Shock hater because they're, I mean, if you're not a raver or a child, I don't know if you should be rocking. Like Homer Jewelry. I mean, Homer Jewelry is worse than G-Shock. Sad but true. Because at least a G-Shock is affordable. I guess I agree. But I guess a part of me, I could never wear a G-Shock, but I kind of like the back in the day when like, The cool, tactical, rich dad had the yellow one. Yeah, yeah. I think I could see that. Like it was giving Seattle zaddy vibes. It's the proto version of the hot guy and the good Garmin because he'd be really jogging. The good Garmin. The good Garmin. He got that good Garmin. Yeah, you know. Garmin Pro XL. Yeah. But there's something about the baby blue color that is cute enough where I kind of like it in a roundabout way. If Nomi Fry showed up in her gifted John Mayer G-Shock, I wouldn't think twice about it. You have to be a certain kind of person. Yeah, you got to be a certain kind of person. If I showed up in a G-Shock, you would kind of slam my wrist on the table like I had a gun in my hand. You know what I mean? To drop it. To get it off. But also, it takes a guy as popular and cool, as awesome as John Mayer.

To get a bunch of people to wear a baby blue G-Shock on their Instagram stores. I mean, Mare wears insane watches of all sorts at all times. Shit that costs more than my life. So it's his brand. So I guess if he wants to wear that plastic one, he can. Because the next day he puts on the one that's 100 racks. And he can live that kind of high-low lifestyle. I want to talk about Twitter. Okay. Because we had another. Get into it. We have another day where. some of your favorite losers are like, you can find me at Chris Black at Mastodon. You can find me on Tumblr. You can find me on Instagram. You can find me on my newsletter. Subscribe to my newsletter. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be on this hell site. I don't know how much longer I can stay in the bird app. And we literally, do you guys, you have to admit it has been a literal dumpster fire. You have to admit. But the fact that this happened a month ago for other reasons and no one left. don't we think maybe we should have learned from that? And maybe the knee-jerk reactions to these things that can be changed very easily or make no difference, I don't know if we should be reacting this way. If you care about Taylor Lorenz getting banned from Twitter, that ain't got nothing to do with me. I'm sorry that happened to you, sis. Shout out to Tay-Tay. Yeah, shout out to Tay-Tay, but that ain't going to get me off Twitter. You shouldn't have threatened him. I just don't understand. You shouldn't have said Elon got man titties. This is a private – he went Zelensky mode of the World Cup with the olive. He looked good too. I think that the fact that people are forgetting this is a privately owned company and this guy is going to do whatever he wants with it, and that's funny. Like why does that make you mad? Yeah. You can't be that invested in an app. Yeah. If you buy something, you're going to do whatever you want with it. You don't give a fuck. Like if you're like, oh, fuck. If somebody talks shit about me on some shit, I'm going to be like, all right, bitch, bye. That's funny. If I buy Domino's pizza and I'm like, you know what, guys? I'm going to start selling mostly salad. And they're going to be like, that's fucked up. But pizza. And he's like, don't care. It's Jason's Domino's now, bitch. Jason's Domino's. You get a Caesar and a Rocket. That's the two things we got. Well, two arguments to that.

There is a world where the Twitter vice keeps tightening more and more. The restrictions are getting more and more crazy. And as that progresses or degresses or whatever, more and more people are going to jump ship. I sent that link to you today about the rules and guidelines saying if you link out to any competing social media website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, all that show, then they can delete your tweet and suspend your account. Both of us are in violation. My Twitter bio says, like, yours not. I'm not in violation. You have an emoji of a chair. But I have howlonggone.com and I have Instagram slash them jeans. By me having Instagram them jeans on my Twitter bio, my account will be suspended until I remove it. I actually think, though, I'm not totally sure. Which is funny. But I feel like the fine print is maybe a little more nuanced than that. They have to say that because it could happen on drastic situations. I feel like it's more like if you're – it feels to me like if you're like an account that is strictly there to repost other social media. I don't think it's like the layman user who has something in their bio. I don't know if it's actually that extreme. I mean it technically said it could be. I don't know how – Tightly they're going to enforce that. I'm sure it technically could be. I just don't think that if you're that concerned about having your Instagram profile link in your Twitter bio, then quit. What the fuck? If it's that big of a deal to you, I don't understand what the big deal is. I don't use Linktree. I don't give a shit. I have my fucking website in my fucking bio. Everything's on a website. None of this matters. It's not like no one's taking your rights away. It's not that serious. Well, the other argument is, has Twitter grown to be such a crazy big thing like, let's say, the Channel 4 News? Sure. It needs to be policed. It's a utility. It's become public domain. It's no longer a privately owned business. Now it's just like having the internet or water or power. No, should the FCC be policing this the way the FCC polices?

like networker cable yeah yeah yeah i don't i don't know maybe i mean yeah sure but it's also like again the problem is is that but if it becomes that then that's a whole other set of dangers i mean that's a whole other set of dangers if it comes to new i just think it's also like if you're dumb enough to believe everything you see on a website we have to take some personal responsibility there has to be a little bit of like oh you fell for that like that's funny Like it's not – I don't know. Yeah, it's no different than just walking up to somebody in a mall and being – like tricking them into giving you their wallet. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, well – Sorry, bro. A criminal did crime on you. You should not do that. I just – the way that people react to this stuff is so insane. And they act like it's like – they literally – it's like emotional to them. And it's like, what is – why do you care about it? It's their lifeline. I've used this more than any of you guys, and I think it's funny. And if it goes away, I will be bummed. But I'm also like, well, he had $44 billion. That's his choice. I don't know what to tell you, chief. Do you think there'll ever be a situation where it gets down to like Elon is the only person left on Twitter? That would be a cool way for it to go. Him like talking to himself and liking his own stuff. Retweeting himself. Maybe. I mean, I also just think. I mean, I can't wait to see what happens to Twitter on April Fool's Day. Oh, it's going to be great this year. There's going to be so many lolcats. It's going to be really good. But the way people are acting about it, that combined with the World Cup today, I had to close the computer. I was like, this is too much. People are acting insane. It's all Elon's fault. Elon's in Keter. He's in Qatar with my boy. Who? Big Kush. He's out there with Kush, man. Really? Jared Kushner? He's out with Jared because apparently he needs money. And Kushner is obviously connected to money. He's a shouty plug. They were watching the game together. And I just don't. Again, though, my whole thing with all this stuff is the people blowing back the most on this shit absolutely own a Tesla or want to own a Tesla, order all their cat food from fucking Amazon. It's just crazy. It's the way people choose to really act like something is personally an attack to them.

When it's like we're all part of the problem here, guys, we don't know a single person who's not part of the problem. Well, I think the only people that seem to really be complaining are liberals and the people who are conservatives love the fact that they have taken over Twitter and turn it into, you know, this shit slinging situation. And I think the same thing could happen. Like, that's the crazy thing. Like if if Elon can turn. Twitter into a conservative MAGA stronghold. But that's not what he's trying to do. I'm not saying that's what he's trying to do or not trying to do, but he's revealing his true colors by, you know, hobnobbing with Jared Kushner's of the world and, you know, being in, you know, whatever. That's the whole thing. He's clearly leaning right now in the last month way more than he was before. Tesla has been wildly called, you know, like, that's a pussy car. I drive a diesel truck, Ford, Chevy. Tesla was the epitome of the enemy. That was the antithesis of an American Republican MAGA car. But is there a situation where the tide is turned and Tesla, all the liberal NPR, Tobag, New Yorker subscribers are going to sell their Tesla and it's going to be taken over by slack-jawed yokels? No, because they still think he's a putz. It's not like they think he's cool. The reason he's banning these journalists is because they're mean to him. It's not because they're Republican or liberal. It's because he's like, you're mean. Fuck you. I own this shit, which is funny. It's funny. It's petty and stupid and funny. But I do think the hobnobbing with the Cushman isn't great for optics on the Tesla side. I think it would have to be – I think he would have to literally, like, be, like, in Florida with Trump on the golf course 100 days a year. I don't – I think it would take something – All I'm saying, if they start putting superchargers at all the Walmarts – Then we got something to worry about. Mm-hmm. Now, I do think, though, that the – The Vast Pro Shop charging station? That's a great idea. But I do think that the kind of the –

Tesla being the signifier of I care about fellow man in the environment is over. I do think that's over. And it should have been over a long time ago because it's just you buying a $60,000 car that you like. And I think most people aren't buying that because of the benefits of what it does for the environment. I think you're buying it because it's expensive and new. The reason anybody buys any car. And it's also fun to drive and super fast. Yeah, but I'm saying all the stuff, the other stuff. And luckily we're... The worst part of the Tesla ownership was like around year two of it becoming popularized when everyone had the snarky license plates that was like MPG, LOL, or like me, no gas, or petrol. Luckily, those still exist in droves. They still exist, but there was a moment where it was a race to the bottom of who could have that clever. But this is what happens when you attach your belief system and personality to a corporation. This is the problem we see over and over. It's like we expect so much out of these corporations and they never deliver or they later default and go the way that we don't want them to go. And we're always stunned. This is crazy. I can't believe this is happening. Most people who live in Kentucky, if you ask them, like, hey, who's the CEO of Fox News? The thing that you watch 25 hours a day. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. But, like, hey, who owns that car company? Who owns GMC? We're like, no, I don't know. Who owns Twitter? Elon Musk. Who owns Tesla? Elon Musk. That's changing. No, 100%. And people used to separate the personal brand from the brand brand, and now you have to bring them together. You have to have a face to the name. You have to go out there, pound the pavement. What I find funny about all of this is that you know who really built up Elon is the libs. They were dapping up Elon. Elon was at all the galas. Elon's here. Elon's there. We love you. We love your mom. You're so sick. You're saving the environment. He busts Grimes open. He busts Grimes open. Tommy Pickles. He should have been busting MIA open this whole time. That's a good point. Damn, that's a good point. He goes MIA mode now. I'll raise him. I don't care. I got tons of kids. I don't give a shit. Throw them in the pile. He's that stuck in 2007 where he's like, damn, bro, Oblivion still smacks.

Paper planes still smash. No one on the corner does have swagger like us when you think about it. So he's going to switch his whole shit up. It's going to be fun to watch. It's going to be fun to watch because people are so enraged about it. People are so worked out. Well, this morning when the edibles hit and I had the 5D thought that whoever the Illuminati, whoever controls the Illuminati, you know, enters. Jay-Z. It was Hov and them. They were the people who were like, all right, Tesla is going to. a year ago before their stock took a shit. It was valued more than GMC and BMW combined. And Tesla and Twitter, these huge things, and they were growing too big, and they were poised to crush the world. And they're like, Jay-Z said, let's figure out a plan to have Elon Musk take all of his money from the thing that's killing it, dump it into this thing that's not going the way we want it to go. Two birds, one stone. His dumb ass will fumble both. And he'll destroy Tesla and Twitter all at the same time. He might. He might. And my true social and my GMC Yukon can continue to thrive again. Rise from the damn ashes, boy. We're back. Yeah, I mean, it's just. Elon is an invasive species. He goes into the beautiful garden, puts his dumb ass. dumb ass weeds all over everything. And now it's nothing. He's just, he's just so fun to make fun of. I don't understand how people like, I understand that. I guess in some ways it's quote unquote dangerous because he's got a lot of money and he's like powerful, but it's also like, this guy's kind of like a bumbling idiot as well. You know, it's like he, somehow both of those things exist. I mean, I was watching the Richard Branson documentary on HBO and is the same, like he's, he had his own airline at age like 32. But he's also dyslexic, and when they're interviewing him, he's like, uh, uh. Yeah. You can't be good at everything. But, you know, the hamster wheel inside the brain is just cooking, and Elon can't talk too good. But if he has his little MS-DOS prompt, and he's typing in his code, C plus shit. He's going God mode. And if Branson's like, all I gotta do is pick this bikini chick up over and turn her upside down and shit.

Hamster wheel. He's good to go. No, I mean, look, I love to watch it personally, and at least the World Cup's over, so we have one victory there. And we're going to keep powering through. But unfortunately, Christmas is around the corner, so it's one challenge after another for me right now. Christmas at TJ's house. Yeah, I mean, I've never... Oh, I got a question for you. Would you eat a bean and cheese burrito? Do you like that or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need rice, though. Inside the burrito? Yeah. BRC? Yeah. Dan, no wonder you're a thick bitch. Well, if you have broccoli too, I'd like that. But I don't want to kind of give you my Elmira order on the air. You need to – no, no, no. Well, I'll just – No, you do whatever you want. If I need to – no, I mean it could go either way because if you were not into a bean and cheese burrito, then I would not bother making vegetarian tortillas. I see. I would not use lard. For you guys listening, we are doing – We're doing Christmas together. I've never done Christmas. I like for you guys listening. I've never done Christmas with a friend before in my entire life. Neither have I. This is big for us, bro. I guess we're more than friends. Our families know that our finances depend on each other, so I guess they're accepting of this. Yeah, and now you have to deal with another family. I've met your family. No, I mean my fiance's family. Because her mom's going to be looking at you like, you can't fuck this up, honky. I'll sit her down and tell her who's fucking charging this thing up the fucking charts. And it ain't you. I'm like, look, I know he's nice and he's good to your daughter. She listens. She knows. She knows who the leader is. She knows who the public perception of the leader is. She has her own ideas about leadership. She's described me in the past as a puppet master. Wow. I think she's referring to you with females because you can't put your hand in my ass and guide me, bro. I ain't your little Kendrick Lamar Ventrilica's dummy. Look, that's what all my victims also assume. Okay. You think that you're in the front head of the class. You know, we've talked about this before. So I'm finally a victim. You're on the front line. I'm the sniper in the back. You don't even know what's going on. I got a red dot on the back of your head, and I'm saying dance, boy. A lot of snipers are saying dance, Megan. I'm saying dance, Megan. Don't. Bro, that shit. Ooh, baby. That's another one that's going.

I ain't touching that. The bodyguard disappeared. I'll tell you what, the only picture of Megan Thee Stallion and her bodyguard, they're both wearing like Toon Squad jerseys. And it's just on every – I see on Instagram all the – I think Toon Squad and Avatar 2 have the same opening weekend. I saw Uncle Pauly yesterday, and he was like, bro, there's this lawyer. There's some lawyer on Instagram, this kind of like nerdy guy who's at the trial. And he comes out during the break. He's like, oh, my God. He's going down. And he's like this. He's wearing like an Arterix puffer. That's why Pauly liked him. And he's talking about – but he's like breaking down the trial. But I just don't know. Like it's just so – the whole thing is so crazy. Like somebody – definitely shot her and like the her friend is just like all that other shit i said that's a lie i don't remember any of that and now it's just it's so crazy the whole thing i just don't know i don't know like toy lanes definitely did it but i don't know why the friend we don't know i mean we don't know but like i don't know why her because they both smashed the story yeah yeah yeah it's just it's all insane it feels like a tv it feels like truly made for tv Yeah, I mean, you can't really write this shit. Is it a blood sacrifice? I mean, I'd hate to go Illuminati mode again, but you know. I mean, we have to consider some sort of... There's the Madonna, Britney, kiss of death. Well, you know what Pauly told me. He said that part of this... Pauly's plugged in with Illuminati. Pauly is Illuminati. Yeah, I went to get a coffee at the place next to Uncle Pauly's, and there was an Alchemist album signing. And I was like, bro, there are too many backpacks in this fucking parking lot. I was like, I'm not wearing a flat-brim fitted, so you're not going to let me get a sandwich? I don't know. But he was telling me that I think— Let me go to SP-1200 and hold the pickles. No muster on my SP. He said that part of the reason this all happened is because your boy, Tory Lanez, was hollering at Kylie in front of both of them that night. Oh, okay. Okay, little Tory Lanez was trying to get up inside of Travis's chick. How's that going to happen? How did he do any of this? How is Tory Lanez even famous? Have you ever heard a Tory Lanez song? No. But didn't somebody say, I don't know if it was you, but somebody was saying there's a world or it's not super likely, but there's a chance that Tory Lanez could have more money than Megan.

Tory Lanez is low-key, very popping, but I believe that it's from, like, mixtapes and shit. So I think he probably does well live, but he doesn't have, like, hits. You know what I mean? If you really listen to hip-hop, you probably know his... He's kind of like a singer, you know? Yeah, I don't have one. No one. I don't know a single Tory Lanez song. It's crazy. The whole thing is fucking insane, and it's going to end soon. He's named after a damn bowling alley. Oh, I didn't even think about that. A British one, Tory Lanez. It sounds more like a high-end golf course to me. Well, I mean, anything Lanez. Chateau Lanez. Tory's going down, bro. Tory's going down. Tory ain't. We ain't going to get another mixtape from his ass. Tory Burch. Tory Burch comes before Tory Lanez when you Google Tory. Tory Burch comes above most things for me, so that's good to know. I mean, if Tory Lanez goes down, that's further proof of the destruction of the middle class. Wow. The middle class of hip-hop, it's a real thing. No, I know. And Tory is living right in there. I was really upset when Drake squashed the beef with him back in the day. I thought it was cool that Drake had beef with, like, a guy from Toronto that was five foot tall. We've got to get Tory removed. Somebody in some mafia needs to go give Tory an offer that he can't refuse. You want the silver? You want the lead? He's going to go, you know, like. We need him to go away. He's a pest. Yeah, like, it's one of those situations where, like, you know, like, it'll be super low-key. We got you a nice little spot down in, like, St. Barts or, you know. You know. Paradise, but you are secluded. No more music. And he'll be like. No, man, I can't do that. He's like, oh, you can't do that? Now we're going to Anchorage. You want to keep playing this game, Torrey? He's like, no, I'm sorry. You know what? Actually, I'm realizing this. He exploded during COVID with something called quarantine radio. I'm not kidding. I didn't listen to it. Was it on Apple or something? No, no, no. I think it was like Instagram Live. I don't know anything about it. I just know that all of my podcasts, the two I listened to, talked about it a lot. It was like a big thing.

So I think he unfortunately benefited from COVID the way we did. So I guess we're kind of compatriots in that way. Yeah, whenever Chris is in my car and he tries to put on one of his fucking Traveling Wilburys B-sides, that's when I quarantine him from my radio. You'd be better. Traveling Wilburys, we can listen to that tonight on the way to the podcast. Actually, Loki, I love. That's a good idea. Maybe we'll put a little Wilburys on the end of this episode. That's a great idea. We need to educate these people. But I hope everybody's... Ready for Christmas. Do you have all your presents sorted? Yeah, I purchased all my presents. The only thing that's going to fuck me is another Canadian, Essence.com. Yeah, there are some Essence shipping delays. I'm sure you guys are all familiar as the fashionistas that listen to this podcast. It'll only be about five weeks. After I ordered... It's okay. Maybe you could print out a picture of the item and then put it in a box and kind of give that and be like, hey, this is... That's a good solution, actually. And you could even put the receipt, black out the price, obviously, because I'm sure you bought it on sale, but kind of just show that the purchase was made. No. Howlonggone.com is the website. Oh. Thank you to all our fans in Seattle, especially the ones that got a DUI driving back. We're sorry to hear that. Yeah, to our special friends and family who may have been pulled over for driving under the influence. Oh, I guess we owe you something. I'll give you a lighter. Yeah, we'll give you a lighter. And shout out to a friend of the show, Sid, for coming through and warming us up without realizing it. with a spirited conversation backstage. Yeah, that was nice because usually when we're backstage, it's just Chris and I and then we'll have friends of ours come in and be like, dude, it's packed out there. It's so dope. And I'm just like, just get away, man. I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm trying to focus on this. The more I talk to you, the more I'm going to forget what I was going to talk about on stage. But then your friend came and we... She almost interviewed us and it really was like loosening us up. I said that as soon as she left, I was like, damn, I feel like ready for this because we just had like a real conversation for half an hour. And it wasn't just you like smoking a cigarette, nervously looking at your phone. So it was good. It was good for me too, is what I'm saying. But yeah, thank you to Seattle, a beautiful place. Thank you to our friends at Deep Dive.

for hosting us with that also wait wait we should talk about we should talk about the seattle hot dog we learned about because i didn't know about this and neither did you but the seattle style hot dog is a hot dog with cream cheese and jalapenos and and that is fucking disgusting well it sounds fine like when you have if it's a regular hot dog with cream cheese and jalapenos but the version that i had a deep dive it was too fat no no it was it was opposite It was like a whipped cream cheese that was completely flavorless. It was just a white flavorless substance. Oh, I see. Okay. The dog wasn't the problem. The whole point of cream cheese is like when you're eating it in a salmon Philly roll or on a bag or whatever. It's like you have this one thing and then you have the creamy tang of that cream cheese. And it pairs well. Gray with everything. Cucumber, tomato. All that stuff. But they had this like. Dumbass, goofy. They went too hard instead of just getting the tub of Philly from the distributor. They chefified it way too much. That happens. It was all fucked up. It was all fucked up. Yeah, don't go. Yeah, how long gone? Thank you to Seattle. Thanks for coming out. We had a blast, and it was a little colder than we would like, but that's fine. And those shirts that we made, and I posted them online, if you guys think that you like the shirt, send me a message. If enough people seem interested, we'll... We'll print some more out and sell them online. Okay, Jason's crowdsourcing now. I don't back this at all. We might put t-shirts up, but we might not. It seemed like a hit. What else we got? I think that's it. We got some podcasts this week. Don't worry. We have a special Christmas episode with a longtime friend of the show. Oh, yeah. That's going to be fun. Well, it's not a Christmas episode. It's a holiday episode. In my household, it's a Christmas episode. Okay? I don't care what faith the guest is. Okay. That's not my... We'll ask this guest then. I'll tell this guest. Okay? I'll let them fucking know. Let they them know. Yeah, Wilbur is... Wilbur. Was I thinking Highwayman or Wilbur? Either one.